Silver Lining

by Chronicleofabutterfly

The after math of Hell Hath No Fury. Part five in the series. AU

6. Disaster

Silver Lining

Chapter 6: Disaster

A/N At last the author was dug out of the monumental mound of paperwork she'd been buried under for the past month.

Disaster comes in all shapes and sizes. This afternoon it comes in the form of an upset thirteen year old boy who is walking to the SUV that is always in the same place at the same time.

"Where's Isaac and the monsters?" Sam asked sadly as he slowly slid into the SUV.

Olivia smiled softly and turned in the seat to see him, "Dad picked up Isaac early from school-"

"Still hatin' it, huh?" Sam exhaled and leaned his head against the window, "maybe I'll have a talk with him. Where are the monsters?"

"At the gym. Your dad had a client." Olivia reached out, ran her hand through his shaggy hair, "You don't have to pretend that you're not upset."

He pulled his head away and slouched down, his brow furrowing, "I'm not upset. She wants to have surgery so she'll look better and have all the friends in the world, whatever. Fine. Be my guest. She can bug off for all I care."

Olivia exhaled, rested her head on the headrest and pulled in her lips before speaking, "She loves you."

"Whatever."

"You're being a jerk."

"It's the Wilson in me."

"Stop!" she commanded firmly. "Don't. You. Dare!"

He exhaled, rubbed his temple with his fingertips, "I'm sorry."

"You're not a Wilson, you're a Stabler and that's a twenty-four hour job, you got me?"

He sniffled and shook his head, "Mom? I don't know what's happening to me."

She furrowed her brows and turned so she was completely facing him, "What do you mean?" she asked, softening her voice, "Tell me. I'd like to know, honey."

He shook his head, "I'm angry all the time, Mom. So angry… I don't know what's happening to me."

"Honey, you're thirteen… things are gonna-"

"All the time, Mom… for stupid stuff. I'm just angry, and I do the stuff that Mags tells me and sometimes it works, but sometimes… most of the time, it doesn't," he bit his bottom lip and tilted his head like he wanted to say something then stopped.

"Sam," Olivia said softly, "you use to hate to talk, and look at you now. I don't have to drag it out of you anymore, that's a good thing, honey… things take time. Anger takes time, and you have good reason to feel anger. I'll never tell you that you shouldn't… what were you going to say? Its okay, to tell me."

He swallowed, bowed his head and immediately corrected himself before she could. It's taken years, but he's realized his parents will never allow him to hang his head in shame. "Do you remember that time when I went to see George… before I found out he wasn't my real dad?"

"You went a few times, can you be specific?"

"I asked him," he exhaled slowly, "if he thought my head could be bad, you know? Like, like just born bad-"

"I remember he told you that you were a good boy," she said glancing in the rearview mirror at the cars lining up behind her. Kids happily getting in and kissing their parents. Talking and laughing.

"You think he could be wrong?"

Her brows raised slowly, her eyes wide, "Honey… what's going on?"

"Do you think he could have been wrong?"

"George has been a doctor for a lot of years. I worked with him for years. He's good. He wasn't wrong."

He licked his lips, ran his hand forward and back through his hair, "I think he was wrong."

"Then you're wrong," she countered quickly, "You are one-hundred percent wrong."

"I hate her for doing this, mom… I hate Crystal. That has to make me right and George wrong," he wiped quickly at a tear and shook his head, "How can you love someone, how can you be best friends with someone and hate them at the same time? Your head has to be messed up. It has to."

"No," she whispered and trailed a finger along his cheek. "No, it doesn't mean that you're messed up, Samuel. It means you're human and you love her. Love is so complex, honey. It's not cut and dry or black and white, it's completely grey and in between."

He swallowed, his face turning bright red in an effort to control his tears, "I yelled at her," he choked out his confession.

"What?" Olivia furrowed her brow. "When? You woke up late this morning, you didn't call her and she had her surgery really early in the morning-"

"I borrowed Uncle Robert's cell phone during lunch… he's pretty pissed at me, too."

She shook her head and exhaled, "Your language has really went south," she smiled softly and took another breath, "That explains the message he left for me at work then, huh?"

"He called you?"

"Asked me to call him back… I didn't have time… what happened?"

He closed his eyes, swallowed and tried so desperately to control his tears, "Where are the kids?"

"You wanted me to take you to the hospital… that's why your father has them."

"The day care is open at the gym, now?"

"As of two days ago… you're ignoring whatever is happening."

"I called the hospital, the surgery was only supposed to go two hours, and so I called to see how she was."

"She answer?"

"Her mom did."

"And?"

"She woke up and wanted to talk."

"Uh, huh… and?" she prodded.

He covered his face with his hands and shook his head as he sobbed, "I yelled at her mom. I'm so sorry. I yelled at her and called her selfish and told her I hated her."

Olivia's jaw dropped and it took her a moment to form her question, "Sam… why did you-"

"Because!" he snapped and raised his face, it was red, pained with tear tracks. "Because, now everyone one else will see how beautiful she is and she'll have friends and some stupid jerk-wad-bastard will take her from me and then we'll never…" he shook his head, closed his mouth and flared his nostrils, "Uncle Robert is pissed."

"Where did you pick up the language?" Olivia smiled softly.

"I'm a product of public schools, mom."

"God wouldn't want it for you, Sam… you know that."

He exhaled, "I don't feel like I know anything, Mom."

She tilted her head, exhaled and reached out to him, wrapped her arm around him and pulled him close, a kiss on his head, "Uncle Robert might be angry, but it's only because you've never done something like this. You took him by surprise-"

"He yelled at me… he's never done that."

"You deserved it… you were a jerk. Plain and simple."

"I know."

She kissed him again, "But, that doesn't mean you shouldn't go visit her."

And just like that, she hit it square on the nail. He pulled her closer, buried his face in her neck as he'd done when he was eight, nine, ten and even eleven years old. He sobbed, "Yeah, well… she told me to never visit her."

She kept her lips in his hair, another soft kiss as she hugged him, "You upset her… did you think she'd want you there after you yelled at her?"

"I don't know."

She smiled, "You and your father are two peas in a pod. Son… go visit her."

He pulled away slowly and leaned back against the window, the warm sun highlighting his jaw line and if Olivia squinted she could swear she saw the thin line of a mustache. When in the heck did that happen to her baby? "She told me, she wants to switch schools… to get away from me. She said she never wants anything to do with me again."

Olivia nodded, "Well, if that's the case then I hope you've learned your lesson, but whatever the situation, you're going to the hospital right now, and you're going to apologize. Your father and I didn't raise you this way, Samuel… I know you're hurting and I know you're angry and I know you're starting to question yourself again for whatever reason… but those aren't excuses I'm willing to accept-"

"I can't go, Mom," he sobbed, "I can't. I think it will hurt her more."

Olivia took in a breath and looked out the front windshield, the crowds had dissipated save a lonely crossing guard, "One thing that I've learned about you and Crystal is that you two have always been able to work things out. You're stuck to each other like nothing I've ever seen. You have some serious apologizing to do and it's not gonna hurt to bring her a flower while you do it."

"Mom… she'll hate me."

"From what you've told me… she already does. What do you have to loose?"

He exhaled, "Mom," he cried in frustration, "I don't know what to do!"

Olivia smiled softly, "I'm telling you honey. You go there right now, you try to make it right and then you let her do the rest… you hurt her honey. She needed you and you dropped the ball-"

"Mom!"

"I'm telling you the truth. I'm not gonna lie to you and say that what you did was okay, because it wasn't… but I will tell you that I'll help you fix it. The rest is up to her and if she doesn't want to see you or hear from you, you'll have to accept that."

"But mom… she's mine," he whispered.

She covered his hand with hers and squeezed softly, "When did she become a possession, huh? When did she become something like Moses or Zeus, rather than your best friend? You can't let your insecurities come between you two."

"I'm not!"

"You are," she whispered. "Honey, I've listened to you all this time and your only reason for hating this surgery is not that it might have a bad effect on her, but that she'll be beautiful and have friends… which means less time for you."

He sniffled, "She's not like Moses… I just… why is it hard, mom? Why does it have to be this way?"

She exhaled, caressed his cheek, "Love is hard, Samuel, but it's not impossible."

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"I should have worn a tie," Sam exhaled, stalling to enter the hospital room.

Olivia elbowed him softly in the arm, "You never wear a tie around an angry women… all sorts of bad things can happen."

Sam smiled softly, "She's gonna hate me."

Olivia exhaled and wrapped her arm around his waist as they stood in front of the door, "Well, look on the plus side son-"

"What plus side, Mom? This is bad."

She smirked, "Yeah, but the plus side is she'll be too weak to throw anything at you."

He visibly deflated, the pain clearly written on his face as he leaned his forehead against the door and exhaled, "You'll say I'm too young to know what it is, to understand it…. but, I love her, Mom… like dad loves you… and then so much more."

She rubbed his back softly, "If you love her… you'll try and make it right. Love is synonymous for eating crow, and you son… have got a big one to gulp down today."

He smirked, "When I was small, you use to rock me, tell me everything would be okay… sometimes I'd rather go back to that. I'd rather go back to you and dad."

She smiled softly, kissed his cheek, "Get in there."

"Come with me."

"I think she'll want to see you alone-"

"Just… wait on the side, you know? Just… in there, though?"

"You want your mom with you?"

He smiled, leaned his head on her shoulder, "Always… between you and me, I'm a mama's boy."

She laughed out loud, pulled him close, "Yeah, I'll go in, but if things get hot… if she tries to kill you, I won't be a witness. I'm skipping out."

"You'd abandon me in there?" he grinned.

Olivia smiled, "Angry chicks… that's brutal. Yeah, I'll leave you hanging to fend for yourself in there."

He smiled big then slowly let if fall before stepping into the room.

"Samuel," Crystal's Mom smiled, "Good to see you."

"Leave," Crystal said weakly from the bed, but no matter how fragile her words were, it knocked the life right out of Sam. "Get out."

Sam hung his head. Didn't pick it up, "Okay," he whispered and turned to leave.

Olivia snagged him by the back of his shirt, "No."

He exhaled, ran his hand forward and back through his hair and slowly, cautiously made his way deeper into the no man's land, "H-how are you feeling?" he asked.

"What do you care?" her whispered barely met Olivia's ears as she sat down in a chair in the corner of the room. Crystal's mother sitting next to her.

"Those two are gonna kill me," she smiled softly and nudged Olivia. "Seem's they've had a fight."

