Here we go again! Sorry updates are suddenly weekly, I don't intend to keep that up, I have just been REALLY busy and I have mock exams this week (yet I'm updating this for you – procrastination).

What the heck was 'Survival of The Fittest' episode?! Omg, such a Bellarke episode and then bam Clarke breaking Bell's heart at the end there, but she doesn't mean it. Also, I am TERRIFIED for Bellamy in 'Coup de Grace' my baby! Prayer circle?

Chapter title credits to the song 'Part of Me' by Neck Deep, brill bellarke song.

Chapter Six

Part of Me

By caggiewrites

[I like her 'cause she's smart,
headstrong and independent,
She puts me in my place,
But I don't know where I stand
- Neck Deep]

Bellamy used to wake up whenever he felt like it. He used to skip class and partake in petty thievery from corner stores. He smoked like a steam engine and blew up at anyone who didn't agree with him. He was an idiot.

The Blakes didn't grow up in the best neighbourhood in town, and it was all Bellamy could do to keep his younger sister out of the usual gang conflicts. When he wasn't riding his motorcycle over the speed limit, he was making spaghetti hoops for Octavia, even when she complained that she wasn't a child anymore. Their mom worked three jobs and Bellamy secretly thought she wouldn't hang around the house if she could anyway. She was a sad woman, he could see that. Even Octavia gave up on asking for bedtime stories one day, and Bellamy took over.

Some nights Bellamy would understand their mother; her life was a far cry from the one she'd planned. She was Octavia if Octavia had never had Bellamy. Bellamy would agree with her silently from his room when he heard his mom crying still, after all this time, about their father who she had married against the wish of her parents who left her after Octavia was born anyway. Bellamy was almost sure his parents were still married, since the scumbag never came back for a divorce.

But then there were usually nights that Bellamy did not understand their mother at all. He agreed she had been dealt a tough deck but he didn't see why she couldn't shoulder her pain like the rest of the world did. He would get angry when his mom blatantly ignored Octavia asking her to sign her school report. He accused her of being just as neglectful as their dad, and that she was a better mother to drugs and alcohol. Those were the sort of words left swirling around Bellamy's head years later.

Something Bellamy had never understood at the beginning was the day he came home from not going to school when he was sixteen and found the police and a handful of nosy neighbours crowded round his tiny house. Being Bellamy, he pushed past them and thundered up the stairs, his heart slowly turning to lead and sinking all the way down to his stomach.

His mother – or rather his mother's frail body, his mother was long gone – laying on her side as though she were sleeping. Next to her, her favourite wine she said she would save until the day Bellamy or Octavia got married for their wedding toast, and an empty bottle of pills. Bellamy had blinked slowly at first but then furiously, as though trying to blink the image out of his eyes. Pain like he had never known had threatened to tear through his skin and leave him empty like the pill bottle. He staggered back, not daring to look at his mother again, and stumbled back down the stairs, pushing the same people he had in his haste to get to his mom.

Bellamy tore out of the house and set off on his motorcycle, faster than he should have with so many police around. He drove so fast that the wind screamed in his ears and burned tears in his eyes, but he just propelled himself further, at least it meant he couldn't hear his own thoughts. He didn't want to know what he was thinking right then.

He had stopped on a deserted road in the middle of nowhere and yelled obscenities in an attempt to rid himself of the pain clawing into his brain and heart. My fault?

Nobody had felt survivors' guilt as much as Bellamy did right then. He could feel it uprooting the foundation of who he had been as a teenager, and a new version of himself was being cemented already. Bellamy could have stayed there forever.

But he didn't, there was someone he had to go back for. That he would always go back for: Octavia.

To his fury and anguish, it was over a year until Bellamy could become Octavia's legal guardian. They were put into separate children care homes and didn't see one another more than twice for a whole year. It was the worst year of Bellamy's life, as his life was worthless without her. But it did give him time to think, and he forged a plan to turn his life around so he could salvage Octavia's. On the day of his eighteenth birthday, he was out of that home and began the transaction to become his sister's guardian. They moved upstate, and Bellamy began working several different jobs to pay Octavia's way through high school and eventually college. She complained sometimes that she felt like baggage, to which Bellamy had told her severely that she was not baggage, that she was the most important thing in his life and would be treated so. Even so, he let her get a little job in a diner at sixteen to pacify her worries.

