7 Years Before

I awoke to the sound of water dripping. I felt the throbbing pain in the back of my head and I groaned loudly before I could stop myself. I concentrated on the sounds around me, but all I could hear was dripping water and my erratic breathing. I tried to open my eyes, but all I could see was darkness. I realized then that my hands were bound behind my back along with my legs bound together at the ankles and I had something covering my eyes. If I could just get it off I might be able to see where I am. But finding out where I was would only create bigger questions, like who took me, and why.

A million things ran through my head and all I could focus on was not being able to finish reading my mother's diary. I would never know what she needed me to know. What she eventually paid the price of her life for. All of that just poof gone. Just like that.

NO.

I will get out of here and I will read that journal if it is the last thing I do. But first I have to figure out where I am and what happened.

Since my hands and legs were bound and nothing I tried could get them untied, I stopped trying. I changed the way I was lying on the floor and turned my head towards the floor and maneuvered it in a way to pry the blindfold off. You would think it would be easy, but it took me ten minutes before it even moved an inch. Dragging my head across the stone floor didn't help the pounding in head either.

I stopped when I heard voices. They were distant and hard to hear, but I could make out some of their conversation.

"How long are we keeping her here?"

"Until she learns–"

The voices had moved further away from me and I couldn't make out anymore of the conversation. I tried again to get the blindfold off of my head and this time I was in luck. When I opened my eyes, I found it still hard to see and discovered it to be nightfall. I would have to wait until morning in order to figure out where was.

Looking around the room I could still make out some things in the dark. There was a large chain and handcuffs hanging behind me from the wall, I wasn't connected to it but it still scared me nonetheless.

I was right next to the door of my prison. It looked to be all wood but there was a small opening at the bottom where light was peaking in. There was a glass sitting there and a straw sticking out of it. I crawled or rather dragged myself toward the cup and put my nose above it to smell. It seemed to be tea or some sort of herbal drink. I took a small sip from the straw and it tasted awful. I gagged as I forced it down my throat.

But oddly enough the banging in my head ceased momentarily and I was overcome with the feeling of empowerment. Well the person in charge seems to care about my health at least.

Within minutes of being healed I started to feel drowsy. I knew I shouldn't have drunk the stuff. I'm so stupid.

Who would want me drugged and asleep?

Well whoever it was, they were sure going to get their wish. I swear when I get my hands on them, I will kill them.

But my father would come for me. After all I am the only family he has left. But how could he have let them overpower him to get to me? They must have him locked in here somewhere too. The terror started to come in waves until my eyes forced themselves closed and my brain couldn't handle being awake. I once again drifted into the darkness of dreamless sleep…

-The Circle-

Jonathan POV

3 Months Before

It was a hot summer this year and the days seemed to be growing longer, even though it was impossible. It was moments like this when I missed my father the most. Thinking about the impossible always made me think of the scenarios he would come up with for training. He really was a remarkable man, and he taught me things I would one day teach my children like survival skills and how to determine other people's characters or intentions just by looking at them. This came in handy most of the time, especially during our hunts.

The Circle is the greatest thing I could have ever hoped to be a part of. I was one of the most important members, I knew that and my father knew it was meant to happen before he died. In fact, the only member of the Circle higher than me is Seraphina Morgenstern, the boss's daughter. There wasn't anything special about her besides her bloodline. She would just be an average Shadowhunter, if her last name weren't Morgenstern. I knew this wasn't true of course. After all we were both experiments long before we were born. She has a special give of the angels and I do as well but no one knows about my gifts, not even Seraphina. The same angel blood runs through our veins, and I'm sure in another life we would have been made for each other. However, this wasn't the case. She didn't reach my standards, but Isabelle Lightwood was perfect.

There I go again wishing for things that will never happen. Our families didn't get along very well, or should I say our mothers don't get along. Maryse Lightwood has always hated my mother because she was a great friend to Amatis Graymark. Amatis was my father's first wife and the love of his life. He never talked about his first marriage to me, but mother never left me in dark. She always knew that Stephen loved Amatis and would always love Amatis. She explained to me that is how the Herondales love, completely and forever. I hope I love like that one day, to completely belong to someone and to have someone forever. A feeling I haven't even begun to grasp.

"Distracted Jonathan?" Valentine appeared behind me, and I looked at him with wide eyes. I didn't jump though; I never jumped. No true Shadowhunter would be scared so easily. Valentine looked the same as always, dressed in a nice suit that made him look sophisticated and intimidating. I've always looked up to Valentine, ever since I can remember.

"Just appreciating the scenery, sir," sir was a much better noun than master or your majesty. It would be strange to call him either of those things. I hope one day I'll be able to lead in his place after he grows too old or dies. I want someone to look up at me with this kind of respect. "Don't worry mother and I are leaving soon, and I will be gone until the next meeting."

