Ghosts

Chapter Six

A/N: This chapter contains spoilers for episode 3-06, 'Torn'. As I've said before I plan on incorporating certain aspects of the BSG universe progression into this story, but please realize that this is AU. I've taken what I think fits in with the AU storyline, and it may not follow the 'real' progression exactly. Thanks for reading! D.

Kara and Kat stood in the CAG's office, staring at Lee Adama with something bordering on disbelief. He sat at his desk with several star charts spread in front of him, his expression indecipherable. Kara noted that the time he'd been spending in the gym was paying off; he was looking almost like his old self again.

"Sir, you can't be serious!" Kat's voice contained a trace of a whine. Kara grimaced with distaste at the sound, but bit her tongue. "It will take weeks to search each of these coordinates! If our orders are to focus all of our resources on the search, then we'll be sitting ducks if the cylons find us! It's a bad idea, a really bad idea."

Lee stared at her for a moment then turned his attention to Kara. "Starbuck, you have anything to add?"

It took every ounce of self-control that she had, but she managed to hold her comments back for the moment. "No, Sir. But I agree that it will be like looking for a needle in a haystack. What do we have to go on?"

Lee began rifling through the papers on his desk, finally finding the one he was looking for. He passed it to Kara, who glanced at it then passed it to Kat.

"That's a chart for the Lagoon Nebula. That's what we were searching for before we found New Caprica. Kara, you'd remember it from the Tomb of Athena." Kara nodded, remembering the map of constellations they'd seen while in the Tomb. "Well, last week we were finally in range to jump a raptor to its coordinates, and the area is clear, no sign of cylons. The President wants us to make the jump and take the fleet to the Nebula. She believes it is the next step on the road to Earth."

Kat interrupted, "So if we have the coordinates of the Nebula, why are we sending out every raptor and raptor pilot we have to search these other systems?"

"Based on the research done by Dr. Baltar, the President and the Admiral believe the next step in the search is another Nebula, one shaped like a lion's head. Mr. Gaeta compiled a list of possible systems, and we'll be deployed from the Lagoon Nebula to explore those systems."

Kara couldn't hold it in any longer. "To search for a 'lion's head'?" The sarcastic tenor in her voice was unmistakeable.

Lee shot her a warning look. "We've both seen stranger things, Starbuck. And we've both acted on information that was much more vague than this. Do I have to be the one to remind you about your little hijacking stunt when you jumped back to Caprica? For an arrow?"

"Point taken, Sir." She nodded once at him. Better to have a vague direction than none at all, she supposed. "So they trust the information Baltar left, then? Just like that?"

"Mr. Gaeta is double checking everything, and he is convinced that Baltar was on the right track. Ours is not to question, we just take orders and carry them out." Lee gathered up the papers, putting them into a neat stack on the side of the desk. He stood and addressed them with determination in his voice, "Once the fleet makes the jump to the Lagoon Nebula, I want the raptors deployed immediately. Kat, I'm keeping you with the vipers, you'll be in charge of scheduling and executing the CAP. Kara, you'll get a list of pilots and coordinates, and you'll oversee the search."

Both women snapped to attention and nodded in assent. "Yes, Sir!" They said, in unison.

"Dismissed."

Kat turned and exited the room, but Kara hung back.

"Yes, Starbuck? Was there something else?" Lee glanced up at her.

She was nervous. She'd been trying to find a way to bring the subject up with him for days without being too obvious. This new mission had opened a door for her. Still, she knew there would be questions and she wasn't sure how she was going to answer.

"Lee, how much of Dr. Baltar's work did they let you see? Did they give you the Intel gathered from Kobol?"

He studied her face for a moment, puzzled. Sitting back in his chair he smiled at her, his eyes flashing a perplexed look. "They gave me enough for us to proceed with the mission. Why, Kara? Was there something specific you were looking for?"

Biting her lip, she decided to level with him. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, right? She took a seat in one of the empty chairs facing his desk. Leaning forward, she took several deep breaths.

"I want to see the aerial shots taken of Kobol, all of them, if possible. I know they shot most of the planet while they were in orbit. Do you think you could get your hands on those?"

He was silent for a moment. "What are you up to, Kara? What do you need with that kind of information?"

"I'm not 'up to' anything, Lee. I just need to look at the aerials. There's something in particular I'm looking for on those shots. Something from those dreams that I've been…" she quickly corrected her self, " That I was having."

"You've got to be kidding! You want me to show you official Intel based on your dreams?" His brow was furrowed. He wasn't actually laughing at her, though, which was a good sign.

"Look, Lee. You just said it yourself not five minutes ago. You and I have both seen stranger things. I just need to look at the aerials. I need to be sure. I keep seeing certain formations, certain landmarks in my dreams. Landmarks that we didn't see while we were on the planet. If they aren't there, which we both know they probably aren't, then I can be done with the whole thing."

"Probably? What if you see something in those aerials that resembles what you've been dreaming about? What do you think you're going to do then?"

"I don't know, Lee! Maybe I'll write my own set of scrolls!" The sarcasm was thick in her voice. "I have to know. If I can just prove to myself that it doesn't mean anything, then maybe I can move on."

He stood up and walked around the desk. He sat on the edge of the desk, facing her, with concern in his eyes. "I thought you had put it behind you, Kara. You told me the dreams had stopped."

She avoided his eyes. "They have stopped," she lied. "They've stopped but I can't stop thinking about them. Please, Lee." There was a small, fragile quality to her voice as she said those last words. She hadn't meant to sound so desperate and silently cursed herself for not being able to hide this from him.

Lee reached behind him to the pile of papers he'd just been tidying. He flipped through them until he found what it was he'd been looking for.

"What, you have them now?" Kara's eyes were wide, her heart pounding.

