Alim packed his few possessions and prepared to leave Skyhold. He had done just about as much politicking as he could stand. He'd won the few alliances he'd come here to get. He'd also schooled everyone who stood still long enough why the Inquisitor's choice to keep the Grey Wardens was the right one.
More importantly, the aching heart he'd carried for years had finally had a chance to heal. Meeting Cullen again had been wonderful and Alim hadn't even realized how badly he'd needed the chance to talk to his old love. The past had been finally cleansed and Alim could move on.
The time on the battlements had spooked him; apparently, somewhere deep down, he had wanted Cullen to kiss him at that moment. He wanted to leave before anything else could happen. The last thing he needed was to end up carrying a one-sided romance for Cullen again, so soon after being cured of the last one.
A knock at the door surprised Alim, it was well after most of Skyhold was asleep.
"Come in," Alim allowed. His brows shot up when Cullen came into the room.
"Sorry for the late hour but I wanted to talk with you." He came into the room and shut the door behind him. He glanced at Alim's bag on the chair, already packed and ready to go. "So you are leaving," he said sadly.
Alim rubbed the back of neck, feeling guilty. "I was thinking of heading out in the morning. I didn't want to make a fuss. How did you guess?"
Cullen gave him a strange, almost sad look. "I know you well enough to guess."
The elf looked at the floor, he didn't know how to reply to that.
Cullen stepped further into the small room until he was just an arm span away from Alim. "You ran away from me once. I had to be told the next day that you had gone and it was one of the worst moments of my life. Don't do it again, Alim. Please."
"I-" Alim was surprised at Cullen's reaction, they hadn't talked about Alim being forced to leave the Circle before. "I didn't run from you. I was forced to leave the tower."
Cullen nodded, "I figured as much. However, the point stands. Sneaking out in the night…" He half reached for Alim before stopping himself
"I know, but I need to for my own sake. It's a self-preservation thing." He gave Cullen a weak smile.
That admission was all the invitation Cullen needed, he put a hand on either of Alim's shoulders. "I can accept that you have to go. But promise me you will come back."
Alim sighed, he ran a hand through his hair. "Maybe. I don't know."
Cullen made a frustrated noise, "Don't tell me that I'm the only one who thought these past weeks…"
"No, you're not the only one," Alim flushed a little, he'd tried to tell himself that it was only him and Cullen hadn't noticed. "But what good can come from it? We're both too old and wise to rush into something just because it feels good."
Cullen made a dismissive noise, "Too old? You make it sound like we are ancient."
Alim smiled, "Then compared to before, we are older and wiser."
The blonde smiled back, "Yes we are. Which is why I'm not letting you slip away again, not without letting you know how much I wish you would stay."
Maker help me, Alim thought, he'd always been weak to that smile.
"I don't think I can take another heartbreak," Alim said softly.
"Neither can I," Cullen agreed, "so say you'll come back and neither of us will go through that again."
Alim smiled, maybe it was the lingering foolish part of his heart, but he couldn't really refuse Cullen, especially not when he was saying the things that Alim had longed to hear for years.
With a slight tremble, he raised up on his toes and gave Cullen a light kiss, barely caressing his mouth. For a moment neither one of them moved, Alim looking into Cullen's eyes, their lips almost touching.
The next moment they were kissing, Cullen's mouth eagerly exploring Alim's. Everything felt so similar but so different. They kissed hotly, both of them almost desperate suddenly, as if they could make up for lost time. Alim wrapped his arms around Cullen's neck, their height difference meant Cullen was probably going to break his back soon. The elf swung his legs around Cullen's waist, climbing up the taller man. Cullen's hands cupped under Alim's butt, holding him snuggly, they didn't break their kiss while they moved.
When they finally pulled back for a breath Alim noticed Cullen's soft eyes had darkened with desire. He pressed his forehead against Alim's for a moment before moving his mouth to Alim's neck.
Alim's legs clenched around Cullen's waist, it had been far too long since he'd felt this way. He ran his fingers through Cullen's precious blonde curls, noticing that Cullen moaned softly when he did. Alim wished he remembered enough of that night years ago to know if Cullen had always been sensitive on his scalp.
Deft fingers made quick work of Cullen's furry mantle, it fell to the ground and Cullen raised a brow at Alim for a moment. Alim answered him with a smirk.
Cullen chuckled and kissed Alim's lips again. Clothes went flying after that, the small room became littered with various articles from the both of them. It ended with Alim on his back on the bed, Cullen stripping him of his last garment while he already stood totally nude.
"So you still don't wear small clothes?" Alim asked with a breathless smile.
Cullen laughed, "So you remember that? No, I never have."
Alim couldn't help but compare the body above him with the one in his memory. Cullen was in some ways very similar, the same lovely broad shoulders, tan skin, and dreamy smile. However, he was even more muscular now than he had been in the past, his skin was no longer the smooth teenager's skin, it had seen battles and came out looking even better than he had before. Alim sat up and ran his palms greedily over Cullen's torso, grinning up at Cullen.
