Hey, sorry the story hasn't been updated in a while, I haven't had to the time to work on it. Hope you all enjoy it! Thanks
Me. He cheated on me. It broke my heart to see him like this, I loved him. How could he? I couldn't stay now. It was over. The same thing happened to my mom. My dad cheated so many times and my mom knew it but she didn't want to leave. She loved him too much. I knew this was the right thing to do. I didn't want to be like her, wondering what he's really doing when he goes out. I couldn't.
"Its okay, relax" I started crying, "Just go to seep"
Josh finally fell asleep. I was still in my PJ's. I got all my belongings together and packed it all up in the suitcase. I took one last look around the apartment and stopped for the last time in his room. He was sound asleep. Tears still on his face. I started to look around for anything I left behind and looked at Josh one last time. I looked at him laying there, put my fingers through his hair and kissed him on the forehead.
"Bye" I whispered
I took my fingers and un-did the clasp of the necklace Josh had given me that Christmas 6 months ago. I held it in my hand and turned over the heart.
"'I'll be good to you,'" It read
I left it on the table beside the bed and I took anemone in her cage and left.
Lexi took me in that night so I would have somewhere to sleep. I cried myself to sleep thinking about him, I wanted to go back so badly, and just forgive him but I knew I couldn't. I had to forget.
It seemed everywhere I looked reminded me of him. Was he okay? Or was he fine with me gone.
May
June
July
August
"Good Morning!" I cheered as I walked into work.
"Morning" They cheered back
I walked over to the schedule for today. There wasn't much on it and so Lexi and I were assigned to just help out and check on patients. I loved talking with them, that's what I liked about this job. People were always so happy and grateful.
Lexi and I walked down to the lower floor and picked up our charts. Each board had all the information on the patient and what I needed to check. Lexi and I laughed and talked as we usually do all day in-between checking on these patients.
"Huh, one more and I can go home" Lexi said, tired
I smiled
"Me too."
I started up the stairs and to the last room of the day. I couldn't wait to get this over with. I walked in as usual and read the tests I had to do
"Okay, we're just going to do a few tests, it'll only be a minute."
I looked up and saw someone at this person's bedside. I knew them. I breathed in and my heart stopped. It was Corlynn.
I looked back down and the chart and read
"Patient: Joshua Ramsay
Severe concussion, 2 broken ribs"
I couldn't read anymore. I looked back up at the family again realizing it was Corlynn, Miles and his sister Sara at his bedside. Josh was in the hospital bed, broken.
"Ella?" asked his mom
I looked right at her and tears welled up in my eyes. I had just almost forgotten about Josh.
"Will he live?" She cried
I looked down at the chart and saw
"7% chance of survival,
Coma"
I shook my head 'no' and walked out of the room. I sat on the old chair outside his door and cried. I remembered the first time we saw each other. When I gave him back his bracelet and he smiled. I remembered meeting his parents, Corlynn and Miles. The song, Good To You, and the tinsel fight. It all came back as I sat in the chair. Sara came out and sat beside me.
"He hasn't done anything since you left." She explained "He wont talk to us. He doesn't want to live without you. He still loves you"
I looked back down at the chart and back up at her.
"Please, you might hate him but he needs you. I need you. Please help him. He's my brother." Sara exclaimed
I knew I had to do these tests and I could leave but after seeing him, I knew now there was never a time I could forget him.
I walked into the small hospital room and made sure his IV was good and he was breathing okay, heartbeat fine. He was doing really well for the surgery he had. I looked down at him, in all the wires hooked up to him. He looked gone, like he was already dead.
I looked over to the side table and saw my necklace.
"I'll be good to you"
He still had it. It was in perfect condition too. I picked it up and admired it.
"Where did you find this?" I whimpered
"It was in his hand before he got hit by the car." His mom responded
"A car?"
He still had it. I couldn't take this anymore. I paced out of the room and down the hall, wiping my tears, trying to be professional. Lexi saw me start to run to the bathroom and followed.
"What's wrong?" She worried
I handed her the papers on Josh and it took her a bit before she looked up at the name.
"Josh? He's here? What happened?"