Octavia's graduation had been the proudest day of Bellamy's life, and though he would never admit it, he definitely had teary eyes. He'd spent a little extra money they couldn't afford on a dinner in a fancy restaurant to celebrate and the next day began working laboriously to save every penny they could for the local college.

So now Bellamy gets up no later than ten minutes after his alarm, because he can't afford to run late to either of his jobs. He lives by himself in the small but sweet apartment he had brought with Octavia. He was ridiculously happy to have become a firefighter a year ago, but didn't leave the bar just because he liked it there and he liked to be busy anyway. He still blew up at people for no particular reason on occasion but he didn't smoke at all.

The only one thing that had never changed was Octavia. She would always be the most important person in his life, and he would take care of her with everything he had until he died and hopefully after. Perhaps that was why he despised Lincoln so much. Not so much him, but the idea of Octavia depending on someone else. It was jealousy, but it was sadness too. He wondered who he was if Octavia didn't need him.

Apart from… now, he had a new person in his life he just couldn't shake. It was not like he'd tried either, and she had made no attempt to distance herself from him.

It had been a month since he'd first talked to Clarke on the phone. He had been in a foul mood and was just looking for Octavia, but didn't anticipate his sister's roommate calling him out on it.

"That bad of a day for you to be such a dick to someone you don't even know. Or is this cheerful for you?"

Bellamy had been so shocked to hear these words that he hadn't been able to form a witty come back quick enough. He imagined the girl Octavia described feeding him these lines. His sister had warned him she was sharp as a knife but hearing it was something else entirely. Bellamy was almost impressed. Then alarmed at himself. So he stunted the thought and was cruel to cover it up.

Later that night, he'd literally bumped into her at the ridiculous national party suave. He'd only gone because he'd received a text from Octavia that was almost illegible considering all that money he'd spent on English tutoring. Bellamy still maintained he wasn't being possessive, he just wasn't busy and decided to check up on her. He should have known it was Clarke when he bumped into her, as he'd lent Octavia the money to get a ton of pointless and absurd United Kingdom merchandise for the party, just like the dress Clarke was wearing.

He had noted that she was cute, especially the way she was rubbing her head. It didn't hurt that she was pretty and blonde and his sister had brought her a dress at least one size too small. Any clumsy persona picked up on in those first three seconds vanished once she realised who he was. Clarke's face had transformed into one that looked like it was made of marble and most importantly – unimpressed. Bellamy quite enjoyed the way her sharp tongue endeavoured to cut him in half, but she was too self-righteous. Little did he realise that Clarke had pretty much come to the same conclusion about him.

She had caught up with him later that night, completely sloshed and angry.

"Oh, look, it's Bellamy Blake!" Clarke said mockingly.

Bellamy surveyed her. He honestly had no idea whether to walk away, be rude or just laugh.

"Alright, Princess?" He said apprehensively, raising his eyebrows when she seemed to stumble standing still.

"I was," She said indignantly. "But then I saw that you were still here."

He folded his arms, commenting sarcastically, "That stings."

Clarke cocked her head, then place her arms on her hips and put on her deepest voice, "I'm Bellamy Blake and I'm going to saunter around college parties perhaps being obsessive about my sister or maybe picking up chicks. The world will never know."

"No, Princess, you'll never know. Because you won't remember this in the morning," Bellamy sighed.

Clarke stepped up to him then, her inebriated state forgetting space awareness and getting too close to his face. She smelt good, which was odd, seeing how drunk she was.

"Don't call me Princess," She said, and Bellamy was surprised at the menace in her voice.

"Yes, Princess," He smirked. She narrowed her eyes, exhaling slowly and Bellamy was thinking about an entirely different state of intoxication as their breath mingled.

"You think you're smart," Clarke whispered.

"So do you."

She stared at him then, right in the eyes. She was quite a bit shorter than him, so she had to look up which made her eyes look hooded and mysterious. Bellamy had earlier acknowledged her good looks, but her eyes were a completely different concept. They were blue, open and wide and her lashes curled slightly at the ends. Bellamy didn't really look into people's eyes, he had only ever really glanced. But right now he was looking, and he felt something, he had no clue what, but something.

