It seemed that surgeries in London weren't that different from the ones in Portwenn after all. The same delays, unexpected interruptions and malingerers. Even the same raised voices and slammed doors as patients either stormed out or ran away. It was a novelty to her to have a choice of doctors, a different one behind each door. Growing up in the village, she'd only ever seen Dr. Simm when she'd succumbed to a cold or chicken pox. Louisa shivered and hoped that she didn't have one of the grumpier doctors. She'd been lucky enough not to come across Martin's acid tongue – not during a consultation, anyway. Little did she know, in her presence Martin had dredged up the closest to a bedside manner that he was ever likely to.
'Louisa Glasson?'
xxx
Martin came out of the consulting room and was attacked by branches. He spluttered and batted them out of his face. Al looked over and Pauline stifled a smile. Looking around and realising what was going on, Martin sighed inwardly and made an about turn, heading back into the consulting room. Three years ago he'd had his first argument with Pauline on the matter, which fell on deaf ears. At Christmas she regressed to a child –more than usual, that was. He'd learned that ignoring Christmas in Portwenn was damn near impossible, and that the best option was just to go along with it in as painless a way as possible. He heard Pauline muttering to Al.
'He can't always have been such a Scrooge, can he? I mean, a kid who's not excited at Christmas just... isn't a kid.'
'Well, it's hard to imagine the Doc as a kid. I think he must have been born in that suit!'
Grimacing at the memories of disastrous childhood Christmases in which he'd been discharged from the boarding school to his parents, Martin thought instead about Joan, and what he was going to get her for Christmas. Joan was the one person he allowed to involve him in Christmas. Well, apart from last Christmas. He always went up to Joan's farm on the day, to keep her company. If he'd been allowed to go to her as a child, he suspected that the festive season would have been much more enjoyable – but his father was determined that this time of year was a time for family. Just a shame that Christopher Ellingham didn't know the meaning of the word family thought Martin bitterly.
xxx
Normally she was one of the most festive people in the village. Christmas had always been one of Louisa's favourite times of year – her dad had always tried to make it as special as possible. Usually her tree was out on December first, accompanied by tinsel and baubles. Cards from the various children she taught papered her walls. This year however, Christmas was the last thing on her mind.
Her new doctor was friendly, charming and sensitive. Throughout the consultation he explained each step and chatted away incessantly. Though she hadn't wanted a grumpy one, Louisa found the constant talk irritating. She wanted time to think and get her head round things. Be grateful it isn't Martin, she reminded herself. What if she was still in Portwenn? This would be humiliating. But then what if they'd never broken off the wedding? What if they'd never set a date? What if they'd never... you could drive yourself crazy thinking about what if's.
At least the process had been less humiliating than it would have been in Portwenn. Here she was grateful – for once – for the anonymity of London. She could keep her private matters private. She had been able to see a doctor who didn't know her and wouldn't judge her. When she hadn't been able to wait two whole days, she'd been able to go to the chemist, for whom the purchase was probably common and who wouldn't spread the news to everybody she knew. She'd be able to keep to herself for a while the information that she hadn't needed the awful examination to tell her – that she was pregnant.
xxx
'Doc, emergency! At the harbour, someone hit their head and they're unconscious.'
There was a collective groan from Martin and the patients in his packed waiting room. It was dark and overcast outside. The contrast from the lights gave the usually dark surgery a bright and cosy atmosphere. He got his medical bag, got in his car and slowly crawled his way down the hill, for once not forcing the patients into the cold, and allowing them to stay and drink tea.
Portwenn was suffering a harsh winter. Other parts of the country had snow, but being on the coast this was rare. They'd had one day of whiteness before the village became a dark, windswept, treacherous ice land. Martin was being called out at all hours to people who had slipped on the ice or suffered more dangerous injuries. This called him away from his packed surgery, full of people with colds or arthritis which caused a backlog of patients. Far from being worn out, it gave him a constant stream of things to do to keep him busy, and so he could avoid too much thinking. He hated thinking – the destination of his thoughts was often the same, and often painful.
xxx
Louisa was struggling to come to terms with the new information. The school holidays had set in and she spent a lot of time home alone. She had finally moved out of Holly's into a small bedsit. It wasn't ideal, but frankly spending another week with Holly would have driven her mental. So she went for it and got a place that was going cheap since the owner needed it let before Christmas. So here she was now - staring out at the thick snow and going over everything over and over again. How? If truth be told, she wasn't quite sure. Martin wouldn't neglect contraception, he was a doctor. Surely not. But her brain was all fuzzy and overwhelmed. She couldn't really be sure.
But however it had happened, it had happened, and now she wasn't really sure where she stood. Of course, it had happened at probably the worst possible time. After all that had happened, she didn't know how she would even begin to tell Martin. Oh God, what would he say? She would lose her job at the snobby school, which could possibly be a blessing in disguise, but how would she earn? How could she bring up a child in a place that was barely big enough for her alone? Still, at least she could keep the information to herself for a while. She had at least a few weeks. She had to deal with things herself before she told everyone else and open herself up to judgement. She was shocked and tired and frightened, and she didn't have a clue how on earth she was going to cope with this alone. But deep down she knew that this was the child she had longed for, and despite all of her surface feelings, she was elated.