"Sophie, I'm sorry about the fight last night, I said things that I shouldn't have said, things that I really didn't mean. Anyway, I have something very important that I need to talk to you about, so please, please call me back." Dwayne hung up the phone and cursed. It was early the next morning, and Dwayne, feeling awful about what he had done, had been unable to sleep. As soon as he deemed it late enough for Sophie to be awake, he had called her. The first time, she didn't answer, he didn't leave a message, the second time, however, he did. Something gave him the feeling that she knew who was calling, that she picked up her cell phone, and saw his number flash on the screen, too angry at him to answer; she had let it go to voicemail. Dwayne kicked the wall of his bedroom. "Shit," he whispered.
"Dwayne? Are you alright?" Olive asked with concern. She had been standing in his doorway, but he hadn't noticed.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine." Dwayne gave Olive a fake smile, but she knew him well enough to be able to pick up on his lie.
"What's wrong?" she asked, not bothering to tell him that she knew he was lying, she went straight to the source. Dwayne sighed.
"Sophie and I had a fight, and she won't answer my calls, I don't know what's happening. It was all a big mistake, but it was my fault, and I screwed up." Dwayne fell down on top of his bed. Olive crawled up next to him. Both of them lay their on their backs, staring up at the parachute that was attached to Dwayne's ceiling.
"I'm sorry," Olive said finally. "Mom and dad fight all the time though, just apologize. Just say you're sorry."
"I wish I could, but she has to call me back first." Dwayne sighed, he didn't want to tell Olive how awful it felt, he didn't want her to think that her parents felt this way all the time, even though he knew that they probably did.
"She will," Olive said. "I'm sure she will. You're too nice not to call back." Olive turned on her side and smiled at her brother, who rolled over to face her as well.
"Thanks," Dwayne said, smiling at the girl, this time the smile was genuine. "I'm still worried though. You know that I have a tendency to make mistakes."
"Yes, but you also have a history of fixing them."
"Yeah…" Dwayne sat up, and Olive followed suit. "But this is slightly different. You guys are my family, you sort of have to forgive me if I apologize, Sophie doesn't." Olive didn't respond verbally to that, but instead, she put her arms around Dwayne's neck and gave him a hug. He patted the small girl's back, and she tightened her grip for a bit longer before letting go. "Anyway, I have to study, Monday marks the beginning of finals week for the first semester," Dwayne said. He knew however, that when Olive left the room, he wouldn't hit the books, he never studied for finals, he didn't have to, he just needed his space still. He lay on his bed almost all day, reading books mindlessly, taking in to a word. Every time the phone rang, he held his breath, hoping for a call from Sophie, but the phone was never for him. Saturday drifted in to Sunday, Dwayne slept most of Sunday, claiming to be ill, only Olive knew any better, but she said nothing, what was Dwayne's business would continue to be Dwayne's business until he made the decision to tell his family about it.
"Hey, this is Sophie, leave a message, I'll make sure and call back." Dwayne called again Sunday evening, only to receive her voicemail again.
"Sophie, please, I know you got my last message. Just call me back, I really need to talk to you. I'm so sorry for everything I said. I swear to god! Can't you just believe me? I need to talk to you so badly, I miss you, really, just call me, ok? Please. I can't stop thinking about you, it's killing me, this guilt, and I don't usually say things like this." Dwayne hung up the phone, and took it back out to the kitchen to hang it up.
"Are you feeling any better?" Sheryl asked as Dwayne emerged from his room.
"No, not really, I think I'm gonna go back to bed, I don't want to miss finals tomorrow." He turned.
"Dwayne, you should probably eat something," Sheryl suggested. "You didn't eat a thing yesterday, and you haven't eaten anything yet today. It might help make you feel better, I can warm up some soup if you want."
"Alright." Dwayne agreed to indulge his mother, not because he was hungry. Dwayne walked back to his room while Sheryl fixed the soup. He crawled back on to his bed, and then under the blankets to keep up the appearance of being sick. A few minutes later, he heard a knock on his bedroom door. "Come in," he said in a barely audible whisper.
"Here, it's lentil." Olive walked in to room with a tray bearing a steaming bowl of lentil soup and a glass of water.
"Thanks," he said. She walked over to the bed, and handed him the tray as he sat up.
"Are you ok? I take it that Sophie hasn't called back yet, but you really aren't taking this too well. You really care about her, don't you." Olive phrased her sentence as a statement, and not a question.
"Yeah, I do. I don't know why this is hitting me so hard though, I really didn't intend for it, I didn't mean to fall for her to be honest." Dwayne sighed, when he took Sophie out the first time, he was just looking for a friend, and it turned in to more outside of his control.
"I'm sure it will be alright Dwayne. Really, you're capable of fixing this, I promise you." Dwayne ignored the spoon, and while Olive spoke, he quickly drank the hot lentils.