But then Clarke stumbled and to stop her falling Bellamy reflexively reached out and grabbed her elbow. She smiled at him sarcastically once she realised what had happened, but there was a glint in her eye that made Bellamy almost smile back.

"My knight in shining armour." Clarke raised an eyebrow. "That's what Princesses like isn't it?"

Before Bellamy could answer, a boy popped out of nowhere, followed by Clarke's two male friends and his own sister. But Bellamy barely glanced at Octavia, because his eyes were narrowed on Finn Collins. He had to bite back a snarl when Finn grabbed Clarke's hand.

"Clarke! We thought we'd lost you!" Finn said over dramatically and Clarke snorted.

"Not lost," She replied, then looked over at Bellamy. "Just accosted."

Bellamy rolled his eyes, attempting to disguise his disgust for the other man, "I think you accosted me, Princess."

"Whatever, Blake. I'd only accost you to tell you how annoying you are." Clarke shrugged in nonchalant manner.

The others stifled laughter. Bellamy raised his eyebrows at her as if to say, is that so?

Clarke nodded exuberantly, "I'm serious! You seriously bug me. And then the fact that you're hot doesn't help, it makes it worse. Your hotness bugs me even more."

This time the rest of the group didn't hide their laughter, shaking their heads, Octavia was smirking at Bellamy.

Bellamy nodded his head in mock sincerity, "Well, Princess, you are just full of compliments tonight. You let me know how hot you think I am any time of day." He then noticed Finn's grip on Clarke's hand tugging her away as she looked up at Bellamy smirking, appearing not to notice Finn.

"Or night." Bellamy finished pointedly, looking at Clarke then glancing at Finn, who was glaring at Bellamy but looked away when their eyes met. Their friends howled with mirth and began elbowing Clarke, who let herself get juggled around but kept watching Bellamy. He felt a cord of a million electric bolts between them and though he didn't want to, began backing away. Nobody noticed the wink he dropped her before turning away. Only glancing back to see Clarke finally having succumbed to a blush.

Octavia had complained that Bellamy was gross for flirting with Clarke, to which he told her that he was just joking around to humour her. However, not five minutes later Octavia began asking Bellamy's opinion of her roommate in the union jack dress.

It was Saturday night, and Bellamy was working his usual shift at the bar. Like clockwork, at 5pm he heard the door swing open emitting the cold and Clarke Griffin. He could tell it was even colder outside because she was clad in jeans and a knitted jumper under her usual blue duffel coat. She had taken to visiting several times a week just to hang out. Occasionally she'd bring Monty or Jasper and had attempted to persuade Octavia a few times to no avail. But usually she'd come by herself, ready to rant about work or a professor or the weather, or she'd just come to laugh and have some company. Clarke had learned to bring a book for when all of the bartenders were busy and she refused to buy an alcoholic drink before 6pm.

Clarke slid onto a stool in the middle of the bar and drummed her fingers on the worktop. Though he'd noticed her as soon as she'd walked in the door, Bellamy pretended to just see her and nodded at her before bending down to grab some glasses.

"Clarke Griffin!" Came the usual over the top sing song baritone of Wick as he walked over to her.

"Hey Wick," Clarke smiled at his antics.

"How's my favourite little freshman?" Wick leaned his elbows on the bar and Bellamy looked over, snorting.

He handed a drink to the customer and walked over to the pair of them, "Why are you such an ass lick, Wick?"

Wick rolled his eyes as if this was obvious, "Well, someone has to compensate for how much of a dick you are."

"Funny," Bellamy deadpanned, but looked over at Clarke to see her grinning, flicking away his eyes when she met them. Wick was called by a customer and he left. Bellamy cleared his throat, "Something to drink?"

"Vodka shot, please," Clarke said in a sweet tone and Bellamy's head snapped up.

She was laughing, "I'm kidding! Just wanted you to actually look at me, I mean, is there something on my face?"

Bellamy shook his head and adopted his usual confident persona, "Yes, your nose, your eyes, your mouth…" At this, Bellamy's eyes flitted down to the latter but he looked at her eyes again just as quickly.

