Chapter 6- Imaginary Conversation

"Very good, Miss Anderson," Hermione said watching a feather float gracefully through the room. "Five points to Hufflepuff!" The young blonde headed girl in front of her turned pink from pleasure.

She heard the bell signal the end of class and the children filed out of the room. She smiled as she flicked her wand and with a mental Accio, the feathers floated up to her desk settling themselves neatly in a box. Wingardium Leviosa was still one of her favorite lessons to teach. Not only did the students always love it, but in a round about way she credited it for her friendship with Ron and Harry. Had she not been so bossy with Ron during their own lesson, he wouldn't have been so rude to her, which in turn meant she would not have been in the bathroom when that troll had decided to drop by.

The first several weeks of term had passed pleasantly for Hermione. She had larger than normal N.E.W.T. classes which she liked to partially take credit for. She was also falling into her duties as Head of Gryffindor fairly well. She had met with Minerva several times to discuss her new responsibilities and they had had a lengthy discussion on the best way to promote inter-house unity while still promoting house loyalty.

However, she was especially cheerful because this weekend was her birthday. She knew it was silly to still get excited about her birthday when she was well into her twenties, but regardless, she still looked forward to it with the excitement of a child. Harry and Ginny had already sent a present by owl which was sitting, still wrapped, next to her bed where it would remain until her birthday. Her parents, she knew, would time it so that her presents arrived Saturday morning. Several years before she had given them an owl as a Christmas present and it had made communication with them much easier since. Otherwise she intended to spend a quiet day in Hogsmeade treating herself to some shopping, perhaps even some new clothes at Gladrags.

She picked up an armful of rolls of parchment- sixth year essays on the advantages of nonverbal charms, and made her way up to her office on the sixth floor where she quickly dumped them on her desk. She then hurried out and made her way across the castle to the Headmistresses office. She had received a note earlier in the day saying that there would be a meeting for the Heads of Houses directly after classes that afternoon. She quickly made her way to the gargoyle, saying the password and hurrying up the moving staircase to her office. As a result, she was quite out of breath by the time she arrived.

"Professor Granger!" Minerva said looking in surprise at her disheveled appearance. "There was no need to run."

Hermione blushed as the other three professors turned to face her. Professor Sprout had a smile as usual, Professor Priscus, the Ancient Runes professor who had taken Flitwick's place as Head of Ravenclaw appeared to be deep in thought and Professor Snape just looked annoyed. 'Well, no surprise there,' she thought.

"Please, take a seat," Professor McGonagall motioned to four chairs she had positioned around her desk. As Hermione took a seat she noticed Dumbledore's portrait behind the desk. Although she had been in this office many times since his death, it never failed to unnerve her to see it there. She noticed this time, however, the portrait appeared to be taking notice of Snape. She turned to look at him, wondering what he must have thought the first time he had come up here when he returned to teach. He appeared rather tense, but otherwise did not seem affected. Minerva also took her seat at the desk and looked at them with a serious expression on her face.

"Thank you all for joining me on such short notice. Eventually I will be discussing this with all the professors, but I wanted the four of you to be aware of the situation first."

Hermione began to feel alarmed. What was all this about?

"As some of you may know, I have been in close contact with Minister Shaklebolt all summer regarding our growing enrollment problem. Now, the Minister has always been a great supporter of Hogwarts, however lately he has become very concerned. The general consensus among most witches and wizards is that Hogwarts is behind the times. Parents are sending their children to other schools, whether it's Durmstrang or Beauxbaton or a smaller school such as El Caldero in Spain. People feel that their children can receive a better education out of the country. We are also having trouble filling our teaching positions. As you all well know, we wouldn't have been able to open our doors at all this year if it hadn't been for Professor Snape who was so kind as to agree to come back for one year." She nodded to Severus who, to everyone in the room, appeared to merely be bored.

"Anyway, I just spoke to Minister Shaklebolt this morning, and he informed me that the board of governors has reached a decision regarding our future." She took a deep breath before she continued. "They are putting us on a probation of sorts. As long as there are no serious incidents, we have professors to teach all the classes and the enrollment does not continue to decline, we can remain open. However if there is any more negative publicity, they will close our doors."

Hermione and Professors Sprout and Priscus all looked at each other, the worry evident in each others eyes. This was even more serious than they expected. They looked back at their Headmistress and waited for her to continue.

"I don't think I need to tell you than I'm not just referring to such incidents as the Chamber of Secrets being opened or Death Eaters in the castle." There was an uncomfortable pause as she realized what she had just inadvertently made reference to. "It could be something as small as a student getting lost in the Forbidden Forest, or someone returning late from Hogsmeade. As the Heads of House, the four of you have more responsibility than all the other teachers. I am going to make you directly responsible for the actions of your students. I am expecting you to keep them under strict control and any rule breaking should be dealt with using the harshest of punishments."

She paused again for a moment looking very old and tired. "I know this is going to be hard on you, but I also know that we have the finest school of witchcraft and wizardry in Europe, even if most of the country doesn't seem to."

With that she dismissed them; the four professors left her office in silence and they walked down the staircase. As they reached the bottom, Hermione once again felt the need to say something to Severus. She had felt uncomfortable the entire time during the meeting and all she had been able to think about was how it must feel for him. To be in the room that had always been Dumbledore's. Now the great Headmaster was nothing more than a portrait on the wall.

