Chapter 6: Dreams and Lampposts

Alistair was sitting in a place he knew well – the Chantry classroom. An elderly chantry sister was saying, "Alistair, stop daydreaming and step up to the chalkboard." He pried himself away from the overly small student desk, walked over to the sister and took a stick of chalk from her hand, then turned to the chalkboard. He stared at a confusing array of numbers and symbols that started to move around before his eyes. Then he looked down and realized he was wearing nothing but his small clothes. Not this dream again.

He heard shouting in the hallway, and ran out to investigate. He was surrounded by darkspawn. The chalk in his hand grew into a sword, a shield grew out of his arm, and he flew into the battle. Hack, slice, shield bash, stab, spin, swing - again and again, one after another darkspawn fell, until he was standing in a pool of black corrupted blood, and still they kept coming. Little by little they beat him down until he was overwhelmed… and fell. I wonder how I can scream when my body is cut up into little pieces…

"Alistair! Alistair, wake up!" a familiar voice, but so hard to hear over that screaming…

Abruptly the screaming stopped, and Alistair opened his eyes to look into a pair of worried green eyes. "Alistair, are you OK? You were having a nightmare. I couldn't wake you." She was in his tent, hands on his shoulders, her face a few inches from his. For a moment he just looked into her pretty face, her breath warm on his face, lips so close…

Virae sat back and smiled at him. "Darkspawn nightmare?" He nodded and began to sit up, but as the blanket fell away he remembered he was wearing only his small clothes and clutched the blanket to his chest.

She patted his shoulder, "go back to sleep, it's another hour before sunrise." Then she slipped out of his tent.

Alistair laid back on his bedroll again and tried to relax, listening to her footsteps as she walked back over to the campfire. Virae was always willing to take Last Watch, he mused, said she liked to watch the sun rise. Sure, watching a sunrise now and then was nice, but not usually worth getting out of bed for, in his opinion. Alistair preferred First Watch, that was more like just staying up late. Usually it was a good arrangement – he woke her when she was having a darkspawn nightmare, and – like just now - she woke him.

Alistair tried to go back to sleep, but his thoughts kept straying back to Virae keeping watch with Caraid, so he decided to get dressed and join her.

The pre-dawn air was cool and crisp, and Alistair took in a deep breath of the pine scented air.

Virae was sitting on a log with her back to the fire, so her eyes would remain adjusted to the dark surrounding camp. Her loose hair hung to her waist, and glowed in the firelight. Caraid was sitting next to her, and she was scratching his ears affectionately. Alistair walked over quietly, and settled down on the log next to her.

She looked up at him, "Couldn't get back to sleep? Must have been a bad one."

Alistair groaned, "Yes, well… it started out as a recurring nightmare I used to have, about standing in front of a classroom, wearing just my small clothes."

"Oh?" Virae grinned, "That would be worth walking the fade to see."

Alistair rolled his eyes, "Ha ha, very funny," But then the thought of Virae intruding upon some of his other dreams hit him, and he gasped, "Wait, you can't really do that can you?"

"Nah," she punched him playfully, but then added with a mischievous grin "Not without a large amount of lirium, anyway."

Alistair examined her face and decided she was teasing him.

"Did you see the Archdemon?" she asked.

"No. Just fighting wave after wave of darkspawn until they finally overwhelm me and hack me to pieces." Alistair grimaced.

"Ah", Virae nodded, "One of the better darkspawn dreams, then."

"Actually, they're getting worse," Alistair said grimly.

Virae whispered, "mine too."

Alistair got up to tend the fire. Building the fire and keeping it going was one of his favorite jobs around camp. There was a certain art to arranging it and feeding it just so. Virae had a tendency to just throw logs on top when it burned down. Once he had it built up and arranged to his satisfaction, he rejoined Virae who was smiling at him thoughtfully.

"I was thinking about those dogs that raised you."

Alistair smiled, that was one of his better humorous stories, "You mean slobbering dogs."

"Right. Slobbering dogs. The best kind." Virae rubbed Caraid's head again, then tipped her head toward Alistair. "I wondered if you remember anything about Arl Eamon's estate in Denerim."

Alistair stiffened, and glanced warily at the other Grey Warden - the elf-mage with lightning fast intuition and an entire library stored in her head. Did she suspect his secret? Maybe this was as good a time as any to tell her… except then she'd probably treat him differently… "Why do you ask?"

"I've been there. My aunt – really my mother's aunt – worked there, in the kitchens. When I was young, she brought me to the estate with her, occasionally."

Alistair relaxed, "I was there a couple times when I was little. I don't remember that well, Eamon only took me with him when Isolde stayed behind in Redcliffe. I remember Eamon buying me a golem figure at a shop in the market." He tried to imagine what she might have looked like as a child, "So, there's a chance we might have met as children? I think I would have remembered a pretty little elf girl."

Virae laughed, "If you had seen me, what you would remember is a little elf boy. Mamae made sure I was dressed like a boy whenever I left the alienage." Virae shook her head, "You and I never met before… before I joined the Grey Wardens."

Alistair tried to remember the servants that worked for Eamon at the estate, "So, what's her name? Your aunt, that is."