"Wow, I don't know why you're a fireman, Bellamy, you're funny enough to be on the stage," Clarke said, her tone dripping with sarcasm, apparently having noticed nothing.

Bellamy chuckled and she asked him about his day.

They had a routine now, and every day it was easier. Well, easier in the way he could talk to her like he'd known her for much longer than a month, that's for sure. But every time he saw her created a whole new plethora of problems. Lately, he found himself noticing everything she did and practically cataloguing it in his brain. She had habits like tucking her hair behind her ears all the time, even if it was already tucked there. She played with the hem of her sleeves when she was upset and flailed her arms about when she was angry. When she laughed, her nose crinkled right on the bridge and she always carried a pencil. Bellamy had just gotten good at reading her, and he thought Clarke was pretty good at reading him too. Though they didn't always get along, Bellamy and Clarke were a good team. They couldn't get through one hour without disagreeing on something but bygones really were bygones in five minutes.

Bellamy decided that he thought about Clarke so much only because he didn't know that many other people. He had Octavia, and close friends like Wick and then Clarke in an entirely new category of her own. She infuriated him with some of the things she said but sometimes he would turn over something she had said that day in his mind a thousand times because she used her words as a tool, and a powerful one.

Bellamy leaned against the bar absently wiping glasses clean as he watched Clarke banter with Wick. She used sarcasm and her intelligence to make Wick stumble over his words and indefinitely lose whatever petty quarrel they were having. When she laughed, it completely changed her eyes, and he would have said it made them sparkle if he was that sort of guy. Bellamy often had to remind himself that Clarke was the same age as his sister. He marvelled at how he saw Octavia as a young girl yet he viewed Clarke as an independent woman. Of course he knew that Octavia was just as headstrong as her friend, but his big brother mind was biased.

"Bellamy," Clarke said now and snapped him out of his reverie. He focussed on her to see she was looking at him with an amused smile, her eyebrows raised. "You were staring at me."

Bellamy jumped up from his lounging position and tried to make himself look busy, "Just zoned out, sorry."

"Tell us about that zone, man," Wick's tone was smug and as Clarke looked back down at her phone he winked, to which Bellamy promptly threw the dishcloth he was holding at Wick's head.

Laughing, Wick picked up the towel and walked down the other end of the bar. Bellamy headed out to change a barrel, muttering to himself.

What did Wick know? With his tone of voice and facial expressions, constantly gesturing Clarke and dropping stupid hints. Clarke Griffin was his little sister's roommate, for Christ's sake, and he was a twenty-three year old man with a crummy little apartment that would be no match for the types of guys Clarke would meet as a Doctor. He had to get rid of these uneasy feelings whenever she was around and just act normal. But, just as he came to this conclusion, her smiling face popped into his head and he sighed.

Bellamy had wanted to tell Clarke about that slime ball Finn, but he let it slide the night of the party because he assumed that Finn would not dare pursuing Clarke again. Bellamy only knew of Finn Collins because the boy's father was put in charge of Bellamy when he started at the fire station. Finn would constantly turn up at the place, asking to help out or just being a general nuisance, sometimes bringing Raven Reyes along with him. Finn's father complained about Finn not having gone to college for no good reason, and Bellamy swore he was fonder of Raven than he was his own son. Thinking about Raven and the fire station made Bellamy uncomfortable even though no one could see what he was thinking, but he tried to avoid that night in his thoughts, especially now.

Bellamy didn't particularly care about Clarke's relationship status but he felt a duty of care to any girl Octavia's age getting scammed by no good guys. He probably would have been a no good guy himself if his mother hadn't died so suddenly. Bellamy at least made sure that himself and the girl he was with were on the same page, and was certain the next day when he saw Finn that the younger boy did not. Bellamy seethed when he saw Finn in the bakery the day after the party as he picked up breakfast on his way to the station. He hid behind a stack of sugar donuts and waited for him to leave, but couldn't help but overhear the last part of Finn's conversation with the baker.

"…this isn't all for me, I promise!" Finn raised his hands as if to say he wasn't guilty as the baker laughed. Bellamy rolled his eyes. "My girlfriend eats twice as much as me, honestly, and she had a party last night so…" Finn raised his eyebrows as if that concluded his sentence.

