Sirius was having difficulties managing everything that happened. Hermione left him with Kingsley and Harry to go through the process so that she could work. He didn't want to be away from her. There was something profound about how he felt so much more… whole, yes whole, with her near. Was this just because she was there? Could it be that since he has returned, they have been near each other every waking hour? Or. Oh, that or scared him to pieces.
The animagus was genuinely doing his best at avoiding asking if he could see her. Harry noted his skittish behavior and nudged him as they were walking to his department to clear Sirius's name officially. "Why are you so spooked?"
Sirius shook his head and smiled. "Nothing, just a bit of work to get back on my feet."
"You're alright, Pads. Hermione been taking care of you?"
He glanced at his godson and hemmed. "Harry, how much do you know about their relationship?"
"I know it is odd. They are so different, but so was my dad and mum. I imagine they fought a bit," Harry sighed, scratching his neck. "Right?"
"Well, yes, but your dad always made it up to her. He worshiped the ground your mother walked on. She was his sun, moon, and stars."
Harry paused their traveling and narrowed his eyes at Sirius. "You don't think Ron feels the same way, do you?"
"You wouldn't ask me if you did," Sirius sighed, trying not to hold an opinion of his own.
The young wizard rubbed his face under his glasses and huffed. "I don't know anymore, Pads. Hermione has seen so much pain, and Ron has been there for her. I thought they were perfect together. He used to love that she wanted to change the world. Now, I am not sure he knows what he is anymore. Ron leaned on Hermione for stability; all the Weasleys did after the war. It just made sense that she would be with Ron until the end."
Sirius's expression grew contorted. "Was anyone there for her?"
Harry exhaled and shrugged his shoulders. "She wouldn't let any of us. She shouldered all of us at one point. Was the real glue that kept us all together after the war ended. Promoting Sunday dinners. Owling everyone daily. Running over to take care of Andromeda and Teddy. That little witch span herself dizzy in circles. I only hoped that when Ron was alright, she would have a chance to be a bit…." Harry trailed off and waved his hand in a circle.
"Delicate?" Sirius offered.
Harry bobbed his head slowly. "Delicate. It just never happened. I tried desperately, Sirius. Even after her parents were found and memories were restored. They wrote her off for what she had done. They couldn't cope with her breaking her promise to never use magic against them."
"Harry, what happened to her? I don't remember this witch being like this before," Sirius murmured.
The shaggy-haired man winced and exhaled with a nod. "I didn't want to be the one to tell you, but she never will. Hermione protected me while we were on the run and captured. She was tortured pretty badly by Bellatrix, and we had to listen to her for what seemed like an eternity."
Sirius paled and gasped. "The scar?"
"Among other things, Pads… she never talked about it after. We were locked away and had to listen to her scream herself hoarse. After it was all over, it was as if she packed pain away and never touched it again. There are pieces of Hermione that no one will know about her. I think that is what Ron is starting to realize."
"He can't hold that against her," Sirius hissed with a glare.
"And I agree with you, but no one is going to be able to tell her any differently. You remember what you told me about Moony when he was a kid?"
Sirius tilted his head and thought hard. "That he thought we would abandon him if he revealed he was a werewolf?"
"Mhm. That's how I see Hermione. If she revealed that she was weaker than she acted, that everyone would leave her. Ron knows that, and I think he is trying to do right by her." Harry mused with a weak smile.
Sirius shook his head. "No, Harry, he isn't. I won't go on about their private arguments, but I can tell you this; if he ever hits her again, it will take Hagrid holding me back not to kill him." He warned, and Harry gulped with wide eyes.
"He struck her?"
"You best talk to him. I made it clear where the line in the sand is, but he better not test me. I am around now, and I won't tolerate that. Especially now that I know why she is so wounded. I know what that feels like. I know what it is to feel never good enough because part of your life is marred by darkness. It better never happen again."
Harry exhaled and motioned agreement. "I will have a talk with the bloke. He shouldn't be ever hitting her; Molly would curse him to oblivion if she found out." He patted Sirius's shoulder.
"Why aren't you upset?" Sirius asked with an edged tone.
"Because I don't fight anymore, I get even, Pads. I am going to tell George who might rough him up a bit when he finds out. Ron is going to need someone to talk to, and he will listen to me." Harry responded with a curt nod.
Sirius chuckled and bobbed his head. "You are more like your mother than your father, after all, Harry."
"I found out that when I married Ginny that I no longer wanted to hold on to anger. We are going to build a family, and I want to be the man my children can look up to. I want to be like you, Sirius." Harry finished and nudged at the hallway before them. "Let's go clear your name so you can walk out of here free, Pads."
