Weeb woob it's been 3 months weeb woob

Ahem yes hello whalecum back to my fanfiction it's been a pleasure yes yes heylo

Ugh I'm sorry guys 3 months is too long ^-^'

And yes, Lithuania is drug dealing pimp in this fanfic (forgot to make that clear last chapter weeeee)

Time to add Denmark, Norway and Iceland. I seriously dk why I didn't add them earlier cuz they're my fav characters tbh. I'm just gonna apologize for Iceland in advance because... Ya you'll see. He's really OOC but everyone in this is bc crack

ONE MORE THING PLZ READ I LAV YOU: this chapter is really scattered. It's becoming like, a sketch comedy show IDFK LEAVE ME ALONE

BTW LOTS OFFENSIVE HUMOR AND MAYBE TRIGGER WARNING? IDK JUST BEWARE IF U ARE SENSITIVE DON'T READ OH GOD I DON'T WANNA BE REPORTED

When Alfred was young he had a crush on Puss in Boots. He used to be teased about it. People would say, 'Alfred you pile of shark innards you can't date a fucking cat let alone a cartoon character, Jesus fucking Christ!'

And then Alfred would cry.

As he got older he developed a strong love for Gerard Way. He tried to die his hair like his and wear guyliner. Basically he was a typical angsty 13 year old girl Emo wannabe. He got punched everyday. But that was okay because emos are supposed to like pain and the bruises made it look like he had natural eyeliner. Gerard would be proud.

So basically he's an Emo furry.

So when Feliks said he would dress up as Puss in Boots with 37 pounds of guyliner on his face Alfred cried tears of happiness.

They had a very 'eventful' night.

TomatoesFTW: should I come to Canada

G_Beilschmidt: y

TomatoesFTW: because everyone fun is there :( do u remember Mathias? Our drinking buddy?

G_Beilschmidt: Ya

TomatoesFTW: he lives there too. With Lukas HIS HUSBAND!

G_Beilschmidt: jfc we're all gay and from different countries wtf and somehow we're all in canada wow much coincidence such how

TomatoesFTW: sounds like a great plot for a porno

G_Beilschmidt: I'd get myself off to that porn everyday

TomatoesFTW:#same

TomatoesFTW: go talk to Mathias. His IG username is Norgay

G_Beilschmidt: k

G_Beilschmidt: so u and the sociopath Norwegian kid, eh? *wink wonk*

Norgay: Gil? Holy shit.

G_Beilschmidt: cum to 3769 Willy street

So... Ya Gilbert sent Matthew's address to as alcoholic Danish man. Nothing can go wrong right?

"GILBERT THERE ARE THREE PEOPLE AT THE DOOR THAT I DON'T KNOW!"

Ok, this'll probably be how Gilbert gets kicked out but THATS OK. He's been kicked out of things multiple times. This vacation wouldn't be worth it if he didn't get kicked out of SOMETHING at least ONCE.

"Oh, they're just some friends from high school. It'll be fiiiine just let them in!"

Matthew hesitated.

He stopped hesitating when the door crashed down and standing before them was Lukas holding a chainsaw. Good old Lukas.

A white haired boy who, if Gilbert remembers correctly, is named Emil struts in wearing heeled white boots and booty shorts. He clicks his tongue.

"Hey big boy, how about we take it up to the bedroom and get it on," Ah, yes, it's definitely Emil. Another great boy to add to the long list of gay men from foreign countries.

"Um, no how about you DON'T go into the bedroom and get it on. How about you GET OUT of my house and pay for the door you broke," Matthew looked like he was aboot to cry. His door is his baby.

"Emil, little brother. My sweet SWEET SWEET BROTHER," Lukas took a moment to calm down, "what did I tell you about flirting with men that are too old for you? Unless it's that Lithuanian man. Then I approve. I definitely approve."

"Ya, I don't know who told you that you could tell me how to live my life. Gilbert is just dying to have me in his pants. He has been ever since I ate that piece of Lego in front of him. He wants me." Iceland winked at Gilbert. Matthew's eye twitched.

"Emil, I'm the only one you can eat Lego in front of. How dare you do it to Gilbert behind my back." Lukas turned on his chain saw.

"Lukas, not here. I don't want this young man's house to be the scene of a crime. Remember last time?" Mathias said while entering the house, "Good to see you again Gilbert. Any reason you wanted to see us? Do you need us to CATCH A FISH or BULID A LEGO CASTLE"

Matthew had a feeling that 'catch a fish' and 'build a Lego castle' don't actually mean what they are supposed to.

"Um... Not right now but thanks for the offer? No I just wanted to see you"

While they were talking Lukas and Emil had entered the kitchen. Lukas was staring at the knives and Emil was licking a banana seductively while rubbing mayonnaise on his crotch.

Matthew proceeded to kick them out.

Meanwhile, Alfred and Feliks were in a gang fight with Toris and his comrades Ivan and 'Edswag' (name is actually Eduard but Edswag is thug).

Toris had walked in on Feliks and Alfred playing pussy cats on each other's unmentionables and got mad cuz his 'bish be gettin' it on wit' sum' udder bitch ass white boi'.

Alfred was good at shooting them because he's from the land of the free. Feliks is good at biting.

But Feliks and Alfred aren't just fighting to survive... They're fighting for their... Love.

When Matthew had finally stopped crying over his broken door (that door was important ok, his beaver friends helped chop down the wood for it. One of them even got squished. His name was cunt) he and Gilbert had some Tim Hortons coffee.

"Your friends are insane. Like, actually insane. Have you ever tried taking them to, I don't know, A MENTAL INSTITUTION!?" Matthew asked.

"I thought Lukas was in one but I guess he broke out... I don't know..."

"And why did they all come to CANADA?!"

"Maybe they wanted to meet a beaver then get bitten by it but that would be okay because you have free health care."

Matthew sighed.

Halfway across the world, Ludwig Beilschmidt was getting his dick sucked by his Italian 'friend' when he suddenly realized he hadn't seen his older brother in a week.

Um. Ya

I actually wanna make a side series about Denmark, Norway and Iceland because that was way too much fun to write

I'm REALLY sorry if I offended anyone ik it got a bit... Risky... This chapter...

I need sleep

p.s if u know who Gerard Way is then we should get married