Kakashi was sitting in the chair usually occupied by Gaara. Sakura had just opened her eyes and seen her sensei with his head in his hands at her bedside. She politely closed her eyes before he could notice that she had seen him, waiting for him to compose himself. For once the ubiquitous Icha Icha book was not in his hands.

When she heard a rustle of clothing she opened her eyes once more. Kakashi looked at her. There was regret in his single eye.

"Late again." Sakura gave a tiny smile.

She may as well have punched him in the face. Kakashi reeled back visibly, guilt creasing his forehead.

"I was joking, Kakashi-sensei!" Sakura said, horrified at his reaction.

Kakashi's eye crinkled upwards, indicating a smile, "Yeah, me too." He said playfully.

Sakura pulled herself up with her good arm and slid over in the bed to hold Kakashi's hand, which had been resting on the bed.

A minute passed by in which Kakashi gazed at her wounds. He finally squeezed her hand back and said, "I wish you had stayed in Konoha."

"I don't," Sakura said cheerfully, "I get paid more here."

"Is that so? Probably more than your poor old sensei, earning barely enough to –"

"-cover his enormous Icha Icha habit!" Sakura finished his sentence with an impish grin.

"Oh! Such cruelty! I was going to say heating bills!"

Sakura laughed.

Kakashi stayed with her for a few, light-hearted hours, in which they chatted about nothing in particular and ignored the subject of Sakura's torture.

She knew he would not leave it for long, so when he abruptly stopped laughing and became serious she braced herself for his questioning.

"Sakura, I've heard that you're planning on trying to heal your hand on your own." He said. It was in the tone of a parent who has caught their child trying to fly or trying to achieve some other impossible dream. He was going to try to make her see sense. Make her give up on her dream, "It cannot be done. Tsunade-sama said that the nerve damage was too complex, you would have to reverse the torture's effects on every nerve in your –"

"Then that is what I will do." Sakura said severely. Why couldn't they just give her this hope? She was so utterly defeated by life thus far, why couldn't they allow her a small slice of triumph? "Kakashi-sensei, I'm becoming a stronger medic everyday. I was going to be promoted to Senior Nurse. I've pulled poison from victims without damaging them; I've created antidotes that no one had ever even conceived. If Naruto can be Hokage and Sasuke can kill his brother then I can heal myself. It's a much smaller goal and you never laughed at either of them –"

"I'm not laughing at you," Kakashi-sensei said, frustrated, "What Naruto and Sasuke want is not impossible. What you want has never been done before. There have always been Kages and quests for vengeance but your arm is so badly damaged that Tsunade-sama herself cannot heal it. You need to accept it, Sakura."

"I can't be a shinobi in this state! I can't be Senior Nurse, let alone the Kazekage's assistant and bodyguard! You're asking me to accept that I'll never fight or heal again!"

Kakashi appeared taken aback. Sakura nearly laughed out loud. He had honestly expected her to just give up. Oh well, did my best but now my arm's ruined I'm going to settle down into a life of uselessness once more! She scoffed. Maybe before, twelve years old and newly scarred, she would have given up. Happily gave back her hitae-ate and got a new job as an Academy instructor, or something equally tame.

Sakura softened when he looked speechless, "I know you mean well, Kakashi-sensei. But I'm determined. If it all ends badly then I'll just have to accept it but for now I'm not going to just let it go. I have to at least try."

Kakashi rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, "When did you become Naruto?"

There was a polite flare of chakra at the doorway and Sakura looked up to see Temari and Shikamaru.

"Temari! Shikamaru!" Sakura greeted them happily. She had forgotten how worried they must have been, for they could only muster weak smiles at her cheerfulness.

Kakashi got up considerately to offer Temari his seat. She shook her head with a slight smile and settled for standing beside Sakura's bed with Shikamaru holding her hand.

"I'm sorry, Sakura." Temari said simply. Her eyes twitched towards Sakura's near useless hand.

"Don't be. I'm going to heal it." Sakura said firmly.

Shikamaru gave a lazy grin, "Never doubted you for a second. You know you're gonna be a legend now, right?"

