Summary: We're all just casualties of war. All these paths crossed each other all at once, we would never be the same again. Our lives from then on would take a turn for the better or turn for the worst. I for one, am glad, because it led me to you.
Casualties of War
Chapter Six: Stranger
Life in New York had turned out easier than she'd expected.. She found a job and an apartment in no time and she was making the adjustment quite nicely. She still wasn't quite sure how things would go, if this utopia, this sanctuary, she'd found here would last here, so she'd put off trying to make acquaintances with anyone…
The phone started ringing again. She tensed up and kept quiet and still as though the person on the other end could tell she was really there if she made any noise. She didn't have to answer it to know who was on the other end. Jack Scully had been trying to get in touch with her for over three weeks now, ever since their night together. There was nothing for her to do but to be patient and wait for him to give up once more. After the twentieth ring it stopped, and she sighed and relaxed into the couch.
Carlye hated to think that she could regret anything, having regret meant you made mistakes and she didn't make mistakes, but she quickly realized that her tryst with Jack was a regrettable decision, it was so unlike her. Never before in her life had she just fallen into bed with a man…except maybe Hawkeye…but that was different, it was during the war. 'Still that's no excuse.' A tiny voice rang out in her head, and she couldn't disagree with it. What had happened with Hawkeye in Korea is what primarily led to her being here now.
It was all just a big mistake… "Although…" she said to herself, "if I thought about it, the biggest mistake was dating Hawkeye in the first place." She often wondered what her life would have been like if she had listened to her friends and not gotten tangled up with Hawkeye Pierce all those years ago in her nursing school days…It seemed as though every decision she'd made since then was doing nothing more than digging her own grave and every day it got deeper and deeper.
The train was quiet…she'd taken a late one out so all the other passengers were asleep. She wanted to be like the rest of them sleeping, but found that she couldn't. Too many things on her mind…Ever since Hawkeye had called her three weeks ago, she'd tried to get to Maine immediately, but was unable to get the time off work. Hawkeye had said he understood but that didn't change the fact that they were both anxious about all of this. Her hand slipped into her pocket and she felt the ring, where she had left it. She had wanted to believe it was a real and true gesture, but her fears and doubts had won her over. What was it that bothered her so much? Deep down she really knew…but didn't want to admit it.
To Margaret…Hawkeye was everything…there was just too much to lose if she lost him. Proposing was a huge step for them to take, especially in the predicament they were in, even more than that, it was coming from Hawkeye Pierce. It was all too much for her, and it scared her. Even now there was the thought of, "What if Carlye decides to come back?" and "If she does come back…where does that leave them? Where did it leave her?" Too many things factored into this situation, and she didn't want to make anything official. She stared blankly out the window, though all she could see was black. It was going to be a long night…If only she could sleep…
She woke with a start to find herself on the couch. She must've fallen asleep there after the phone stopped ringing, that was when she realized that the phone hadn't rang since then. She was overcome with relief, Jack must have finally given up for good. "Oh thank God," she said to herself her hand over her eyes. She began to relax completely when she heard a knocking at the door, "Who could that be?" she asked herself as she got up and made her way to the couch. "I'm coming!" she yelled to her unknown visitor.
She opened the door and when she saw him standing there her mind went completely blank, then in a sudden rush questions came pouring out of her mouth, "Jack, what are you doing here? How did you find me here? What makes you think you can just come over here anyway?"
Jack stepped inside around her, "You just gotta hear me out."
"No!" she said loudly, "You have to go, you have to get out of here now." She tried to push him back out the door, but he stood his ground, instead he grabbed the door and shut it. She knew that she wasn't going to get out this that easy, "Jack, you've got to understand…what happened the other night, shouldn't have happened. I just got out of a bad relationship and I was vulnerable…and…the point is it was wrong."
"No, I mean it, you've gotta hear me out. I know what we did probably wasn't a good idea but I feel like it wasn't a mistake," he said.
"But it was a mistake, one that we'll have to live with, but a mistake nonetheless, now you have to go," Carlye pleaded with Jack, she wanted him to go. She now regretted ever meeting the man, and hoped he would see that she would never be able to convince her that their meeting was fate.
Jack stood firm, "Listen to me, if you just listen then I'll leave, but you need to hear what I have to say."
She could see that she wasn't going to find a way out of this one. She nodded her head and said, "Okay, but when you've said your piece you have to leave, not a second later."
"Now we're getting somewhere," he said and smiled.
