Thank you kindly to everyone who has reviewed, hopefully I've gotten around to replying to you all by now. This is another chapter i'm not 100% happy with, I don't know what's wrong with me lately but hopefully it hasn't turned out as badly as I think. I think my main concern is trying to incorporate the words from the film and not have it be too repetitive or boring as I know most people would have read/seen it hundreds of times before. Drop me a review and let me know what you think.
Jessica slept restlessly that night. Not only was she weary from the bitter cold but the complete darkness also set her on edge. Whilst they had slept in the forest the stars had always cast a feint glow allowing her to see a little but within the cover of the cave the stars did not reach her eyes and therefore afforded her no sight, leaving her completely blind. She knew Legolas was still awake and was keeping a diligent watch but she was also aware that she was in a completely different world with untold dangers and every slight noise she heard had her jumping.
At one point she heard a rather loud rumbling noise and sat up in panic only to hear Legolas' voice echo quietly in her direction.
"It is just snow fall from high up the mountain, do not be alarmed Jessica."
"Yeah that's what they all say and then we end up getting eaten alive like a scene from The Descent."
He did not reply, but she didn't expect him to. She lay down and once again tried to force herself to sleep.
Jessica felt as if she had only just closed her eyes when she was abruptly shaken awake by one of the hobbits.
"Miss Jessica, the sun is rising; we really must be on our way." Merry whispered to her as she squinted against the dawning light.
"God, I feel rough." She moaned. "Like ten shots of tequila rough."
She sat up and quickly went about her morning routine. She brushed the tangles out of her hair, chewed some gum and applied some perfume. Using her wet wipes she quickly wiped her underarms and face and then replaced all of her things into her handbag and rolled up her blanket and bedroll.
She made her way over to where Legolas stood, just outside the cave and began to unclip his cloak from around her neck.
"Thanks for lending me your cloak." She smiled as she held it out to him.
He slowly turned to her, seeming reluctant to lose sight of the landscape. He raised an eyebrow at his outstretched cloak.
"I presume you will have more need of it than I on this journey. Please use it to keep yourself warm my lady."
"But…" She had no real argument as she knew he didn't feel the cold and that she would probably freeze on her way up the mountain but she felt rude just taking his cloak from him. "I cant, this looks expensive and I'll ruin it by spilling food down it or something."
I don't want to be in debt to a prince. Can he have me beheaded for ruining his stuff?
"It matters not; a cloak is a small price to pay for your life."
He turned away from her and she gathered that the conversation was over. Her first reaction was that he was rather rude to just dismiss her like that but he had just gifted her his fine cloak and the way his eyes roamed the path ahead she could tell that he was intent on watching their way.
They struggled on for most the day much in the same way as they had yesterday. Gimli complained constantly which annoyed most of the companions but Jessica was secretly glad as he was voicing all of her complaints. She was also annoyed to be doing all of the climbing in the blistering cold and wet, when she knew full well that they would be coming straight back down.
Legolas walked past them, his feet next to their heads as he walked on top of the snow, a determined look upon his face. Jessica pulled his cloak tighter around herself and concentrated on inhaling his scent and trying not to think about the numbness in her fingers. Her eyes went once again to Legolas and without her permission they strayed to his rather pert behind. It was then that she tripped and fell face first into Gimli, who was walking in front of her.
"Aye!" He yelled turning around and fixing her with a cold stare as she used his long hair to pull herself up. "Just what do you think you are doing?"
"S-s-sorry." She stuttered, shivering violently as she pushed snow from out of her eyes.
His eyes softened slightly as he watched her shake and he gave her what he hoped was a friendly looking smile.
"Come on lass, keep up."
She was trying her best, but she was only a human, amongst all these 'mythical' creatures. She tried to peer towards the front of the group to see how Boromir was faring but noticed, with annoyance, that he seemed to be keeping pace quite easily. She felt like Boromir was the one she could relate to the most out of the group, as he was the only other human. She couldn't really count Aragorn as the same as her when the guy was over eighty years old and still looked like he was in his thirties. She looked ahead to the see the two human men picking up two hobbits each and continue walking, carrying one on each hip. She had to resist the urge to demand someone carry her.
She noticed Legolas had stopped walking and was peering intently towards the sky, listening to something no one else could hear.
"There is a fell voice on the air." she just about heard him over the roaring of the wind and had to fight the urge to groan, knowing just what was coming next. Inconspicuously, she made her way as close to the wall of the mountain as she could and flattened herself against it, gripping the wall behind her tightly.
"It's Saruman!" She heard Gandalf yell.
