I didn't think the last chapter was all that funny but I guess I was wrong. Thanks for all the reviews! Oh, by the way I have a new assistant named Bob (Short For Robert) who used to be a clone trooper.

Aboard the Republic cruiser Initalics

It had taken Dooku twenty full minutes to get from Coruscant, where he was meeting with his Master, to the Republic cruiser. A few droids greeted him as he stepped off of his Geonosian shuttle and onto the ship. It grumbled in agony, well the Count had put on a few pounds since the fight with Anakin and Obi-Wan.

In all honesty, the former Jedi was depressed. He missed Yoda so much and he was jealous that the long-haired fool and the bearded buffoon got to have Yoda and he couldn't. Albert Dooku kept his feelings bottled up inside and stifled them with Jawa Juice, Correllian cream puffs, and other galactic delicacies.

"Can I get you anything, milord?" a droid buzzed from behind him.

He shot back an immediate response, a favorite for space travel, "Naboo chocolate pie and a tall glass of bantha milk."

"Would you like whipped cream?"

"On both," Dooku said, not seeing the problem with putting whipped cream on milk.

The droid nodded, well as much as it could nod. It didn't have a neck. Dooku wished he had drawn his own plans for the droids, they looked like anorexic astromechs. He stepped inside the main room, where the droids who were guarding the clone troopers saluted him.

"I've got to warn you, sir," a clone said, gripping his cape so hard it started to tear. "You shouldn't have come aboard. If the commander is cruel to us, think about what she will do to you."

Dooku kicked the clone away, it groaned, and continued his walk. He stopped by the kitchen on his way to the stairs and grabbed a bag of Jedi Jelly Beans.

"Commander," he asked a droid. "Do we have an elevator to the bridge?"

"No sir. The Jedi Padawan cut the wires…..with General Grievous' leg."

Dooku sighed and looked down at his bulging gut. Clutching the railing of the stairs, he started to climb.

A few hours later, he checked his progress, doubling over and leaning on his scrawny knees. He looked down.

"Not bad," he said to no one in particular, pride surging through his clogged heart because he had conquered two sets of stairs.

He looked up and his pride sank. Above was about ten more sets of stairs. "Ooooh!" he moaned, clutching his heart. "I think I feel a heart attack coming on!"

Nearly four hours later, Dooku dragged himself into the bridge. Ahsoka was sitting in the captain's chair, spinning around lazily and playing Chop Chop Ninja on her iPod.

"Hi Dooku," she said without looking up. "Enjoy your climb?"

He moaned and rolled onto his back, breathing heavily. "I…..hate…you."

She laughed coldly, "Join the club. Nearly everyone hates me this week."

"Aww no. Don't tell me," he said, remembering what Assajj was like during her week.

"Silence, apprentice. We have much work to do," he said calmly.

"I don't want to train! I want chocolate! Get me some chocolate!" she yelled, igniting a lightsaber.

Dooku's heart stopped and he ignited his own, "Now, apprentice, you know it's against the Sith code to eat chocolate."

"You stupid ass-bags and your dumb rules!" she shrieked, throwing a poison dart at Dooku's head.

He expertly ducked it and recomposed himself, "Now, now."

"Shut up!" she yelled, hurling a holocron at his gut.

It hit him and he groaned, "Gruuh!"

"Lose some weight, Master!" she yelled, exiting the lair. Dooku heard the ship rumbled and fly away.

"My precious….." he said, pulling out a piece of chocolate and stroking it lovingly.

Dooku sat up and pulled out his cell phone. "Oh how I love this phone. We Sith and Separatists get Verizon coverage."

"That's weird. So does Supreme Chancellor Palpantine. Normally, politicians get T-Mobile….." Ahsoka said curiously.

"Uhh, yeah weird." Dooku said nervously, scratching at a zit and dialing a number on his phone.

"Anakin, I have a little proposition to make…"

Ahsoka stood up, anger flashing in her eyes, and faced the fat Sith. Dooku gulped.

Aboard the Republic cruiser Starlight

Rex was no idiot. Or maybe he was. There were bets about his sanity, as there were bets about the Chancellor being gay, or the Jedi being traitors to the Republic, or the bets about Anakin having a girlfriend. But most of them were stupid. The last one he had gambled on was the Chancellor being a Sith lord. Crazy. Maybe that's why some people argued his sanity.

"Oh please," the voice in his head said. "You're perfectly insane. Otherwise, I wouldn't be here!"

"Aww shut up, Herman," he said to the mysterious voice.

"You know, I'm a girl," the voice said irritably.

"Some days you're a girl, some a boy. Make up your mind!"

"You make up yours. I am only here because you are," the voice pointed out.

"GET OUT OF MY HEAD!" he yelled, standing up from the table and putting his pistol to his head.

"All right, all right. Only so you won't kill yourself," the voice said, obviously stifling a laugh.

The other clones looked at him. One whispered, "He hears it too." The other clones looked astonished.

Anakin's phone rang, "Damn it's a sexy chick! A sexy chick! Damn girl!"

The Hero With No Fear was currently facing a big problem: reprogramming R2-D2 off of Slash Mode.

"Should I answer it?" Sherman asked the others. Rex nodded. Well, you can't disobey the leader.

Sherman imitated Anakin's voice, "Uhh, hi it's Anakin Skywalker."

"Hey Skyguy. You wanna know something?"

"Sure," Sherman said nervously. Then he mouthed, "It's Ahsoka." The clones paled.

"Well, my problems just ended a few minutes ago. I feel great! Which is more than I can say for Dooku. My last day was so fun! I tortured the Count for hours and then I went to the bathroom and boom it was gone!"

"Uhhh, I didn't need that much information but I'm glad you're okay now."

"Yeah, I don't know why I just told you that. So when I came out, I went to sleep and now I feel great! I'm ready to come back now," she said happily.

Anakin burst in the room holding R2's severed head under his arm, "Give me the phone, Sherman!"

Sherman handed him the phone and mouthed, "PMS is gone!"

Ahsoka was saying "…..Yeah, so I'll fly home now?"

"Not yet Snips. I want you to get all the clones off of there, press the red button behind the third escape bathroom, and then get out of there."

"Okay, Master!" the line went dead.

Anakin faced the clones, "All right. I told you so. She was going to finish before they would give up the ship. Five bucks each, pay up."