"Her name is Shima." Virae paused, then added sadly, "The last letter I had from her was two months before I was conscripted. I hope she's alright."

They sat in companionable silence for a few minutes. Alistair looked up at the Eastern sky and noticed that fewer stars were visible, the sky was getting lighter.

"Do you hear that?" she whispered.

Alistair heard only the crackling and popping of the too-damp wood he'd put on the fire. "Hear what?"

"The day birds are waking, and the night birds are preparing to sleep." There was awe in Virae's voice.

He listened, and indeed he did hear many different birds singing and calling.

"The sun will be up soon," she said, and leaned against him.

He put his arm around her and she cuddled against him, both of them looking toward the East where the sun would soon be making its first appearance of the day. He noticed how small and vulnerable she felt, and her smell. Like rosemary and an exotic sweet flower… it reminded him of flowers that Isolde kept in the atrium at Redcliffe castle. It had been one of his favorite places to hide –mostly because it was forbidden, and also because no one thought of looking for him there. He breathed in her fragrance again. There was something else… a sort of base scent that left a metallic taste on the tongue like... he wrinkled his nose... like mage lightening.

Virae sighed, "I do so enjoy your company, Alistair."

"Really?" Alistair smiled, "because I feel the same way."

Virae pulled away just a little, and twisted around so that she was facing him. She reached one hand up and gently stroked his face, he felt his skin warming beneath her touch. She smiled up at him uncertainly, and then slowly slipped her other hand around the back of his neck and tentatively pulled his mouth to hers.

Her lips were cool, and soft, as she kissed his mouth. She pulled back very slightly, searching his face.

His heart was pounding in his chest. "That was nice," he whispered. She smiled and pressed her lips to his again. He closed his eyes and exhaled a breath he hadn't known he was holding, parting his lips, and her tongue darted between them. It ran over his lower teeth, then searched his mouth. Of its own accord, his tongue met hers, and followed it into her mouth. He felt heat building in his belly, spreading warmth throughout his body. Their lips and tongues moved together for long moments, before she broke off gasping, "Oh, Alistair."

Suddenly, she moved so that she was sitting in his lap, her elf-sized body pressed urgently against his. Her mouth met his again, and he returned the kiss hungrily. His entire focus was on her, one hand was caressing her back, holding her close against him, the other tangled in her hair. Distantly he became aware of a tightness in his trousers that was pressed against her thigh. She slid her hand down his chest, his belly, and he gasped in shock as her hand traced the hard outline between his legs.

"Your tent or mine?" she whispered.

Virae was sat with her knees drawn up to her chest, and Leliana knelt behind her, braiding her hair. "Oh Leliana, I am such an idiot," Virae voice was muffled, her forehead resting against her knees.

"Oh mon ami, surely it could not have been that bad!"

"You're right, it was worse. Much worse. I made a complete fool of myself, Leli! I invited him to bed, and he ran away from me." Virae had never felt so undesirable, or so rejected.

"Perhaps it's not just about you."

"Oh right." Virae found that she couldn't shake her head, with Leliana holding her hair, "The very worst part is, I think I really hurt his feelings."

"The man is an ex-Templer, is he not? He was raised in the Chantry where they have certain ideas about these things. Why don't you just talk to him?"

"Except that he's not speaking to me."

They packed up camp and set out as usual. Alistair managed to avoid her all morning, but still blushed every time Virae tried to catch his eye. Virae approached him when they stopped for their mid-day rest and meal.

Virae sat next to him, "Look, Alistair, I want to apologize. And explain."

"That's not necessary." He looked away.

"I think it is." Virae ran her hand over her head – Leliana's braid was too loose to be practical, too many strands getting in her eyes. "Come on, I know my hair looks silly, but you can look at me anyway."

A small smile tugged at the corner of his lip, but he still wasn't looking at her.

"Alistair, most mages have a fairly relaxed attitude about… bed partners. Circle mages don't expect to fall in love. We live our whole lives under control of the Chantry. Few mages are allowed to get married, or have children. If I ever had a baby, the Chantry would take it away and I'd never see him or her again. We value friendship more than any other relationship, because it can last a lifetime. It's very common for a mage to share his or her bed with a friend."

Alistair looked at her reluctantly, "Before, you said that you never… you know."

"Never licked a lamppost in winter?" Virae shook her head, "I haven't. But, not because I didn't want to. Most mages, ah, lick many different lampposts. Often." She didn't quite keep the frustration out of her voice, "But there was this crazy obsessed Templer at the Tower who made sure I never had the opportunity."

Virae's face became perplexed. "Wait, ah, when you said 'lick a lamppost in winter', before, you were talking about se-"

"Yes," Alistair interrupted. "Yes, that's what I meant." He sighed, "It's just that, I wasn't raised to take that sort of thing lightly".

"I understand," Virae said gently, "But you're not in the Chantry anymore."

Alistair finally looked her in the eye, "Well, you're not in the Tower anymore."

"Point taken." Virae smiled back, but then her frustration got the better of her and she couldn't resist adding, "Let me know if you change your mind."

Thank you again to "Angry Girl" for another review, I do so appreciate it!

;-)