"Okay, your turn." Kendall's hand gripped his end of the frayed blanket, gaze alternating between the just visible stars above the tallest surrounding buildings, and James, who sat next to him holding the other end of the blanket around his shoulders. The brunet's breath puffed out in a little white cloud as he thought to himself before asking, "Favourite colour."

"Um . . . I think blue." Kendall bit his lip as he thought of his next question. "Your favourite song?"

"Oh, that's a tough one," James chuckled, nudging him in the side. "I think it might be 'I knew you were trouble'."

Kendall laughed, teeth bright against the darkness around his pale face. Even in this low light, his eyes still shone strongly. "Taylor Swift? Is this because of all your bad breakups?"

"She helps me cope with them," James replied stubbornly. He'd had enough boyfriends, friends or just strangers mock his music taste to last him a lifetime. "Plus, have you seen her? I mean, I'm gay but damn."

"Yeah, I guess I see your point." Kendall gave him a teasing smirk. "She is very pretty. Back before I moved in with Beau I did listen a little, I think most people probably did. They'll just save that secret for the grave. Though honestly, I pictured you as more of a Justin Bieber kind of guy."

"Because of my bewitching good looks? Yeah, I get that a lot," James teased, prodding him in the side. Kendall's laughter made his heart jump strangely, and he found his voice shook a little as he said, "I've got another one. What's your favourite movie moment?"

Kendall bit his lip, looking up at the sky before turning and shaking his head at James, cheeks flushing as he bit into his bottom lip. Being embarrassed about what they loved seemed to be something they had in common. "You're going to think it's super cheesy."

"I like cheesy. Go on, tell me." He lowered his voice suggestively. "I'll show you mine if you show me yours."

Kendall sniggered. Then, to James' surprise, he rested his head on his shoulder and gave a contented sigh. There was a hesitance in this movement, that even though at first it seemed very forward, James could tell he must've been considering it for some time. Strange that anyone would ever give him that much thought. "Okay. The end of The Breakfast Club. It's my favourite movie and my favourite moment."

"Why?"

"I don't know . . . the song just gets me, for one thing. I always had the biggest crush on John Bender. I'm a fan of anything from the '80s. And I guess the whole movie feels so real and it all just ties together at the end." Kendall shrugged. "It's silly, really."

"So what were you in high school?" James asked curiously. "A brain, an athlete?" He gave a sly smile. "A princess?"

"No, idiot." Kendall rolled his eyes, looking up at him. Then he gave a shy smile and said, "I think you're crazy to make me write an essay telling me who you think I am. You see me as you want to see me, in the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions, but what I found out is that I am simply a basket case." He paused, giving a small giggle. "Personally, while I love the idea of being a bit of everything, I'm not sure I am. I've never been anything remotely close to a princess. Not much of a brain either."

"Not a criminal?"

"Not yet, anyway." Kendall snuggled closer into James' warmth and shut his eyes. James sat there, pondering and frittering away on what to do and what not to do. At last, he reached carefully around Kendall's thin body and gripped his end of the blanket, wrapping the blond up in his arms and keeping them sheltered all at once. "Are you warmer now?" he asked. "We can go back inside . . ."

"I'm okay. I like it out here," Kendall insisted, free arms draping loosely around James' waist. "Unless you've got somewhere to be."

"I probably can't stay much longer . . ." James' thumb gently stroked Kendall's shoulder. "Shay will be waiting for me, I guess." He winced. Crap.

Kendall suddenly jolted away from him, eyes wide. "Shay, y-yeah. Of course." He cleared his throat, scooting back on the roof and standing up, taking the blanket with him and folding it up in his arms. James stared mindlessly up at him, wondering that the hell was going on until Kendall quickly said, "Well, aren't you going to come down?" before sticking the folded blanket under his arm and beginning to climb down the ladder.

"Right . . . yeah, I was just . . ." He gave up, sighing and making his way towards the ladder. Why was it he always had to say things without thinking?

His foot slipped on a rung and he counted it as the millionth stupid thing he'd done in his lifetime.

