Disclaimer: I do not own The Outsiders.
A/N: It has taken me far too long to update. I apologize but summer is here and I suspect I'll be writing more frequently. This one goes to aero, without her this fic would be dead. And as always if you see my bad grammar, point it out.
XXX
January 9, 1966
It was the first Sunday dinner we were having without the Curtis parents and I could tell my mom was nervous. It wasn't as if she had anyone to impress, it was after all just the Curtis boys. But she was running around the house like a chicken with its head cut off. Now that Mr. and Mrs. Curtis weren't gonna be there, there bound to be small awkward silences that were usually filled with laughter.
It had been just over a month since they had passed away, I was sure, positive, that Sunday dinners would stop. The only reason why we had Sunday dinners was because my mom and Sally and Darrel Curtis went way back to high school… but they were gone now, maybe I just thought it was too soon. My mom was stubborn like that though, I guess that's where I got it from. The Curtis boy's were like our family and seeing as neither of us had much of any left it was important that we kept tradition.
"Jane, sweetheart. Are you done making the salad?"
I looked over my shoulder and watched as my mom put in a pair of earrings. My mom was tiny like I was but even she was taller then me by a couple inches. She was smart, funny, and I wished she were around more but ever since dad left she kept up with two jobs, sometimes three. So I guessed Sunday dinner was just as important to me as it was for her.
I looked down at the bowl of lettuce and scrunched my nose. What more did a salad need? Dressing, maybe cheese. I thought about it for a second before deciding it was good enough. I nodded at my mom before putting the bowl on the stove and placing two different kinds of dressing beside it.
"All done," I grinned. My mom smiled as she looked over the plates and bowls of food. Potatoes, cabbage rolls, vegetables, ham, and of course my salad. My mom had gone all out, it was like Christmas without the turkey. She must have worked overtime to be able to buy everything. It was probably the best part about my mom; she was the most selfless person in the world. She lost her best friends and I don't think I had seen her cry once, she was tough as nails and I admired her.
"Good, the boys will be here soon," my mom smiled as I looked at her.
"Mom," I hesitated, grabbing six plates from the cupboard instead of eight. "Don't you think this is a little much?"
"I just want everything to be nice," she said as she started laying out the tablecloth we only used for Christmas and Thanksgiving. I sighed, the kitchen was pretty much a room that symbolized everyone staring, feeling bad for what happened. I wanted to take the tablecloth and throw it out a window.
"Our house is like their second home; I just thought that maybe it should at least feel that way since theirs doesn't anymore."
My mom stared at me for a while and gave me the look parents give their kids when they realize their baby has grown up. She started folding up the tablecloth with a sad smile on her face. I felt bad for her, I wouldn't know what I would do if I lost my best friend either. She worked so hard though; I didn't think she really had time to be sad because by the time she went to bed she was too tired to think about the tragedy in her life.
XXX
Dinner was completely silent. Even with three Mathews' at the table the only thing heard were the clanking of forks across plates. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, staring across the table at my brother, silently begging him to tell a joke or something.
Shifting my gaze to the chocolate cake Soda announced they brought for desert, it made me think of Mrs. Curtis; she baked the best chocolate cakes. I started to feel hot, wondering if Soda knew I was thinking about his mom. We were sitting beside each other and somehow the thought of making sure our elbows didn't touch made it better.
Poking at my salad I remembered how Sundays used to be. It was always loud no matter whose house we were at. We used to alternate Sundays and whenever we went over to the Curtis house we would stay for hours, sometimes I watched as the parents played cards, drank beer and talked about the good times.
The first time any of us had tried a cigarette was when I was ten. We stole one from my mom's pack that she hid in the cupboard under the sick. I guess she didn't want me or Keith knowing back then, that she started smoking again when dad left. We knew though, kids had a way of finding out things like that one way or another. So one night when our parent's laughs could be heard from outside Keith and Darry snuck back into the kitchen and took just one cigarette. All five of us passed it back and forth in the backyard behind the shed, trying not to cough up a lung in front of each other.
"Jane," my brother broke the silence. "What is this?"
He looked from me to the salad that was on his dish. The rest of the table started to snicker; I smirked and raised an eyebrow. If I had to be the joke to get back to normality I was fine with that.
"Shut up, it's a salad and it's delicious."