"Actually Jonathan there is a matter that I need to speak with you about," Valentine looked uncomfortable, but his eyes held a gloomy gaze. He certainly was a confusing man, but he was someone to be admired.

"What's this about, Valentine?" I asked trying to sound exasperated, but failed due to my growing curiosity.

"Actually it's nothing of great importance, just something I've gathered from keeping a close eye on you. Your relationship with Ms. Lightwood is beyond friendship, am I wrong?" Valentine asked, but clearly he already knew the answer.

"Well sir I hope one day it is far beyond friendship, but as of right now we do not have a relationship past acquaintanceship," I stated because one day I did hope to marry her. She was beautiful and no one deserved that beauty more than me. I was the most attractive man in Idris and I was far more beautiful than any mundane man. Us being together should just be a given, who else are we supposed to be with? I could learn to love her, sometimes I think I do, but then I see her and I'm not sure.

"Did you have something you wanted to say about it?" I asked after an awkward silence.

"I think you would be a great leader one day, Jonathan. But sadly you are not my blood and therefore you cannot possibly be the next leader of the Circle. It's too important to my family and I to be led by anyone outside of the bloodline. I'm sorry Jonathan and I hope you one day have a family much like my own," Valentine sounded proud and sad. Valentine's wife had died during childbirth and my mother told me of his first son dying in a freak accident. I always wondered how Valentine could go on without them, but he had Seraphina of course. What was so special about this girl?

"Seraphina would take over then?" I ask after trying and failing to calm myself down. In the end I just stared at him. How could he give the Circle over to a child?! She had never even been to a meeting before, let alone a hunt. She would never make it as leader. The whole mission would be put at risk. With the Accords coming in only a year, we needed to plan and this couldn't distract me now.

"Well yes of course and her husband would take the leader role because no woman should handle that responsibility. She will take care of their family and he will take over the Circle. He may even take our name because I hope Seraphina can carry on the Morgenstern's past her generation," Valentine explained leaving little room for questions.

"You seem like you have already planned everything out. Tell me, who is this gentleman that Seraphina has married? Do I know him?" not that I truly cared, honestly I'd like to shake his hand for marrying that.

"That's the complication I have at the moment. She isn't married yet, and she doesn't have an interested suitor either. Every time I have her meet a possible one, she uses a rune to scare him away. Honestly it is tiring and I plan on sending her away to other Institutes until she finds a mate," Valentine states. His voice sounds like he's hoping for something.

"Don't tell me I was one of those suitors, was I?" by the Angel I hoped it wasn't true. There was no telling exactly what those runes could do and I knew I never wanted to be on the end of her stele. Christ, what did the little bitch do to me?! I started to look on my arms to see any rune I had previously not seen before when Valentine interrupted my search.

"No Jonathan, Seraphina doesn't like you. She always is making excuses to miss training when you are around. It wouldn't be worth it for you two. Well it might be worth it for you, but I don't want my daughter married just so that her husband can lead the Circle. That would be unfair of me and I have always tried to be a good father to her. I only ask of you to think of a gentleman that could be a possible suitor," Valentine asking for advice was honestly pathetic. How could I choose a man for a child to marry, who would always matter more than me? This boy would be practically royalty and his children would rule after him. I would be nothing, and my children would be nothing. "And the runes she uses on these suitors are sometimes permanent. I wouldn't want you to at risk, you are one of my prime members," the very thought of her runes made me cringe involuntarily.

Valentine had trained her well for her abilities. He was always bragging to the Circle about her. It was one of the reasons I disliked her before I met her. When I finally did meet her it was because our fathers wanted our families to mingle. When Valentine said "his family" he was always only talking about Seraphina. He never spoke about the family he had lost and a part of me admired his confidence in his daughter. Seraphina was about ten when I met her for the first time, and I had been eleven. Little did we know that we would be spending a lot of time together training, but it was true how she would skip training when I was around. Valentine would always excuse her and say she was studying in the library, but I knew better now.

"Do you think she could ever like me? If I tried to get through to her? I think if any man has a shot, it's me," I suggested. It was an impossible idea, but I had to try. I had to try for my family's sake.

"Do you want to try Jonathan? I can't say I'm not surprised, I always thought the aversion between you two was mutual," he was right, but I couldn't tell him that.

"She is beautiful," by the Angel where did that come from. I was lying through my ass at this point. I hadn't realized how far I would have to go with this. I wanted this more than I thought.