As he swung back through the window, he saw Kendall putting the blanket down and busying himself around the apartment, moving things and tidying things that didn't need to be tidied, jaw slightly clenched. James just stood there and watched, wanting to help but fearing, and knowing, it would only make things worse. At last Kendall straightened up and looked at him, swallowing before saying in a small voice, "Are you going to go?"

"Y-yeah, sorry . . ." James turned towards the door, but then faltered in his step. "You know, I think I'll just go down the fire escape. I need a bit more adventure in my life."

Kendall snorted. "Climbing down a metal flight of stairs instead of a stone one isn't much of a step to intrepid adventuring." But he looked a little perked up, so James just winked at him, put on his jacket and swung out of the window, standing on the little platform outside and turning to head down the steps. "I'll see you around, basket case."

"Wait!"

James turned and glanced through the window, eyes widening at how close their faces were. Kendall was leaning out of the window, elbows resting on the windowsill. Their eyes locked and his lip quivered slightly. "I . . ." His cheeks flushed and words stumbled out, "You never told me your favourite movie moment."

"Oh, you're right." James rested an arm on the windowsill, hand so subtlety resting over Kendall's. The blond gave it a squeeze, gripping it surprisingly tightly, what with his fragile body type that still reminded him of expensive stained glass windows. "It's every bit as cheesy as yours, honestly. But aren't they all?"

Kendall nodded, asking quietly, "Are you going to tell me or not?"

"It's the scene from Shrek, where they play Hallelujah. You know the one?"

"I know it. Sad scene, nice music." Kendall grinned at him. "So, that's your movie? Shrek?"

"It's romantic, okay!"

"You're gonna have to give me more reason than that."

"It's the only movie I've ever seen where the gross but hilarious and sarcastic guy actually found a girl as gross and funny and sarcastic as he is?" James tried.

"Right, okay." Kendall chuckled. "I guess it's got a nice message. Though I'll never figure out how Donkey and Dragon got together."

"Well, you know . . ." James shrugged. "Sometimes there are really weird combinations put together, like two people who could never normally be together . . . but it happens anyway."

Kendall nodded in agreement, eyes staring James down, wide and searching. James swallowed and stared back, until Kendall's gaze dropped and he murmured, "Goodnight."

James moved his hand away, suddenly noticing how cold it felt. "I . . ." He clamped his mouth shut tightly and at last managed to reply, "Goodnight." before hurrying down the fire escape stairs and down to the concrete ground below. As he headed away from the steps, he glanced back over his shoulder to see that Kendall was still standing at the windowsill, watching him. James looked up at him, and even though it was dark he hoped Kendall could see that he was sorry and that he wondered if he was forgiven. But then Kendall smiled, face lit up from the light in the apartment, and James grinned back, knowing now that he was. Kendall waved to him, before stepping back and shutting the window, closing the curtains and cutting off the light from the alley. The closest source of light now was from the street lights back out in the rest of the world, where people still went about their business like everything was normal. James moved out to join them, headed off to where he'd parked the car, and drove home.

He went to bed with Shay. He imagined the plain blue walls around him, dark grey as he looked at them now, swirling with blinding colours that clashed and collided in splats and streaks, dripping down onto the furniture and the carpet, hardening and staining it and staying there forever. As he tore his eyes away and stared up at the ceiling, he saw stars that stayed even when he closed his eyes, twinkling behind his eyelids and swirling occasionally. He had that Simple Minds hit stuck in his head, resisting the urge to hum along to it as he tried to get to sleep.

Don't you forget about me . . .

Shut up, James. Go to sleep.

"I am simply a basket case."

Will you stand above me? Look my way, never love me . . .

I want to be with him. No I don't. Go to sleep.

Rain keeps falling, rain keeps falling . . .

"Goodnight, basket case."

Down, down, down . . .

I'm in deep shit.

Stumbling blindly through the streets had become a habit of his. A somewhat embarrassing one, but like all habits, he had his justified reasons and didn't need to explain them to anyone. If he wanted to bite his nails down to nothing, he would. If he wanted to say 'sorry' an inappropriate amount of times or chew a pack of gum a day, he could do so. If he wanted to search until he located a basket case with green eyes and freckles and a smile he saw every time he got lost in his thoughts, then fuck it, he would. And he'd enjoy it too.

