Chapter 5
E.P.O.V
I was driving behind Carlisle who had the love of my life in the back of his car. My Bella was fighting for her life even though I know she is not fighting the darkness that is surely trying to over take her and take her away from me and my family. I did that onces and I am never doing it again it put so much strain between me and my family to loss a vital part of us.
I placed the CD into the radio in my volvo and put it on the second track which had the song Bella had written and sung her self by the sounds of it. The soft melody played, it was a piano I thought she could not play. The lyrics which cam next cut me like a knife. It made my heart break into many agonizing peaices. You could tell that the emotion in this song is so strong and I caused these emotions and this song and the situation in which took her from me.
Without you, the ground thaws, the rain falls, the grass grows. Without you, the breeze warms, the girl smiles, the cloud moves. The world revives— Colors renew— But I know blue, only blue, lonely blue, within me blue. Without you. Without you, the eyes gaze, the legs walk, the lungs breathe. The mind churns! The heart yearns! The tears dry, without you. Without you. Without you. Without you.
Without you, the seeds root, the flowers bloom, the children play.
The stars gleam, the poets dream, the eagles fly, without you.
The earth turns, the sun burns, but I die, without you.
Without you, the tides change, the boys run, the oceans crash.
The crowds roar, the days soar, the babies cry, without you.
The moon glows, the river flows, but I die, without you.
Without you, the hand gropes, the ear hears, the pulse beats.
Life goes on, but I'm gone.
Cause I die, without you.
The song finished and I was crying tearless sobs. I caused my love. My Bella to feel all this, I am such a monster. But I will no longer be away from my Bella I am to selfish to do that anymore I have come to close to lossing her and I wont servive if she does not make it. I speed up a little bit more.
I arrived at the hospital a couple of minutes after Carlisle did. I could already hear that someone is calling ; he would be here soon no doubt ignoring the road law to get to his only daughter. I run into the hospital and ask straight away what room Bella Swan they did not tell me nor did they know where she was. I ran following Bella's flowerly scent. I stood outside the door which was open and I could see Carlisle and some nurse I did not know the name of working around my Bella. Carlisle could sense my presnce so he lifted his gard to talk to me throught his thoughts.
"Son I think it is best you go to the waiting room with the others I will come out and tell you how she is doing then but it is best for you to leave. The blood will be strong and potant and I don't want anything to happen. You will need to fill in Charlie with what happend and ask Alice about what our story for being back is please." Carlisle but his gard back up to work over my love. Stiching up the open vein as well as the skin around it to pervent her from any more blood loss. I turnd round to walk back to the waiting room and was bombared with my familys thoughts.
"Why would you do that to her Edward. I may of hated her and was jelouse of her. But you did that to her. She made me cry and she thought of me a sister and loved me even though I treated her like shit. You are fucking basterd and you have a lot to answer for you know. That song she wrote and sung good I cried at it as well as her letter and the gift she left on my bed." Rosalie was the first one I heard and it was no surprise to me that she would blame me. I blame myself as well.
"Edward you are a fucking idot. Serously she asked me to fucking stop you from doing anything stupid. She thought I did not love her or want her as my best friend or sister any more. I cried at the song and the letter even the little dress she picked out for me. You really fucking hurt her. I can't belive you. I thought you was gentalman and that you could never hurt a soul but look at my sister she is fighting for her life."Alice thoughts shocked me a little Alice has never been this mad at me. Well shit I was really in the dog house of Bella did not pull through this. Crap. There is no way for me to even get to the Valtorri at all know is there.
"Don't you even think about it. If we loss Bella we are not lossing another sibbling or son you will have to live with the fact that you did this."Alice hissed out between her teeth, her voice dripping with venom.
"Edward the feelings I am getting from everyone is not good on your behalf, they are tring not to attacke you here in the hospital but I have to agree with them. You are a complete dick for doing that to Bella. I am haveing trouble feeling her emotions as thet keep comeing and going but it is mainly pain, loss, love, agony, hope, and happiness. I love you but I love Bella more right know don't be surprised if the rest of the family blank you or block you. Esme is to distrought to talk or think straight so her thoughts will not be solid. Emmetta still in shock so he will have no thoughts at all apart from little things every know and then." Jasper was always the leavle headed one in the family. I just nodded and fliched at his thoughts.
I saw Charlie walk into the waiting room looking around to see what is happening when he spotted me and my family he did not have the nicest of thoughts it would put a soldier or a saller to shame.
"Cullen what is he doing back is it not anothe what he has made my baby girl go through. That fucking prick should find a ficking hole and die in it. I wounder if the fucking basterd nows what happend to my little girl for her to end up here." Well thats good to know. My Bella has been a zombie for the past 6 months and she hardly ate, sleept, she stopped attending school and going out of the house let alone her room. Oh God I seriously fucked up this time. I hurt the one I love with all my soul. Shit.
"Cullen, you know why my daughter is in this hospital huh. What happend and why are you back. She is already brocken and shit we don't need you to come waltzing in to her life again to just go and do it again she will not servive that again she is slowly wasting away as it is. Because of you she does not leave her room, she does not eat, does not sleep, and she does not talk to no-one or sing and play her keyboard any more. You hurt my little girl so much so that she is just a shell to who she really is." Charlie shouts at me his face getting redder as he goes on.
"Um, Charlie your daughter is stable, she had to have a couple of blood transutions and is in a medical induced coma to help heal and cope with the pain. I also need to tell you that she tried a suicide attemept today and is luck that me where coming back as the hospital in New York transeferred me back to forks. She also has recurring cut's up her arm. Do you know if she has been harming herself at all. We need to know so we know if we need to put her on medacation and or to have her see a shrink when she is well anothe to. She also is anorexic as well. I am sorry Charlie but I will do as much as I can to help your daughter." Carlisle tells Charlie, but says it loud anothe so we can all hear. Rosalie is crying into Emmetts chest, Alice in Jaspers chest, and Esme runs to Carlisle so he can confort her in the news of her daughter.
I just stand there not really knowing what to do, I just collasp on the floor crying, shaking, and I can't even go and hold the one I love to tell her it is alright and I will keep her safe not while I am in this state. I just got up and ran to our meadow. I could smell her scent here too. I saw the box she talked about in her message to me. I ran over to it and cried so much just kneeling down in front of the box.
After sometime I have stopped crying and I look inside the box to see a load more of those CD's all tital Bella's songs and the name of the songs. I reached on to see that Wuthering Hights is also in the box I took it out and I could smell Bella's scent all over it. I started to read it and I could see why Bella loved it so much. I could relate to both Cathy and Heathcliff in the book.
A/N: Well I hope you are enjoying reading this so far I have a second story I have been working on for a couple of months. I am going to put that up as well but I will not forget this story. If you like Without you then I am sure you will like Angel Sanctery.