"Yes she is, much like her mother was. Many people don't see her beauty until it's too late. Much like her previous suitors. They realized she was a prized possession much too late and they were already in Seraphina's hands. She can be cruel when someone tries to claim her. It has been so difficult with her recently. She is always leaving late at night and coming back before dawn. It's peculiar and I need her to be with someone who will protect her," he sounded like a desperate man. He really did love her, and it was strange to see how much a father could love his daughter. It made me think about how parents see their children. The man in front of me was talking about a girl I knew well, a girl who didn't deserve the look of love on her father's face. She wasn't anything special. Seraphina is only what she was born into; she is a Morgenstern period, and that's all she will ever be.

"I can protect her, Valentine. I want to be this for you. It's the least I can do after everything you have done for my family since my father died. I owe you more than my own life," I pleaded with him hoping for this chance. I needed to do this for me. If he let me I would become the most powerful Shadowhunter of my generation and many others. No one would come above me. All would respect me; even the Clave would have to respect me. Not that I truly cared what the Clave thought of me, but still. I would be considered Valentine's son and he would trust me the most.

"Well then by the Angel Jonathan I hope you can," Valentine smiled at me and it was only then that I began to question what I just said. Did I just agree to be Seraphina Morgenstern's husband? It was true that I owed Valentine my life, but this? What have I just gotten myself into..?

-The Circle-

1 Month Before

There I was again tonight

Forcing laughter, faking smiles

Same old tired lonely place

"Seraphina isn't this dress perfect? It will look fantastic tonight. Your father will have a heart attack once all of his 'crew' only has eyes for you. Now you know the plan right?" Magnus asked.

"Don't you think this is a bit much, Magnus? It's just a party after all," I insisted. Though looking at the mirror I thought I looked good. The dress I had been forced to put on was the exact shade of my eyes, a dark emerald green, and it showed off my curves nicely. It was strapless and had a sort of heart shape around my chest, and it flowed the rest of the way down to my high-heeled toes along with some crystal jewels starting in the middle of my chest down to the waist on my left side. If I hadn't been raised a warrior I doubt I would look anything like I do. I would probably be incredibly thin, flat chested, and short. I only have one of those traits now, which is that I am extremely short, but high heels are a girl's best friend and I never go anywhere without them. I never had a problem with the way women dress as long as it isn't dresses; I hate dresses so the fact that I was wearing one now was beyond me. It's just that I also hate them for what they cake onto their faces every single day.

Which is exactly what I didn't like when I looked in the mirror. From the neck down I was okay with how I looked, however the neck up was a different story. My face looked unrecognizable and I told Magnus as such, but he only replied with, "Isn't that the whole point of this?"

He had a point I guess, but somehow I doubted I could pull this whole thing off.

"I don't know if this is such a good idea Mags, my father will know. This is the kind of subject I cannot lie about. When it comes to the opposite gender all I know is where to punch to give them the most amount of pain possible. Dancing and flirting aren't my forte and I'm just going to fail, " I muttered the last part not really wanting Magnus to hear about my fear of failure.

"Seraphina have some trust. Your father won't suspect a thing because this is nothing compared to everything else you've ever lied about. I can't believe you don't see the big picture here. This is just a step on your way to freedom. Once you get your father off your back we can get down to business like before," Magnus restated the same speech for the sixth time and it still was not making me feel any better.

I looked at the mirror and shrugged. Magnus turned around as I took the dress off because he knew how I felt about privacy. Plus there were always the scars I didn't want anyone else to see: the scars that reminded me of who I was, the scars that made me who I am, were the scars of the ten year old me. I quickly put back on my tight fitting clothes and grabbed my leather jacket from a chair next to the mirror in Magnus's house.

"I'll be back in a few hours to get ready, you'll help me won't you? I might need a few more pep talks before I go through with this thing," I hesitated by the door.

"Of course Seraphina. I might need your advice too about a certain blue eyed hottie," Magnus told me with a wink. I laughed at him and left. I started to turn towards the walkway home but thought better of it and decided to go the long way through the woods. In a strange way I found it easier to think when surrounded by nature. I was contemplating how tonight was going to turn out and before I even realized it I had spent hours in the woods. With a sigh I turned around and walked right back to Magnus's hoping he could talk me into this again.

Walls of insincerity,

Shifting eyes and vacancy

Vanished when I saw your face

I was officially having the worst time of my life. I had danced with too many men and I felt disgusting. They all looked at me with pure lust and I hated it. I was itching for the stele hidden in my thigh clasp, but Magnus and my father wouldn't appreciate it if I ruined the ball. After all the ball was for me so that I could find the perfect husband. Only in my dreams is that possible. In my dreams all I wanted to feel was safety. I wanted to wake up from a nightmare and be enclosed in his arms, like he was protecting me from the nightmares.

The arms these men had around me were sloppy and sweaty. I had finally had enough after the seventh man stepped on my foot while drabbling on and on about his parabatai.

