Chapter 6: We Will Do What We Must

A clammy, cold dampness invaded Siri's sleep. As she woke up, the early morning chill assaulted her face, making her nose tickle. With her hand she rubbed her nose furiously, then sneezed twice. Turning her head around, she glanced quickly back at Obi-Wan. He was lying on his side facing her, his left arm bent under his head as a makeshift pillow and his right hand resting on the ground in front of him. He was still sleeping. Using the sleeve of her already damp tunic, she rubbed her face as best as she could, cleaning off most of the moisture.

"There, that feels a little better," she thought to herself.

She also was on her side, her back to Obi-Wan. She ducked her head deeper into the robe, retreating from the cold and relishing the feel of the warm body pressed next to her. The ground also had a dampness to it, but with the robe tucked tightly around her and Obi-Wan so close, she felt warm enough. She didn't want to move from her cozy cocoon. Obi-Wan shifted slightly in his sleep and his right arm slid around her waist and pulled her closer. She thought for a surprised moment he might have woken up, but shortly realized he was still sleeping and unaware of how intimate their position was.

With a sigh she settled in and was trying to sleep again when she became aware of rustling movements and soft munching. She froze as her eyes slowly opened. She stretched her head slightly and peeked around Obi-Wan's arm to see what new menace threatened.

The morning sunlight peeked frostily through the trees sparkling with diamond droplets. She blinked sleepily toward the soft noise she had heard, then breathed a sigh of relief. Not far from where she and Obi-Wan lay were three large docile beasts; nothing like the frightening creature of the night before. These were four footed beasts with reddish brown coats. Their huge antlers made them look almost lopsided, as though they might topple over. They contentedly stripped the leaves and bark off of the trees and chewed slowly, their teeth lazily grinding the hardness of the bark into mulch before they swallowed. They turned at her slight movement and gazed at her, their large mellow brown eyes staring disinterestedly, then with soft snorts that hung in cloudy puffs in the air, they turned again to the more interesting breakfast in front of them and moved on to another tree.

She watched them for a little while, taking comfort in their gentle grazing with no fear evident in them. She then turned her attention back to Obi-Wan.

She shifted her body, slowly turning so as not to disturb him and soon she was on her back, gazing into his face. His features were relaxed, his brow at ease as long eyelashes rested against his cheeks. She resisted the sudden urge to run her fingers along shapely lips and a chin with an almost irresistible cleft.

She pulled away from him slightly. Something inside her fluttered and she was suddenly disturbed by feelings she suspected had always been there but was now waking up inside of her. She knew she had always cared for him and she knew the code about attachments, but something more was happening here. She wondered if this was what the visions had hinted at so many years ago..this growing feeling inside her, this warmth and fondness for Obi-Wan that she was sure would be against the code if she examined it more closely. This had little to do with hormones, she knew, despite her admiration of his features. This was something deeper, more solid. She knew she would always feel this way about him.

She pondered these strange, new feelings and planned to talk to her master about them. She turned her head away from him and gazed again at the gentle beasts as they sauntered further into the forest. She relaxed again and may have even dozed off when she felt him stir. Fully awake again, she turned her head toward him as with a yawn he blinked sleepily awake. At the sight of beautiful sapphire eyes the nervous flutter returned. She couldn't take her eyes off of him. He was gazing at her with something she had never seen before but which seemed strangely familiar. She hardly dared to breathe; she was sure he could hear the pounding of her heart. Her mind swirled at the absurdity of it all.

Here they were lost in a strange forest, not knowing where their masters were or if they were all right, but somehow she knew all was well. She would not be anywhere else at the moment.

As Obi-Wan continued his silent gaze, she knew he was experiencing the same feelings as she. His eyes grew softer, gentler and was full of that naggingly familiar something.

Then it hit her.

This was the look his older self had gazed at her with in her long ago vision, but then the look was mixed with grief. Now, this same look was mixed with curiosity and wonder. This was the look of love.

He blinked, then sensuous lips broke into a shy grin. His arm which had still been around her now moved slowly up to caress her cheek. He then slowly, hesitantly leaned toward her and gently, almost fearfully touched her lips with his.

The feelings which till now had fluttered mainly in her belly now shot through her, making her feet tingle and her head spin. She gasped as his lips brushed against her cheek then found her mouth again. He hadn't truly kissed her yet, only brushed her mouth with his, his lips slightly parted.

She wanted him to kiss her fully, but was too overcome to speak. Instead her arms reached around him and she grasped his head. As she did so, her earlier thought came back to her, that his had little to do with hormones.

"Yeah, keep telling yourself that," she thought to herself as she pulled him down to her and grabbed his lips with hers. Their kiss was intense and emotional as each explored the other's mouth. Neither wanted it to end, but finally, gasping, they pulled away from each other. Obi-Wan looked at her, his intensely blue eyes wide with a strange mixture of confusion and desire. She could feel his heart pounding with hers, and the force entwined around them. They felt a deep connection form between them and the seeming approval of the force was surprising. This revelation made Obi-Wan's eyes open even wider and Siri wondered at what was happening. They gazed at each other for a few more minutes, still panting, then Obi-Wan sighed and leaned his head against her shoulder.

