Someone was banging on my door. The persistent noise pulled me out of my sleep of the dead, and guilted me into opening the door a crack. "Normal people aren't awake this early, you know," I mumbled to the cheery face before me.
"Well, those are the boring people!" Poe replied, much too enthusiastically for me. "Put some warm clothes on and grab a jacket… Do you have a leather one? Never mind, you can wear mine, I'll use something else." Stunned and not awake enough to comprehend what was being asked, I watched helplessly as Poe ran through my room and pulled out clothes from my closet. Apparently satisfied he had everything, he pushed the pile of clothes into my arms and guided me into the bathroom. "Now go get dressed, I'll be right here waiting."
I watched the door to the bathroom close. I stood for a second and stared at it. What was going on? Giving in, mostly because I was curious, I pulled on the clothes and brushed my teeth. When I opened the door he was right there taking my hand and began leading me out and down my front steps. We walked in silence, which was fine with me because anything I usually say in the morning isn't very nice. I pulled his jacket tighter around me to keep out the chill of the morning air and it smelled like aviation gas and sweat. The scent was comforting, and I hated him a little for smelling so good in the morning when I am sure I am repulsive. When we reached the aircraft runway he started jogging toward a small plane. I guess it was a plane. There were wings and wheels and a propeller, so it had the important pieces that made things fly. Poe turned to me. "Do you trust me?"
"In that?" I thought for a split second. "I trust you in any aircraft, Poe." I started to understand what we were about to do, and the excitement started to build inside me. I hadn't been on any aircraft for fun in years. Transports were dull ways to travel, and you can't fit two people in an x-wing, or Rook would have taken me up long ago. I may not be a pilot, but I love to fly.
He directed me to sit in a seat behind him and put the straps around my body in a five-point harness. As he pulled the strap to tighten it all down on me, he gave me a serious look. "Are you ok with this? Just tap me on the shoulder if you get scared and I'll bring us right back down." I nodded and gave him a happy smile. Poe handed me headphones, hopped into the seat in front of me and put on his own harness. I looked around. There were no protective sides on this plane. Someone had basically welded together a bunch of pipes, put wings on top and two seats in front of the motor. It was the most basic thing i'd ever been in, but it was definitely made to experience the open air. The sun was beginning to bleed over the horizon, it's soft light diffused through the foggy morning air. Poe started the engine and we rolled onto the runway. The motor became much louder, and I was pressed back in my seat as we barreled along. Suddenly it was smooth, I felt the pull of liftoff in my stomach, and the ground fell away.
The wind pummeled my cheeks, and I watched the trees get smaller and smaller. I could see absolutely everything around me. We flew over forests and lakes, as the sun got brighter and burned off the fog. Realizing I must be comfortable since I hadn't tapped him on the shoulder to stop, Poe began making tighter turns, and dipped low towards the grasslands. It felt like we were going faster the lower to the ground we got, and I screamed in absolute joy as we buzzed the tops of the reeds, so close it seemed I could reach out and touch them. I made no noise, however, as the wind blew my shout right back down my throat. We pulled up and did it again over a lake, the ripples of the water going by in a blur.
We landed back at the airfield, which was still quiet and deserted. Poe helped me down from my seat, and I started to giggle as I put my arms around him in a hug. He held his arms around my waist, and steadied me as I leaned back and threw my hands in the air. "I'm so HAPPY!" I yelled, not caring who heard. Poe quickly lifted me up against him and swung me in a dizzy circle, while I squealed like a little girl. He set me down and I stepped away from him, still giggling.
"I was a little afraid you wouldn't enjoy it," he said with a laughing smile.
"Are you kidding?" I laughed. "I may never get in an x-wing fighter, but this thing was amazing! I haven't flown in years!" Realizing the reason for that suddenly sobered me. Seeing the change on my face, Poe quickly reacted.
"No no, stop looking back, don't ruin this for yourself. If Lance was as good of a guy as you've told me, you know he would want you to feel this happy from a flight. Think back to the grasses flying by. Remember that. And just breathe." He stopped talking and looked hopefully at me.
I closed my eyes and tried. I could see the reeds and feel the wind. I replayed it in my mind until I felt a weight lift off my shoulders and I let a smile form again on my face. It wasn't as enthusiastic as before, but it was almost guilt-free. Remembering to pull in that deep breath, I suddenly felt like I had taken another step towards sanity. And I was proud of myself.
AN: The aircraft described here is actually a Breezy (google it to see a pic, you'll think I'm insane to fly in this). This chapter is the only way I can put into words what it's like.