ZOMG PIT!1
By Hoogiman

Chapter Six: Private Detective

"Are you a good private detective?" asked Link. "Because I think Zelda's going out with Pit."

"Well-a," replied Mario, "I do know some tricks of the trade. Follow me!"

Mario, followed closely behind by Link, snuck into Zelda's room.

"Okay," said Mario, "Let's-a search for any clues for Zelda showing signs of her love for Pit."

Mario looked around, suspiciously.

"Aha!" said Mario, excitedly. "I have-a found a clue!"

Mario looked closer.

"These dozens of posters of Pit half naked, labelled with, 'I LOVE PIT'," said Mario, "could be a sign that Zelda loves Pit."

Link gasped.

Mario opened a diary.

"Aha!" shouted Mario again. "The front page of the diary reads, 'PIT IS HOT', multiple times!"

Link gasped.

"Wow!" said Link. "I'd never think that I'd figure that out! Wow! You're really good!"

Mario sighed.

"Does anyone pay attention in this mansion?" asked Mario, angrily.

Peach ran into the room, and crushed into the wall. However, she didn't notice that the wall was there, so continued to run into the wall.

"A digital-a camera!" said Mario, conspicuously.

Mario picked up the digital camera, and turned it on.

"Pictures of Pit and Zelda together at a romantic restaurant with their hands-a together!" shouted Mario.

Link made a shocked face.

"It all makes sense now!"

FLASHBACK

Link saw Pit and Zelda pashing, outside Pit's room.

"Zelda must be sleepwalking…" said Link.

END FLASHBACK

"So when they were pashing-" said Link, worriedly, "They weren't sleepwalking sort-of pashing, they were pashing, pashing?"

"Yes-a," replied Mario.

"That's it!" said Link. "I have to get Zelda to love me again!"

"I'm teaching my cat to become an online fraudster by setting up a fake lottery website, and then making him e-mail some random addresses, spoofing the names so that the recipient only sees their own address, alert them that they've won the fake lottery and ask for bank details, and then rake in the money and then have a life on the run while being in rich in a foreign country such as Cuba!" said Peach.

…

…

The police came in and arrested Peach.

The cat however, got away clean.

"Aww…"