James then finally spotted Kendall, standing among the throngs of people hurrying past on the street, obviously with better places to be and more important things to do. It was funny, how long it always took to spot him. Then when he did it was as sudden as a slap in the face. Kendall stood there holding a bouquet of sunflowers in his hand. He held a separate one in his other hand, offering it to strangers as they passed by. James had to suppress a laugh when he saw Merlin draped across Kendall's shoulders, in full view of all the potential customers. One man stopped to smile fondly at him, gently tickling the cat underneath his furry chin. The animal played it up and looked like he was having the time of his life. The man bought a flower and moved on, looking over his shoulder and grinning at that little thing that had brightened up his whole morning. It was sweet.

As James walked closer, he saw a little girl walking in his direction, holding her mother's hand and a cookie in her other hand. Her little pink parka jacket and her hat atop her curly dark hair, in James' opinion, made her look a little like a marshmallow. But she was probably very cosy, which was important. She squealed when she looked up and saw Merlin atop Kendall's shoulders, like a trusty sidekick from many of the movies she'd probably watched.

"A kitty!" she shrieked, letting go of her mother's hand and pointing up at Merlin, jumping up and down. Her mom clearly looked displeased that her daughter was taking an interest in such a straggly pair, but Kendall just beamed at the girl and knelt down on the ground, the girl immediately going to stroke Merlin now that he was in reach. "He's soooo sweet! What's his name?!"

Oh sweetie. James rolled his eyes, wincing slightly as he remembered the pain caused to his thigh and to his self-confidence, thanks to a damn cat. If you only knew. James watched as Kendall told the girl all about Merlin and his habits and personality and his story, a proud smile on his face that was really just one of the cutest things James had ever seen. It made him wish he had a pet. Often, he could never really think of why he didn't have one. He probably wasn't responsible enough for it. And he knew he'd always have that fear of the complete devastation when it died or ran away, because either one would happen eventually. It was hard enough when his boyfriends ditched him.

"Mommy," the girl said excitedly. "Can we buy a flower off the cat man?"

"Camille, sweetie, we need to be getting home," the mother began, looking away as though this act of selfishness greatly distressed her. How awkward the poor woman must feel. James scowled.

"Pleaaaaasseeeee," Camille begged, tugging on her hand. "He has to feed his kitty or he'll die!" James had never been a fan of little kids. Sure, working with them was okay but he always feared setting them off. They were like ticking bombs, and he had no idea what to do when they got upset. However, what he did love about them was their innocent acceptance of the world around them and their dramatic take on anything and everything they came across.

She gave an impatient sigh. "Oh, alright." She turned to Kendall, her mouth stiff as she dug around in her handbag. "How much?"

"$3," Kendall told her, and James had a feeling that he was trying his very best to be polite and pleasant towards her, smiling warmly as if her attitude didn't offend him in the slightest. Still, maybe it didn't. He really wasn't the kind of person who got easily upset by what people said or did around him. Except for when James did stupid things. And then he just didn't show what he was feeling, unlike Shay who made it as obvious as possible. The woman handed the money over, jaw clenched. "Thank you!" Kendall chirped, but looked down at Camille instead of her mother. He bent down and handed her the large sunflower. "Now, this isn't a real flower so you don't need to water it. But you still need to take care of it, okay?"

"Okay," Camille nodded solemnly, holding the flower close to her chest. "Bye Merlin!" She awkwardly patted the cat's head before her mother put an arm around her and tried to usher her on. However, before she could, Camille suddenly darted back and pushed something into Kendall's hand. James tried to look closer and see what it was, smiling to himself when he saw that it was her big cookie. Then she ran off after her mother, holding her sunflower like precious treasure. As soon as they passed him, James hurried over to Kendall, who was staring at the cookie the little girl had given him.