Olivia shook her head, "Samuel… he said some things he shouldn't have. He's apologizing and then I'll make sure he respects what she wants. I'm sorry this happened."

"Nonsense," she smiled. "Come on, we both know those two are gonna end up married, may as well get some practice in the fight arena while they're young."

"Married, huh?" Olivia looked on as Sam stood dejectedly at the foot of the bed, his hands in his pockets, his head still bowed, "He's still my baby."

"Crystal is still mine," she smiled and leaned back. "The wrapping on her face blocks a lot of the swelling… she hasn't seen it yet. I saw right after they brought her in… it's pretty bad, but they say it'll get better… she'll need more surgeries as she gets older."

Olivia exhaled, "I'm sorry."

"I'm not… she's wanted to do this for awhile. The kids are ruthless to her."

"I know… Sam-sometimes he tells me."

"He's afraid to loose her… that's all," she assured Olivia. "He's a good boy."

"I know," Olivia whispered and watched him wince from another scathing rejection, but still make his way to Crystal's bedside. "She's a good girl… she's gonna put him through the ringer, though, huh?"

"Oh, yeah… probably twice," she chuckled then calmed. "In all seriousness… she's been pretty upset… she needed him."

"I know… I tried to explain that, but he's sort of being egocentric."

"I've tried to tell her why, but… Crystal is Crystal."

Olivia smirked, "Samuel is Samuel."

"Which is exactly why they'll get over this."

Olivia sighed and watched her son attempt to interact with Crystal, and clearly, Crystal wasn't wanting anything to do with him.

"Just get out! I don't know why you came, anyway!" she hissed from the hospital bed.

Sam licked his lips and ran his hand through his hair, "I came… I came to say that I'm sorry."

Even though Crystal's face was shrouded with gauze and wrapping Olivia was certain her brows had narrowed, "You're sorry?" she snapped and shook her head.

"Yeah… I am," he exhaled and side stepped the bed so that he could stand directly to the side of it, his hand hesitantly hunting for hers on the mattress. He found it, tried to cover it.

She slapped it away, "That's great, Sammy. I'm really glad you're sorry… get out!"

"I was a jerk," he whispered and crammed his hands into his pockets, "a big one."

"You don't say?" she sniffled and moaned as she turned her head. Even though he couldn't see her, she didn't want to look at him. "Go. I'm getting a headache."

"You don't get headaches," he whispered and reached around until he found a chair and sat in it. "You're just trying to get rid of me."

"You're still sharp," she snapped, "Get. Out. Samuel Stabler."

"No."

Olivia's eyes widened, "Um… I'm gonna take him-"

"No, no… she's being stubborn… he was the first person she asked for when she woke up. They're fine."

"You're sure? I don't want to upset her… he can call tonight-"

"No, they need to get this settled… you know how they are. Remember all the times they have squabbled… have they ever just blatantly forgiven one another?"

Olivia smirked, "No… no they haven't."

She smiled and leaned back, "Just let them work it out."

Olivia nodded, leaned back and continued to watch, although she'd obviously missed something between the two because Sam had since, pulled his chair closer to the bed and was whispering things she had to strain to hear.

"You're my best friend, Crystal… I'm sorry, I yelled at you."

She sniffled, "Samuel… sorry, doesn't make me hurt any less. It doesn't make my leg feel better where they peeled off my skin and it doesn't make my face look or feel better."

He furrowed his brows, "If I could make it… so that you never had to deal with that… I would. You know that don't you, Crystal?" he asked and wiped his tear with the back of his hand, "You know I wouldn't want you to be in pain."

"Then what did you call that phone call, Samuel? Do you have any idea how much that hurt? Do you have a clue at all? No, you don't."

He bowed his head, clenched his jaw a deep breath taken. She really was being brutally honest with him, "I'm sorry-"

"I needed my friend, Sammy… I needed you and you made sure that I would go into surgery upset and that I would wake up upset… without you. Why would you do that to me? We're friends, Sammy… why did you do that?"

He bit his bottom lip, and timidly placed his hand back on the mattress and Olivia wanted to fall out of her chair the moment his hand covered hers, his adolescent fingers lacing with hers, "I was jealous. I'm sorry."

"Jealous? Of what? Did you want someone to rip the skin off of your leg and super glue it to your face?"

He smirked, "No… I just don't want…"

"Want what? Sammy, say it… why were you so mean?"

Olivia's brows rose slowly as she watched his thumb rub the top of Crystal's palm. They are only thirteen. Distance. That's what they need but as she sees them both break, she knows it would be futile to stand in their way.

He stopped the soothing motion and tapped his index finger over her hand, "I don't want anyone else to have you," he said hoarsely as the tears continued to fall.

"Have me?"

"As a friend… I love you Crystal. I like hanging out with you."

Olivia saw her lips raise in the faintest smile, "You like me that much, huh?"

"I do."

She exhaled, swallowed, "You really hurt me Sammy… more than I ever thought you could. Jerk doesn't begin to cover what you did."

Quickly, he let her hand go, dug deep into his pocket and pulled out a crumpled daisy, "I got you a flower," he said and held it between them, only three pedals remaining, four at the most, "I got you this flower, 'cause… I'm a jerk."

Slowly and with care of her I.V she took the crumpled and surely dead flower from his hand, "You're not supposed to stick flowers in your pocket, dufuss."

He smirked, "You're name calling."

"I can't smell it… not only is it brutalized but… all of this gauze and stuff blocks everything, you know?"

"You in pain?"

"From you or the surgery?" she asked in dead seriousness and both Olivia and Crystal's mother cringed.

Sam closed his eyes, "I'm sorry, Crystal. You've got to know that I am."

Her voice cracked as her chest heaved, "It still doesn't change the fact that I needed you and you turned your back on me, Sammy… I wouldn't have done that to you. I've never done that to you."

"Please," he swallowed, but made no motion to wipe his tears, "I'm begging you to forgive me. I don't like it when we disagree."

"This isn't a disagreement, Sam… this is a fight. You messed up. Big time."

"I did," he confessed. "I'm trying to make it right, Crystal… please, meet me half way?"

She fingered the soft pedal of the flower and looked at him. Her eye sight was a little hazy but she saw the regret etched in his features, saw the tears streaming his face and felt his fingers squeeze hers again.

"Please, Crystal. I'm sorry."

She sobbed as both mothers looked on in concern and Sam, so much like his father, leaned his body closer and lowered his voice so that even with the best trained ear Olivia couldn't hear him, "Please. I'll do anything," he whispered in her ear. "You're my friend. Let me make it up to you? I'll do your homework all year."

Crystal sniffled, raised a shaky hand and placed it softly on his shoulder, "You can be such an 'A-hole' sometimes, Samuel… but yeah, I'll forgive you."

He grinned slowly and surprised all three women buy pulling Crystal's hand to his face and kissing it softly, "I'm sorry."

"I know," she whispered and lowered her hand, "I like having you around too, you know?"

He tilted his head, "Crystal?"

"Yeah? Make it quick, I'm starting to want my pain killers, they'll knock me out."

"Can I… I can't see what you –"

"Go ahead, but be soft."

"Am I ever rough?" he smirked and gently rested the tips of his fingers on the gauze, "Mummy."

"Shut up."

"Did they say it worked?"

"I need more surgeries when I get older… it's a long thing, you know?"

"More?"

"Yeah… gives you a chance to make up for the crappy way you handled this one."

He smiled softly and stood only to bend over the side of the bed, his thumb grazing her uncovered cheek before he slowly lowered his lips to the flesh there and kissed her delicately, "All better?"

"Getting there."

Crystal's mother leaned over to Olivia, "Did Samuel just kiss my daughter?"

Olivia stared in shock, "Uh, yeah…. I'll kill him."

"No," she smirked, "No. It was innocent."

Olivia continued to watch, sure it was innocent but Olivia felt her stomach sink, knowing that eventually it would lead to more and her son would be a man, hopelessly in love with a woman.

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And because disaster comes in all different shapes and sizes Olivia has prepared herself for anything. Sam, exhausted, has curled up in his bed for a nap, while she lays on the sofa waiting for Elliot to return with dinner. Hannah and Solomon napping in her and Elliot's bed while Isaac lay sprawled out on the sofa across from her.

She has become the very thing she never thought possible.

Domesticated.

She'd always wanted to be, but never thought she'd ever get the chance yet here she was, hair pulled back in a sloppy pony-tail. Kids strung about the house while they recharged themselves and a book in her hands that at one time seemed only capable of holding a case file for an abused woman or child, an occasional man at times.

"Mama?" Hannah's small voice broke into her thoughts and sent her gaze in search of the voice that was normally bright, but currently broken.

"Honey?" Olivia pushed herself up and held out her arms, "Come here, what's wrong, pumpkin?"

"Hurts me right here, Mama," she said sadly and raised her wrist to her mother, "can you kiss it pweaze?"

Olivia grinned and pulled Hannah into her lap, "Sure can," she whispered as she helped her daughter settle against her chest. She raised her hand to her lips and kissed her softly, "All better?"

"Yeah, t'ank you."

Olivia hummed against her daughter's hair, "I thought you were napping?"

"Scary picture," she whispered and tightened her mother's arms around her small body.

"Scary picture?" Olivia furrowed her brow, "Did you have a dream?"

"Yeah," Hannah nodded, "Scary… Solo is sleepies and I tired too, Mommy."

"I know you are," Olivia whispered and kissed her cheek from behind, "I can rock you back to sleep… want that?"

"Kermit and Mr. Uno?" Hannah asked.

"What about them?"

"You rock them wid'me?"

"I can rock Mr. Uno with you, but, honey… Kermit needs his water."

"Dat's suck about Kermit."

Olivia grinned, "I think Kermit is cool."

"I like Kermit… but I want to hold him."

Olivia smiled and kissed Hannah's cheek again, "I'll tell ya what… you go talk to Kermit, make him happy and I'll be in to rock you and Mr. Uno… how's that?"

"I make him happy?"

"Sure… I'm sure he'll understand why he can't be rocked. I'm sure he'll be fine with it."

"Sure?" Hannah raised her brows, "Kermit really wants to be rockeded with you and me."

"Positive."

Hannah grinned and scooted off of her mother's lap, making her way back to her room, "You comin' mommy?"

"Give me a few minutes," Olivia called back to her, "I'll be in, in a second," she smiled and heard her daughter's giggle.