"Will you excuse me for a minute, Bill? I have to use the bathroom," I said while trying to pry his hands off me.

Lucky for me his arms automatically dropped and he answered with, "My name is Will." He turned around and stormed off. It took all of my control not to laugh out loud.

I searched around the room and caught eyes with Magnus who seemed to find my situation amusing. Well he can go straight to hell. This was his bright idea, and it was a horrible one at that. I turned to the direction of the grand hallway and started walking. As soon as I was out of the ballroom I headed for the library. I could guarantee I wouldn't be interrupted while I tried to calm down.

When I turned the cold brass knob I felt slightly better. I quickly came in and locked the door. As soon I pulled out my witchlight from my brassiere I took a deep breath, and I instantly stopped feeling suffocated.

I moved to my favorite spot in the whole manor, the window seat and looked at the pile of books I had left there yesterday. My rune book was among them so I took it out and started looking through it: anxiety, indestructible, blocking of the mind, heartache, and compassion along with hundreds of others. Some of these had side effects that I didn't fully understand because I had only tried them once. I never pressed too hard because I didn't know if any of the side effects were permanent. I gently closed the book knowing inspiration wouldn't hit me tonight. I was too stressed out, not even the angels could help me now.

I looked towards the full moon and contemplated how stupid I had been to think it would be easy to go along with my father's plan. In fact in order to go along with Magnus's plan I had to go along with Valentine's as well. For Bane's plan I needed time without my father pestering me all the time. The only way that was possible was to agree to his crazy scheme of marriage. All my father wanted from this arrangement was a leader for his precious Circle. What I wouldn't give to have him just leave me alone. A part of me thinks he is so persistent because he is scared of dying. That he thinks he could die when the Accords happen. Hell I'd be lying if I said I didn't want that to happen.

I felt the air in the room change and I knew I wasn't alone, but before I could turn around to see who it was a familiar voice interrupted my thoughts.

All I can say is it was enchanting to meet you.

Your eyes whispered, "Have we met?"

Across the room your silhouette,

Starts to make its way to me.

The playful conversation starts,

Counter all your quick remarks

Like passing notes in secrecy

"Well you are the last person I expected to see in here tonight. Especially since you have hundreds of suitors just outside that door. You know in a dress like that you leave so much room for imagination, you being in here is stopping those men from their precious fantasies and I gotta say Phina, that's extremely selfish of you," I turned around and was meet with the gloomy gaze of Jonathan Herondale.

"Is that you're way of complimenting me, Herondale? That's actually kind of cute of you to tell me I look hot," I responded with a tight smile ready for anything he might throw at me.

"Whoa there little girl, I never said you looked hot," Jonathan looked a little annoyed but that's how it always was when we had "conversations".

"I simply thought it was implied with the look you gave me. If you weren't undressing me with your eyes, then I'm secretly an Ahiab demon. Oh and my name is not little girl, you know I hate when you call me that."

"Well then let me be responsible for cleaning out your aquarium, or should I just get my seraph blade ready?"

"You know I could beat you in a fight easy, Herondale."

"Without a stele, Morgenstern."

"But that's not a fair fight."

"How is it not? You're a Shadowhunter; one of the Nephilim. You do not need to power of the angel's symbols to help you in a battle against evil. You are viciously trained by one of the best fighters that ever lived and you can't do it?" Jonathan insisted.

"You know that's not it. I have a special gift with the symbols and I should be able to use them while I'm fighting. Just like you're allowed to use your power of combat skills. Believe it or not Jonathan you are a better at hands on fighting than I am. We're both special. We just have different specialties," I countered.

He didn't answer me just looked at me in a way I had never seen from him before. For the first time in however many years I had known him, Jonathan Herondale didn't seem to have any form of loathing in his eyes. In its place I found…gratitude? I wasn't really sure, but it was something that wasn't negative.

"By the way, I couldn't help but think you were going to dash out on the ball, were you Herondale?"

"Oh you wish Morgenstern. No, if I wanted your father to hate me I would have simply asked you to dance, not ditch the entire party. He made this ball thing mandatory for all the men in the Circle. He must really want to get you hitched. How does it feel to be forced to marry someone you don't like?" he asked me curiously.

How do I answer that when I don't know? This whole situation is new to me.

"Well by that comment I can't help but feel as if you secretly do wish to dance with me, Herondale. As for the rest of that little speech of yours, I'm not surprised about my father and I have no idea do to the fact that I still haven't found anyone that I would be okay with marrying," I answered as truthfully as possible.

"Well let's go find out if we can find you a husband, shall we?" Jonathan held out his hand for me and I took it not knowing what exactly he had in store for me.

And it was enchanting to meet you.