I kept wiping tears and she comforted me.
"Could you please take his chart and take care of him for me?" I whimpered, "I need someone I trust," Tears started coming again, "He has to live"
She took the clip board from my hand and nodded. She hugged me and comforted me for a bit. I got home and sat on my bed. All the possible things that could have happened to him went through my mind. Was he really hurt like Sara said? Why was he carrying the necklace? The worst possible thoughts came to my mind.
Everyday I walked past his room and every day he got better and better. I would see him talking to his mom, then sitting up but today, he seemed back to usual.
"Josh is leaving today." Lexi exclaimed, "He's recovered very fast. He asked me if I knew you."
"What'd you say?"
"I said I knew who you were. I don't think he recognised me."
I nodded and started walking to the next patient's room. Lexi followed.
"Have you decided what you're going to do yet?" She asked
"'Bout what?"
"Josh! Are you going to say something? Get back together?"
I didn't answer. I wanted to say no but I couldn't
"I think you should talk to him and ask his opinion on what happened because I know you love him and can't let him go. I saw you glancing at him."
I seriously thought about what Lexi said. He was really depressed and needed me. After work I made a plan to go back to the apartment where it all happened. I was going to see him again.
After work I took my time and got myself in the car. I sat there for a while and thought about what I was doing. Should I really be doing this? Lexi was right, I still loved him and it killed me to be away from him. I had to do this. I drove for about ten minutes before I arrived at the building. I parked out front and started in the doors of the apartment building. I got in the elevator and went up to the top floor. The elevator doors opened and the first thing I saw were Ian, Mike, and Matt. They were banging on Josh's door and trying to get him to come out but it wasn't working. They looked over at me and Matt ran towards me. I hadn't seen them in so long I wanted to cry and hug them.
"Please, it was my fault. Josh didn't mean to hurt you I swear. You have to talk to him," Matt pleaded
Ian and Mike walked over to Matt and I.
"He hasn't been talking to us at all and won't come to record more tracks. He doesn't want to do it anymore, and we have an album coming out this winter! We need him." Matt pleaded
I took a deep breath and replied
"I'll do my best"
I was surprised I wasn't crying yet. I knew I had to stay strong when I talked to Josh. I slowly walked up to the door and knocked.
"Get away, leave me the fuck alone!" Josh screamed
I cringed at the way he sounded.
"I don't want to talk to anyone…" He cried
My eyes teared up and I looked for the key. I still had it: in the bottom of my purse.
Quietly and slowly I opened the door and set my purse down. Everything looked the same. I walked down the once known hallway and got to the living room. Josh was sitting on the couch all crouched up in a ball. He was crying.
"Josh?" I was still in the hallway
He looked up and I saw the pain he was in. I don't think believed what he saw. His eyes got all glossy and I walked over. He just stared, he had tears running down his face and he wasn't moving. I walked over and I glanced at the table in front of him. There was a blade. He saw me look down at it and look back up at him.
"I didn't use it." He mumbled
I walked over to him and knelt down.
"What are you doing? Why are you doing this?" I asked tenderly
I went to take his hand but it was gripped onto something. I looked him right into his eyes. Those perfect Green-Blue eyes. I looked back down and he opened his hand. It was my necklace, he did still have it, and he wasn't going to let go of it.
I touched his hands and he stood up and looked at me. He stared to tear up again and took his hand and rubbed it through my hair. He moved closer and was looking down into my eyes.
"Don't leave. I need you." He mumbled
I looked up him and saw how different he was. It didn't matter though because he was there. I stood there for a few seconds before hugging him. He hugged me, necklace still in hand. I closed my eyes and took in the moment. He was beautiful, I couldn't leave now. There aren't words for how I felt. I didn't want to let go and neither did he. He pulled away and rubbed the tears out of his eyes.
"You need to clean yourself up, you look horrible" I stated and smiled
Josh moaned and just stood there, still looking at me
"How are you feeling?" I asked
I could see the bandages through his shirt. I slowly lifted his shirt up so I could see them. The stitches were bleeding through the bandages. I put my fingers over them and looked up
"Does it hurt?" I wondered
He shook his head and smiled
"You need to change this" I stated "I can get some gauze, I think you have some here. You need to bathe first though."