Olivia straightened up the small clutter she'd made, folded a throw she'd used as a pillow and placed it on the back of the couch and stilled as soon as she heard the tub water turn on.

"Hannah! No bath tub for Kermit!" She called down the hallway.

"Ah, mommy!" Hannah groaned, "Kermit wants to get wet."

"Honey, he's in a bowl of water. He's already wet!" Olivia informed her as she stacked her book on the coffee table and made her way back to her daughter before hearing the front door open.

"Hey," she grinned and stopped before passing the opened door.

Elliot smiled, setting down his keys and kissing her softly on the cheek, "Hey… you look amazing."

She swatted him playfully, "Yeah, this pony tail is really hot."

He kissed her again, take-out still in his hand, the bag bulging as he pulled her waist to him and kissed her mouth softly, "It is."

She smiled brightly against him and nuzzled her nose against his. She opened her mouth to say something before instantly pulling back as if he were on fire.

"What?" he furrowed his brows.

"Do you hear that?" She whispered and trained her attention to the back of the house.

"No… I don't hear anything."

Olivia's eyes bounced side to side, "Exactly," she mumbled and turned to continue her way down the hall. Elliot set the bag on the floor and followed her, intrigued by the sudden suspicion.

"What's going on, Liv?" he asked and was shushed by a wave of her hand as she stopped at the kids' bathroom door.

From what Elliot saw, his wife's lips grew tight, her hand rest on her hip, her brows arched, one of their children were in the restroom and unless he got next to his wife fast, they were gonna meet their mother's wrath.

Olivia took a breath to say something when Elliot wrapped his arm around her waist, kissed her neck softly and rested his chin on her shoulder as she physically relaxed. Elliot furrowed his brows once he'd seen the apparent cause of Olivia's dissatisfaction.

Hannah Stabler quietly stood in front of the toilet bowl, her knees slightly bent, her small hands covering her thighs as she stared quietly, almost mesmerized into the toilet bowel. Her thick dark hair falling and hanging as she peered into the bowl.

"What is she doing?" Elliot whispered softly, surprised that Hannah could be so captivated with the toilet bowl that she didn't hear her parents sneak up on her.

Olivia shook her head, "Young lady," Olivia said firmly and Elliot felt so sorry for his baby girl.

Hannah was startled. She immediately stood straight up, her large brown eyes staring at her mother before all of her senses engaged at once and she squeaked, instantly pulling for the silver lever to flush the toilet. She slammed the toilet lid down and quickly sat on it, "Hi, Daddy," she smiled.

She was sneaky. Oh, so sneaky.

Elliot grinned, "You were up to no good, weren't you Morning Glory?"

"No," she smiled up at him.

"Honey?" Olivia furrowed her brow and tilted her neck, "Why is Kermit's bowl in the bathroom?" she asked and reached for the empty bowl, "Han- Oh, no. Hannah… did you put Kermit in the water after I said no?" Olivia asked and looked into the tub.

A few inches of water. No frog.

And then the dawning of realization.

Olivia turned back around slowly and looked at her innocent little girl. Her innocent little girl that had just committed involuntary frog-slaughter. "Baby," Elliot bent slowly, his legs grinding and popping but never keeping him from leveling his eyes with his daughter's, "where's your frog?"

"Wha'frog, Daddy?" she asked softly, her chubby toes reaching out to touch his thigh.

"Honey," Olivia kneeled next to Elliot, "Where's Kermit, pumpkin?"

"Kermit?" Hannah tilted her head, "Who dat?"

At three, their daughter would have been a challenge to break in the interrogation room.

"Hannah, get off the toilet," Elliot whispered and slowly took her hand and pulled her off of the toilet.

She held the lid down, "He not in der, prowmise," she said. The anxious voice she used, told them otherwise.

Gently, Olivia removed Hannah's hands and raised the lid.

She was right, Kermit wasn't in there… at least not after she flushed him down the drain.

"Hey!" Hannah furrowed her brow and looked into the bowl, "Where my Kermit go?"

"Honey," Olivia deflated and picked her up, letting her set on the countertop. "Pumpkin, did you put Kermit in the toilet?"

"No," she shook her head but avoided her mother's eyes at all cost.

Olivia hooked her finger under Hannah's chin and turned her face to her, "Sweetie… tell me the truth. No time out, I promise. Did you put Kermit in the toilet bowl?"

Hannah let her lower lip stick out, "You saided no sink, yesterday, and no baf'tub so I putted him in the potty, so hims could getted wet."

Olivia and Elliot's cringe was obvious as Elliot stood, "Oh, Morning Glory… the toilet… it doesn't give us stuff, back," Elliot whispered and pushed her hair softly behind her ear.

Even her ears were Olivia's.

"Wha you talkin' Daddy? The potty givded Mommy poopie back… 'member how mad she gotted when it came back?"

"Nana," Olivia rubbed her small thighs softly. "Doesn't work that way baby. Remember, Mommy fixed the potty so it doesn't give stuff back."

Hannah, looked over her shoulder at the toilet and took in a breath, her brows furrowing, "Kermit no come back?"

"Not after a flush," Elliot whispered and kissed her head softly. "I'm sorry baby, Kermit is in a really super big bowl, now."

Hannah turned quickly to her mother, "Mommy?"

Olivia licked her lips, tilted her head in compassion and ran her knuckle over her chubby cheek, "Sorry, pumpkin… Kermit can't come back now."

Hannah swallowed, looked back at the toilet then frantically to her father, "You make him come back, Daddy?"

Elliot shook his head, "I can't… Daddy, can't. I'm so-"

"Mommy?" Hannah looked to her in desperation, her chest frantically raising and falling. "Mommy… you fix the potty so it gives us poopie back and then Kermit will come back?"

Olivia held her daughter's ankle and brought it to the side of her leg, rubbing the small calf softly, "I'm sorry, Baby-"

"But-but-but you finded Solo's snake."

"That's a little different, honey," Olivia tried to explain, "Solo's snake was ali-"

Hannah's face crumbled, her brown eyes dieing immediately, "Kermit dead? He a gonner Mommy?"

"Baby-"

"Daddy?" Hannah looked at him and began to cry, "My froggie, dead?

Elliot bit his lip, "Yeah," he said hoarsely, "I'm sorry."

She shuddered as she tried to catch her breath and reach for her mother "'Cause I flusheded the potty, mommy?"

"Oh, honey," Olivia whispered and picked her up, hugging her tightly, one hand under her bottom, the other on the back of her head as she cried into her neck, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I scared you."

Hannah sobbed uncontrollably in her mother's arms as she walked her into her room.

"I'll get you some dinner, Liv… Love, you Morning Glory," he called softly and rubbed Hannah's back before Olivia took her into her bedroom and laid her on her tiny bed.

"You're okay," Olivia whispered, and curled up next to her daughter, "I'm sorry, honey."

She sobbed, "You sure, he not comin' back, mommy?"

Olivia pulled in her lip, and tangled her hand in her daughter's hair, "Pretty sure, baby girl."

Hannah pulled tighter to her mother's body , her tiny knees pulling up to her chest, her bare toes rubbing against Olivia exposed flesh between her pants and shirts, "I want my froggie."

"I know," Olivia whispered and pressed her lips to Hannah's forehead, "I know, baby."

"Mommy," Hannah cried "I sad, now."

"I know," Olivia told her and ran her finger over her daughter's wet cheek, "but, maybe he lived and now he's swimming in a super big pool."

Hannah darted her eyes in thought and sniffled, "Maybe Kermit livded?"

"Yeah," Olivia smiled softly knowing he was probably dead. More than likely dead, anyway.

"He alive…I just no see him?"

"Yeah."

"Like, when you and Daddy spended a lot of days at work?"

Olivia furrowed her brow, "Honey… that was when we were starting… we see you every day now."

"I see Kermit again?"

"No," Olivia shook her head gently, "I'm sorry. Probably not, baby."

Hannah sniffled, tried so hard to hold in her tears, but cried just as hard as ever against her mother's chest, until several minutes later, her eyes slowly drifted shut, her hold on Olivia's shirt, loosened and her cherub lips parted in relaxation.

Olivia cradled her small head in her hand until she could bring a pillow under her daughter. She stood, pulled the comforter over her daughter's body and kissed her cheek softly, "Night, Pumpkin… I'm sorry."

"She'll be okay," Elliot whispered from the doorway and held his hand out to her. "I love you."

Olivia smiled softly, "She's a frog killer, El."

He chuckled softly and walked her down the hallway, "She won't remember… hopefully."

Olivia exhaled "Oh, she'll remember tomorrow… I can assure you."

Elliot smiled softly and pulled her close to him, "I love you."

Olivia grinned and wrapped her arm around his neck, "You said that twice in thirty seconds… what are you up to?"

Elliot smiled softly, "Nothing… wanted to know if you wanted to lay with me on the couch."

"What about dinner?" she smiled softly, "you worked so hard putting the take out on the plates."

He laughed gently and kissed her mouth, "I put Isaac in his bed, Sam is still out… just wanted to spend some time with you, and Solomon is camped out in our room… just me and you, Liv."

She smiled and rested her forehead against his, "Yeah. Yeah, skip dinner. Sounds good."

They laughed softly, kissed each other gently and within moments they were stretched out on the sofa, his arm around her middle as she rested her head on the other. "You okay?" Elliot whispered and kissed her ear softly, "I can feel your heart beat."

"I've got this sexy man behind me… his hands are on me. I think I have a reason for a fast heart rate."

"Yeah?" He smiled and draped his leg over her body, "What does that do to you?"

"Mmmm, only good things, I can assure you."

"Good," he whispered and kissed her neck before lowering his leg. "How was your day?"

"Sam is a lucky little boy… I thought it was really gonna be the end of he and Crystal today."

"What happened?"

She exhaled, "We've got to do something about Sam… where'd he pick up that language? He's been doing well for almost a year now, but… I don't know, every now and again, he's so critical and harsh on himself. He played 'the Wilson' card on me today."

Elliot groaned, "Again?"

"Yeah… I thought I was gonna cream him. It makes me so angry when he does that, Elliot. What am I doing wrong that he doesn't understand how much we love him?"

"Hey," Elliot whispered and rubbed her abdomen softly, "No… it's not that. He's a teenager now, Liv… he's gonna practically kill us both before reality finally sets in. Face it, honey, we're not gonna see the fruits of our labor until he's in his twenties… if we're lucky."

She groaned, "My boys… they're killin' me. I thought it was the girls that were supposed to be trouble."