"Ah, are you still with the young lady who you pre-ordered that giant cookie for? What was her name… Lark?" Bellamy's head shot up in alarm as he initially misheard the baker.

"Close! Raven," Finn replied. Bellamy scoffed, but stifled it into a cough.

"Ah, yes, I knew it was a bird! Well, I hope she doesn't take her 'day after' mood out on you, son!"

Finn left the bakery shortly afterwards, but Bellamy had heard enough. He paid the baker and left also, but stopped dead outside. Across the street were his sister, Clarke, and their two friends Monty and Jasper, sitting outside the café, soaking up the sun and talking. Bellamy would've gone over to check up on Octavia and get on Clarke's nerves but as he watched, Octavia called out, and Bellamy followed her gaze to see Finn making his way towards them. Bellamy watched as Finn openly flirted with Clarke and his eyebrows knit together. A few minutes later, Finn headed in the direction of the dorms and Bellamy would have bet his life on who Finn was going to see.

So Bellamy knew that Finn was still with his girlfriend Raven, and he should have somehow let Clarke know but he just didn't want to involve himself. It was painful to hear about how much Clarke liked Finn from Octavia when he knew what he knew, but telling Clarke would raise questions and insinuate that he cared about her, which he didn't. He barely knew her. And, yet.

And, yet.

And, yet, he had no idea.

"Hey, this is Octavia, leave me a message and I'll call you back if I care enough." Bellamy looked up at Clarke who was watching him sleepily from the other side of the bar, her chin in her right hand. "Answering machine." He explained.

"So leave a message," Clarke said simply.

Bellamy sighed, "O, it's me, Bellamy. I haven't called in a while…" He broke off, realising he had no idea where to begin. Clarke nodded her head encouragingly: "Go on," she whispered.

He cleared his throat, "Look, I know I haven't even tried to call you in a while, but I didn't want the embarrassment of you hanging up. But we need to talk, I, uh, I miss you, O. Please call me when you get this. Please." He turned away from Clarke as he hung up, overwhelmed with how much he wanted to hear his sister's voice.

It was just past midnight, and Bellamy's shift had officially ended seven minutes ago. Clarke had stayed the whole night, talking to them when they were free, reading a thick book the rest of the time. Occasionally, she joined in the banter with customers, and Bellamy would smile at how easily she fit in, that being so different to them didn't faze her. Clarke had taken to doing this the past few weekends when Bellamy was around, claiming she "actually got more reading done here than I would at the dorm". At the end of the night, they usually rounded back to Octavia, and Clarke would try and bully him into calling which hadn't worked until tonight.

"Hey," She said softly. He turned back, willing his eyes not to water. She looked sort of proud. "You made the first step, that's good."

Bellamy sniffed and nodded in reply. He shoved his phone in his pocket and looked around trying to clear his head, "You ready?"

Clarke lifted her head up off her hand and grabbed her jacket, "Beyond ready."

This was also a customary part of their new routine. The first late night that Clarke had stayed at the bar, Clarke had tried to leave twenty minutes before Bellamy's shift ended, much to his disapproval.

"Wait a measly twenty minutes, Princess, and I'll walk you home."

"No way! I'm a big girl, I don't need you to hold my hand."

"Who said anything about hand holding? Girl germs." Bellamy grinned.

"I'll be fine, Bellamy," Clarke rolled her eyes.

"You're a Princess and I'm a gentleman," Clarke snorted at this. "Humour me." Really it was because he would hate if some guy left Octavia to walk home alone on a dark night, and he think Clarke understood this, so eventually she relented.

Now they walked in comfortable silence on the sidewalk as they usually did. Bellamy thought about Octavia, and how Clarke's tiredness affected her ability to walk in a straight line so she kept meandering near him and brushing his arm.

"I think this is my favourite time of the day," Clarke said suddenly.

Bellamy looked over and put his hand on his heart in mock sincerity, "I'm touched, Princess."

She raised an eyebrow at him before gesturing upwards, "Yeah, right. I mean, this," she waved her arms wildly about and Bellamy couldn't help but chuckle. "There's hardly anyone about – not counting the random drunkard – and I don't know, it's just so… still. I feel peaceful, do you?"

