Chapter 6
Inner Demons
Ty parked the GMC in front of the main house, it was nearly 5pm. He had come over to Heartland early, as a way of showing Amy that he wanted to talk. He sat behind the wheel, trying to build up enough courage to go inside. Unsure how she would react or even if she would want to talk to him at all.
Amy sat at the dinner table, stabbing her pot roast with her fork, the lunchtimes events still rolling though her mind. She was still mad at Ty, although deep inside she knew how hard it was for him to open up, even to her.
"are you going to eat that, or just stab it to death?" Jack asked, watching her,
"sorry, "she said softly, dropping her fork.
"are you ok Amy?" Lou asked, noticing how despondent she was.
Amy smiled weakly, not really waning to talk about it.
Lou decided not to push it and cleaned up the dirty dishes, taking them into the kitchen.
Georgie excused herself and went to her room, carrying Katie with her, talking to her happily as they disappeared down the corridor.
Jack sipped his coffee, and looked at his granddaughter,
"I know you went and saw him grandpa" she finally said, her tone a little annoyed,
"I did, "Jack replied,
"so, did he talk to you?" she asked defensively, still staring at her coffee cup.
"well, I talked, he mostly listened, "Jack replied. Rocking back in his chair.
"he wants me to come over after dinner" Amy said, hoping her grandpa would give her some guidance. "but I'm thinking I might just give it a miss, he doesn't want to talk about it, so maybe I should just give up and stop trying"
"Amy, "Jack said in a low tone. Raising his eyebrow at her angst
"I know, I'm sorry, "she said softly annoyed at herself for feeling as she did," I just wish he would talk to me, and tell me what's going on, but he only agreed to me coming over tonight to make me happy, not because he wants to actually tell me what's going on "
Jack nodded and looked past her, his eyes on Ty as he slowly walked through the front door and came up hesitantly behind her, his face showing his apprehension, he stopped behind her while she sat at the table, hearing her words. His eyes registering her disappointment in him.
"maybe he will surprise you" Jack mused, his eyes guiding Amy to look behind her. A slight smile in the corner of his mouth.
"Ty "she whispered, seeing him, his stance looking a little uncertain.
"Amy, "he said softly, "um can we talk, "
She turned around in her seat, surprised yet humbled by his willingness to sort it out. He had come over to see her rather than wait until she came to him.
"um yeah, "she said, looking back at her grandpa, a slight smile of hope on her pretty face, "we can go to the loft?"
TY nodded and stepped back, a slight nod at Jack as he did, Lou came into the room and went to speak but stopped when she saw how serious Tys expression was.
She smiled at them both and took a seat at the table, placing the pie in front of her
"pie?" she asked,
"um no, thanks Lou, maybe later" Amy said as she walked up to Ty who in turn took her arm and gently guided her towards the door.
The walk to the loft was awkward for them both, neither of them knowing what to say, so opting to say nothing at all,
They climbed the stairs in the same silence, Ty behind Amy, his mind trying to put his words together, unsure where to begin.
Once they entered the loft, Amy turned to stand in front of him, looking him in the eyes.
"I thought you wanted me to come over tonight" she said. watching him intently.
Ty exhaled and touched her arms, keeping her attention on him. "yes, but I thought I would come over here and we could talk this through, I need to explain some things to you, "Amy nodded, her expression softening, she could see how hard this was for him.
She motioned towards the bed and they sat down next to each other. Ty swallowing hard, unsure where to begin.
"you wanted to know why I left after…" he said, not looking at her, his eyes on the floor.
"after dad grabbed you"
He nodded, and turned to look her in the eyes. "I left…. Because I felt "he stopped, struggling with his words,
She touched his hand, encouraging him to go one.
"ok, when I was a kid, living in Vancouver, "he started,
"when you were with your mom, "
He nodded, "I told you about Wade and what he was like," his voice had a slight quaver to it,
"you said he used to …" Amy dropped her words, seeing his expression, Ty stood up and stepped away, running his hands through his hair, walking around the loft, trying to put it into words.