He held out several photos for her, all of them depicting the surface of Kobol. "If you tell me what it is you are looking for, maybe I can help."

She was shuffling through the pictures, squinting over each one carefully. She stopped at one particular photo, ignoring his offer. She stared at it for a long time in silence. As the quiet verged on becoming awkward, she broke the tension and flashed her best 'Starbuck' grin. "Thanks, Sir. That's all I needed to see"

"You satisfied? You didn't find anything in the photos?"

Shaking her head, she handed the pile of aerials back to him. "Nothing. I guess my subconscious has a darker sense of humour than I realized. Thanks, Lee."

He took the aerials, and she prayed to the Lords of Kobol that he didn't notice how badly her hands were shaking.

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Kara closed her locker and leaned her forehead against the cool metal. She rested like that for a few moments, and then began to lightly bang her head against the locker door. She'd flown the CAP today, joined in the com chatter, hell she'd even told a few jokes. She was back and she wasn't faking it, for the first time in months. Now this.

At first she'd thought it was her eyes playing tricks on her, the photos were taken from quite a distance and it had been what, two thousand years or something crazy like that? The city itself was ruined, overgrown and hidden in the foliage. Still, it had been unmistakeably the same city, fanning out from the side of a large mountain range, covering an area so vast it was still visible, even from orbit. It wasn't the City of the Gods, she'd been to those ruins with the President, but it had been close, just on the other side of the mountain range from the Tomb of Athena itself.

It existed.

They'd tell her she was imagining it. They would tell her that it was impossible to tell if it was the same city, not from that point of view, not based on the few details she had from her dreams. But there had been one unmistakeable landmark on that aerial. A large outcropping of rock jutted out from the sheer mountain cliff, like a balcony. And set in behind that ledge had been a large, level enclosure. A courtyard. The courtyard. Yes, they'd tell her it was her imagination, but she was convinced it was the same place.

"Careful, Starbuck, your head is hard enough to do some serious damage to that locker."

Helo could always make her smile. She turned slowly and gave the back of her head one last thump against the metal, just to prove she could. "I'm gonna take that as a compliment, Karl."

He chuckled and swung his own locker open, tearing his sweat soaked regulation T's off and pulling a fresh towel out. He was just getting back from a run. "So I hear you're going to be heading up the search team. Must feel nice to be back, really back, and getting out there again."

"Well, it doesn't suck." She picked at the hem of her own T-shirt. "You know that Sharon's going to be on that team but I noticed your name wasn't on the list. C'mon, Karl, you've got to be sick of the CIC by now. Don't you crave the rush of flying? Or are you suddenly too good to take orders from me?"

"Oh, I've always been too good for that, Kara!" He was laughing now and she mimicked his laughing face.

"I'm serious, Karl. Come with me. I could really use somebody who knows his way around the FTL drive. With some of those nuggets at the helm, the raptors are likely to end up jumping into a moon. I'll talk to Apollo and have you assigned by tomorrow, you just say the word!"

He considered her for a moment, his head tilted to one side. "I'll sleep on it and let you know in the morning." There was a flash of light in his eyes. She could read the excitement there, and knew she'd hit the mark. She knew Karl Agathon well enough to know that he, too, craved the openness of space. He'd been on Galactica for too long not to jump at the chance to get out there and do a little exploring.

She grinned widely and started to chuckle as she slowly backed out of the locker room. "Give it up, Karl. Your ass is mine, and you know it. I'll expect you at 0700 hours sharp in the pilots' ready room! I'll work it out with Apollo and make sure he clears your schedule for me. Oh, and you will call me Sir in front of my pilots, and I'll expect a smile on your face as you're doing it."

The chuckle turned into a full fledge laugh and then a small shriek as he whipped off the towel he'd wrapped around his waist and tried to snap her with it.

"Ha! Who knew Athena was such a lucky cylon!"

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Rough pairs of hands are holding her arms, dragging her forwards down a corridor. She cannot focus her eyes on images that blur by her. Her tongue is thick and she finds herself unable to form words.

Voices speak all around her, a conversation is well underway. She hears the words but cannot make sense of them. There is something about a fire but beyond this she cannot grasp their meaning.

A white light flashes as they pass another doorway. She begins to kick her feet, trying to slow their progress down the corridor. This time she is drawn to the light, and wants to go through that doorway. The hands tighten on her arms, causing her to wince in pain.

They come to a halt at the end of the corridor, and a thick door scrapes open. All hands push her through the doorway into the black of the room. As the hands release their grip, she is propelled face first towards the floor, and she braces for the impact of her body hitting the ground.

Instead, she is falling. The room has disappeared and she is free falling through darkness. Flailing, her body twists and turns in panic. When her body does make contact with the ground, it is soft and wet, and there is no pain.

She smells the grass before she understands where she is. She has been here before. Again she is lying face down, and there is a quiet wind rustling through trees on all sides of her. She looks, and sees a white light flashing across the sky.

It is the ship. Only now does the thunder of its engines reach her ears. She is too late. She wasted too much time in the corridor. She has missed the ship; they have left without her. There is no place left to run, and she has failed them.

She knows what she must do. There is only one more thing she can do for them. She cannot go back and face their hopelessness; this will be her last act.

Sitting up, she looks around the clearing, and finally her eyes come to rest on the item she's been searching for. The helmet. She understands now that she never needed the flight suit. The helmet was her only chance for salvation. She wasted too much time on the suit.

She picks up the helmet. Surveying the clearing she is able to find the entrance to the path. This time there is nobody to hold her back, nobody to distract her. This time, she knows exactly where the path is leading and she understands that she will not be coming back from that place.

This time, when Kara woke from the dream, there was no confusion. She may not understand the meaning of the fragmented images, not yet, but she had made a decision. She couldn't move on. Not until she went back.

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