Elliot smiled, "For me she is. She'll always be. No one will ever be good enough."

"Yeah," Olivia whispered and closed her eyes softly. "We get tomorrow to ourselves, huh?"

"Yeah," he whispered softly and kissed her forehead, "after school, Sam and Isaac and the dynamic duo get to go see Soarin."

"They're gonna love it."

"We're gonna love it," Elliot whispered and stroked her leg softly, "a night, other than date night."

She chuckled, "Yeah, we've had a couple of those lately."

"You complaining'?"

"Absolutely not," she said softly and turned to rest her face in the crook of his neck. "Elliot," she whispered softly.

"Yeah?"

"Have you thought about it?"

"What?"

"You know what… have you?"

He exhaled, kissed her hair softly, "I… I don't want to try something like that-tying you up, without talking to Viv… I don't trust it."

"It. Or me?" she whispered and pulled back to look at him.

"It," he whispered and cupped her face, "and me."

"You?"

He exhaled, "What if I miss it again, Liv? What if I don't see that you don't like it?"

She traced his lips softly with her finger, "I'll tell you if I can't take it."

"Liv," he covered her hand with his and kissed her fingertips, "you didn't tell me last time and… you took my son-"

"I'm sorry," she whispered sadly. "I am, Elliot. If I could do it over-"

"It's just… you have no idea, how it felt to see you run out with Sam in your arms."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be, Liv… it's all in the past, it is. I just… I couldn't take seeing something like that again."

She exhaled, hooked her thumb around so she cradled his hand and brought it to her lips, "Then we'll wait until we both figure it out. I want to. I think I'm ready to try it, but I'll wait for you."

He exhaled through his nose, closed his eyes and scooted his face closer to hers. His lips pursed to kiss the tip of her nose as their feet tangled together. "You fallin' asleep on this couch with me?" he whispered.

"Yeah," she smiled softly, "at least until Solomon wakes up and comes looking for us."

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Olivia watched Elliot grip the phone and clench his jaw. She leaned against the door frame of the Gym office and watched him quietly, watched the poor phone suffer under the strength of his anger, his grip. She took a deep breath, wondered how his hands could be so cruel with the phone when they were so gentle with her last night.

He'd carried her to the bed after she'd fallen asleep on the couch. And while she normally would have protested, even in her half-asleep-half-awake state, she would have demanded he put her down before he ached or hurt himself, she would have demanded he take his cane with him. Okay, maybe not demanded, but she would have offered him a reminder.

Yet, she didn't because, the moment she felt him slip gentle hands under her body, the moment she felt her husband adjust her weight against his chest, her cheek against his shoulder, she'd felt amazingly beautiful and sexy and wanted and she wasn't going to argue with it. Instead, she smiled softly against the fabric of his shirt, and rested her hand against his shoulder.

His foot steps had been careful, almost calculated and she did every thing in her power to stay still in his arms, to let him have this moment with her that she knew made him feel like his body was normal, made him feel like he was capable of doing the same things he'd done with her before his attack.

He'd been incredibly gentle with her, lowering her softly and carefully to the bed, the lightest kiss placed softly at the corner of her mouth and then he'd backed away completely and before she could fully comprehend what he was doing, sleep had taken away her understanding of anything other than the fact that she had an amazing husband.

An amazing husband, whose anger threatened to shatter the phone receiver if he didn't calm down. Selfishly, the only thing that is registering in her mind is the complete antonym that he can be at times. Here, as she watches his anger build she can only remember the smell of his freshly showered body as he pulled her close to him, her senses still holding her captive in a sleep that she didn't want to give up-well, until his hand slipped into the cotton of her panties.

She'd felt her own gentle smile on her lips before she could even will her eyes to open, so… she opted to keep them closed. She'd felt the first pass of his fingertip against her flesh and because their bodies do what they want, on their own accord without input from their brains… not when it comes to one another, she instinctively moved her leg up closer to her chest, his finger moving lazily over her core, the cool of his chest slowly warming with the heat of her body.

Words hadn't been exchanged, not when the strength of his erection pressed into her body, not when his hand had withdrawn and simply moved the fabric of her now moist panties to the side, not even when he slipped slowly into her body. She'd accepted him, craved him really and instinctively reached back, touching his face and grinning.

He'd shaved his beard completely off. It had taken such a length of time, and while she thought the beard was sexy, while she happily asked him to sit on a countertop when he'd gone down to a goatee one night, and let her lips thank his body; she'd wanted to see a freshly shaven Elliot, confidant again, the man she knew before their life was put on the spin cycle.

And as his body withdrew softly and pushed back into hers with painfully slow movements she took in a soft gasp and moved her bottom back against him.

"Shh, no," he'd whispered into her ear, "no work. Just relax."

Like she was really going to argue with that. She'd done just what he'd asked her to do and that is precisely why, as she stares at him, his cheeks puffing out in anger as he continues to snap over the phone, she is confused. His hands were entirely tender with her last night, as he caressed her breast, his hips moved slowly forward and back, not the frustrated bouncing of his legs, the constant shifting in his office chair. His voice had been smooth, erotic as he whispered to her, bringing her to the peek of pleasure.

She'd almost begged him, "Not yet. Not yet," trying to prolong it, but it was his voice, the warmth of his breath that rolled over the silk of her skin, that had made her toss her head back further if only to feel his breath more, it was the way he cradled her and thrust softly into her body that let her fall apart in his embrace. And it was his lips that kissed her tenderly as she panted that helped her return to reality.

But the man that had brought her into ecstasy last night was a far different creature than the man yelling into the phone. The chords of his neck bulging, not from the labor of thrusting into his wife's body, but from the anger that he was unleashing.

She pushed herself from the door way and closed the door, his voice growling into the receiver and just as she turned around, he'd slammed the phone so forcefully onto the desk, all items had an almost imperceptible jump as the receiver broke, the cordless battery handing only by the red and black battery attachment that it hung from.

He stood and even in his anger his stature was sexy… if not more. His anger had blinded him, had dulled his senses to the fact that she was there, until she wrapped her arms around his waist, her lips kissing him softly through his dress shirt, she felt the muscles in his back twitch, "Problem with the financers?"

He exhaled, covered her hands and brought them to his chest, holding them in place, "No… no that went through, this morning. You all packed? I put together your over night bag, but I wasn't sure if you were doing jeans or suits."

She rested her forehead between his shoulders, "Elliot… is that why you're angry? Because I have to go this week?"

"What?" he shook his head softly, "No. No… I know you have to go. That's the business tycoon in you… who would have guessed that?" he chuckled sadly.

She smiled, squeezed his body in a hug and kissed him again, "You killed the phone… why?"

Elliot exhaled, turned around and cupped her cheek, "You're gorgeous, you know that?" he whispered and kissed her forehead softly, "Have I told you that? How gorgeous you are? Do you know it?"

She furrowed her brow, wrapped her arms tighter around him and whispered, "Who was on the phone… what's wrong?"

"The… that was the lab at the doctor's office."

She pulled back, searched his face, her eyes falling on the mangled scar of his cheek and remembering exactly why they'd done another stupid test when both of them knew exactly what the outcome was going to be. They'd done it for one reason.

Because he wanted another chance.

He wanted to prove to her that he was a man.

Even though she'd known it from the first time his lips touched hers outside of her apartment.

She'd always known it, perhaps before she knew him.

"Test come back?" she asked trying to sound just as cool and collected as the inside of her mind was not.

He exhaled, "No… back up at the lab. It was supposed to take seven to ten days…. today was eleven, so I called."

She blew out a breath. Back up. That's okay. Not good news. Not bad news. Just a back up. "Did they say when?"

He smiled softly, kissed her forehead gently and let his lips linger there for the sole purpose of her not being able to see his eyes when he lied to her, "Should be back by the time you get back."

She smiled, pulled back and kissed him, "I love you."

"I love you, too," he whispered and kissed her mouth. "We better go get the kids so we can get you on that plane, huh?"

She nuzzled her nose against his, "You could fly out with me… join the mile high club together?" she chuckled and was happy to hear his laugh, feel his breath cascade over her skin.

"I think that would send Isaac into orbit… he's already pissed that you're not gonna be here."

She nodded, "You're gonna have your hands full, this week. Especially with him."

He rubbed her back in small circles before sliding them down and caressing her backside, "I hate when you wear these slacks, they don't have back pockets so I can slide my hands into them and feel that cute butt of yours."

She chuckled, "I don't have that problem," she whispered playfully and slipped her hands into his back pockets giving him a gentle squeeze, "I didn't get my penis."

His eyes went wide with shock before he laughed, tossing his head back, "Maybe you'll get the authentic one when you come back home."

She smiled, sipped softly from his lower lip, "Sam hates mayonnaise."

"After four years, I know that," he smiled.

She withdrew a hand, swatted his side playfully, "Then why'd you make his sand which with mayo last time?"

"He said he wouldn't tell!" Elliot laughed and kissed the top of her head, "We better go get them."

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"Do I get a hug?" Olivia crouched low before entering the gate section to catch her plane.

"Mommer… you no come back for long days?" Solomon asked with a perfect pouted lip.

"Oh, honey," Olivia smiled softly and caressed his chubby cheek, "Mommer has to go take care of some stuff and learn some stuff for the gyms… only a few days. I promise, I'll be home and we'll go ice skating just like we planned."

Solomon grinned, "You teach me, Mommer?"

She brought her cheek to his, hugged him tightly, "Yeah, baby. I'll teach you. I love you."

"Mommer?" he whispered, "I tell you my snake's name, and you stay with me?"

Olivia closed her eyes and exhaled, "I'm sorry son. I do want to know his name, but I can't stay. But I'll call every night, and dad got me the cool camera for my computer so I'll see you and you can see me… you'll have fun with Daddy."

He lowered his eyes and began to cry quietly, "But, I want you, too. More."

"I know… and I want you, baby," she whispered and kissed him just in time for Hannah to come charging through, "Hey!" Olivia laughed and looked over her daughter's shoulder as she hugged her tight. Solomon walked back to his father, completely and utterly defeated. Elliot picked him up, held him and watched as Olivia broke another tender heart.

"But who gonna tell'ded me stories in the mornin'?" Hannah asked, resting her arms on her mother's shoulders, "Who gonna wakded me up?"

Olivia smiled, cupped her daughter's cheeks and kissed her forehead, "Your daddy, will. He's got really fun stories to tell you."