"Wade used to drink, a lot, and when he was drunk, he wasn't very nice, to me, or my mom, "his back was to her, But Amy stayed quiet, allowing him to talk,
"Mom copped most of it, but when she was drunk or high on pills, well, he turned his attention to me. "Ty turned, looking at Amy, his face showing the fear he carried as a child.
"I used to get real good at hiding," he laughed nervously, remembering the past" I had these places in the
house, where I could go, there was this one sideboard in the lounge, I could fit inside it real well, but
sometimes, when he found me, which he always did, it made it worse …." He came back to sit next to Amy, taking her hands in his,
"ok, so…when your dad grabbed me, it took me back to that time, when I was a kid, I left because I couldn't
deal with it, so I ran." He took a deep breath and smiled weakly, happy to have let it out, to have shared it with her. "I'm sorry, I didn't tell you, but I didn't know how to say…."
Amy pulled him close, hugging him, showing him that he needn't be afraid.
"I wanted to tell you, "he said softly. "but it took me by surprise too, I didn't know how to deal with it"
"you had a flashback, "she said softly, "has this happened before,"
Ty shook his head, "not for years, not like that, "
Amy touched his cheek, encouraging him to go on, "you remember when we had to look after those two kids, Badger and that vamp goth girl?"
Amy nodded, "how could I forget, that was the day goth Mallory was born" she smiled,
Tys lips curled slightly, remembering Mallory in all her goth glory,
"that was the first time you told me about Wade and what had happened, how you ended up in the locked unit and met Clint" she replied,
He nodded, "I've never trusted Wade, and I know my mom is still with him and that he's supposedly changed. And I can't make her leave him, but the feelings I got when Tim, it was different, I was a kid again, I was 6 years old again, "
"maybe talking it through will help, "Amy said softly, hoping he would trust her enough to let her see all of the darkness.
She held his hands in hers, and waited, ready to just sit there and let him talk, Ty watched her and decided to take Jacks advice, he took a deep breath and let the walls down.
Amy listened to him tell the story of his child hood, how Wade had taken a menacing hold on his family after
his dad had run out on them, how his mom and changed from a vibrant happy woman into a drug dependent
alcoholic, he told Amy of the abuse, the beatings, the nights he spent in fear, his terror when he heard Wade
return form the casinos, She felt his pain as he describe his torment at seeing his mom beaten and how as he
grew, he had vowed to one day, when he was old enough and strong enough he would end it all, and stop
Wade from ever hurting them again.
Ty wiped his eyes, a sense of relief when he was done, knowing that there was nothing left he hadn't shared.
He had laid it all out for Amy to see, every last ugly sordid detail.
Amy touched his cheek, she could feel his body was trembling.
"thank you for telling me" she whispered, leaning in and kissing him gently on the lips,
He kissed her, back, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close.
"I love you" he said into her ear as he hugged her tightly, "I'm sorry I pushed you away"
"shh, "Amy replied, "I'm sorry you had to go through all that alone, "
They held each other, seeking comfort in each other's embrace. Ty feeling like a huge weight had been lifted from him.
He kissed her again, forcing a smile, showing her, he was ok.
"this loft holds many a memory hey" he smiled, wiping his eyes, "some of my best moments where had under this very roof"
Amy nodded, looking around the loft, thinking of all the times they had been there together,
"you know, this is where I first saw you naked," she laughed,
"I wasn't naked, "Ty corrected, "I was in my boxers," A cheeky smile played on his lips.
Amy shrugged and grinned, "practically naked," she continued to survey the loft with her eyes. Relishing in the memories.
"If I remember correctly, that was the night you burst in and told me you had a dream that you where spartan,
" he laughed, "and insisted that I get up and come help you in the middle of the night" Amy nodded, remembering that night,
"you did help me, you helped me get Spartan in the trailer, it was your idea to use it as a bridge that helped him conquer his fear,"
Ty looked away, "na , I just had the idea, that was all you miracle girl"
"I love this loft, "she smiled, "nearly as much as I love the boy who used to live here"
"the boy?" Ty smiled, raising an eyebrow,
"ok, "she contradicted herself "the man, "
"the handsome man "he encouraged
"ok, the handsome man, "she repeated, her eyes playing with his,
Ty leaned in again and kissed her, his kiss gentle but passionate,
"the sexy man?" he whispered into her ear as he kissed her neck.