A confused frown creased Sakura's forehead, "What?"

"The Rokudaime's ex-teammate, defeated Akasuna no Sasori, survived torture from the Akatsuki and never said a word –" Shikamaru drawled, but was interrupted by Temari hitting his shoulder, outraged.

"Shikamaru!"

"It's fine. It's true after all. I wonder if I'll get a title?" Sakura said, eyes twinkling mischievously.

"Too many visitors!" Chie burst into the room, "The Kazekage explicitly said two visitors or less!"

"That's OK, Chie-san, he's not a visitor." Sakura lied, pointing at Kakashi.

"He isn't?" Chie said suspiciously.

"No, he's my guard."

"Oh." Chie's eyes grew wet instantly, "Of course. I'm so sorry, Sakura-chan."

Chie was a lovely woman, Sakura thought, but she took things to heart to easily.

The nurse, seemingly wanting to do something useful, came over and adjusted Sakura's pillows.

"Are you in any pain?" Chie asked.

Kakashi watched silently.

"My back's started to sting a little." Sakura admitted with a grimace.

"When did it start hurting?"

"This morning."

Chie looked exasperated. You were supposed to report signs of the numbing wearing off straight away, but Sakura had been distracted by her visitor to give the stinging much thought.

The older nurse gestured for Sakura to turn around. She rolled over, lying down on her stomach.

"This will hurt for a bit." Chie warned, injecting a numbing agent into her spine. It was designed to block pain signals from reaching the brain, but allowed basic movement, whereas before the pain relief rendered the patient totally immobile.

Sakura winced at the feeling of metal digging into her back. Then it was over and she rolled back onto her newly numb back. It felt odd, as though she was lying on marshmallow.

"Who's covering for me as Gaara-san's assistant?" Sakura asked fuzzily, the numbing affecting her jaw and tongue.

"I was," Temari gave a weary sigh, "Gaara's temporarily sacked me because I was annoying him."

Sakura hid a smile. That did sound like Gaara. "How are you annoying him?"

"By nagging him to take breaks and sleep. Also," Temari paused. She looked at Shikamaru, seemingly for support. He just shrugged. Kakashi feigned disinterest, getting out his book, but his eye was sharp and aware, "I'm trying to get him to visit you."

Sakura's smile faltered. Gaara didn't want to see her? "Well, it's only to be expected. He's the Kazekage, he's too busy to –"

"Bull," Temari said bluntly, "He's avoiding you."

Sakura ran her good hand through her hair, wincing whenever she struck a knot or a tangle, "Why?"

"I don't know. Who can tell with Gaara? All I know is, normally an invasion wouldn't stop him seeing if a member of staff was alright."

Sakura avoided Kakashi's inquisitive gaze. Her sensei was more perceptive than he let on. Even she didn't know why Gaara's refusal to visit hurt her so much.

"Tell him I'm fine." Sakura tried to smile but, lying partially numb and bandaged from her toes to her chin, it was difficult. She was quite obviously not fine.

"Oh!" She jolted up in bed, startling Temari and her fiancé. Kakashi never looked away from his beloved book, "Is Kankuro alright? I know he led the shinobi squad that rescued me…"

"He was determined to repay the favour, you know? He couldn't bear seeing Gaara like that – out of his mind with worry. He's totally fine. He never came up against any of Akatsuki. Lost one of his smaller puppets to a trap, but he doesn't care." Temari said carelessly. Sakura knew better, Kankuro would at this very minute probably be mourning the loss of his beloved puppet.

"Out of his mind with worry?" Kakashi-sensei repeated, politely incredulous.

Sakura carefully kept her eyes on a scrape on her hand.

"Gaara cares about all of Suna's residents." Temari said coldly.

"Yes, but Sakura isn't a resident of Suna."

"Yes I am." It was Sakura's turn to look incredulous, "I'm not here on holiday!"

Kakashi just shrugged.

"Temari, you never told Sakura the news." Shikamaru changed the subject hastily.

Temari started in surprise. "I completely forgot. We aren't getting married next month, Sakura; we're postponing it for now."