"But," Hannah's face fell downcast, her ponytail swinging back and forth as she shook her head frantically, "but, you save my heart," she whispered and placed her mother's hand over her small chest. "You make it better for when I wakies scared."

"Trust me Pumpkin… Daddy is super good at saving someone's heart… he'll be amazing. Give him a chance honey. He's wanted you all to himself for awhile."

Hannah exhaled, "I no want you to goed."

Olivia smiled, kissed her daughter and rubbed her back, "I'll see you tonight on the computer, okay?"

"Not same."

"I know… but…. I love you."

Hannah smiled shortly and returned to her father who still had a very upset Solomon in his arms.

"Dare I ask for a hug from you?" Olivia asked with a small smiled as Isaac sat in a chair, posture anything but well; slouched down, his tie pulled loose, his hair mangled and once bright blue eyes dull and sad.

"Super long time, mom."

"I know," Olivia whispered, "and you know what… I'll probably cry at night, too."

"How come, mom?"

"Cause… I'm gonna miss you guys too, ya know? I love you just as much as you love me, and it's super hard for me to leave you, Isaac. I know you don't understand why," Olivia's voice broke as her eyes pooled, "I know you don't understand a lot of things about me, but do you understand that I love you? That I don't want to leave you? Not for a second?"

"Then why ya goin'?"

"So I can learn and make better decisions for the gyms and make more money so you can have nice clothes and-"

"But," he sniffled and wiped at his eyes, "I don't want nice clothes, I want you. I'm super scared mom. The shower is small and daddy will make me take a shower 'cause he says I'm extra stinky and then I got to go to school and that's super small too, mom, and I want to be with you all the time, 'cause in my dreams I'm not with you and it's so dark and the lady, she's not you."

Olivia froze. Her heart skipped, her skin cooled and heated at the same time. She looked at Elliot whose eyes were just as wide, she turned back to her son, "Baby-what do you see in your dreams?"

"Super dark," he nodded, "then there's a monster's voice and then a princess voice then it's light and I'm wet then it's dark."

She moved to stand, to tell Elliot she wasn't going on this ridiculous trip when the P.A. system cut through and called for her flight. She wasn't even at the gates yet.

"Go," Elliot urged her, "he'll be fine."

"El-"

"Go,"

Olivia exhaled and stood, reaching for her oldest son, "You'll take care of your father?"

Sam smirked, "Don't I always?"

She laughed, ran her knuckled along his cheek, "You're growing up so fast,"

"I eat like a horse, I know."

Olivia grinned and pulled him into a tight hug, "I love you, Samuel… you'll hold the house down?"

"I don't want you to go, Mom."

"I know," she whispered as she continued to hug him, "I know, but I have to."

"Isaac is still a nut job."

She smiled softly, sadly, "I know… but he's your brother. See if you can't crack him, huh?"

He smiled against her neck and pulled back, "We'll be okay, we're men-"

"Which is exactly why I'm afraid!" she laughed, "You have all the numbers on the fridge?"

He tapped his temple, "In my head, you know that."

"I'll miss you."

Sam exhaled sadly, "Don't go mom, stay with us. Me and dad… we're good to you aren't we?"

"Oh, my boy," she whispered and kissed his cheek. "You are amazing to me, you and your dad. I'm leaving for business…. not to get away. Can you understand that?"

"Who will walk with me on Saturday?"

She smiled, "My plane is landing Saturday at 4 in the morning, I'll be there to walk with you."

He nodded softly, "I still don't want you to go."

"I know… and I still don't want to go."

"Liv," Elliot interrupted softly, "you're not gonna make it if you don't move."

She exhaled, kissed Sam's forehead, "I'll talk to you tonight on the computer, baby."

He nodded sadly, "Crystal says to enjoy yourself."

"I won't… not without you guys... how is she?"

"She's still mad at me, but at least she's talking to me, I guess."

"Still mad, huh?"

"Yeah."

"Learn your lesson?" she asked and leaned her forehead against her son's.

"Yeah," Sam exhaled. "Don't go, Mom… who will take me to talk to her?"

Olivia kissed him softly, "You're father is an amazing man, you kids have to give him the same chances you give me and then you'll see it and then you'll want him all the time," she smiled softly, "Honey?"

"Yeah?"

"Crystal loves you. You really flipped her switch, it'll take her awhile but she's trying, honey and that's all that's really important… be patient."

"I don't want you to go and I want her and me to be normal, again."

Olivia smiled and teased him, "That's because you're exactly like me… we want and we want it now."

He laughed then brought his lips to her ear and whispered, "It's gonna get hard Mom. God is gonna ask us to do things we won't want to do… but we can," he whispered and simply walked away.

Elliot handed a bright red, and currently crying Solomon to Sam who quickly began to sooth him as Hannah began to rub her eyes and take in a ragged breath, all children sat on the plastic chairs and waited for their father to pick tell them it was time.

Olivia stared at her oldest son in shock and confusion and then returned her gaze to Elliot and wanted so badly to stay home.

"I don't want you to go," Elliot whispered and kissed her softly, "I want you to stay with me."

"You and the kids practiced the same speech, didn't you?" she teased and kissed him, "I don't want to go either, but-"

"I know… I'm gonna work on Isaac while your gone, try and get him back into reality. Figure out what he's talking about, you know?"

"Yeah," she exhaled, "Keep my kids safe?"

"Always," he whispered, "Think about me?'

"Always," she smiled softly and kissed his mouth, sipped tenderly from his bottom lip, "Always. There's no way around it."

He grinned, ran his tongue quickly over her lips, tasting her and pulling away, "Get going, I've got kids to bribe with ice cream."

"Love you,"

"Love you."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

And because disaster comes in all shapes and sizes, Olivia has finally managed to walk into her hotel room…six hours late. A faulty hydraulic line that made all occupants of the plane exit and wait to be re-routed and re-seated, which for Olivia meant, she didn't get her aisle seat like she has had on every flight she has ever taken.

No, not this time. This time her slender frame was wedged like a sardine between two men, each at least three hundred pounds, the one on her right, seriously lacking in hygiene know how and talking about his desire to fill his parents' gas tank with moth balls, while the one on her left seemed to have a serious congestion problem which meant snorting and sucking and building the fattest loogie possible, only to swallow it and she didn't even want to think about the gas that was passed after the meal was passed out.

She'd given up trying to balance work files and a laptop in the scrunched environment, and while she couldn't see wasting the money to sit first class, right now, she seriously wished she had. She'd tossed her head back and closed her eyes and simply let her thoughts wonder about her children. About her husband. About the mysterious message Sam had delivered completely out of the blue.

It was an extreme pleasure to get off of that plane. Only to be met with the reality that the rent-a-car she'd booked was released to someone else because she was hours late. She just wanted out of the air port. That's all she cared about, so when they offered her the Daewoo Laganza, she went with it, not fully understanding that while she drove, her knees would be up to her chest and her head would hit the liner and there would be a blind spot from hell and the weight of her luggage would threaten to lift the front end of the car off the pavement.

But, it was the bouquet of lily's that were placed in on the nightstand of her modest Hotel room that returned her smile. They were lilies and only one person would know that she loved them. She dropped her bags in the entry hall, closed the door and made her way to them. The scent had lifted her lips into a grin, but it was the note that made her blush.

Call me when you get it. We'll have phone sex. Love you more than you know. – El

She let out a sob of laughter and placed the card on the table before taking a deep breath and grabbing her lap top bag, placing the computer next to the first outlet she found and allowing it to power on and charge. She started to unpack and hang her clothes when she stumbled upon a narrow box, neatly wrapped and secured with a bow and small card. He was spoiling her even though they were on complete opposite sides of the country. How did she ever hit the man-lotto?

She opened the card, her jaw dropped; her eyes went wide as a healthy blush crept up her neck.

You were right, It really is life-like. Dinner and a show? Love you more than you know. –El.

She laughed out-loud, a healthy one, mouth wide, eyes bright and watery as she tossed her head back, and then suddenly she stopped, and realization set it. The web-cam wasn't just so the kids could see her. No, it was for something far more interesting for her and Elliot and as she unwrapped the box and peered down at the perfect replication of her husband's penis she stared at the computer and then back to it and knew exactly what he wanted.

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Elliot stirred from his sleep and peered down at the small shape at the end of his bed, "Rookie?" Elliot furrowed his brows and looked down as Isaac, "What's wrong, Son?" he asked and sat up slowly, "Bad dream?"

"I want Mom," he whispered and wiped at his eyes, "She said she would call us and talk to us."

Elliot exhaled and pulled the blankets back, "Hop in."

"I want her," Isaac began to sob not so much as moving from his position, "I want my mom!"

Elliot moved quickly, picked his son up and brought him close to him, "Hey, buddy, where are you're clothes, huh?"

"It's hot," he whined, "and only my mom knows how to fix the hot."

Elliot held him tighter and laid him softly in the bed, the sheet tucked around his small body, "Son, you're actually cold… get warm."

"I want mom!" Isaac screeched, "She said she call me and she lied! She's gonna be gone again!"

"No," Elliot whispered and stretched out next to him pulling the covers back over him and his small son, "No, do you remember what I told you? Where she is it's a different time so she might call us super late. Remember she called and said she had to get on a different plane? She's just late is all. She loves you, Rookie," Elliot said softly, "she does, I promise you she'll call and I'll wake you up."

Isaac sniffled and snuggled deeper into the blankets, "School is small."

Elliot exhaled. Back to square one.

Damnit.

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"Daddy?" Hannah whispered and tugged on his hand, "Daddy, I want mommy."

Elliot's eyes fluttered open and peered at the clock, "Morning Glory," Elliot said groggily, "Sweetheart, it's still a little early where mom is.. she'll call when she can, I promise."

"Daddy," Hannah whispered softly, "I miss my Mommy."

Elliot groaned and pulled the covers back, "Hop in princess, get warm."

Hannah grinned, "I getted Mama's piwow?"

Elliot smiled, "You can share it with me."

Hannah wedged her slender body between her brother and father, "You miss Mommy, too, Daddy?"

Elliot smiled sleepily and cupped his daughter's cheek, "Yeah, Morning Glory. I don't like it when Mom is gone, either."

"Nightie Daddy," Hannah whispered and snuggled as close to her father as possible and Elliot knew it had nothing to do with getting close to him. It had everything to do with getting more of her mother's pillow.

And just as Hannah's breathing evened out and Isaac sprawled out on his back, and Elliot's eyes began to flutter with sleep he felt another tug on his hand, "Daddy!"