Amy shut her eyes and enjoyed the feeling of his lips on her skin.
"mhhmmm, yes, the sexy man" she whispered back.
"how sexy?" he chuckled, biting her earlobe gently and running his hands around her waist, pulling her onto his lap.
"way sexy" she smiled between kisses
Amy willingly followed his lead and positioned herself on his lap, facing him, her legs wrapped around his waist,
her arms around his neck, her hands playing with the ends of his hair,
Ty looked up at her beautiful face, as Amy leant down and kissed him again, His eyes telling her how much she
meant to him. and how glad he was that they had talked it through.
"your amazing, "he breathed "you know, that right?"
Amy sat still for a moment, lost in those pools of green, then leaned in and kissed him again.
Ty pulled on his shirt, and re-clipped his belt buckle, he smiled as Amy wrapped her arms around his waist from behind.
"you're getting really good at this taking control thing" he said feeling her head on his shoulder and leaning into her embrace.
She kissed his neck and smiled, "you better believe it" she whispered, running her hands under his tee and across his abdomen.
Ty inhaled and chuckled her touch tickling his skin, making him tense his stomach muscles.
Amy released him and went back to the messed-up bed, and pulled on her boots, she watched Ty do the same and admired the view as he bent down to grab his left boot. He looked back, a curious grin on his face, noticing she was watching him.
"and what s that look for?" he asked, turning to face her, still wrestling with his footwear.
"just admiring the view, "she grinned, raising her eyebrow. "you know, I think they are my favorite pair of jeans. "
"oh yeah," he played, running his hands though his ruffled hair, and walking over to her, pulling her up into his arms, his hands sliding around her waist and into her jeans rear pockets.
"I kinda like yours too" he said cheekily, squeezing her buttocks with his hands and kissing her lips.
Ty bit her bottom lip and sucked it gently, his eyes sparkling as they looked into hers,
Amy was mesmerized by him, he had her spellbound. lost within those emerald eyes.
Tys lips twitched and he took full advantage of his upper hand, kissing her again, but lifting his left hand out of her pocket and slapping her firmly on the butt.
Amy jumped and squealed at the contact, a surprised smile crossing her face.
"what was that!" she giggled, her eyes watching his.
Me taking back control "he smiled, kissing her on the nose, "I'm not going to be your play thing forever"
Amy laughed and pulled away, straightening her hair with her hands and pulling on her over shirt, she looked at her phone and bit her lip.
"we should get back, "she said softly, "its nearly 8pm"
Ty nodded and grabbed his jacket and pulled it on, "yeah, I'm amazed they haven't sent out a search party for us"
"oh, that would have been just great, "Amy replied, as she straightened up the bed, took a quick look at herself in the mirror and once happy that she looked presentable headed for the loft stairs.
Ty followed her, grinning as she ran down the stairs, he chuckled, causing her to look back up at him.
"what?" she said, her feet hitting the barn floor,
"oh, nothing, just my turn to admire the view" he laughed, wrapping his arm around her and leading her out into the night.
They walked back to the main house, arms interlocked, smiles all round. Ty felt so close to Amy in that
moment. Their bond now cemented even more. He had never told anyone what he had shared with Amy that
night. He had opened the door to his soul and allowed her in. And even though it had been scary, he had to
admit, it felt so good to know that she really knew everything now. He was an open book, and she hadn't run
away, she hadn't judged him. She had embraced him and loved him more.
He couldn't help but smile as they walked up to the front door, his grin from ear to ear.
"Ty "Amy whispered, seeing his face, "stop that, you'll give us away"
He laughed, and nodded, quickly dropping his smile and looking serious,
"that's better, "she replied, opening the door and pulling him inside.
to be continued