He knew what she meant completely, but it seemed so un-Bellamy-like to admit that in this tranquil air, "It's hard to be at peace when you're around, Princess, I never know when you're going to blow up at me."

"Ever heard of the expression, 'the pot calling the kettle black'?" Clarke flashed him a fake smile.

"Heard of it."

"Apply it."

Bellamy chuckled again and he noticed Clarke smiling at the sound. They were silent again.

"Do you think Octavia will come around before Thanksgiving?" Bellamy broke it this time.

He could see her nod in his peripheral vision, "Yes. When you apologise for being a crazy person and give Lincoln a chance she'll forgive you in a heartbeat."

"You think?" Bellamy looked at her, aware of how much he needed Clarke's reassurance.

She met his eyes with real kindness in her own, "She hates this as much as you." Clarke pretended to pull out her hair. "You're just both so stubborn!"

"Aw, Princess. Are you going to start asking for payment for being the Blake family therapist next?" Bellamy cooed.

"You know what," Clarke said indignantly. "I might do just that. Been looking for a job."

"Why don't you apply to the Ark?" Bellamy suggested before he could process the words.

Clarke looked up at him, as though surprised, "Really?"

Bellamy tried to regain his casual attitude, "Yeah, I guess, I mean, you spend the same amount of time there as an employee anyway."

Clarke shrugged, "True. Put in a good word for me, Blake?"

Bellamy smirked, "Your life in my hands."

Clarke rolled her eyes, "Did they teach melodrama as a compulsory class at your high school?"

"I passed with flying colours."

"I could have guessed."

They came to a stop as they reached the dimly lit entrance to the dorms.

Another drill that seemed to have become part of their new late night routine was this. A silence that was very different from the ones walking home that were so natural, Bellamy could feel the charge like an electric fence buzzing between them. Bellamy and Clarke looked at each other and smile and nod, as though expecting the other to say something else, and perhaps half expecting themselves to blurt something out but neither of them ever did. Clarke always blushed in these moments and it does things to Bellamy's stomach.

"Night, Bellamy," Clarke said eventually, and turned away to the doors.

"Goodnight, Princess," Bellamy automatically replied.

Just before she let the door swing shut behind her, Clarke turned her head to look at him over her shoulder, golden hair flicking about her eyes, and flashed a grin that took control of Bellamy's muscles and forced him to respond in kind.

The door swung shut and Bellamy was left alone in the still night. Clarke was right, it was possibly his favourite time of day too, but his reasons were all muddled up.

Just before turning to walk away, he caught sight of someone in a second storey window. If it hadn't of been Octavia, Bellamy would never have known whose outline that was watching him. Although he couldn't see, he could tell her eyes were looking into his and he wondered what she thought. About him. About him walking Clarke Griffin home.

The light flicked on in the window, signalling that Clarke had arrived, and Octavia shut the curtains. Bellamy sighed, praying that his sister could forgive him for being himself.

Bellamy usually watched crappy TV when he got home from a late shift, but tonight, like several nights recently, he didn't need the distraction. Clarke, true to her nature, kept barging into his head, and Bellamy wondered just what it meant if he didn't mind thinking about her all night long.

A/N: Hello! I really hope you all like Bellamy's POV, I loved writing it, but I don't know whether you'll like the change. Let me know if you liked it, and maybe if you want to see any other's characters POVs? In the mean time I'll be back to Clarke, but now I'm thinking about doing some dual perspective chapters between Clarke and Bellamy.

This was such a Bellarke chapter, which we all love, but don't worry, Raven will be back next chapter along with some Jasper, Monty and of course Octavia!

THANK YOU so much for reviewing PalmTreesAtMidnight, AyannaIvanova, vulnera-sapientia, wantingandwaiting, thunderatic, ELSchaaf, sydcasy, 1234grace, citigirl13, FrejaBarnes, Leppy99 (thanks about the title compliment, I made it up myself!), TMIshadowhunter25, BellaClara, Musicluver225, BellarkeLover, kc51102 and The High Warlock! Your reviews keep me writing so PLEASE review! Your kind words mean a lot.

Remember to smile,

Love always,

Caragon x