A large chunk of rock and snow fell from the mountain top and narrowly avoided hitting the fellowship as they threw themselves back and out of harm's way. A large piece fell and landed directly next to Jessica, lightly grazing her arm and making her jump.
"Saruman, you dick." She muttered, trying to make herself feel better when in reality she was scared out of her mind.
"He's trying to bring down the mountain! Gandalf, we must turn back!" Aragorn's voice sounded demanding as he looked towards the wizard but Gandalf would not be swayed.
"No!"
He stepped forward and began to chant, raising his staff into the air.
"Losto Caradhras, sedho, hodo, nuitho i 'ruith!"
At that moment a large lightening bolt struck the mountain and Jessica watched as Legolas leapt in to the snow and pulled Gandalf back from the edge. A large tidal wave of snow and rock tumbled down from above and buried them all, except Jessica who literally implanted herself into the mountain side as she had known what to expect. She panicked as she lost sight of them all, just snow covering the path before her. She saw movement and suddenly Legolas' head popped out from beneath the snow as he shook his head to clear his face. He pulled himself out of the snowfall and turned to see Jessica, unharmed, plastered to the side of the mountain. He raised an eyebrow at her but quickly turned to start freeing the other members from their icy burial. Jessica decided it was time for her to actually be helpful and started to dig into the snow, helping the others out. She was thankful for Boromir's thick leather gloves as she shovelled snow out of the way, finally seeing Gimli's head appear.
When they were all back above the snow that's when the arguing about how to proceed further started. The hobbits were shivering violently and their feet were an awful pale blue colour as the clung to Aragorn and Boromir.
"We must get off the mountain! Make for the Gap of Rohan and take the west road to my city!" Boromir yelled.
"The Gap of Rohan takes us too close to Isengard!" Aragorn replied eyeing Boromir wearily.
"If we cannot pass over the mountain, let us go under it. Let us go through the Mines of Moria." Gandalf looked fearful at Gimli's words and Jessica felt it too, knowing what awaited them in the mines.
Finally Gandalf spoke.
"Let the ring bearer decide."
"We cannot stay here! This will be the death of the Hobbits." Boromir voiced his concern as they all stared at a stricken looking Frodo.
Frodo looked unsure as he turned to face Jessica who stood, shivering, with her arms wrapped around herself and her hands under her armpits.
"Jessica?" He questioned and she looked at him in shock, knowing that this wasn't in the script. "What should I do?"
She looked at his confused face and realised that, even in the film, he had never been confident in his decision to take the mines and was therefore looking for guidance in the one person he knew he could resolutely trust, one who the ring did not affect.
She looked over to Gandalf who gave her a slight nod and she blew out a deep breath.
"The mines." She whispered and saw the surprised look on Gandalf's face.
"Frodo?" He questioned.
"We will go through the mines." He said with a small smile towards Jessica.
"So be it."
Jessica had avoided moaning the whole way up the mountain but on the way back down she couldn't keep it in anymore and she grumbled to herself as she slipped and slid her way down the mountain.
She was consistently muttering unladylike words when she fell forward for what she felt was the hundredth time.
"Fu-uuck!" she swore loudly as she slipped gracelessly before catching her balance and falling to her knees.
"My lady, please!" She heard the disapproval in Boromir's voice at her cursing.
She looked up to see the hobbits weren't faring any better than her at manoeuvring in the snow but Gimli, Boromir, Aragorn, Legolas and Gandalf had yet to fall even once.
She laughed as she saw Pippin come sliding past her on his back after taking a tumble, and suddenly she had an idea. Wrapping Legolas' cloak securely around her she moved so that she was lying sideward on her back and then rolled until she had picked up enough speed and the snow was then carrying her down the mountain.
Upon seeing this, the hobbits, minus Sam who stayed to lead Bill, all copied Jessica, laughing joyously as they rolled down the mountain side.
Finally the fellowship made it to the bottom of the mountain where they found Jessica and the hobbits sat around a small fire all talking quietly.
"That was indeed a novel way of making it down." Gandalf commented looking at Jessica with a small smile.
They continued walking until they made it to the walls of the mines and then they headed on towards the West Gate of Moria. Jessica noticed Gandalf was talking quietly with Frodo and remembered from the film that at this point Frodo would be questioning who he could trust.
From behind her she heard Gimli suck in a sharp breath.
"The walls of Moria!" He breathed in awe.
Everyone continued on and Jessica turned to give Gimli an impressed nod.
"Dwarves built this?" She asked hoping to actually have a civil conversation with the dwarf but instead her question seemed to have the opposite effect on the dwarf as he muttered something in his own tongue and then walked past her. She frowned and gave him the finger behind his back, much to the distaste of Boromir. Legolas gave her a small smile from in front, which she assumed was just because she had somehow managed to piss Gimli off. It was after all, Legolas' favourite past time.
