Ch. 6
The next day we boarded our plane and headed to Canada. I told Cat to pretend we are engaged so we can sit by each other on the plane. She laughs when I tell her this but goes along with it. "Congrats," chimes one of the TSA morons. Do they really think we are engaged? I guess they do -Whatever allows me to sit beside Cat. She doesn't even ask me- as soon as we sit down her head finds its way into my lap and then on my shoulder. We watch airplane movies to pass the time. Nothing good is playing so we decide to laugh it off with the Big Bang Theory. When we finally land Cat says, "This is my first time out of the States." "Really I thought you have been to Mexico. Oh well I am glad your first time to another country is with me. And I have dual citizenship so I can live in either the U.S or Canada!" I am so proud to be Canadian- it may seem silly but when people ask if I am American I am almost offended. But then I remember that I am a citizen of two countries. For some reason this fascinates Cat. "So if you lived on the border of Washington State and Canada which country would you pay taxes to?" "It doesn't work like that Cat. I can't believe you just asked me that," I am then interrupted by a familiar voice, "Hey Beck, long time no see. And who's this cute little lady with you?" Asked Moose who was very interested in Cat and is about three times larger than when I last saw him. I then had to do one of those hands off gestures that guys do-"She's my girlfriend Moose," I say quickly. Cat seemed perfectly fine and agreed with me. "Ah nice one dude! She is so cute I could eat her up!" "Well please don't- you sound like a creepy cannibal!" I say wondering if Moose was going to try and take Cat from me this weekend. "So where's that Tori chick you always spoke about? You know the hot chick with the long brown hair. I remember you would come for the weekend and talk story about that girl. Never thought you'd get over her bro!" Wow Moose just sounded like an ass and made Cat very unnerved in the process. "Yeah I am over that Tori girl! Her fiancé just died anyways. You know Andre- he died in the war. But I don't really want to talk about that now." Moose stopped talking, "Well I am sorry for your loss bro. And if I can do anything let me know." We climbed into his car and he drove around. The Yukon was different than I remembered it with more trees and greenery everywhere. "I have a nice cabin in the woods for you two love birds- I sure hope you enjoy yourselves!" When we arrive on the camp grounds I see a never ending dirt road in a valley of trees. Many hiking trails can be seen for miles and miles. And the mountains have snow on the tops of them. I hope we can go skiing in those snow caps and I hope I can introduce Cat to a snow ghost. When the snow freezes over entire pine tree forests that's called a snow ghost! I miss my country so much it is nice to be apart of Canada once more. When I come back to this I wonder why I ever moved to California. I look at Cat and her eyes are bright and filled with exploration and childlike excitement. I turn around and see a small log cabin. I know it's for us and it's perfect. It has a porch facing the mountain sunset and a hot tub shaped like a heart. Without Cat's knowledge I have pre-ordered champagne for the two of us. I hope this counts as a romantic getaway. I need Cat to know that I mean business this time if I am going to win her affections back. Cat and I finally get to our cabin and she sees the champagne sitting beside the hot tub.
"Beck, you were thinking of more than just inviting your best friend over for a weekend getaway. This is more like a romantic..." "Get away!" I finish for her. "Why are you doing this Beck?" She can't stop blushing- and because she is a red head the color of the blush is more noticeable. "I want you to feel appreciated Cat! And to know that I am trying so hard to make us happen!" "Who says that we aren't an 'us' already Beck?" She glances my way. "Cat I want you to decide that! It's not up to me this time- the last time I screwed us up. The way I always screw up everything. You know I might be a nice guy but everything goes down south for me. I'm destructive. I'm dangerous..I'm I'm..." "Still in love with Tori?" Cat whispers behind me. "What? No..." "Are you sure Beck? Why are we really here?" I look at her and know deep down that some part of me loves them both. "I can't answer you Cat. I told you I ruin everything. I just... I love ...I love...both of you. But I am choosing you this weekend Cat. I am choosing you because you have always been the woman in my life who has been there. The woman I can always look to and hold on to when my life goes to shit. You think for a minute I would have Tori here? No Cat, I just couldn't- not with you in the back of my head. You're always there Cat. And you let me use you for a 'physical release!' Well no more Cat- I just want you to let me try to be yours. Despite slight feelings I may have for Tori- I am here with you. I am doing this for you. I am trying to rescue us- or the us that I believe is somewhere. And maybe you don't want me anymore- that's fine but I just thought if we refocused on us away from Tori... We could start over and could just fall in love again. I just want you Cat- I don't know what else I can say or do to win you back. But if you want me to go then say something. I think you are here this weekend because you believe in us too. You believe we can work and if you didn't believe that then why are you here!? Unless you are here just to watch me screw up again- cause frankly I never say anything right. I don't know how to talk to women- I never say anything right. I am just tired of screwing up in front of you Cat. It embarrasses me..." I am looking down at my feet and I begin to feel sick to my stomach. Luckily Cat finished nursing school in the spring and knows what to do. "Beck, lie down. You aren't screwing up. And thank you for what you said. I do believe in us- I do. I am just timid because I fear you compare me to Tori." "I have never been with Tori- I haven't even kissed the woman. There's nothing to compare." She looks at my face and knows that I am being truthful. "I can always tell when you are lying or telling the truth. It is written in your eyes. And when you say you love me your eyes are honest Beck." "I am honest-I care for you a lot Cat- I love..." "You too!" She interrupts by replying to me. I am lying down now and my head is spinning. A woman has never told me she loves me before- I may have known Cat loved me but hearing it sends me to the moon and back. I have never told a woman that I love them either- and by this time my head is spinning out of control. "Beck, ...I love... you!" This time when she says it her ear is on my heart and she is listening to it beat as a quick drum. My heart has wings like a butterfly and it belongs to her. She lies on top of me and kisses me softly all over my face. I can't control myself anymore; I place my hand under her back and roll myself on top of her. I look down and see beauty gazing up at me. I move slowly toward her face and begin kissing her on the mouth. "Beck, let's have some champagne!" She says while breaking off the kiss. I pour the champagne into two glasses and propose a toast, "To the best friend I have ever and will ever have!" She smiles again,"To the man I love- may you always feel loved by me!" We clink glasses together and drink the champagne slowly together. "You know I might mess this up Cat?" "I know and I might to Beck. But don't let that scare you from trying. And I know you are really trying just look at where we are. For crying out loud you know how to spoil a woman." "Cat you once told me,'its not healthy for you to deny what your heart is telling you. If you love this woman- don't go keeping it to yourself. You have a big heart and I think any women would be lucky to share it with you!' I have to ask did you want to be with me then?" I asked her. "Of course Beck. I always want you - even when you don't want me. So if you decide to go to Tori- it will hurt me but I will understand and still love you. I know that getting in a relationship with you right now is risky- but I want you as long as you'll have me." Awww man I sound like such a douche when she puts it that way. Suddenly there is a knock at the cabin door- we answer it and that's when we see Tori's face standing in the door frame of our cabin!