Disclaimer:I don't own the Labyrinth, but I want a goblin!
Identity Crisis
Chapter 6
"It's a flaminga."
"No, you idiot, it's a chicken."
"Flaminga!"
"Do you mean a flaming-o?"
"Yes, I win!"
Beb sighed and considered banging his head continuously against a stone wall to maybe knock free a few brain cells, so he could be as carefree as the rest of his kin. The chicken in question regarded them both for a second and then clucked decisively.
Wendle, meanwhile, had forgotten their intellectual debate and was wandering after the aforementioned chicken chuckling "Flaminga! Flaminga!"
Beb sat down heavily, maybe he could borrow one of the biting spears and chase Wendle around with it, laughing maniacally.
Kip wandered over and Beb almost groaned, now he was chasing two goblins in his daydream. Kip sniffed "SOCK doesn't seem very successful. What have you done so far?"
"He's a bit better." Beb replied, vaguely defensive. Kip was the kind of goblin who could only be compared to the guy next door who walks over to your new car and casually mentions his new Mercedes and several detailed reasons why your car, and ultimately you, are inferior. Simply known as the kind you want to shoot, and then dance a merry jig on their bloodied remains.
And Beb badly wanted to do that.
Kip examined his small nails "A few of us have set up another committee, you know, we call it 'Rescue of the King's mental wellbeing'. ROTK for short. We've already started on our policies, cleaning the castle, and such. What about you?"
Beb pondered on the wisdom of telling Kip to shove ROTK up where the sun don't shine, but knowing Kip, he'd probably use it as propaganda.
Beb sighed "Its…a secret." He said lamely.
Kip looked victorious "Ah well then, we'll see how that makes him feel better."
At that point, Jareth wandered in, looking dazedly happy.
Beb almost danced "Ah," he said with satisfaction. "It worked."
Kip's expression was worth all the chickens in the Underground.
"FLAMINGAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
There was a squawk, and a crash. Kip lay dazedly on the floor, while Wendle clambered up over him to continue his chase of the elusive…flaminga.
Beb almost wet himself laughing.
The room was surprisingly clean, once she had shooed out the chickens (the castle seemed to have a serious infestation). Sarah sighed and sat down on the bed. She finally had one, at least. It took her a moment to collect her thoughts (she had had a traumatic morning – at least that was what she kept telling herself, over and over and over…).
Her thoughts (her desperate attempts at contemplating the weather flew out the window) drifted back to the (traumatic) morning.
After her blame of Icky (who, unbeknownst to her, had shortly after received his own chicken), she had apologised and practically sprinted out.
However, she had soon regretted her hasty decision as she very soon became very much lost. All of the corridors seemed to share the same characteristics of being dusty, dark and dank, with chicken poo (the creatures seem to have explored the castle expressly to excrete everywhere).
In an embarrassing turn of events, she had had to start calling for help. Jareth had appeared, highly amused. This resulted in a grumpy Sarah who maintained she was too mature to sulk, but seemed to be evincing all the symptoms.
She had her own room, at least now.
However, she had no spare change of clothes (Jareth obviously didn't think these ventures through, even though he always had a regular change of clothes) and no toothbrush.
She felt like crying.
Jareth's mental wellbeing could wait, a girl needed her modern amenities and she needed them now.
With that righteous thought in mind, she marched to the throne room (she knew the way, she marked it on the walls with lipstick). However, her strong words shrivelled and died in response to the scene that greeted her.
It was hell, in short.
In a slightly longer version of events, it was several goblins chasing chickens around shrieking something like 'flaminga' while another goblin laughed his ass off. In the middle of the floor a highly affronted goblin (who oddly reminded Sarah of her neighbour with the Mercedes) was dusting himself off. The Goblin King was watching the scene with an amused grin.
He seemed to be the only thing faintly resembling sanity in the proverbial madhouse (albeit in tight pants), so she wandered over to him.
"Um, what the…?" she questioned.
He looked up, caught off guard, still smiling. Sarah stared, suddenly getting the irrational urge to giggle inanely.
Must not…giggle…inanely…
Fighting the urges, she tried to rescue the last vestiges of her earlier argument. It came out something like "Um…I need a (giggle) clothes and (giggle) spare pair of toothbrush."
Sarah did a quick mental playback and almost groaned. She tried to cover up her mistake while not looking at his bemused expression "I need somethings like a toothbrush and some more clothes." She said quickly.
He looked a little less confused. "A toothbrush? Oh right."
He absently handed her something and switched his attention to the goblins, who were patting a harried looking chicken while cooing 'flaminga'.
Sarah frowned at the object in her hand "Um…a papaya?" she questioned.
He turned back to her "Hm. Not good." Jareth said musingly.
From experience, Sarah knew that maybe wasn't good.
"My magic seems to be becoming unpredictable, must be something to do with the Identity Crisis."
"Ah."
A pink flamingo exploded into being next to them.
There was a slight pause as the goblins gazed at the bird for a moment. Then…
"CHICKEEEEEEEEEN!"
Hello again. Apparently review responses are no go now… But thanks everyone. It seems that there was a mixed response to the infamous 'bedroom' scene (which sounds a lot dodgier than it is). Heheheh.
Obligatory please review!
Sheep the Adventurer
Review:)