Jessica hurried to catch up with the others and managed to hear the rest of the conversation that was occurring between Gimli and Gandalf.
"Dwarf doors are invisible when closed." She heard Gimli mutter, his voice held a hint of his annoyance, but Jessica still couldn't figure out what had managed to offend the dwarf.
"Yes, Gimli, their own masters cannot find them if their secrets are forgotten." Gandalf replied with a small smile.
She saw Legolas roll his eyes.
"Why does that not surprise me?"
They all stopped when Gandalf did and listened as he spoke to himself.
"Well, let's see. Ithildin. It mirrors only starlight and moonlight."
They looked up in awe as an outline within the rocks began to glow and a door with elvish inscriptions appeared under the moonlight.
"It reads "The doors of Durin, Lord of Moria. Speak, friend, and enter.""
"What do you suppose that means?" Merry asked.
"Oh it's quite simple. If you are a friend you speak the password and the doors will open." Jessica sighed, knowing she was in for a long wait.
"Annon Edhellen edro hi ammen! ennas Nogothrim lasto beth lammen!" He chanted, raising his staff.
"Nothing's happening." Pippin spoke up.
"State the obvious." Jessica muttered as she sat down on a rather large rock and watched as Gandalf pushed at the doors, to no avail.
The rest of the fellowship decided to take seats as Legolas moved to stand at the side of the doors, looking out onto the water in front of them.
"I once knew every spell in all the tongues of the Elves, Men, and Orcs." Gandalf muttered.
"What are you going to do, then?" Pippin asked and Jessica cringed at his tone.
"Knock your head against these doors, Peregrin Took! And if that does not shatter them and I am allowed a little peace from foolish questions I will try to find the opening words!"
The resounding silence after Gandalf's little rant was deafening and Jessica shifted uncomfortably.
After a further five minutes of silence Jessica let out a low whistle which caused everyone to turn towards her.
"Awkward…" She smiled self consciously.
"Ando Eldarinwa a lasta quettanya, Fenda Casarinwa!" Gandalf spoke once again.
She watched as Aragorn approached Sam and told him that he had to set the pony free. She then noticed Merry was skimming stones into the lake and she rose from her place where she was sitting to go stand by the walls.
As far away from the water as I can get…
Legolas raised an eyebrow at her as she stood next to the wall but didn't say anything.
She saw Aragorn approach Pippin and stop him from throwing stones.
"Do not disturb the water."
She had to resist from shuddering knowing what was lurking within its depths.
"Oh it's useless!" Gandalf sighed, throwing his staff on the ground.
She could hear Gimli still grumbling from nearby and heard Legolas let out a small chuckle, clearly understanding the dwarf's words.
"What did I do to upset him?" She asked Legolas quietly, so as not to be heard by Gimli.
Legolas did not look at her, his eyes still intently focused on the water in front of them.
"During the alliance between the Firstborn Children of Ilúvatar and the dwarves of Aulë, the elves were called upon by the dwarves to build these walls as they wished to use Elven magic to seal and protect their mines."
"Ah." Jessica smiled, realisation dawning. "I asked him if dwarves built the walls."
"A sore subject, no doubt." Legolas nodded and gave her a small smile.
"That's why the riddle above the door is in Elvish!" Jessica exclaimed, just now realising why a dwarf door held an Elvish riddle.
She looked over to where Gandalf sat staring at the door in anger, Frodo sitting quietly at his side.
Surely he was meant to have figured it out by now? This is taking forever, and the longer we spend by this water the more creeped out I'm getting. How can I speed this up without changing anything?
"Man, I am hungry." She said rather loudly. As usual she saw Pippin was about to join in with her plea for food but she quickly spoke again. She was trying to drop a subtle hint not actually complain about her lack of food, though she wouldn't object to a Nando's right about now. "You know what I really fancy? Some watermelon." She spoke, pronouncing the world slowly as they all turned to look at her like she had finally lost her capacity to think independently. "Do you guys have that here? Watermelon?" she looked intently at Frodo who shook his head at her, totally missing her subtle hints.
What if he doesn't know that mellon is the Elvish word for friend and I'm just making myself look like a massive twat?
She sighed, shrugging her shoulders at the strange looks she was receiving and eventually they all turned back to their own conversations.
After a further thirty minutes of standing around Jessica turned to look at Legolas as surreptitiously as she could.
"You know when you said you have lived a long time by human standards, just how long did you mean?"
Legolas looked a little surprised at her question but he turned to face her with a calm expression.