The blonde touched Alim's hands, rubbing down his arms, "I remember your skin was so smooth and soft." He said, thumbing over a few of Alim's own scars.
"Well I'd never been outside the tower."
Cullen smiled, "We've both changed since then." He brought Alim's hand up to his mouth and kissed his palm. "Which is probably for the best." He added with a twinkle in his eye.
Alim blushed a little when Cullen kissed his palm, somehow that felt startling more intimate than sitting naked in front of him.
"Some things are still the same." Alim said with a little smile, "You're still far too charming." He teased.
Cullen laughed and put a knee on the bed, climbing over Alim, "And you are still too captivating." He kissed Alim, pushing him down on the bed. Their hands were still clasped together and Cullen pressed their hands above Alim's head. Alim took his free hand and explored Cullen's back, feeling every part of his warm skin.
They were both growing hard and wanting, ever kiss and caress sending a higher wave of arousal through Alim. His brain hadn't caught up with the situation thankfully, so Alim was simply delighting in the joy of being under the only person he'd loved.
"Alim, I…" Cullen stuttered, "That is to say… I…"
Alim smiled, "That's something that really hasn't changed. You still get hopelessly tongue tied."
Cullen flushed a little but cracked a small smile, "Only around you."
That comment made Alim go beat red, blushing furiously.
"And you're still the same," Cullen teased, "Very susceptible to flattery." Cullen kissed a bright red cheek.
"What were you trying to say though?" Alim said a little breathlessly, his insides still felt full of butterflies for some reason.
Cullen kissed him, avoiding the question for a moment. He pulled back a little, leaning on one elbow over Alim, "I was trying to say…" He took a steadying breath, "That for me, it's always been just you. Only you. I've never loved or had anyone else."
Even though Alim considered himself a level headed person these days, tears were definitely threatening. He squeezed Cullen's hand, "It's the same for me." He agreed with a watery smile.
He pulled Cullen down for another kiss, wrapping his legs around Cullen's waist. They were grinding against each other, both growing harder.
"Alim?" Cullen said between kisses.
"I'm on it." Alim said, guessing what Cullen was talking about. He got off the bed for a moment and rummaged in his pack. Greater Warmth Balm was actually found pretty commonly throughout Thedas and had a variety of uses, lube was one of them.
Cullen accepted the little jar with a smile, "Remember that you didn't even know what it was for?"
Alim blushed as he laid back down on the bed, "Shush, you. I could mention a few things that you probably don't want to be reminded of."
Cullen held up his hands in surrender, "Fair enough."
A little shyly, Alim spread his legs again so Cullen could kneel between them. In Alim's mind the image kept overlapping with the scene from years past.
They kissed softly while Cullen started fingering Alim open. It felt better than it had that first time, but some of that was probably that they were both far less nervous than they'd been before. Now it felt natural and relaxed to be together like this, they were endangering their lives for one night together.
Alim shivered in delight underneath Cullen, he gasped when Cullen found the bundle of nerves and he dug his fingers into Cullen's strong arms. Cullen kissed him a little harder, reacting to Alim's increased pleasure.
Cullen shot him a quick smile and then started kissing his way down Alim's chest. He licked Alim's nipples for a moment, sucking on the hard buds before moving on lower. When he dipped his tongue in Alim's bellybutton the elf's toes curled.
"You're not going to…?" Alim said a little shakily.
The blonde smiled, "I was planning on it, I wanted to back then but was too impatient. Is that alright?"
Alim nodded happily, not trusting his voice. He balled his fists in the sheets when Cullen licked a trail up Alim's hot cock. His wet mouth closed over Alim's length and Alim ran his fingers through the soft blonde curls while Cullen patiently worked Alim open.
"Cullen, stop for a minute." Alim said urgently.
Cullen pulled off, "What?"
"I'd rather come with you instead of by myself." Alim said with a little blush.
"Then you're ready?" Cullen asked a little breathlessly.
Alim smirked, he pushed Cullen's shoulder, "Lean back for a minute."
With a little frown Cullen did as he was bid, waiting for an explanation.
"Now, sit back." Alim arranged Cullen how he wanted, with Cullen sitting on the bed with his legs in front of him. Alim climbed into Cullen's lap, his knees on either side of Cullen's thighs.
Cullen smiled as he realized what Alim intended, he kissed Alim deeply, his tongue sliding along Alim's own.
Steading his breath, Alim put his hands on Cullen's muscular shoulders and slowly sank deeply onto Cullen's length. The blonde kissed his neck and whispered encouraging words as Alim dropped to the hilt and then let his body adjust to the intrusion.
Alim kissed him softly and then started moving, gently rocking his hips up and down a little. He slowly picked up speed as it became easier to move. They kissed breathlessly, Cullen and Alim moving together, working toward their mutual pleasure.