"It's just lettuce," Ponyboy piped in. My brother had a goofy grin plastered on his face, the grin he put on that made everyone crack a smile. Keith had always been close with the kid, like the brother he never had. When I was younger I was jealous and hated Ponyboy more than anyone. But as I got older I realized my brother does care about, maybe a little too much at times but Ponyboy was different. Everyone knew it too, not just because he was too smart for his own good but because he saw things differently than everyone else did and I couldn't blame my brother for wanting to be around someone like Ponyboy Curtis.
"Put some dressing on it and can it," I joked, handing him the salad dressing. Grinning, I poked at my salad as Soda picked up a chunk of lettuce and tossed it on my plate.
"Did you even rip the lettuce up?" Soda asked. I looked down at the big chunk of almost white lettuce and grinned. What did they expect? Salad wasn't good to begin with, it was like rabbit food… so maybe it wasn't as good as other salads, a salad was a fucking salad.
This was standard routine; ever since I was little I was the easy target. It was probably because I was so easily annoyed, even when we were kids I was the one stuck with cooties and wasn't allowed in the no girls allowed forts. It bothered me something awful when I was younger but as I started making my own girl friends I was suddenly their favourite person in Tulsa. Boys will be boys as my mom always said. I thought the saying just gave guys another reason to do stupid shit, but what did I know?
"It's real hard to find that special lady that can fit something that big into her mouth," Keith grinned, making everyone, including our mom laugh.
I scrunched my nose, dirty jokes were fine and dandy but they were somehow much more disturbing coming out of my brother's mouth and beside Dallas he was the king of dirty jokes. I picked up the chunk of lettuce and threw it at him from across the table, hitting him in the forehead.
"Like you would know, it ain't like you have that problem," I smirked, matching his raised eyebrow. My brother gave me a wink as dinner went on and I smiled back at him, the whole table was snickering now, making jokes and talking. There was no more scratching of forks or a silence that could never be understood by anyone.
XXX
After helping my mom with the dishes I went to sit on the porch for a cigarette. My mom didn't like either of us smoking but there wasn't much she could say about it anymore. Sitting between two posts of the railing, I let my feet dangle over the edge. I was short enough to swing them back and forth without having them hit the ground.
When the porch squeaked I turned around and looked up at Soda, nodding when he pointed to the spot beside me. I offered him a cigarette from the pack I stole from Keith's dresser.
"I thought tonight would be a disaster," he admitted, taking out his own lighter from his front jean pocket. I nodded again, taking a puff from my cigarette.
To be perfectly honest I was half expecting Darry to call mom and cancel not because he didn't want to come or didn't want to associate with us anymore but because it was just too hard to be normal after what happened. I was surprised when they walked through the door cake in hand; I had to give 'em credit that much was for sure.
"So did I."
Soda hardly ever smoked or so everyone thought for all anyone knew he smoked just as much as I did. I think that Soda tried real hard to be the best he could be for Pony's sake, especially now. As far as Ponyboy knew Soda was some kind of God send, it worked too, you could tell by the way the kid looked at him. Soda was like any other sixteen-year-old boy as far as I was concerned; he liked fights, loved cars and was the biggest flirt I'd ever met.
"I'm dropping out," Soda mumbled as he ashed his cigarette. I froze and slowly turned toward him, my cigarette hanging from my lips. Soda didn't do very well in school but hell neither did I. I wondered if he had thought it through because lets face it we were already at a disadvantage, what were kids like us going to do without a high school diploma.
"Of school?"
I was shocked, I didn't have any friends that had dropped out… at least not yet. I was surprised that Darry was okay with it because everyone and their dog knew that if Mrs. and Mr. Curtis wouldn't let it happen if they were still living
"No shit," he chuckled.
It wasn't a joke though, it wasn't a sarcastic laugh, it was more sad than anything. I started picking the brown paint off of the railing and glanced back up at him. He didn't look sad; he looked more content than anything.
"I already talked to Darry," he went on with a shrug. "Couldn't really say no to the idea."
I knew the Curtis's were struggling with money, along with everyone else on the East side. Darry must have felt terrible admitting he needed help, it must have felt even worse having your kid brother drop out in order to get that help.
I hated money. Sure, it made the world go round but it was fucking evil just take a look at the Soc's, if that wasn't proof I didn't know what was.
"And Ponykid?" I asked, watching him flick his cigarette on the lawn.
"I reckon he won't be too happy about it," he grinned as he got up from his spot. "But he's the smart one anyways, right?"
"You don't give yourself enough credit Curtis," I smirked back. He rolled his eyes at me before reaching his hand down to help me up.
"C'mon it's freezing out here."
XXX
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