Chapter 5

Sheldon had expected their shopping to be at Safeway or one of the other chains but he was surprised when Priya drove her BMW into a part of town he'd never really been in. After all, almost everything he needed in life could be found within a few miles of his apartment.

It was a small grocery and the shelves were stocked with cans and bottles and jugs all in languages and alphabets Sheldon couldn't begin to make sense of.

"Sheldon, this is where I will pick up the spices and powders necessary for our food. Also, flour and rice and some fruits and vegetables that I haven't found in chain markets. If you see something you want to know more about, please ask. By the way, nothing here is 'manufactured' in a factory setting. All is made the traditional way. I prefer something traditional from time to time."

Oh, did he have questions! Priya began to realize that the skinny man with the caustic wit and rapier tongue was also a man who was curious about everything.

When it came time to check out, Priya pulled a mesh bag from her voluminous purse and the clerk filled it with her purchases. Sheldon paid for everything despite her objections.

"I received a lesson in cuisine and culture and it's the least I can do in exchange. Now, unless I'm mistaken, there are more purchases to be made since you mostly bought spices, vegetables that I've never heard of, and condiments."

"Yes. Now we will go to a supermarket for the meats, common vegetables and teas."

Penny had had a horrible day at work. She'd had her fanny squeezed by dirty old men, a group of mothers had come in with their children and a food fight had erupted – between the mothers - and lastly, her tips were crappy although one dirty old man had left her a twenty with his telephone number on it.

When she unlocked her door and threw her purse in the general direction of her couch and slipped off her shoes, Leonard was waiting for her with a cup of coffee in one hand and a bouquet of flowers in the other.

"Leonard, I'm too tired for this. Just get your stuff and go, okay? I'm too tired to worry about anything but taking a pain pill and going to bed."

She saw the hopeful look on his face but crushed him by almost screaming "Alone, Leonard, A-L-O-N-E."

"Penny, I'm sorry for all the drama. Look, I may have some infinitesimally small residual feelings for Priya but Penny, it's you I love."

"Look, I'll bottom line it for you: you love the 'idea' of me, of the pretty girl you can have on your arm when you have to go out in public. You like the sex, even when it's not all that great for me. You didn't think twice about hooking back up with Priya and when that bombed, guess who you suddenly 'loved'? Nope. Non-starter, Lennie-poo. Go. I'm going to bed."

"Penny, wait! That's not fair!"

"Maybe not, but it's the truth. Get your stuff out of my house before Friday. I'm tired of schlepping all around your crap. You can't find the laundry basket, you leave stuff all over the place, you move my stuff around and I can't find things when I need them…"

"Well, aren't we becoming the little Sheldon Cooper?"

"I'll take that as a compliment, Leonard. Now I'm tired, sore, and cranky and unless you want to walk with a limp for the next few weeks, get out."

"Penny, be reasonable. We've been through this before and we always end up together. Surely you can see that – "

"I'm going to shut up now and walk away. It doesn't mean you've won any points with your shitty excuses, it just means…it just means that your stupid ass isn't worth another moment of my time. Let yourself out, Leonard, and don't slam the door this time. It's petty and juvenile."

Leonard left, slamming the door as hard as he could.

Raj was being greeted by his sister at the door of 4A and Leonard's eyes bugged out when he saw that Priya was wearing a sari and heavy makeup and jewelry; her bejeweled hair was done up in a tight bun and she was barefoot.

"Priya, what are you doing in Sheldon's apartment dressed like that?"

"This is where I live now, Leonard, and I must ask that you respect my privacy. Rajesh, welcome to our home. Please greet Sheldon-jaan and be seated."

Leonard knew what 'jaan' signified and he lost his temper. First Penny breaks up with him over some imagined feelings for Priya, and now Priya just called his ex-roommate by the name she always called him back when things were good between them.

He almost ran down the stairs, slamming his fist against the wall with every step. 'This is all Sheldon's fault. Somehow he's convinced Penny that I still have feelings for Priya and now Sheldon's living with my ex-girlfriend! He's the major cock-blocker in life and it's time someone put him in his rightful place!'

Dinner was delicious and Sheldon found himself talking and laughing and having a really good time. Eating with one's fingers was not something he relished but he saw no way around it. He watched Rajesh and his sister eat and laugh and sip tea and he realized that for the first time in ages he had no reservations at all about what he was doing.

"So, Sheldon, what do you think of a traditional and authentic Indian meal made the old way, by hand?"

"Everything was delicious, even the fiery chicken wrap was good. Indians use chilies and curry the way we use Jalapenos and other incendiary peppers in Texas."

"Sheldon, I wish I had thought to bring my camera. The look on your face! The sweating brow, bulging eyes, the wisps of steam from your ears…"

Priya lightly rested her hand on the back of Sheldon's and said, "I hope you didn't think I was trying to poison you, Sheldon? I don't want you telling people that I'm a terrible cook who masks her mistakes with peppers!"

"No, I would never do that, Priya. My Meemaw taught me to be a gracious guest as well as a host. Rajesh, you bring in the plates and platters and I'll do the pre-wash and then load the dishwasher. Priya, you sit and relax." She kept touching him and her emotions were overwhelming.

"But Sheldon…"

"Priya, do not try and dissuade him. He does this anytime someone brings food in. Let him be. Not to bring up a tender subject, but have you spoken to our parents yet? Together, I mean."

"No, and I am not looking forward to it. I don't think we are enough in 'synch' with one another yet to deceive them effectively. He is definitely not my type, Rajesh, and I need to work out the bumps if we are to be comfortable and convincing."

"Well, you had better get the bumps smoothed out and your acts together in a fine hurry because they are calling you tomorrow night with 'discussion items'."

"Oh, no! No. Not…'discussion items'?" 'Discussion items' were things that her parents wanted, not necessarily what their children wanted.