Afterwards, they lay in bed together, facing each other, limbs still entwined.
"So you have to go?" Cullen said at last.
Alim nodded slowly, "Yes. And you're leading your troops out on your own mission."
Cullen kissed him softly, "It's like you said, we are being pulled in opposite directions."
They kissed leisurely, both enjoying the comfort of the moment.
"This time though, we'll find one another afterwards right?" Cullen ran his hands gently through Alim's hair.
"Yes." Alim promised, "I'm not going to give up again."
Cullen smiled, "I wouldn't let you."
Alim kissed Cullen, "I'll hold you to that."
Slowly they both started to drift off to sleep. "Cullen? Do you need to be gone before sometime raises the alarm that the Commander is missing?" Alim asked, suddenly concerned.
The blonde chuckled, "That would really spoil your easy exit."
Alim rolled over to his stomach and leaned up on his elbows, "Oh I don't know, all that commotion… It might be easy to slip out."
Cullen sat up, "No way. If I go down I'm taking you with me."
Alim laughed, both of them smiling at one another.
"I still am going to keep my promise."
"To not let me give up?" Alim asked, sitting up and putting his arms around Cullen's neck.
"Well that one. But also, if you remember, I swore years ago that I would get a full night with you. I intend to keep that promise next time."
Alim smiled, he did remember now that Cullen mentioned the promise. He kissed Cullen lightly, "Please do."
With a little grumble, Cullen got to his feet and put his clothes back on.
"I can't help but feel that as soon as I walk out that door…" Cullen said sadly, not even finishing his sentence.
"I'll come back." Alim promised, "You may have to remind me why I came back but I will."
Cullen smiled and bent over to kiss Alim who was still sitting on the bed, "I'll remind you as many times as it takes that I love you."
"I love you too." Alim sealed his vow with a kiss.
The next morning was drizzly and grey when Leliana attended the Inquisitor at the war table.
"It seems the Hero left in the night." She reported.
The Inquisitor was stunned and Cassandra looked angry, making a disgusted noise. Cullen on the other hand, was suspiciously quiet.
"Are your scouts tracking him? We cannot lose him again." Cassandra demanded.
"They are trying but I doubt they will be successful." Leliana knew too well how good her friend was at avoiding her people.
"Did he leave a note or anything?" The Inquisitor asked.
"No." Josephine said sadly.
" The only thing my people found left in his room was a runestone." Leliana added.
"A runestone?" Cullen perked up, no longer able to hide his interest.
"That is correct." Leliana purposely moved on, "At any rate, we will have to do without him again."
"So about the situation in the Arbor Wilds..." Cassandra started, pulling out a report of her own.
"Wait a moment," Cullen said urgently.
Cassandra paused at the unexpected interruption.
"Was there something else?" The Inquisitor asked.
"Well…" Cullen cleared his throat a little. "What rune was it?"
Leliana smiled a little when Cullen couldn't hide his interest, "Oh I'm not sure, I gave it to Dagna as I didn't see any importance in the object."
The Inquisitor hid a smile, he was always quick on the uptake, "Leliana…" He said with a little disapproving tone.
Leliana took the rune out of her pocket, "It's 'valiance', though what the importance of that is, I am uncertain."
Cullen held his hand out and Leliana passed him the stone.
"If you are quite done mooning about, I'd like to get back to the matter of the Temple?" Morrigan huffed.
Cullen ran his fingers over the writing in the stone, holding it tight. With a smile, that Leliana didn't even knew he possessed, he put it in his pocket and turned his attention back to Morrigan.
"Yes, it's finally time to move and put an end to this madman." Cullen said with a passion that Leliana guessed was entirely motivated by the gift the Hero had left.
It was later that week while digging through his pack for a potato that must have fallen to the bottom, Alim found something that shouldn't be there. An eyebrow raised he pulled out a book from the bottom of his bag. He grinned when he saw it was 'Why the Templar kneels'.
"Oh Leliana, you are my favorite." Alim eagerly opened the book, excited to finally read it. A small note fell out of the pages, Alim set the book down and opened the note.
After we hunted for Leliana all day today she found me and gave me this book. I'm surprised she did, I would have sworn she'd use it for blackmail at some point, maybe you being at Skyhold has made her go soft.
I changed my mind, you should read this. I hope it makes you smile and remember me fondly. I'm putting this in your bag as soon as I get the chance, I wouldn't be surprised if I woke up one morning to find you gone. Maybe if you read this you'll even find an inspiration to come back to me. -Cullen
Alim read the note several times, smiling and shaking his head in disbelief. He couldn't believe that Cullen had given him this book a while back. Moreover, there was the sweet note, even before their night together Cullen had wanted him to come back.
Still grinning Alim opened the book, starting the story. He was certainly going to be back in Cullen's arms soon and he was going to bring up something from the book during their reunion.