"What age would you give me?" He asked her.
Her eyes widened, unsure if he was mocking her or flirting with her but she thought since he had practically given her an invitation to look at him then she'd take the chance to inspect him at leisure. She let her eyes start at his boots and then slowly roam their way up to his face, taking in his lithe figure, strong hands and high cheekbones. He still stood with a calm expression on his face, his eyes on the water, though she knew he could feel her blatant stare.
"Well by appearance alone I would place you in your late twenties but I know elves at that age are still pretty much children so you have to be older than that."
He turned and smirked at her.
"So my age, what say you?"
"I'm going to go with two hundred, but it's a complete guess. You can't tell an elf's age just by looking at them."
He smiled and shook his head.
"Higher?" She asked and he nodded. She whistled slightly. "Three hundred?"
He shook his head again and Jessica's eyes widened.
"Fuck right off, you can't be older than three hundred. That's three hundred years old!"
"I possess many more years in age than that of three hundred."
"How many more years?" She asked sceptically.
There was a pause and then finally he spoke.
"Two thousand, six hundred and thirty one more."
When she made no reply Legolas cast a glance at his companion only to find her wide unblinking eyes fixed upon him and her mouth open wide.
"Jessica?"
"That… that would make you… two thousand, nine hundred and thirty one years old." She finished, her voice no more than a whisper.
"I am."
"That's just… just no. People just don't live that long. I'm still amazed that a tortoise can live to be one hundred and fifty."
"But I am an elf." He said as if that answered everything.
She gaped at him repeating his age once more, her brain physically incapable of comprehending how someone could live that long.
He looks good for his age. Remember that time you felt really weird/ nymph like for having a crush on your forty year old lecturer in university? Well that was nothing! Two thousand, nine hundred and thirty one!
"I feel so young!" She exclaimed. "I'm only… wait what's the date?" She trailed off counting how many days it had been since she had arrived in Middle-earth. "Oh! It's my birthday today, I'm twenty-four!"
"Birthday?"
"Yeah, you know, it's been twenty-four years since my day of birth."
"Ah. Then I wish you a happy day of birth neth min. Elves do not commemorate such an occasion; we mark our age by celebrating the day of our conception."
Jessica blanched.
"You celebrate the day your parents... got it on?"
He looked at her in confusion recognising she had spoken of something to do with being intimate but not understanding its context.
"That's just… weird. Thinking about my parents doing it would just ruin my birthday. As far as I'm concerned my parents had sex once, hated every moment and only went through with it so they could have their amazing daughter… me, obviously."
He smiled, understanding her meaning.
"Elves have few children and their creation is to be celebrated. The conception of an elfling is a sacred thing to my kin."
Legolas resumed his watch and Jessica sat down heavily in a patch of grass. Small flowers were growing within it, which surprised her considering how dark and gloomy everything else was that surrounded them. They looked like daisies and Jessica plucked a few and began linking them together to make a headband.
"Daro!" Legolas' voice sounded sharp as she looked up at him in alarm, not understanding his words. "Please do not disturb the plants, they have feelings neth min."
All I wanted to do was make a daisy chain and now I feel like a murderer. A slayer of flower families.
She was thoroughly done with waiting.
"Hey Frodo!" she called as he turned to face her. "Let's play a game."
"What kind of game?"
"Oh I don't know, a word game maybe? Do you know any riddles?" she pronounced the last word slowly and carefully and watched as Frodo began to think.
"I'm not sure I know any – oh! Gandalf! It's a riddle. Speak "friend" and enter. What's the Elvish word for friend?"
"Mellon." He replied.
The stone doors creaked loudly and then slowly began to open.
Jessica almost did a victory dance but was glad she chose not to as she was a terrible dancer and the only two dances she knew were to Single Ladies and Gangnam Style.
The fellowship stood and made their way into Moria, all of them smiling at finally being allowed entrance.
"Soon master Elf you will enjoy the fabled hospitality of the Dwarves. Roaring fires, malt beer, ripe meat off the bone! This, my friend, is the home of my cousin Balin. And they call it a mine. A mine!" Gimli smiled and Jessica laughed at the look on Legolas' face which basically said 'never in a million years.'
She saw the others begin to look around with the limited light in which they were afforded.
That was when they saw them; dead dwarves lay slain on the floor with arrows sticking from their chests and heads.
"This is no mine. It's a tomb!" Boromir was first to break the shocked silence.
"Oh! No! Nooo!" Jessica could hear Gimli's anguished cry from beside her.
Legolas pulled an arrow from one of the fallen dwarves and examined it carefully before throwing it away in disgust.
"Goblins!" He spat.