It had to be Solomon because he was the only one who didn't understand the concept of a whisper, "Daddy!"

"Shhh!" Elliot smiled and looked down at him, "Are you nuts? It's late."

Solomon grinned, "I nuts. I want Mommer."

Elliot plopped his head onto the pillow, "Of course you do," he exhaled and pulled back the covers, "Hop-" Solomon didn't wait for the complete invitation, he hopped in, crawled painfully over his father's body, without regard for his sleeping sister or brother and hunted around on his mother's side of the bed until he found what he was looking for. Her NYPD t-shirt she said she'd leave out just for him. And she did.

He pulled it close to him, crawled back over his brother and sister who were so dead to the world they didn't seem bothered by it. He wedged himself between his father and sister, "Daddy, move. I'wan, Mommer's piwow."

Elliot exhaled and moved his head just a touch, letting his nose stay just to the side of the pillow as Solomon snuggled in close, his arm immediately wrapping around his sister before falling fast asleep with his t-shirt just as close.

And exactly one hour later, to Elliot's surprise he felt the pushing and pulling of his shoulder by his oldest son. He didn't open his eyes, "Samuel… there is no room in this bed for a boy your size."

Sam exhaled sadly, "But… Mom always makes room."

"Sam… you're thirteen."

Sam bowed his head, "Mom never cared."

Elliot opened his eyes and smirked, "Go sleep by Isaac, you kick like-"

"A mule, I know."

Elliot exhaled as Sam slipped in on his mother's side of the bed and curled up tight, "Dad?"

"Son?"

"When is mom coming home?"

Elliot looked at the alarm clock, "Not soon enough."

"We're men," Sam whispered, "But without mom… we suck."

Elliot smiled, "You're absolutely right, Sam."

"Night, Dad."

"Night." Elliot exhaled and stared at the ceiling, he'd went from sleeping on his wife's side of the bed, her scent caressing his body into sleep as he laid his head on her pillow, imagined it to be the comfort of her breast, to sleeping on his side of the bed, on the extreme edge of the mattress, his three-year-olds occupying her pillow, and her shirt, his oldest and his terror occupying her space.

He wanted her home.

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Cold water. Not hot. Cold. Apparently, that was all that was available at the hotel, but that was just fine. The weather was hot and sticky and it didn't bother Olivia a bit to walk around naked in her room as she dried her hair with a towel. She stopped only when she saw the blinking light of her cell phone that indicated she'd missed a call.

She yawned, the jetlag, killing her already. Flipping open the cell phone she grinned, she hadn't missed a call, she'd missed a text from Elliot. She opened it and smiled at the picture attached, Elliot and the kids all crammed into the bed, them sound asleep, Elliot with a knowing smirk, his message, "Please call. We miss you."

She grinned dialed the phone and sat naked on her bed.

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He answered it before the first ring could finish, "Hi," he whispered into the phone.

"Hi," she smiled and held her phone up to look at the picture again. "Looks like the kids wanted to sleep with Daddy, huh?"

"Hardly," he chuckled and turned to his side to look at them. "They wanted, Mommy and this was as close as they could get."

She laughed, "I got your flowers… they're beautiful, thank you."

Elliot grinned and stood, adjusting the covers over the children and softly walking out of the room and into the hallway, "What else did you get of mine?"

"You've got a ridiculous grin on your face, right now, don't you?" she laughed and slipped into the cool of her sheets.

"I do… you're biting your bottom lip, aren't you?"

She grinned, let her lip fall from the grip of her teeth and pulled the covers over her breast, "My flight was miserable."

He smiled and leaned back in his chair, "Did you unpack?"

"Yeah… when did you have time? I wanted to do it with you," she said softly.

He powered his computer on and blushed, "It's pretty life-like isn't it?"

"Mmmm, bigger in real life."

He laughed aloud, "Ego stroke."

"Elliot?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm exhausted, tonight," she said softly, "But, I also noticed you packed me some of those condoms I like…nice."

He smiled softly, shut down his computer and exhaled, "I better let you sleep then."

"Tomorrow night? You. Me. Phone sex?"

"With web cam?"

She chuckled softly, "Yeah… sounds like a date… which in its self sounds odd."

"We're wanting to try new things," Elliot said softly. "This is new."

"Yeah, it is… can you wake the kids? Or hold the phone to their ears, I told them I'd call."

He smiled, lugged himself back into the room and sat softly on the bed, "Hey sweetheart," Elliot whispered into Hannah's ear, "Mom is on th-"

"Mommer!" Solomon yelled and immediately sat up climbing into Elliot's lap, reaching for the phone.

"Mom?" Isaac grumbled and rolled over, "I want to talk to mom."

"Mom!" Sam grinned, "Mom, you're home?"

Elliot smiled, "No, son… she's on the phone."

"Elliot," Olivia's voice rang through the receiver, "Honey, put me on speaker phone."

Elliot pushed the button and watched as his kids moved around the bed like ravenous dogs having been thrown a bone, "Mommer!"

"Hey, honey! Hi kids!" She smiled into the phone, "I miss you guys."

"I got my shirt!" Solomon yelled into the phone.

"And I gotted to sleep on your piwow," Hannah giggled into the phone.

"When you coming home?" Isaac asked into the phone.

"Baby, I've only been gone a few hours. I just wanted to call and tell you guys good night."

"But," Sam exhaled, "Mom… come home, it's going to get hard here."

Elliot furrowed his brows and looked at Sam who was oblivious to his stare.

"Honey," Olivia's voice dropped, "why are you being so cryptic?"

Sam exhaled, stood and shook his head, "Just come home! Please! My stomach hurts and I want you home. I need you home!"

"Hon-"

"Ah!" Sam growled, "Never mind!" he snapped and walked out of the room.

"Did he walk away?" Olivia asked.

"He a gonner, mommy." Hannah said sadly, "He sad."

"I know honey… Elliot will you-"

"I'll talk to him tomorrow."

"Thank you… I love you guys… sleep tight and be nice to daddy, okay?"

"Bye mom! Love you!" The kids sang in unison.

"I love you, Liv," Elliot whispered into the phone.

"Love you, too. Night, Elliot."

"Night."

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"Alex!" Elliot grinned, "Thanks for coming."

"We'll… he's still on my roster. Still care about him, and he's my nephew."

"Well, he's very pissed off," Elliot exhaled, "Liv is supposed to be home in two days and she's going to flip her lid when she finds out I haven't been able to get Isaac to class since she left."

Alex smiled and stepped past him, "Where is he?"

"His room."

"What happened?"

"I was trying to get him ready… we went over his alphabet with the flashcards Liv made for him and then when I asked him to do it again with the school flash card he flipped out on me."

Alex exhaled and slipped into the kitchen chair, "They want me to put him in a diagnostic class." she whispered, "I haven't told, Oliviai…but, if we can't get him settled, Elliot… that's where he's going."

"What's that?"

Alex groaned and rubbed her temple, "Well… Olivia gave us permission to test him… he's a smart little boy. No special ed concerns but… Elliot, the school psychologist is-"

"School shrink?" he asked and sat across from her as Hannah peeked around the corner.

"Auntie Al!"

"Hey, you!" Alex grinned, "Come here!"

Hannah ran to Alex and quickly jumped into her lap, a kiss and hug given, "You come here to make fart knocker better?"

"Here to give him his homework and talk to your father. Thomas is waiting for me."

"I like Thomas." Hannah smiled, "Mom really likes him, too. She no here. She far away, but not like Kermit," she bowed her head and exhaled, "Kermit a gonner."

"Oh, I'm sorry," Alex whispered softly and kissed Hannah's cheek. "Can you go play and give us a few minutes?"

Hannah grinned, "I go tease Solo?"

"Sounds good to me," Alex laughed and helped her off of her lap.

"Alex?" Elliot exhaled, "What's a diagnostic?"

"He'd be there for 60 to 90 days. It's a classroom, but the teachers are specialist-"

"Specialist? For what?"

Alex tilted her head, "Elliot… he goes ballistic whenever he goes into a time out. He won't work. He won't advance if he refuses to work."

"Specialist for what?" Elliot whispered, "Tell me."

"They diagnose, ED children-"

"Emotional disturbances?"

"Among other things… but, they could also say he's an average five year old who has an extreme disdain for school."

"You think this is best for him?"

Alex pinched the bridge of her nose, "I've had a behavior team come in and observe him, I've had more experienced colleagues come in… they all rec-"

"I don't care about them… what are you telling me?"

She exhaled, tilted her head, "I think we should wait until Olivia gets back and then seriously consider it."

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And because Disaster comes in all shapes an sizes Elliot has learned to prepare himself for everything, but still has not learned that the very thing he doesn't prepare himself for, is the very thing that will arise and knock him off center. Deter him from his course.

Strain his marriage.

He flips quickly through the mail, glances up at the clock and decides he has five minutes before he has to wake up Isaac who was sent home early from school and then go pick up Solo and Hannah from the gym day care and lastly he needed to pick up Sam who has been camped out, religiously at Crystal's house.

There has been no phone sex.

Elliot has been spread thinner than the ribbed condoms he's packed for his wife to add to her fun while she's away, and the kids have not offered him a reprieve. Nothing. No grace and surely there has been no mercy.

Not after he put Mayonnaise on Sam's sand which. Oops.

There has been no mercy when Isaac refuses to get in the shower, there has been no mercy every morning that Hannah asks if Kermit has come back and there has been no mercy when Solomon cries every night at one o'clock in the morning for his mother to take him potty because it's extra scary.

Olivia has kept her promise and called nightly, the entire family has been able to see each other or at least hear one another, but for Elliot and Olivia it hasn't gone any further. She has seen his exhaustion and he has seen hers. Navigating an unfamiliar city, dealing with the angst of being from home, the complexity of the business she found herself in, it all bore a worried expression on her face as well, and so, after the kids fell asleep to the sound of their mother's voice and Elliot quickly puts them in their beds, they have stayed up and talked about everything and nothing but he has never told her that Isaac is getting increasingly worse.

But, as he flips through the mail, there is one return address that catches his eye and he is instantly enraged. He pulls the letter from the pack and opens it in anger, just has he has done to the four others that have come to their home in the last three months. He reads it, curses out loud that the man still has the audacity to want to see his wife.

He takes the stupid cane he's walked with all morning because he managed to trip over a pair of shoes left out and now he's so sore he can't see straight, and he struggles down the hallway to their bedroom and opens the top drawer to his nightstand and places the letter in his bible with the others before closing it and telling him self that Olivia would never want to know about them anyway.