"What? Why?" Sakura said, aghast.

Temari shifted awkwardly. "We couldn't get married without you there, Sakura."

"Temari!" Sakura said, touched.

"As touching as this is," Kakashi drawled, "Do you two mind if I have a quick word with my student?"

Temari excused herself with an irritated scowl. She dropped a tiny fan in Sakura's lap, her present. Shikamaru slowly followed after her.

Chie seemed reluctant to leave, though Kakashi clearly intended this to be a two-person conversation.

"Chie-san, can I get some water please?" Sakura asked politely.

The older nurse flushed, "Of course!"

Kakashi waited until she left. He got up and locked the door.

"Is all this necessary?" Sakura asked.

"Yep," Kakashi sat back down, "I have news. Tsunade's had a deal going for a while and it's nearly come together. The final nail in the coffin was Orochimaru's death."

Sakura felt herself sway in her bed. She swallowed, feeling sweat begin to bead on her forehead, "Then, Sasuke -?"

"It seems he's the one who killed him. Orochimaru's latest base was ransacked by Konoha Anbu. There was no one there."

Sakura wiped her face absently. Sasuke had killed Orochimaru. How? How had he gotten stronger than his teacher?

"What's this deal Tsunade-sama's been making?"

Kakashi studied her face. He shook his head. "I'm not allowed to tell you. I just want you emotionally prepared. You need to know that it'll be happening soon, and it does concern you."

"But what is happening? Is it a… an arranged marriage or something?"

"No! Although there was that forty-year old lord in…" Kakashi's eye crinkled in a grin.

"Kakashi-sensei, be serious." Sakura scolded him.

He sobered up, "OK. I genuinely can't tell you. But be prepared for the worst."

xxxxxxxx

Sakura, deprived of her usual ice-bath, was unable to sleep that night. She was drenched in sweat, her bad arm was aching and the burns on her legs were beginning to sting again. She could easily summon a nurse but she knew what it was like on the night-shift, deprived of sleep and faced with a hospital full of unhappy patients.

And she was finding it hard looking at Chie, knowing she may never get to where the older woman was. Her own fragile little goal, too small and too personal to admit even to herself. Senior Nurse.

So when the door handle clicked open, Sakura's insides clenched in pure fear. She looked around the room hastily, searching for a weapon. There was nothing! No needles, no handy kunai lying around…

She quickly checked her chakra reserves. Her chakra struggled to flare underneath the numbing medicine.

The door opened. Sakura panicked. Itachi, blood-red eyes gleaming malevolently at her…

Gaara stepped through the doorway quietly. He shut the door behind himself. Sakura, hugely annoyed at being frightened, managed to flare her chakra violently to startle him.

He froze; hand still on the door handle.

"Gaara-san. Visiting hours are up." Sakura called out playfully. The Kazekage could wander around the hospital peeping into every patient's room should the desire take him, he could certainly visit his assistant in the middle of the night if he wanted to.

Gaara turned, face guarded. He just stood there for a moment, looking like there was some internal struggle going on, before he gave in and sat down next to her bed.

"Sakura. I didn't mean to wake you." He said. The bags under his eyes were more pronounced than usual; he looked pale and drawn in the faint moonlight the hospital blinds allowed to spill into the room.

"You didn't, I couldn't sleep."

"Insomnia must be catching." Gaara said, with a self-deprecating shrug.

Sakura watched him closely. His hands were clenched into fists in his lap, his forehead was twisted in barely-concealed anger and he was tense all over. He was beyond furious.

"I'm sorry I got caught –" Sakura started to say, but was interrupted by a popping sound.

They both looked at the gourd's cork rolling on the hospital floor. Sand hissed out of the gourd. Gaara squeezed his eyes shut.

"Gaara…" Sakura said warily.

"Why do you always do that? Accept blame for things you had no control over, act like everything's your fault? How can you possibly sit there and apologise to me for being captured under my watch and brutally tortured?" Gaara was getting visibly more agitated by the second; his hand had reached up to clutch his face.

"Gaara!"