Kendall looked up and saw James. "She gave me her big cookie," he said numbly, holding it up. "How sweet is that? And she called me the cat man!" He broke the cookie in half and shoved one half into James' hand before he could say anything. He used his free hand to stroke Merlin under the chin, smiling fondly at hm. "Good boy!"

"So." James looked at the bouquet of sunflowers Kendall held in his hand. His favourite flowers had always been tulips, or roses. Especially white ones. But he had to admit, there was something so warm and comforting about sunflowers. "Can I buy one of those? The rose you gave me died out long ago, at least that one will last."

"Sure!" Kendall held one out to him, waving the bright yellow petals at his face. "$3. I think you can afford it, rich boy."

"Rich boy," James mumbled begrudgingly, taking out the money and handing it over. "Am I supposed to be offended by that?"

"Depends how you take it," Kendall replied breezily, handing over a sunflower. He put his money away in his bag, smiling sweetly. "I'm pretty busy today with my sales, I'm afraid. I was looking forward to us hanging out but I've got a cleaning job to do today too, so I just don't have the time."

James stopped looking at his sunflower and glanced at Kendall again, frowning. "A cleaning job?"

Kendall nodded, swinging the flowers back and forth in his hand. "I've got a flyer up in the grocery store around the corner with my building's phone number; the doorman lets me know if I've got a call since I don't have my own phone. I got one last night, so I've gotta go there in a couple of hours."

"Oh." James' face fell. "Okay. I guess that's fair enough. Work first, play later."

Kendall giggled. "Yeah, it's too bad." He shrugged, turning to a passer-by who seemed interested in the sunflowers. Once they'd made their purchase and moved on, Kendall turned back to James with a hopeful expression in his pretty green eyes. "But maybe we can hang out tomorrow?"

"Yeah, of course!" James said quickly. "I'd say I'll call you, but, well . . ."

"No phone, yeah." Kendall waved to him, smiling while Merlin glared daggers from his shoulder. "See you soon."

As James turned the corner and Kendall disappeared from view, he spotted two things one after the other. One was his car, parked safely in its space right where he'd left it what felt like only three seconds before. The second thing he saw was the grocery store Kendall had mentioned. He took a step forward, veering slightly towards the automatic doors. Then he stepped back. No, it would be too weird, too forward. Kendall would just give him a weird look and think he was a stalker.

On the other hand . . . and he stepped to his left again. He was already going out of his way to meet Kendall any day that he could, wandering up and down the street and pressing this face up against glass to find him. That was pretty stalkerish already; maybe this wouldn't be anything strange. Plus, he was sure there was something in his house that urgently needed cleaning. And he loved helping Kendall financially in any way that he could. And he enjoyed spending time with him, so really this could be a positive situation for both of them, for different reasons. He made up his mind and walked into the grocery store, going straight to the board by the door and searching for Kendall's flyer. After a moment or two he found it half hidden behind a dog walking ad. He took out his phone and typed in the number. At least even if he chickened out later on, he'd have the number in case he changed his mind.

He headed home then, walking through the door and expecting to see Shay jump out of some corner and leap into his arms gleefully. However, instead he heard laughing and voices chattering loudly coming from the kitchen. Frowning to himself, puzzled, he walked down the hallway and into the kitchen, only to see Carlos, Logan and Shay sitting at the kitchen table, a bowl of popcorn in the middle and cans of diet coke in their hands. "Jamie!" Shay greeted, hopping up and kissing him, before pulling him over to sit down. Only he pushed James down where he'd previously been sitting, and happily sat down on his lap, arm around his shoulders. "Where've you been? Carlos and Logan came to see you so I let them in."

"Yeah, sorry." James grinned at Carlos and Logan. "Nice to see you guys. You didn't tell me you were calling over."

"We figured we'd surprise you," Carlos replied, shrugging. "Only you weren't here to surprise. So where've you been? Shay said you've been a bit distant and distracted recently."

"It's true, Jamie," Shay said in a small innocent voice. "You have."