He stands to his feet slowly and is just about to make it out of the front door of his home when his cell phone rings.

"Hello? This is Elliot."

"Mr. Stabler?" The familiar voice chimes in, "We have the results of your lab test."

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"How have you been feeling?" Sam asked softly as the warm sun flooded over he and Crystal's bodies while they laid on the grace of her back yard.

"Okay… little, pain but at least I'm moving around, right?"

Sam smiled softly, "Right," he paused for a short moment and turned to her, "Have you seen your face, yet?... I'm sorry. That was stupi-"

"It's okay," she said and gently touched his forearm. "I'm not offended."

"I can be a jerk."

"This is true… but, it was an innocent question. I haven't taken the gauze off… part of me doesn't want to see it."

"Why? I thought that was the reason you did it."

"It was," she admitted and sat up slowly before standing, "Your father will be here soon."

Sam stood and felt for her, instantly taking hold of her hand and stepping closer to her, "Please forgive me."

Crystal squeezed his hand gently, "I already did, Samuel… it's over."

"Then, please… I want us back to normal."

"We are normal, well at least I am," she smiled and touched his face, "that was a joke."

Her touch on his skin felt entirely different than it had ever felt before and suddenly, his heart beat just a little faster and Samuel Stabler was nervous around his best friend, "I've never apologized for asking a question."

"Then don't start now, silly… it was fine."

He furrowed his brow, "Let me…"

"Let you what?" she asked peering up into his face that, while his eyes would never look solely into hers, his face always would. She always knew when he was thinking and focusing only on her.

He licked his lips, he was too close to her. It was weird, suddenly, the way they were, but instead of stepping back, he stepped closer, "Let me, take off the bandages… I'll tell you how beautiful you are."

If he could see, he'd see an intense blush crawl up her neck, something that has never happened to her. Something that his words had never had the power of doing, until this sudden shift as they stood outside of her mother and father's house, the warm sun lowering slowly as the day crept on, the smell of freshly cut lawn hitting Sam's nostrils but having no competition with the scent of Crystal that was so ingrained into his memory, nothing could ever take it away.

"I want," he touched her cheek that he knew was unbandaged softly, "I want to feel you."

She smiled bashfully, remembered Sam who has stuck up for her the very first day he saw her and every other day after that even when it meant he would be teased. At thirteen years old, she knows him like they've been friends for forty or fifty years, she knows his frustrations, she knows his fears and she knows that sly smile he has, but most importantly she knows his heart.

Knows that beyond all the anger he occasionally has, he is abundantly pure.

"Okay," Crystal whispered softly, "but… maybe not outside. I'd like to see it and there isn't a mirror out here."

He nodded softly, "Kay… where?"

"Come on," Crystal smiled and took his hand leading him back into their home.

She'd never done that. Sure she's led him before, but more along the lines of a sighted person leading a blind person. Today, she has taken his hand, not his elbow. She has taken his hand, laced her fingers with his and walked him into her home, into what he knows from their path is the restroom.

He feels a discomfort in his crotch.

"Maybe, you could just change the bandage, huh? My mom does it three times a day, so, I know how to do it too, I'll help you."

"Okay," he nodded and waited for her. Sam could hear the rustling of bandage packaging, could smell ointment but couldn't identify why his pants were getting more uncomfortable, and worse yet, the more uncomfortable they got the closer her wanted to get to her.

"Here," she said softly and brought his hand to her bandaged cheek, "careful, it's sore, but… peel it softly."

"Stitches?"

"Taken out this morning. Most of it is the skin graph though."

He bit his bottom lip and heard the adhesive part with her skin, heard her hiss, "I'm sorry."

"No, just go." she encouraged him and he suddenly felt her hand on his hip.

His penis jumped. He swallowed but couldn't stop touching her. Couldn't walk away and didn't know what he was supposed to do. "Here," he whispered when he finally removed the bandaged.

She took it and placed it on the counter avoiding the mirror, "Is it bad?"

Sam smirked, "Don't know. I'm blind, remember."

"Punkus."

He chuckled and then quieted himself and slowly raised his hand to touch her face. He felt her pull back at his touch and then still for him to touch her skin again. He felt the rise and fall of the scar, felt the texture of the graphed skin, wondered momentarily if he should even be touching it, but his crotch was doing things that were so confusing.

He felt the smoothness of her cheek, traced further down and crossed back over the scar, wanting so badly to touch her lips with his fingers and he couldn't understand why. He's never wanted to do that. It sounded silly really but that was what his crotch was telling him to do.

Crystal saw the expression on his face, felt his breath fall faster over her adolescent features, "Am… I that ugly that I scare you now?"

He stilled instantly, for a moment he was happy his pants were loosening up, but he certainly didn't like what she'd just said, "You're Crystal. Magnificent."

She chuckled, "Can you spell that?"

He smirked, "Probably not, but… you're so pretty, Crystal. I'm sorry I was mean to you about the surgery and I'm not saying you weren't pretty before the surgery, I'm saying that you're still pretty."

She smiled and sniffled before bowing her head.

He furrowed his brows, "Hey? Why are you crying?"

She looked up, sniffled again, "I just… needed to know that you weren't gonna run scared. That you would still see me as me."

Slowly, he touched her face again and her hand returned to his side. Timidly, he obeyed his pants and traced her skin until he felt her lips and he's not sure he's ever felt something so soft, "I want to kiss you," he blurted and then dropped his hand and groaned. He took a step back.

Crystal saw his embarrassment and smiled, "Don't be embarrassed."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't' be sorry."

"I just-"

"You asked me for something," she smiled and raised up on her tiptoes, kissing the corner of his mouth.

Sam gasped, his brows raised instantly and his mouth opened turning directly to her lips and pressing his against hers. Her lower lip rested in the crevice of his and he tasted her. His hands immediately resting on her hips and suddenly he realizes exactly why his mom and dad do this, but he still doesn't understand why his penis is acting more like an AT &T customer and trying to reach out and 'touch' her.

Crystal pulled back first, his stunned expression still very evident. She smiled, "Open your mouth."

"Huh? Why-" and before Sam could finish asking why she wanted his mouth open she'd closed her lips over his and passed her tongue gently into the pureness of his mouth.

He pulled back immediately and blushed furiously, his fingertips digging into her.

"What's wrong?" she whispered, "I thought you wanted to try this?"

"I do," he nodded trying to figure out how to exhale, "But... Crystal, I don't…exactly know what to do."

She shrugged, "Either do I, but I see it on my mom's shows sometimes… they stick their tongues in each other's mouths and move side to side."

He understood, breathed in, but his body was failing him on breathing out and what was worse was that his penis was throbbing like it never had been before, "Okay," he nodded softly and finally exhaled.

Samuel felt her lips against his and he felt her hot breath, smelled the Kool-Aide they'd just consumed outside and timidly pushed his tongue into her mouth. He actually felt her smile around him and it made his crotch hurt even more. There was spit everywhere between the two of them but he wanted to touch her the world over. He's never considered, not for one second what could be under her t-shirt, but as he thought and wondered about it, for just a moment, as she cupped his cheek in his hand, his hips suddenly lurched and he felt a wetness against the fabric of his boxers that he'd never felt before.

He stumbled back, hit his head on the towel hook that told him he needed to turn left to get out. He was so frantic, and suddenly abundantly scared.

"Samuel?" Crystal furrowed her brow, "I'm sor-"

"I have to go," he shook his head and bolted, running into the closed door and smacking his nose hard against it. He felt the blood as he opened the door and ran.

"Sam?" Crystal's father met him at the end of the hall, "your father just pul-"

"I'm sorry!" Sam yelled in distress and fumbled for his things running haphazardly outside and down the porch where he stumbled and fell. He stood, tripped over the strap of his book bag and fell again, only into his father's arms this time.

"Hey!" Elliot said softly, "What happened? What's the matter?"

"Dad!" Sam shook his head, tears and blood and dirt mixing on his features, "Dad, we have to go! "

"Sam-"

"Please!" Sam pleaded and in moments Elliot had him in the car and they were pulling out onto the road.

"Sam?" Elliot said softly, "What happened? Did you and Crystal get into it again? Did her parents hurt you?"

Sam shook his head and shifted in his seat, "No," he cried, "No. I just want to go home and go to sleep."

Elliot exhaled, "Okay."

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"Why are we going to Aunt Casey's?" Sam asked softly, "Why are you upset, Dad?"

"I'm not upset, Sam."

"Yes you are. Was it because I was scared?"

"No."

"Was it because Crystal's parents called you?"

"No," Elliot exhaled, "I just…. I don't know."

Sam furrowed his brows, "Dad… I need you. Please don't make us go away tonight, Mom isn't here and I'm scared."

Selfishly, all Elliot had floating around in his head, was not the fact that Sam was terrified, it was not the fact that Isaac had vomited all over the house or even that Solomon and Hannah had snuggled in the same bed, no, all Elliot had floating in his mind was the diagnoses the doctor had given him before he picked up his kids.

He'd never get her pregnant. They'd never have another child.

"Sam, you'll do fine with Uncle Paul and Aunt Casey, they are looking forward to seeing you today and I just… I need some space."

"Space?" Sam shook his head, "Mom never needs space-"

"I'M NOT YOUR MOTHER!" Elliot suddenly snapped, "Give me a break here!"

Sam's face twisted in confusion and anger, "I know your not! 'Cause mom actually gives a damn about me!" he hollered and slid out of the car, "Come on, guys,' he snapped and helped his sister from her car seat, placing her on the cement.

Elliot groaned and rested his forehead on the steering wheel, "I'm sorry, Sam."

"No you're not," Sam's voice broke as he helped the rest out of the vehicle, "Isaac, help me out, I need the front door."

"Sam!" Elliot hollered from the car and quickly got out.

"Just go get your space!" Sam screeched, "I don't need you!"

"Samuel! That's enough!"

"Yeah, Sammy," Hannah giggled and followed him up the path only to be met by Paul who stepped out of the house in confusion.

"Did you just yell at your father?" He asked Sam firmly.

"Who cares?" Sam barked, "He doesn't. He misses my swim meets and all he does is yell now, and I want him," Sam began to cry and reached out for Paul, "and he doesn't want me uncle Paul."

Paul rubbed Sam's back softly as Casey finally made her way to the group and looked on in confusion. Elliot ran his hand through his hair and shook his head in defeat, "Sam-"

"Make him go away, Uncle Paul," Sam whispered and hugged him tighter, "Please?"