Instead of having Hawkeye pick her up at the train station she told him that she'd have a cab to take her to the house, and he agreed hesitantly. After paying the cabbie and collecting her bags she made her way to the door finding a note on the door that read,
"Margaret, I'll be in the clinic until six, make yourself at home…or better yet drop by and visit me. -Hawkeye"
She couldn't help but smile a little at the note, the idea of going to see him at the clinic sounded nice but after being on a train most of the night she wasn't really up for the short walk into town. She opened the door and stepped into the house. Though she'd never been to the Cove before, she'd heard a lot about it from Hawkeye, so she felt like she knew the place. The house was nice, pictures covered the walls and the mantelpiece. There were pictures of Hawkeye's father and mother, pictures of him as a child, even a few pictures from the war…funny thing was that there were no pictures of the woman who had most recently resided here. It was a thought that didn't tarry long in her mind…she still found it hard to be reminded of how things were, she quickly brought herself back to reality and continued to look around the house.
When Hawkeye walked into his house that evening he found his lady love on the couch asleep. He placed a hand on her hip and gently shook her awake, "What do you know, I come home and find Sleeping Beauty here on my couch.
She stirred and sat up to look at him smiling, "Hey," she said sleepily.
He took her hand into his and asked, "How was your trip?"
"Long and tiring," she said, "I was planning on trying to stay awake so I would be able to sleep tonight."
"Well that's okay, I've got other ideas as to how we can spend the night," he said with the grin on his face that told her exactly what he was thinking.
"I'm sure you do," she said with a laugh.
"I've never heard any complaints so far," he said leaning in for a kiss.
She smiled and kissed him back, "I missed you."
"I missed you too," he said moving to relax against her, "you have no idea how much I've missed you."
"I might have an idea," she said wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him closer.
Hours later they lay in Hawkeye's bed, Margaret's head on his chest, and their legs intertwined under the sheet. She was sure there was a trail of clothing leading from the couch to the bedroom. She sighed and snuggled closer to him, if that was at all possible. Everything at this time seemed to be falling into place. It was all so perfect…for once in her life…except for one tiny little thing that kept nagging her. "Hawk?"
"Hmm?"
"What are we going to do if Carlye comes back?" she asked moving
"What do you mean?" he asked sitting up so he could see her face.
"I mean, if Carlye comes back where does that leave us?" she asked sitting up facing him.
"Margaret, she's gone, if she does come back then it leaves us right here where we are. She made her decision and I've made mine," he stated seriously taking her hand and holding it firmly in his.
She looked down at their joined hands, "I'm sorry it's just hard for me to wrap my head around all this," at first she spoke quietly and calmly then started getting worked up, "I mean…look at us Hawk! First you were with her, and then you were with me while you were still with her. Then you proposed to me, while she was still here! Proposing, that's a whole other kettle of fish. I've been wracking my brain trying to figure out what all of this means, then you call and tell me she's gone…and…I just…" it was at this point where she couldn't take it anymore and just broke.
He looked at her tear covered face and took her into his arms, "It's okay, it's gonna be okay…" he said, he had no idea that she had so much on her mind, that she was so worried. He wasn't sure what to do or say except comfort her…so that's what he did.
A/N: OMG! I did it! Well...I promised to have you this before Thanksgiving, but I got sick and slept all week last week (I swear if I knew I could I'd just get rid of my sinuses), now I wanna try to have the next chapter out before finals...not making any promises or anything but I'm gonna try, provided my professors decide to go easy on me. So yeah...that's my piece, and I've said it. REVIEWS please! They make me so happy.~Allie
DISCLAIMER: Please don't make me say it...it makes me sad when I do...Song is Stranger by Secondhand Serenade.
Turn Around
Turn Around and fix your eye in my direction
So there is a connection
I can't speak
I can't make a sound to somehow capture your attention
I'm staring at perfection
take a look at me so you can see
how beautiful you are
you call me a stranger
you say I'm a danger
but all these thoughts are leaving you tonight
I'm broke and abandoned
you are an angel
making all my dreams come true tonight
I'm confident
but I can't pretend I wasn't terrified to meet you
I knew you could see right through me
I saw my life flash right before my very eyes
and I knew just what we'd turn into
I was hopeing that you could see
take a look at me so you can see
you call me a stranger
you say I'm a danger
but all these thoughts are leaving you tonight
I'm broke and abandoned
you are an angel
making all my dreams come true tonight
you are an angel
making all my dreams come true tonight
take a look at me so you can see
how beautiful you are
x4
your beauty seems so far away
I'd have to write a thousand songs to make you comprehend how beautiful you are
i know that I can't make you stay
but I would give my final breathe to make you understand how beautiful you are
understand how beautiful you are
you call me a stranger
you say I'm a danger
but all these thoughts are leaving you tonight
I'm broke and abandoned
you are an angel
making all my dreams come true tonight
you call me a stranger
you say I'm a danger
you call me a stranger