Hermione was organizing the sitting room and rearranging her books on the shelves. Harry and Sirius were still spending time together. The witch knew she wasn't supposed to feel weird about him being away so long, but she did. It was awkward to feel so… alone. She sighed heavily and shook her head as she stacked the books neatly.
The fireplace went off, and Hermione turned to see Ginny. "Hello, girl. I figured we needed to have a conversation," the redhead huffed and made her way to the red chair.
Hermione frowned back at her as Ginny tapped the chair arm. "What's wrong?"
"Can we talk about Sirius?"
"Hm?" Hermione questioned with wide eyes.
Ginny knitted her fingers together over her stomach. "Is something going on? Something odd. He slept in your bed with you."
Hermione snorted and waved her hand. "Ginny, the man just got back from being dead. Dead. Not a coma or even being lost in the desert for a decade. He was dead. I would have done the same for Harry without question. He is family. I did do the same for Harry if you don't remember."
Ginny exhaled and smiled. "Yes and I remember that. How many nights that you two bundled in the sitting room at the Burrow under blankets and talked until you both fell asleep? Ron was pretty jealous of him."
Hermione shook her head. "Ron is always jealous. Funny that he seems to be willing to find excuses to sleep with other women," she exhaled and shook her head.
Ginny's face hardened, and her voice was stern. "Are you actually going to do something about it?"
"I don't know," Hermione sighed. "I should."
"Yes, you really should. He shouldn't be doing this to you. You deserve better."
Hermione rubbed her cheek and scowled. "I don't know what to do."
The fireplace went off again, and Ron popped through with flowers in his hand. Ginny was turning red with anger as she glared up at him. "What are you doing here? Didn't George tell you to go to mum's?" The redheaded witch growled.
Ron rubbed his bruised up face and pursed his lips. "I wanted to talk to my fiancé."
Ginny huffed and shook her head. "No, you need to go."
"Ginny," Hermione started and sighed. "Let me talk to him."
Ron reached out and helped his sister up who was glowering at him. "You do anything to her, and I will send Harry over to curse you, Ronald."
The wizard nodded slowly and watched his sister waddle toward the fireplace. Hermione stared up at him and waited for the green to fill the room before she exhaled and shook her head. "What do you want?"
Ron offered her the flowers, and she waved her hand at him. "Hermione, please?"
"I need you to go," Hermione sighed.
His face contorted and his ears turned scarlet. "I am not leaving our home. I am staying here!" He snapped, tossing the flowers on the sofa.
"Ron," Hermione said with a frown. "Why are you making this so hard?"
He rose a finger at her, and she cringed. "I am not giving up on us, Hermione. I want to fix this."
"Then you need to go for a while."
His eyes squeezed, and he bent toward her. "I am not leaving. This is my home. If you need to run away, then go. Who takes care of you? Who tolerates your crying and your unnecessary hours? I have always been here for you." He snarled and her eyes brimmed with tears.
"I have always been here for you Ron. I even ignored your illicit behavior this last year. You cheated on me with my assistant!" Hermione shouted while throwing her hands out.
He pointed to the fireplace. "Get out. Just go. If you are going to keep saying it, then you need to leave!" He howled, and she huffed.
"Fine, then I will. I don't want to be a part of this gross lie anymore," Hermione walked toward the fireplace, and he grabbed her arm roughly.
"If you think I am going to allow you to spread this through my family, you are wrong, Hermione. Everyone will turn their back on you." He growled and yanked her.
Hermione pulled her arm away from him. "Goodbye, Ronald. I hope you and Susan are happy. I will have Harry come by to get my things," she sighed and grabbed the floo powder off the mantle.
"Is this it? Are you just going to leave? You are going to throw this all away for Sirius fucking Black?"
She pivoted toward him, and her eyes narrowed at him. "Sirius Black? You think I am doing this for him? Are you bloody mental? Where is your head that you are going to solidify that cheating on me is a correct answer? You slept with another woman. You don't even care."
He walked her back toward the wall next to the mantle and pinned her. "If you think for one second that anyone would want you then you are wrong. No one wants to hear screaming in the middle of the night or go without shagging because you are so broken and distorted that you cut yourself off. You are nothing but baggage, and I did my best to love you for the shell of a witch you are. You won't even let me in," He growled, running a thumb roughly against her jawline. "I am the only one who knows these things and still is here. You can't even enjoy a shag like a normal witch. The least you could do is give me that."
Her eyes glimmered as she stared at his anger piercing through her. "If you loved me then why couldn't you be loyal to me," she whispered, a tear running down her cheek.