"You can never use your hand again! You're even more scarred than before and it is my fault again!" He exploded with rage.

"Didn't you just get mad at me for blaming myself for things I hadn't done?" Sakura said lightly, trying to point out this little slice of hypocrisy.

"I did this! I let the sand tear strips out of your arm when you lay defenceless; I was the one who was supposed to keep you safe! I'm the Kazekage of this village; they all depend on me…!" The sand whirled around Sakura's bed.

She froze, gripped in fear. This sand had crushed her body once, had gripped her and thrown her and ripped her arm to bloody shreds.

"I let Akatsuki into my village three times! It's my fault!" Gaara howled, his eyes filled with anguish and guilt.

Sakura tried to jump out of the bed to hold him, to grab his shaking shoulders and console him, but only succeeded in sliding off the bed, her IV being ripped out painfully and every injury lit on fire the moment she touched the ground.

She screamed in pure agony.

Gaara sank to his knees next to her, shaking hands inches away from her face, looking horrified.

Sakura flinched away from his touch, quivering in fear. The sand from her nightmares was slithering around the floor, pulling at the bed sheets she was trapped in, sliding over her leg….

"Gaara!" Kankuro yelled, running to his brother's side and dropping down next to him, "Shit!"

Gaara flung his brother away from him with the sand and then froze, seeming to realise what he had done. He slowly gazed at Kankuro, cursing and rubbing his side, before turning to Sakura, blood leaking through her bandages and tears of pain in her eyes.

"Kankuro," He said helplessly.

"I'll deal with this Gaara, you go get some sleep." Kankuro patted his brother on the back and pointed to the door.

Gaara went to leave but looked back once. Kankuro was lifting Sakura back onto the bed carefully. She was crying in pain.

The door clicked shut behind him.

Kankuro had a nasty cut on his forehead and a twisted ankle. Temari had neglected to mention that Kankuro had been hurt and was a patient in the hospital, probably to stop Sakura from worrying.

"Shit, are you OK? I'll get a nurse." Kankuro hurried out of the room.

Sakura's bad hand left lying uselessly on her chest. It had been what had prevented her from getting out of the bed, she had tried to shift her weight to a hand that didn't work and as a result had slipped.

She wiped the tears away furiously. Her cuts had reopened and her burns stung viciously.

One of the bandages on her scarred arm had unravelled slightly, giving her a glimpse of the skin underneath. It was bright red and sticky with blood. Sakura looked around carefully to see if anyone was coming, her breath still coming in ragged gasps.

Her good hand began to glow green. She brushed it over her scarred arm, and watched the redness fade. Breathless with triumph, she prodded the area she had healed. There was no pain. She still had some chakra. She turned over slightly, and let her hand wash away the damage in her lungs. She breathed easily for the first time in days.

Torture couldn't change the fact that she was still a good medic. She could heal herself.

It was so odd… when she had first been scarred, she had reacted so badly… made such a massive fuss. Cried so much about it. Now, it was just like a physical reminder that she needed to get stronger.

All her life she had envied Ino. Envied her beauty, her easy confidence and popularity. Now, she admired Naruto, for his total self-belief and dedication and Lee, for his massive determination to succeed despite the odds stacked against him.

She knew Akatsuki would never just let her go. If they wanted a good medic they would have a good medic. She had to get strong to protect the ones she loved.

She would study hard, heal herself and spend hours training. She refused to wallow in self-pity as she had done so long ago.

"Sakura-chan!" Chie rushed in, hair flying out of her neat bun. She looked shattered from working all night.

"It's OK, Chie-san, I'm fine." Sakura tried to reassure the older nurse, but she worriedly checked her over anyway.

Kankuro stood at the nurse's shoulder, anxiously awaiting the result.

"You took a tumble, right?" Chie said, puzzled.

"Yes, I fell off the bed." Sakura didn't want to admit she had been attempting to hug the Kazekage at the time. In hindsight, it was probably for the best that she had failed. Gaara was not one for hugs.

"Hmmm. Your wounds have opened. I'll have to stitch you up again. No permanent damage though, thank goodness."