He then grabbed an arrow from his quiver and put it to his bow, readying for a fight. The sound of swords being released followed as Aragorn and Boromir held their weapons at the ready.
In the panic the hobbits started to edge back towards the door, Jessica following them closely.
"Now get out of here! Get out!" Boromir commanded them.
They made their way outside and Jessica moved to stand to the side of them, knowing what was to come and not wanting to be anywhere near Frodo when the monster decided to show itself.
Suddenly Frodo yelled in fear as he was raised above the ground and pulled high into the air by what looked to be a slimy tentacle.
"Frodo!" The hobbits yelled in unison.
"Strider!" Sam yelled as he raced forward, drawing his weapon as Frodo called for help. "Get off him!"
The monster released Frodo and quickly batted Sam to the side before once more grabbing hold of Frodo.
Jessica watched as the monster raised itself out of the water and for the first time, outside of the movie, she caught a real glimpse of the Watcher in the water.
"Fuck me, that thing looks like a vagina." She muttered in disgust as she saw its mouth open wide like a gaping hole in its face.
An arrow sounded through the air as Legolas fired at the Watcher with skilled accuracy. Aragorn and Boromir raced into the water, swords high, and began slashing at its tentacles. Boromir hit at the tentacle holding Frodo and as the hobbit fell; Boromir caught him and began to make his way back into the mine. He almost made it but the Watcher reached out and grabbed at his ankle, causing him to fall to the ground.
Jessica watched with a rising panic as she realised that this part was definitely not in the film. Legolas kept firing but it seemed to have no affect on the monster. Thinking quickly, Jessica opened up her handbag and pulled out the packet of Quavers she still had inside. Opening the crisps she began to throw them into the water, rustling the packet noisily and hoping to get its attention.
It seemed to work as the Watcher turned a beady eye upon her and released Boromir from its grip. Jessica smiled in triumph before realising its gaze was now fixed solely on her. Without warning she felt something slimy coiling around her ankles and before she could yell she was hanging upside down in the air.
The monster dangled Jessica above its head, its mouth opening wide and Jessica forgot all of her bravado and shrieked like a little girl.
"Good monster! You don't want to eat me; I'm all skin and bones. I'd taste horrible! Surely you'd prefer the delicacy of a meaty hobbit!"
She heard the indignant yell of Pippin but she didn't have much chance to apologise as it lowered her towards the black hole that was its mouth.
She felt and heard an arrow fly past her head and watched in awe as it landed directly in the Watcher's eye. It thrashed violently in the water, releasing Jessica and throwing her into the lake some feet away. She spluttered loudly and splashed her way to the top. She swam as fast as she could towards the land, with the Jaws theme tune playing sinisterly in her head.
Legolas pulled her from the water, quickly grabbing her bag and dragging her towards the mine. The Watcher reached out a long tentacle after them as they narrowly avoided its grasp. They made it inside just as the monster slammed the gate shut. Rocks dropped down as the roof collapsed, sealing them inside.
The fellowship stood around, all of them breathing hard and Jessica ringing the water from her soaking hair.
Gandalf created a small light from his staff and they all cast weary glances around at their surroundings.
Jessica said a quiet 'thank you' to Legolas who gave her a small nod.
"At least now you have had the chance to bathe." Gandalf chucked as he looked at her.
Her eyes widened as she paused in the act of ringing out her wet hair. She could hear the water from her clothes dripping on the floor and could feel the puddles in her shoes.
"That was not bathing, that was me getting flung around in the air by the Kraken… during which I almost drowned. And let's not forget that Cthulhu tried to eat me like a chicken wing!" she resisted the urge to stomp her foot like a petulant child as Gandalf only laughed.
The wizard walked past her putting a warm hand on her wet shoulder and continued on, over the floor and up the steps.
"Quietly now. It's a four-day journey to the other side. Let us hope that our presence may go unnoticed."
"We should be so lucky." Jessica muttered as Gandalf cast a knowing glance towards her. She sighed loudly. "Happy birthday to me!"
TRANSLATIONS:
Losto Caradhras, sedho, hodo, nuitho i 'ruith! - Sleep Caradhras, be still, lie still, hold your wrath!
Annon Edhellen edro hi ammen! ennas Nogothrim lasto beth lammen! - Gate of the Elves open now for me! Doorway of the Dwarf-folk listen to the word of my tongue!
Ando Eldarinwa a lasta quettanya, Fenda Casarinwa! - Gate of Elves listen to my word, Threshold of Dwarves.
Neth min – Young one.
Daro - Stop.
Please review, even if it's only a few words, it's always nice to know if people are liking this story... or loathing it!