After several moments, he finally spoke.

"This feels like an attachment," he mumbled into her shoulder.

"Yes." Siri's voice was barely above a whisper.

"Attachments are forbidden."

"Yes." She grasped the back of his head with her fingers, not wanting to hear the obvious conclusion, but knowing she had to.

"We are Jedi, we can't do this."

"I know." She let go of him, then lightly stroked his hair.

Obi-Wan finally looked up into her face, his eyes so blue only moments ago now almost gray, a mixture of love, despair and confusion swirling in them.

"Then why does this feel right? Why do I sense the force's approval?"

Siri thought about Yoda's words from years ago. She said, "Much we know about the force, but everything we do not know. Yoda said that to me one time."

"What are we to do then? I can't deny the feelings I have for you, nor can I deny the connection I feel with you."

"I can't deny my feelings for you either, Obi-Wan. What we will do is be the best Jedi we can be. Continue to do what we need to do." Siri was never more sure of anything in her life, although it broke her heart to speak it at the moment. It meant that this moment was passing, that it was too soon. For what she wasn't sure. This was something the force was doing and she knew it had something to do with her visions. Someday the time would come and then she would know.

He was now gazing at her steadily. She fought back tears and smiled softly, stroking his face with her hand. She noticed the light, soft stubble on his chin and ran her fingers over it. He took her hand and kissed it softly.

"Can we be Jedi, knowing and feeling what we do?" he asked, his eyes moist and troubled.

"Yes," Siri nodded adamantly. "I believe the force has connected us for a reason which will be made known later. For now, we will do what we must. And we must be Jedi."

Obi-Wan nodded. He shook himself and sat up and Siri sat up with him. He was quiet for awhile, meditating lightly. She could feel him sending his feelings into the force. He finally opened his eyes and nodded again.

"You're right." He grinned at her hopefully. "To be with you as a Jedi is enough...I think."

"Yes. For now," she whispered softly. She wasn't sure Obi-Wan heard her, but he suddenly stood up and stretched, then smiled at her.

"Well, then lets make a fire and get warm, and eat something..." Obi-Wan suddenly stopped, listening.

"It's Master. He's trying to find me." Obi-Wan stood still for a moment longer, then looked at Siri and smiled.

"I sent him a message that we are all right and somewhere in the woods. He's using our bond to find us. Master Adi is with him. He said to wait here."

Siri nodded, relief lighting her face. "I know. I felt Master Adi too. She's safe."

Happily, Siri jumped up and helped Obi-Wan gather sticks and kindling.

A small fire was soon blazing, warming them against the chill still in the air. They ate protein bars Obi-Wan had in his robe and drank some water from his canteen.

"By the way, besides my robe I'm also missing my lightsaber," Siri said worriedly. "I was knocked out and likely dropped it close to where we were fighting them. We did so much running in the dark, I don't... "

"Oh, yeah!" Obi-Wan stood and reached under his robe.

"Your lightsaber, milady," he announced, unclipping it from his waist and handing it to her.

"You found it? Why didn't you give it to me before?" Siri enjoyed the feel and weight of her lightsaber in her hand once more, and then clipped it to her belt.

"Well, we were a little occupied before and then when we were finally able to stop, we were exhausted. I didn't think about it till just now when you mentioned it. Anyway, I found it when I came to and went after you. It was on the ground near me."

"Then they didn't take you?"

"No, they left me lying there," Obi-Wan said, shaking his head. "It was strange, but they didn't even tie me up, nor did they know to take our lightsabers. They must not know much about us, and apparently it's only the women they were after."

Siri shuddered. "I think I know for what purpose. Those two men were fighting over me when you found me."

Obi-Wan nodded, smiling. "I'm glad they were. It gave us our chance to get away." He then looked at her soberly and said, "I was so worried about you. I didn't know what they would do, but I could imagine. I couldn't bear it if anything had..." he hesitated, his eyes clouded for a moment.

"And nothing did," Siri said, taking his hand. "Thanks to you."

His face brightened and he nodded at her. The sun was shining through the clearing now, the dew was drying and it was getting warmer. Obi-Wan kicked out the fire.

They then settled themselves to meditate. They could hear the rustling and chirping of various woodland animals around them. The sun was higher and warmer and a soft wind blew, rustling their hair. Siri brushed her hand over her hair and pulled off dried mossy looking stuff. She looked at Obi-Wan, and he had it on him also. Funny she hadn't noticed it before. It was all over their clothing also. She had other things on her mind, she decided. Smiling, she reached over and brushed the strange stuff off of him also and he grinned at her.

They had just settled back down when both of them felt a warning and stood in alarm, looking toward the woods.

TBC