Kankuro looked relieved. He looked less fierce than usual, clad in a hospital gown and missing his face-paint.

Chie fussed about for a bit, and then, with a serious warning about rolling over too far in the bed, she finally left them alone.

Sakura inspected the stitching on a wound on her shoulder. Neat as always.

"Sakura… About Gaara… What happened?" Kankuro looked serious.

"I blamed myself for something Gaara didn't think I had any business blaming myself for and then he got upset about my scars and my hand." Sakura reeled off the list of offences she had committed that had upset Gaara so much.

"Oh, right. Yeah, if Gaara tells you don't do something, like blaming yourself for everything, he means: Don't do that or I will reduce you to bloody smears on the ground by accident and then feel horribly guilty about later, "Did you really just fall off the bed?"

"I was trying to hug Gaara, to console him. He looked so upset." Sakura explained, "The IV cord and my bad hand tripped me up."

"Good thing too," Kankuro whistled, "I don't want to think about what he would have done if you had hugged him…"

There was an awkward silence in which they pondered the possible results of the near-hug.

"Listen, Kankuro… thank you for saving me." Sakura said sincerely. Had he not come for her, she knew she'd probably be tortured some more and then forced into a cloak.

He grinned, "Heh, no problem. You saved my life too, remember? I was glad to do it."

"What should I do about Gaara-san?"

"Avoid him like the plague. Seriously. Give him time to think and stew in his guilt, then he'll probably come to visit again and not-quite apologise by giving you another week off work."

"Why was he avoiding me? Why did he choose now, in the middle of the night to come see me?"

"Honestly? He probably felt too guilty. Imagine what it's like for him… he's in charge of a whole village so he thinks every life is his responsibility. When that chuunin reported you missing, he tore apart his office twice and frightened a whole bunch of people. Then your Hokage started blaming him, made him feel even worse about it…" Kankuro scratched his nose, scowling at the memory.

"Tsunade-sama blamed Gaara-san?"

"Jeez, just call him Gaara. And yeah, if calling him a 'snot-nosed brat who can't even protect one kunoichi' means she blamed him then, hell yeah she did. But since she was all weepy and upset at the time Gaara didn't freak out on her, but he took it hard. I'm pretty sure he just couldn't face seeing you injured but acting all cheerful about it and not blaming him." Kankuro gave her a meaningful look.

"And then when I blamed myself…"

"He got mad, yeah."

"I feel awful." Sakura said despondently, "And I can't even apologise."

Kankuro regarded her silently for a while. "I'll do you a favour and talk to him about it, OK? In return for you, when you're better, healing a few old aches in my back."

"I could do it now!" Sakura said eagerly.

Kankuro glared at her.

"…but I won't."

"You need to rest, Sakura. Once you feel better, Gaara won't be so upset." Kankuro said firmly

"Easy for you to say, you don't have to stay in bed all the time and have to be bathed by other people."

"Now, you say that like it's a bad thing but it sounds like heaven to me…" Kankuro grinned.

xxxxxxxx

The walls began to feel like they were closing in. Sakura was bored of seeing the same room everyday. She wanted to go out for walks in the sun, eat onigiri with Gaara again, read dusty medical texts, be able to bathe on her own and save lives in the hospital. It was so frustrating to be in her work but not actually be able to do her work.

Her own patients occasionally visited her.

Kakashi-sensei had dropped by a few times after the first visit, but was frustratingly vague about this deal Tsunade was making and then left three days ago.

Naruto had still not arrived.

Shikamaru and Temari visited everyday. Temari brought little fans and the occasional sweet. Shikamaru brought puzzles so Sakura wouldn't get too bored.

Her mother and grandmother had been informed. Her mother was reportedly devastated. Her grandmother was so furious with the Kazekage that the emissary who had brought the news of Sakura's capture and subsequent injuries actually recommended that the elderly matriarch never be allowed in Suna.

Gaara never came.

Sakura had been in the hospital for three weeks, secretly healing herself more and more at night. She had fixed a problem in her ankle that none of the other nurses had noticed. She had slowly healed all three of her broken fingers. Chie caught on to what she was doing quickly, and chastised her for it.