"When did you get like this?" Dwayne asked her once he finished.
"Like what?" Olive asked.
"Understanding, wise, so grown up," Dwayne looked at her seriously.
"I don't know, I don't think I changed…did I?" Olive looked confused.
"More then you know." Dwayne shook his head. "You've become almost a completely different person. The only thing that hasn't changed is your ability to care about other people, it's amazing, you've got all of these good things about you, and you're only in the third grade."
"Is that a good thing?" Olive asked, not sure of what he was telling her.
"Yeah, actually it is, just kind of, you know, unexpected." Dwayne gave her a look that words couldn't explain. It was a brotherly look that someone who wasn't in their family would mistake as a look of sheer confusion, but Olive took it rightly as a symbol of love.
"I don't want you to be like this," Olive said as Dwayne started on his orange juice. "I want you to get out of bed, and be like you were." Olive cuddled up to her brother, causing him to nearly spill the orange juice.
"I know, I know, I will, I just need a little bit of time before can I come around full circle, ok?"
"What does that mean?"
"Oh, it just means that I need some time before I can be me again, I'm working on it, I swear, soon Olive, soon." Dwayne spent the rest of the day finishing The Scarlet Letter, as he would need the information from the book for his English test the next day. For the first time in his academic career, he didn't get it, he didn't understand the significance of the red letter, he didn't understand the symbols of the child, the bright lights, Dimmesdale's hand over his heart, anything. He threw the book down in frustration, causing several of the pages to bend over and rip out. The force that he had used against the defenseless paperback surprised even himself.
"Dwayne," Sheryl knocked softly on his door and came in before he said anything. "Sorry to bother you, but Olive wants you to read to her tonight, she asked me to ask you if you would, she said she knows you're not feeling well, but it might be good for you."
"Yeah, I'll do it." Dwayne stood up slowly. Anything to get his mind off of Sophie and The Scarlet Letter.
"Thanks, I'm sorry," Sheryl moved aside as he stepped out of his room and walked towards Olive's. When he entered, he shut the door.
"What'll it be?" he asked, squatting in front of her short book shelf.
"I don't know, anything," Olive shrugged from where she was sitting on her bed in her pajamas, which consisted of an old shirt of Richard's and an oversized pair of pajama bottoms from the local value store.
"Ok, well, I like this one." Dwayne selected a book from the shelf. "Green Eggs and Ham, Dr. Suess, otherwise known as Theodore Geisel."
"Come on, that's from when I was a lot younger!" Olive whined, smiling.
"Well, tough luck. You said that I got to choose, and I don't think I can handle anything above the reading level of a first grader right now." Dwayne made a joke, trying to lighten his own situation, and hoping that Olive would find it funny as well. She laughed, but he didn't know if that was to humor him, or whether she actually found it funny.
"Alright, fine, but only because you can't handle anything harder," Olive smiled again as Dwayne stood up and walked over to the bed, where he sat next to her and began reading the book.
"Ok, lights out," he said when he finished, and moved to leave. Olive stopped him getting off the bed.
"Wait, not yet." She grabbed the back of his shirt.
"What?" he asked.
"Are you going to be ok?" Olive asked, looking at him with defined concern in her eyes.
"Yes, yeah, I'm going to be fine, I told you, I just needed some time. Thanks for worrying though…I think, but don't lose any sleep over it." Dwayne smiled at his sister, her care for him touched him greatly. "Is that everything?" he asked, preparing himself to leave again.
"No."
"What else?" he asked her.
"I think that you should take Sophie a flower to school tomorrow. Girls like flowers, I would know." She gave him a knowing look.
"Where would I get a flower early enough in the morning?" he asked.
"Take a rose from mom's garden, she won't notice one missing."
"Mom's roses aren't exactly note worthy…" Dwayne thought back outside to the garden with the scraggly roses. Occasionally one turned out nice, but usually they were just wild roses.
"It's more the thought that counts, just find the best one, and maybe write her a note to go with it, if she cares about you like she should, it will be enough."
"Seriously, how do you know these things?" Dwayne was shocked by the level of knowing Olive seemed to have reached.
"I read it in a book at school."
"Oh, that makes sense I guess, huh." Dwayne smiled at her, a little relieved that she wasn't maturing on him too quickly.
"Just do it, ok? I think it might help. I want it to help, and I want to meet Sophie."
"Alright, I'll think about it," Dwayne said. "I'll at least take her the flower, maybe the note, it depends on if I can think of something productive to put in it that I can't say better aloud."
"Alright." Olive sighed, she wished that he would just do it, and not talk about it.
"Is that all?" Dwayne asked again.
"Yes, that's all." Olive lay down in bed, and Dwayne tucked the covers around her.
"Good night." Dwayne shut the light off.
"Good night." Olive snuggled in the blankets as Dwayne shut the door halfway, and walked back to his room, only to face a predominately sleepless night, filled with tossing and turning.