"Professor Snape?" she said turning around on the last stair and blocking him from the hallway. "May I speak to you a moment?"

"Does it matter? I daresay you will speak whether I want you to or not," he grumbled at her.

"I just wanted to thank you. I know you do not want to be here, but it was very kind of you to take this position."

Severus just looked at her and rolled his eyes. "Miss Granger, I don't know what is going through your head to make you think I'm being nice. I thought I made it clear that I was only here for the money."

"Well, yes," she swallowed hard. "I just… well, I just…"

"Spit it out Miss Granger."

"Well, I can just imagine that was all very uncomfortable for you in there. I mean, it must be strange for you…" she broke off unsure what to say.

"For me to be in the office of the man I murdered with his portrait staring at me?"

Hermione paled at his harsh words. "Well…yes."

Severus suddenly advanced toward her causing Hermione to back up suddenly. She had forgotten she was still standing on the bottom step and stumbled backward. He grabbed hold of her wrist, twisting it as he did and held it tightly causing her to flinch as pain shot up her arm.

"Whatever makes you think, Miss Granger, that the murder of Albus Dumbledore is even close to the worst thing I have ever done? The Avada Kedavra is a dream compared to some curses I know. I have seen things that would make you thank your lucky stars Dumbledore, and Weasley for that matter, went out the way they did. At least they kept all their organs in the right place. At least you did not end up covered in your boyfriend's blood when you held his dead body. Do not ever feel sorry for me. You can pretend I was a Death Eater in name only, but trust me I wasn't." The look on his face was murderous.

Hermione felt herself begin to gag and felt bile rise up in her throat. "Please," she whispered pulling her arm back. "I'm sorry… I'm sorry." No other words would come and she managed to pull away. As soon as she backed off the step she made her way up to her rooms as quickly as she could, trying to force the tears back from her eyes and calm her churning stomach.

Severus Snape waited several minutes before moving from the bottom step, praying no one would come across him. When he finally felt that he could trust both his actions and his words he walked, as quickly as he could without drawing attention, to the dungeons.

Reaching his quarters, he sank down into a chair and ran his shaking fingers through his hair. Why couldn't she have just kept her mouth shut? Of all the things he hated, pity was the worst. He would have rather she yelled at him, called him names. If only the word murderer would have come out of her mouth instead of his, he could have dealt with it all so much better.

She had been right, though. He hated being in that room; seeing the portrait of Dumbledore staring at him instead of the flesh and blood man; and then to have Minerva speak of it. He had felt the other teachers' stares on him. He, who had allowed the Death Eaters into the castle, had brought those monsters inside these sacred walls. Granted, it had been Draco Malfoy who had actually done the deed, but he had not stopped it. It was strange, when he thought of it. McGonagall and Granger were the only two in that room who had actually fought the Death Eaters and risked their lives for the safety of the students, yet they seemed to be the only two who did not look at him with reproach.

'You let her believe you had killed before. You were trying to scare her.' He felt the words rise up in him and, typically, they sounded like Albus Dumbledore. Guilt was a feeling he hated almost as much as pity.

"Bloody busybody should have kept her mouth shut," he mumbled to nobody.

'She was trying to be nice. You should apologize.'

"She should learn not to stick her nose where it doesn't belong," he said again to himself, unsure of whom he was trying to convince. "Besides, I haven't apologized to anyone in thirty years. And that one didn't get me anywhere."

'You should not have mentioned the Weasley boy. That was cruel. You saw her that day. You know what his death did to her.'

"It's been almost ten years. She should deal with it."

'Yes, ten years. And how are YOU dealing with it?'

"SHUT UP!" Severus yelled and then realized that he was yelling only at himself. "Bloody hell, I've lost my mind."

Severus spent the rest of the evening in his rooms, not daring to come out for dinner. He felt something close to shame regarding his behavior, although he still maintained she should have kept her nose out of it and stopped trying to be nice. He was surprised she hadn't already going to Professor McGonagall about it. He decided that he would keep to himself for the weekend until he felt that he had better control over his actions.

As it turned out, it would not have mattered had he gone to the Great Hall that evening for dinner as Hermione also did not go. She had completely lost her appetite and had no desire to make small talk with the other professors. She was never good at hiding her emotions and she knew the minute she made it to the Head Table she would have both Minerva and Neville hounding her to find out what was wrong.

'I should report him', she thought savagely to herself. But then she remembered Minerva's words of warning that afternoon. Any more scandal and Hogwarts would be closed. She wasn't sure if an argument with the Potions Professor really qualified as scandal, but she was pretty sure assault (and her wrist was starting to bruise) and graphic descriptions of Death Eater activities might. All in all she decided it wasn't worth the risk. Instead she once again took another dose of the Sleeping Potion, reasoning that really, she deserved it after all that, and fell into bed at a rather early hour.

In the Great Hall, the remaining professors were surprised at the absence of both Professors Snape and Granger. When questioned by Professor McGonagall, Sprout and Priscus couldn't remember seeing either one of them after leaving her office, although they should have all headed into the main part of the castle together. Neither could remember when they had become separated and no one could figure out why.