She had been cautiously taking peeks under the bandages at her ruined hand.

Lee had written another passionate letter. It was genuinely touching to read, despite the ever-present proclamations of YOUTH. Lee seemed completely devastated by what had happened to her and vowed to visit the moment Tsunade stopped giving him so many missions. He wanted to bring Gai-sensei so he could help them both train.

As terrifying as training with Gai and Lee sounded, Sakura couldn't think of better sparring partners in a fight against impossible odds. Everyone had told her that she was better off giving up being a shinobi and a medic. She knew these two would be the ones asking why she wasn't already completely healed and training night and day.

Ino, to Sakura's surprise, had sent a bouquet of flowers that were bred to withstand heat. They promoted good-health and determination. Ino's letter had been sad and reminiscent of the old times, when they had been true best friends. Before Sasuke.

Even after only three weeks, Shikamaru's prediction came true. Everyone was talking about the tragedy that had befallen the Kazekage's apprentice. Tsunade had sent word to Gaara that the rumours of Sakura's ordeal were so far-spread that Sasuke might have found out what had happened. Neither Sakura or Tsunade knew what he'd think or do as a result.

In Sakura's opinion, Sasuke would either file it away as another thing to hate his brother for or he would dismiss the news entirely.

The pale pink and blue flowers Ino had sent her were currently resting in a vase by her bed. Every time a rare breeze blew through the room the scent of the flowers would cheer Sakura up.

She was just inhaling the sweet smell of the flowers and smiling at a polite card from Hinata when the door opened.

Gaara stood in the doorway. He looked stressed and exhausted. Temari had reported that he was working night and day, and was refusing to sleep or rest at all. He and Sakura just stared at each other for a while, neither one of the breaking the silence or their gaze.

She was reminded of the first day they had met again, when she had been crying on her balcony and Gaara had by chance been passing by.

Gaara's tired features settled into a frown and he pushed open the door entirely, letting the light from the hall spill in. He walked in and sat down next to her bed.

His pale green eyes were filled with guilt.

She was so sick of being an object of guilt and pity.

Sakura pushed back her hair with her good hand and smiled. "Let's start again. No more guilt about things that happened in the past."

Gaara looked uncertain.

Sakura held out her hand, her smile lighting up her face, "I'm Haruno Sakura."

Seconds dragged by until Gaara hesitantly raised his hand and lightly held hers.

"I'm Gaara; I have no idea why you are doing this." Gaara said, deadpan.

Sakura solemnly shook the Kazekage's hand.

"Let's be friends." She said gently.

Gaara and Sakura now have a fairly complex relationship, I think? Gaara obviously has triple guilt about Sakura (fought and injured her twice, failed to protect her from Akatsuki…) and Sakura has that residual, instinctive fear of his anger and the sand.

With Gaara I don't think he'd understand relationship upgrades. You'd have to spell it out to him. He's considered Sakura a valued employee (with a nice smile) all this time. Because of this, he has horrible guilt about her injuries and feels ashamed that he couldn't keep her safe.

Sakura has to confirm with Gaara that they are not just Boss and Employee, they are friends too. This should lessen the guilt-factor. Also, Gaara may appear fairly sarcastic in this story but he's actually deadly serious, lol.

Kakashi is rude about Gaara because his student got horribly tortured within months of his care. Fair enough.

Questions to be answered later on: Where is Naruto? What is the deal Tsunade is making? How will it affect Sakura? Will Akatsuki try to capture Sakura again? Can Sakura heal herself and…. you get the idea.

Quick poll take: Should Sakura be able to heal herself?

A: Yes, a triumphant underdog story warms the heart. Character development through overcoming struggles.

B: No, we like to kick them while they're down. Character development through accepting failure.

C: Partially, as in, no healing or shinobi stuff, but being able to hold things and feel with her bad hand. Character development in learning her limits and boundaries.

D: Any other outcome… you can provide reasons if you want to.

Sorry for taking so long to update!