"Because, it is your fault. Now if you leave, you won't have anyone who can love you better than I have tried. You won't break down those walls, and I have beaten my head against them enough to accept that you never will. This is as good as it gets for you," he whispered, and his expression turned pitiful. "Hermione, this is as good as it gets."
She huffed and sighed. "Then I suppose I will take a chance on something else," Hermione pressed him away from her and grabbed a pinch of floo. "Goodbye, Ron."
Hermione wasn't sure where she was going but decided to be alone. Getting to 12 Grimmauld Place, she blinked her eyes in the darkness and huffed. The place was a complete mess. She pulled out her wand from her jumper and started to get to work on the dreary place. Closing off the floo network, she turned back to the dusty sitting room. If she could help it, she would rather clean than focus on what had just happened; she just threw away her chances at normal.
Sirius was rubbing his chest as he sat there in a graveyard. The headstone was beautiful; Harry spared no expense for the werewolf. He knew Harry was looming not far away, but he felt alone as his hand ran over the lettering. "I miss you, darlin'," he breathed.
"Sirius, we aren't meant for a happily ever after; not like this. You can't fix me," He heard Remus sigh in a distant memory.
It was right before he left on a mission for Albus. He had to depart from the wrecked animagus, but knew just want to say to break his heart. "You got your happily ever after, didn't you, love? Even if it was shortly lived, I am so happy." Sirius murmured and pressed his head to the stone.
Moony was so good at accepting him. The broken side of him. The damage that was hashed out through years of his childhood and then the torturous years in Azkaban. He loved him as Sirius never thought he was capable of. All of that faded when he died. He got to walk through his life. See the moments he failed or succeeded in being a decent human. What he found out was Remus always seemed to make him better. Remus John Lupin. However, as much as he loved that werewolf, Remus would not budge. It was never to be, Sirius knew that. He also knew that his heart was all the better for the love they shared. He knew how to love and be loved after death. It took him dying to see that.
Their hearts were too broken in a stream of who had to be stronger. Sirius was so happy that someone showed him what he deserved… even if it wasn't Sirius to do it. His werewolf. His pack. James, Remus and even the traitor Peter were his marauders. They all were gone. They all looked to him, and he didn't realize how much until he saw the moments. Death was gentle. It helped him through the harder parts. Seeing his destructive nature exposed at the belly.
Then he saw the moments with his godson and friends. The oblivious redhead. The swotty bookish girl. His godson's own manifestation of a pack. Sirius pulled away and bobbed his head. How different everything felt now. It was like… someone smacked him hard enough to make stars enter his eyes.
"What do you think, Moony? Do you think they need me as much as you all did?" He asked the silence.
"We do, Sirius," Harry murmured as he approached.
Sirius glanced up and exhaled. "Harry, I am a marauder without my mates."
Harry kneeled next to him and patted his shoulder. "You can be a part of my pack, Sirius. We need your help too. I have an idiot best mate who is clueless. A witch who thinks she is too broken and I am about to have a son and don't know the first thing about being a good dad. Moony would tell you that we need your help."
"You are going to be a good dad, Harry. Now, I suppose I best get back to the flat and check on your bookish friend, or she might yell at us." Sirius laughed and wiped his eyes.
Harry nodded and glanced at the headstone. "You know, Pads. She is the only one that takes his son here outside of Andromeda. I can't. I relate too much to his sadness to be able to do that. But she does every time he asks. I have seen her drop everything for that boy. She has more in common with Remus than you think."
Sirius glanced over at his godson. "She loved him, yeah?"
"As someone who knows that knowledge and heart are more important than her own pain, yes. I think she admired Remus greatly for it. I didn't pay for this… she did and wouldn't let me help." Harry murmured and pressed his hand on the headstone. "Remus taught us all something different. For me, he taught me the humility of being courageous through pain. For Hermione, I think it was that power sometimes is not in speaking, but in the actions we take."
It was as if someone slapped Sirius in the face and he blinked a few times. "They are more alike than I thought."
Harry bobbed his head and exhaled. "Yes, and I don't know the first thing on how to take care of someone like you did Remus. Can you help me? Can you help me figure out what she needs? I," Harry paused and scrubbed his face. "I don't know what to do about her. She risked her life for me, and she won't let me take care of her."
Sirius nodded and glanced back at the beautiful writing on the headstone. 'Loving professor, friend, and father. May your lessons be the gifts we live by.' His eyes glistened in the light of the waxing moon. "Of course, Harry. She is our family."
"She is, now, let's go have a drink and see if Hermione is decompressed from her long day."