Elliot approached the group and Paul felt Sam shake, "It's Okay, Elliot…we've got it. We'll give you a call, huh?" he said in an effort to sooth everyone.

Elliot visibly deflated and dropped the bag of clothes he'd brought for the visit, "Sam," Elliot said softly, "I'm sorry, Son."

Sam released his hold on Paul and sidestepped him into the home and out of his father's sight.

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How is it possible to get sandwiched between two much larger people on the return flight as well? That is what Olivia would like to know, but what she would really like to know was why she received a phone call from a frantic Samuel at one O'clock in the morning from the Novak's house and not their own. What she'd really like to know is why Elliot hadn't picked up his phone or the house phone or the office phone or why Santos hasn't seen him in two days or why he didn't meet her on the computer the last two days.

All she knows is that the plane is not landing fast enough.

But what she also knows is that disaster comes in all shapes and sizes and she's not sure what's going on, but it's not good. The last time Elliot didn't answer his phone she almost never saw him again.

"You okay, lady?" A rather large and hairy man asked her.

"Fine."

"You don't look fine."

"Thanks. I appreciate that… look when we land, do you mind if I cut?"

He smiled, "With a body like that… I don't mind you being in front."

She narrowed her eyes at him, "On a typical day I'd cut your balls off and feed them to you."

He laughed out loud, "Thank goodness you're having a crappy day then, huh?"

She arched a brow and then leveled it, "Your lucky day."

And within minutes the plane had landed and she'd did exactly what she said she would, cut him and then the person in front of that and then the next, anything to get out of the plane faster and figure out what in the hell was going on. She'd called Alex who said she'd talked to Elliot and he seemed fine. She called the Novak's back after Sam had been less than forthcoming about his hysteria and they'd encouraged her to come home as soon as possible. To get to Elliot as soon as possible.

That concerned her but didn't necessarily freak her until they told her not to waste time by coming for the kids, but to get to the house.

To call a cab because Elliot wouldn't be getting her from the airport.

She'd tossed the suitcases into the back of the cab like a man tosses hay and told the cabbie the address. She called the house time and time again, slamming the phone shut each time Elliot didn't pick up before growling loud enough in frustration that the cabbie glanced into the rear view mirror, "You okay?"

"Just drive," she muttered and was relieved when they'd finally pulled into her driveway. She'd dropped him every cent she had on her unconcerned with the amount and grabbed her luggage before stopping at the front door, that wasn't closed. Quietly, she placed her luggage on the floor and carefully stepped into her home, staying close to the wall.

White flashed into her memory, then Ganzner, could he still be alive? Could Oliver come? Could he have been released and she didn't know? She took a deep breath, cleared the hall with a vase in her hand as her only weapon and then frowned when she caught the smell of vomit. She lowered the vase, returned it to it's stand and furrowed her brow, no sign of Elliot.

"El?" she called into the house and made her way to the kitchen, "Elliot? What's going on? You were supposed to pick me up and yo-" she stopped when she came to the crumpled up letter on the counter, it's letter head from the doctor's office. No envelope, it must have been given to him instead of mailed.

She exhaled, straightened it out and read the lab results. She closed her eyes and suddenly everything was perfectly clear as to why she couldn't reach him and why their kids were somewhere else.

Safe.

"Elliot?" she called again into the house and made her way through the hall the smell of vomit becoming stronger until she stepped into their room, or should she say their war zone.

Every picture had been torn from the wall, shards of glass lay scattered over the brown of the hard wood floor. The nightstands over turned, his cane stuck in the wall. Bottles of liquor strewn about the room.

Empty.

Dresser contents pulled out and thrown here and there, and the only thing that seemed to not have endured his wrath was the small poem she'd given him the day they were married.

She wanted to kill him with everything she had. She wanted to drag his drunk butt right off of that bed, drag his naked body over every last shard of glass and then beat the crap out of him with his cane just as soon as she pulled it out of the wall.

How in the hell do you get a cane to stick inside of a wall, anyway?

She ran her hands through her hair, not sure what to do. This was not what she was expecting to come home to. Just Wednesday she'd dreamed they had sex the moment he picked her up from the airport and got her into the truck.

How was she supposed to plan for this?

Carefully, she walked to the bed, the glass crunching and snapping under the weight of her steps and just before as she finally decides she's not going to be quiet about it this time, she sees his body. Naked and scarred and different form the man she married. She sees the surgery used to reconstruct his cheek, sees the mangled legs and lines of exploratory surgery over his torso and she understands in a second, his fury.

Olivia exhaled and rested her hand on his naval, moving slowly up to his chest as she leaned down and kissed the battered flesh of his cheek, "Wake up, Elliot," she whispered keeping her voice in check, "Wake up, baby. Got to get you in the shower."

He grumbled and moved to roll. She held his shoulder, "No. No, just open your eyes," she said softly and kissed his cheek again. His eyes fluttered open and he groaned once her face was in focus. He was so dead.

"Crappy, night?" she smiled compassionately, "I thought my week was rough."

He furrowed his brows and she saw the complete loss of hope in his eyes, the complete sense of brokenness and self hate, "Scoot over," she whispered softly and climbed into bed beside him without care of her clothing or shoes. He moved to roll away and she simply wrapped her arms around him and held him firmly against her body, "I love you."

And that was all it took to destroy him.

He covered her hands with his, held them tight to his chest and simply sobbed has hard and as brokenly as Sam had cried when he called her. Olivia kissed his shoulder adoringly and exhaled "I saw the paper. It doesn't mean you're less of a man, Elliot. It doesn't I promise you."

But her promise had no power to fix his hurt. Not tonight.

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"Wake up, Elliot." Olivia whispered into his ear and rubbed his chest, "We need to get ready."

He muttered in his sleep, "Not going anywhere."

She exhaled, stood and heard the glass crunch under her again, "I called Casey and Paul, they're keeping the kids for another day. You need to get up, I'll help you get ready but you're going to an A.A. meeting today, and while your there I need to go talk to Sam, what is he all fired up about? Was he here for all of this?" she asked waving to what was left of the room.

"No," Elliot exhaled and sat slowly, his head pounding, "I yelled at him, Liv… I'm so sorry."

She turned to him and saw the fresh tears make their way down his cheek, "I think," she said softly and sat next to him, her hand on his naked thigh, "that it will be more meaningful if you said it to him."

"I called last night," Elliot exhaled, "Liv, he wants nothing to do with me."

She smirked, "He said you put mayo on his sandwich."

He pinched the bridge of his nose and struggled not to sob, "He needed me and I pushed him away, he pleaded to stay home with me, he was so upset."

Olivia tilted her head and continued to listen to him mumble about the kids, about the lab test and her and the house before she covered his mouth with her palm, "Shhh," she whispered and kissed his forehead, "It'll be okay. Just a speed bump. Sam is Sam, you know he has to really think things through."

Elliot exhaled and stood before she could tell him not to. He groaned in pain and instantly went back to the bed, his feet dripping in fresh blood.

"There's glass all over," she said softly and stood, taking his foot in hand and pulling gently at a shard of glass before retrieving another two from his other foot and handing him slippers, "Go shower, I'll bring you towels and then we'll go."

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Olivia gripped the steering wheel of the SUV waiting for him to come outside. She was trying so hard to approach this breakdown a different way. To not repeat their last mistakes. To not kill him.

He stumbled out of the house. Shrinking back and wincing at the sunlight and trying to steady himself on his feet without the help of a cane. He slid slowly into the passenger side of the car and held his breath as she began to pull out.

He exhaled in relief when she pulled out onto the road and reached over to him, covering his hand with hers, "Why didn't you call me?"

"Why aren't you yelling?" he asked softly.

She squeezed his hand gently, "That doesn't get us very far. You need me right now. I'm angry, yeah, but in a different way."

"I'm sorry."

"Prove it to me," she whispered, "make this right. Whatever happened with you and Sam, make it right tomorrow-"

"Tomorrow?"

She exhaled and still held his hand, "The alcohol is still on you… they don't deserve that. I won't let them around you like this, I'm sorry. I love you. I'll stand next to you and get you the help you need, but I won't put them through this."

He nodded shamefully, "You're right."

"It's not about being right," she whispered as she continued to drive. "I'm in love with you Elliot. You're mine, everything about you. Even the alcohol. I had it wrong last time. I walked away because I couldn't believe you were doing that to me, but I had it wrong. You're doing this to yourself. I'll stand next to you. I'll take you to meeting after meeting and I'll help you make it right with Sam, but ultimately, it's up to you if you're getting better. We're strong, right now Elliot, we're doing well. The ball is in your court."

He exhaled, kissed her hand in his, "I woke up in the middle of the night and I saw you and I thought I had to be dreaming, because… I thought for sure, you'd be gone."

She pulled the car over to the side of the road and turned off the ignition before cupping his face and kissing his lips softly, "For better or worse… we made that deal twice. You didn't turn your back on me when Casey pulled me out of a bar-"

"That was a one time deal."

"So, then make this a one time deal," she said softly, "Make this the last time."

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"Mommer!" Solomon yelled in sheer happiness and bolted from the couch followed by a giggling Hannah and to Olivia's surprise a grinning Isaac.

"Mom!" Isaac hugged her tightly, "Missed you!"

"Missed you all, too!" she laughed and kneeled, "Wow, Solo, you must have grown a whole foot!"

"I big, boy," he said proudly.

"Eat's like Sam," Casey smiled softly from the hall, "How are you?"

Olivia took a deep breath as Paul excused himself from their company, "Fine. Elliot is at a meeting."

Casey nodded, "I didn't ask about him. How are you?"

Olivia smiled softly, "It's just a rough spot Casey. We'll make it."

"Good," Casey smiled and closed the gap to hug her tightly, "Sam is in the room with Addison, they're both asleep."

"Can I wake him?"

"Sure, your kid. Your grumpiness."

Olivia smiled softly, "Bad, huh?"

"Not good."

"Nice."

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"Samuel?" Olivia whispered and kissed his forehead as Addison's breathing rhythmically continued form his small twin bed.

Sam's eyes slowly opened and he smiled, "Mom? You came."

"Yeah," she whispered and ran her hand through his hair, "Aunt Casey said you weren't a happy camper."

"Don't want to really talk about it."

"Okay," she whispered softly, "Mind if I stretch out next to you?"

He moved over and made a space for her, "Mom?"

"Yeah honey?"

"Why doesn't Dad love me like he used to?"