James felt guilty then for hiding this from his friends and his boyfriend. Though he had a feeling it wasn't exactly something his boyfriend would love to hear. "Well, I was hanging out with a friend." James looked at Shay, keeping his tone casual and carefree. "You know, you met him a few weeks ago. He was selling roses, I bought one off him."

"Is that where you got the sunflower too?" Shay asked darkly, pointing to where James had set it down on the table. He looked as though he wanted to pick it up and rip it to shreds before burning it and dancing on the ashes.

James nodded, swallowing uncomfortably. He quickly turned to Carlos and Logan. "His financial position isn't the best. But, but it's really interesting! He modelled for the ACC to make some money, and his face is the one I chose when I got Shay. I had no idea how they were made."

"Neither did I," Logan replied, seeming genuinely interested in discussing this topic because that was just the kind of person that he was. Always open to new ideas and new learning. "So, what's his name?"

"Kendall Knight," James replied instantly. "He's nineteen." He had no trouble remembering that. He could recite it in his sleep. "Almost twenty," as though he needed to clarify this and justify his actions.

"Kendall?" Carlos sniggered. "Are you serious?"

"Yeah," James said slowly, frowning. "Why is that funny?" Then he spotted Shay frowning at him, and he got the joke. He chuckled, though he felt slightly uncomfortable. A funny coincidence, indeed. Though not everyone in the room seemed amused by it. "Um, anyway," James began again. "I'm thinking of inviting him over tomorrow."

"But why?!" Shay demanded, outraged. "We don't need him here!"

"Babe," James said patiently, smiling sweetly. "He does cleaning jobs to earn money." Inspiration suddenly hit him and he added, "I need the stove cleaned, the stains on it are ancient and I need to get rid of them. It's no big deal, I promise."

Shay sighed, nodding slowly and pouting. "Okay. I guess that's alright. But I don't really wanna hang out with him . . ."

"Maybe I can give you a book to read," James suggested. "Some books that I like."

He knew that would win Shay over, and he was right. The blond smiled and nodded more enthusiastically. "Okay! I'll enjoy that."

"Good!" James, now relieved that everything had gone well, was able to relax and enjoy the rest of the day with the three of them. However, it seemed that adding that number into his phone had tripled it in weight. He could almost feel it dragging the left side of his jeans down his hips with the weight of it. Any time he would be blessed enough for it to leave his mind, he would suddenly feel that spiteful little gadget burning against this thigh. And back he would go again to his panicking and fretting over what he would say if Kendall were to come over here. If he even had the guts to call in the first place.

The second he could, James made an excuse to go to the bathroom and ran off upstairs into his bedroom. He had a bathroom attached, so really it wasn't a total lie. He sat on his bed and stared at the phone, as it sat and stared right back at him. It was hard to believe that such a tiny thing could change a lot for his and Kendall's relationship. Their relationship . . .

What was their relationship?

James picked up his phone, going through his contacts until he found the contact titled Kendall cleaning. He hoped that maybe at some point, he'd be able to have a contact in here with just the blond's name. But for that to happen, he would have to know him long enough for him to get a phone . . . he wondered how long that would be. Before he contemplated that anymore, he was pressing the dial button and holding the phone up to his ear, heart pounding against his chest. "Oakley House," sounded a bored voice on the other end. Oh god, this is really happening. Okay, don't panic. Don't panic!

"U-um," James began nervously. "I called to book a cleaning job, for Kendall Knight? It s-said in his flyer to call this building . . ."

"Time and place?" The man on the other end said, sounding as though he'd done this a million times before. James wondered if maybe he had. "And what needs cleaning?"

"Mayfield, Number 16," James replied with slightly more confidence. "My stove needs to be cleaned. At about 2:00pm, is that okay?"

"I'll let him know," the man replied curtly, before ending the call and leaving James with the dial tone. He sat back in his chair, taking a deep breath and letting it out. Well, he'd survived that. But now the thought of Kendall being here with him sent trembles through his body, from the tips of his ears down to his toes. He wondered if Kendall would think he was too snooty. Or if he'd admire him. Whatever it was he thought, as long as he got to see that smile and the spark in those eyes, he would be content.

But nobody needed to know that.