OMG! I AM SOOOOOOO SORRY! I HAD SUPER BAD WRITERS BLOCK, BUT THEN I GOT SUCKED INTO THIS ONE-SHOT, BUT THEN I REALIZED THAT IT WOULD BE EVEN BETTER IF I JUST ADDED IT TO THIS STORY! KAY, WELL I'M REALLY SORRY! I PROMISE THAT I'LL UPDATE SOONER NEXT TIME CAUSE I'VE WRITTEN QUITE A BIT OF THE "ONE-SHOT" KAY! SO ENJOY!
PLEASE R & R!
My heart sunk. It was an odd feeling because I was comforted by the fact that she wanted me to be with her, but I was discouraged because I was afraid to make any sort of advance towards her. I didn't want her to feel all alone. I don't think that either of us could survive very well without the other.
"I won't go anywhere Liv. I'm staying right here with you."
I grabbed her hand and we walked back to her apartment silently.
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I handed her a beer as I took a seat next to her on her couch. She wasted no time cuddling up to me, and believe me, I was all for that. We sat there silently for a while before I finally worked up the courage to speak.
"Liv, please know that I will never leave you. I'm here for you. Please sweetheart, please don't be afraid that I'll leave you, because I could never in a million years imagine a life without you."
I could feel the silent sobs wracking her body.
"Shhhhh…Liv, it's okay sweetie. Don't cry Liv." I could feel the tears threatening to escape my own eyes.
"Liv, look at me." She slowly turned to look at me, her eyes puffy and her face tearstained. "Oh, Liv…" I sighed as I brought my hand up to her face brushing her tears away with the pad of my thumb. Her gaze slowly lifted from the floor up to me and we stared at each other for quite a while, before she brought her face within inches of mine. As much as I wanted to kiss her and take her right there on the couch, I thought better of it. She was upset and vulnerable and if I let her kiss me I would be taking advantage of her. I didn't want her to regret anything the next morning, so I quickly pulled away, clearing my throat. He eyes popped open and her cheeks were flaming red. "I'm sorry Liv, I got to go. I need to go home, shower and get a little sleep before tomorrow. Remember, you have a really important interrogation tomorrow. I smiled quickly before turning and rushing out the door. I hated leaving her. It had barely been an hour since I had told her that I would never leave her. Now she'll really never want me.
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I stood in the observation room with Fin watching my partner, the beautiful Olivia Benson interrogate Cecilia, our newest suspect. She had murdered a woman to prove her love to a convicted serial rapist. What the fuck had this world come to? I sighed and turned my attention back to the interrogation.
"Robert loves me" Cecilia cried.
"But he didn't want to see you anymore."
"No, he was just having doubts" She insisted.
"I know what it's like growing up without a father. Wishing that you had a man that loved you…unconditionally. I still know what it's like. I live it every day." Olivia sighed.
"I used to feel like, like there was part of me that was missing. I felt hollow. Then I met Robert" Cecilia whimpered.
"And he filled that all."
"Yeah." Cecilia's voice faltered.
"And then just like every other guy, he goes and breaks your heart. I know exactly how that feels too."
"IT'S NOT FAIR! I LOVED HIM! HE WAS SUPPOSED TO LOVE ME BACK!" Cecilia roared.
"I know. When you find somebody you love, they're either off limits or impossible to please. Believe me. I come face to face with that pain each and every day." Her eyes clouded over and I could see the tears forming in her eyes.
How could Olivia say that she doesn't have any man that loves her unconditionally? It's nice to fucking know that I don't count. I love her…There! I finally admitted it to myself…I LOVE OLIVIA BENSON!
I stormed out of the observation absolutely livid. How could she not see how much I love her? I wanted more than anything to just barge into the interrogation room and kiss her. Then I wanted to go kill the bastard who hurt her. Nobody hurts my partner and gets away with it. The next thing I know I'm standing out on the roof looking out over the city. I just can't fathom how she doesn't see how much I love her! It kills me every fucking day to know that I can't have her.
OLIVIA
Cecilia, quite possibly could win a case using the insanity defense. That woman killed to earn the love and approval of a convicted serial rapist.
I sighed walking out of the interrogation room, my thoughts clouded by the events of last night. Everything feels right when I'm with him. I didn't understand what I did wrong. I quickly shoved those thoughts out of my mind. I opened the door of the observation room to see Fin standing there. "Hey Fin, where's Elliot? Wasn't he in here?" I questioned.
"He just stormed out of here baby girl. I don't think that he liked something that you said. It was probably something about no man loving you unconditionally… Come on baby girl, you know that's not true."
"Fine, tell me one person that loves me unconditionally." I looked at him expectantly.
"Me, Elliot, Munch, Cragen…Do you want me to keep going?
I shook my head. "Fin, I don't mean it like that. I have nobody who is in love with me."
"Baby girl, but you know that there's somebody we all know that LOVES you like that."
I stared at him skeptically. "Enlighten me."
"Elliot."
I could feel all of the blood rushing to my cheeks. "He's my partner Fin. He's been my partner for the past nine and a half years. I think I would know if Elliot was in love with me."
"Oh yeah, just like none of us know that you are head over heels for him."
My cheeks flamed even more. Was it really that obvious?
"Does he know that Fin?" I gulped, afraid of his answer.
"Everybody can see how in love you two are with each other, except for the two of you." He looked at me with concern, "That's who you were talking about? Elliot? He's off limits, and it breaks your heart every day to see him because he doesn't show any interest in you."
Tears once again clouded my vision. "Where is he?"
"When he stormed out he mentioned something about the roof."
"Thanks"