I dried my brown hair, deciding not to tie it up. I looked at myself in the mirror, hoping an answer of some sort would arise. My heart was torn, but not destroyed. Pacey or Dawson, the always unanswered question. The answer did not come, and I turned away from my reflection. I ignored the urge to throw up or cry, after all this was completely my fault. Days had past when I could blame Pacey for acting on his feelings, it was now only my fault.

I went back into the bedroom, sitting down on the bed. I put my head in my hands, out of frustration not sadness. My head hurt, and I felt physically sick. I heard a knock on the door, and quickly jumped up. I turned around, and walked over to the dresser. I pulled a comb through my hair, then answered in a composed voice "Come in".

Dawson pushed open the door, a stupid grin on his face.

"Hi" He grinned.

"Hey" I smiled, faking a yawn.

"Did you sleep well?" He asked, walking over to me slowly.

"Better than I have for moment" I laughed hollowly, lacking so much emotion.

"Good" He said, "Molly's dead asleep"

"You should grab a nap then, this might be the only time she will sleep" I joked.

"I don't mind" He replied. That was the problem. He really did not care, he was so in love with this little girl. Again I felt physically sick as I thought about how much I would hurt him, how much pain I would inflict.

"You feeling okay Joey, you look pretty pale" He said, peering at me concerned.

"I'm okay, just a bit hot in here" I lied, fanning my face. He must have been convinced, and took a few steps back trying to give me some breathing room.

"If you're up for it, Jack called. He wanted to ask you something, I said you'd call him back when you could" Dawson smiled, pushing his blonde hair on his eyes.

"Sure" I smiled, wondering if I could possibly discuss this problem with him. I really wished H Jen was here, she'd know what to do. I thought about calling Audrey but she was most likely on the road. Maybe I could discuss it with Grams, or maybe even who I could most likely hurt – Pacey. He would be supportive, even though he was involved. I think he might be helpful, of course he could be ridiculously biased.

"Joey, are you sure you're okay?" He asked, his concern growing.

"Yes Dawson" I laughed, "It's just warm in here"

"Why don't you take your jumper off then" He suggested, pointing to my thick grey hoodie.

"Yes, right" I smiled, slipping the jumper off. I considered going to place it in the cupboard, but instead I threw it on the unmade bed.

"Joey Potter, messiness?" He teased.

I smiled weakly.

Suddenly a loud cry echoed through the double story house, it was so loud it made me jump. I laughed weakly, realizing I was a true scaredy cat. Dawson smiled, laughing along weakly with me.

"I'll go" He offered, quickly kissing my cheek. I smiled, just accepting the small sign of affection as he left. He shut the door, throwing me a smile. I sat back down on the bed and reached for the phone. I dialed the phone number and held it to my ear, wondering if I should ask advice.

"Hello?" Doug asked.

"Hey Doug" I said lightly, "Is Jack there?"

"Yeah Joey, I'll get him for you. Congratulations on Molly, she sure is a cute one" Doug laughed.

"Yeah she sure is" I replied.

"I don't think she'll look like her dad, more like you" He laughed again.

"You never know" I said, trying to keep my voice light.

"Hold on, here's Jack" Doug said. Jack's voice was next to greet me, my old friends voice so comforting.

"Hey Joey, how are you?" He asked, concern legitimate.

"I'm good Jackers" I replied.

"Good, is the little one full on yet?" He asked.

"Not yet, Dawson took care of her and well I took a nap" I laughed.

"Get all the sleep you can" He advised, laughing along with me.

"So Jackers, you called before?" I asked.

"Yeah, I wanted to you and Dawson to come over for Amy's Bithday and bring Molly of course" He said.

"Sure, sounds great" I smiled.

A little kid's birthday party was what I needed, just to be with people and plaster the smile more firmly on my face.

"Great, it's next weekend" Jack explained. He then went on a five minute talk about what presents Amy was getting and who was going to be there. He then asked about food and what I could possibly bring.

"How about some Fairy Bread? Kid's love Fairy Bread" I suggested.

"That would be great Joey" Jack said enthusiastically.

"No Problem Jackers" I replied, "I'll get something for Amy on Saturday. I'll see you on Sunday".

"Yeah, see you then Joey. Call if you need any type of help with Molly. Grams, Doug and I would be there as soon as possible if you needed us" Jack offered, his sincerity was undeniable.

"Thanks Jack" I laughed, "Bye"

"Bye"

I put the phone down, falling back on the bed. I closed my eyes and took a shaky breath, what to do what to do.