I walked over to the bathroom and opened up the cupboard. I found the gauze and left it on the counter. Josh struggled into the bathroom and watched me as I had taken this out.
"It does hurt doesn't it?" I wondered
He mumbled and I looked at him.
"Come on, get your shirt off" I said lovingly
I knew he wouldn't be able to get his shirt off on his own so I took a step closer to him and grabbed the sleeve of his shirt and he maneuvered his left arm out of it. I did the same with his right and lifted the shirt of his body. He grinned at me.
"I'm here to help you, not fool around." I informed
The grin wiped right off his face and I got the shower going. Once the water got warm Josh stood outside the tub and supported himself with his arm on the shower wall. I took the showerhead and drenched his hair in the warm water.
"Which shampoo am I using?" I laughed looking at the many he had
"The blue bottle" He blabbed.
As I reached for the electric blue bottle I read its label, 'TIGI colour safe shampoo'.
"Are you serious?" I laughed
He started to laugh but almost instantly he realized how much it hurt. I picked up the shampoo and rubbed it into his hair. Once his head was covered with white foam I rinsed it with the warm water. I grabbed a towel from behind me and rubbed it in his hair so it wasn't dripping wet. He stood upright so he could get his hair dry. I took the towel when he was done and noticed the blue all over it. I smiled and looked at the gauze. I went and stood in front of him and found where the gauze stopped. I walked around and around and got all the gauze off. There was a stitch that went right through the middle of his chest. There were small stitches on the sides of his mid stomach as well. I very lightly put my fingers across the big one in the middle of his chest.
"What did you do?" I wondered
"I didn't want to live anymore." He mumbled
"Why?" I asked shocked
"Because, you weren't here anymore"
I smiled and grabbed the gauze off the counter and started to wrap him back up.
"Tell me if I hurt you" I worried
I turned around and around carefully. Sometimes he would cringe but when I asked him if I hurt him he denied it. It was all done and I bent over to get his shirt off the ground. I stood up and he was right there in front of me, real close. He put his arms around me and I laid my head on his chest.
"Don't hurt yourself, tell me if I hurt you," I recited again
"Stop worrying about me, I'll be fine" He breathed
I took the shirt and put it over his body. We both looked in the mirror at each other and I stepped behind him. I started to fix his hair like he would do it for a show. With the bangs coming down at the right. I laughed at the fact I was on my toes trying to reach the top of his head.
"Your too tall" I laughed
He smiled.
"Have you eaten?" I queried
"Uhhh… yes." He claimed
"What did you eat?" I smiled
He hesitated before saying "I don't know"
I guided him to the kitchen and went inside the cupboard. There wasn't much in there at all. I grabbed the only soup there was left, Minstrone. I dumped it in a pot and heated it up. I walked over and sat beside Josh on the couch. I could tell he hadn't eaten. He was thin. The blade was still there on the coffee table.
"Why me?" I whimpered
He looked confused
"Why would you risk your life for me like that?" I croaked
"Because, you're just, I… love you. No one else but you. There's no point in living if your not there, right beside me."
I took and deep breath and walked back over to the soup. It was done. I got out a big bowl and dumped what could fit inside. I walked back over to the couch and handed him the bowl and spoon.
"What kind is this?" He pestered
"What does it matter? You're eating it!" I remarked
He poked it for a bit before I told him he better get eating it or I'll be making him eat more of it. He finally took a sip and scrunched up his face.
"Elchk" He squeaked
I laughed.
"It's not my fault, I was the only kind you had."
"Well that's 'cuz it tastes like shit!" He wailed
I couldn't stop laughing at his face. He was completely disgusted by the soup.
"Well, you'd better eat the stuff or else I'm not making anything for you again." I laughed
"Okay okay!" He rambled
I looked down at my phone and jumped up.
"I have to go!"
"Why?" he sounded depressed again
"I told Lexi I would be home before 9," I murmured
He put his bowl back down on the table and stood up struggling.
"Please don't go…" He prayed
"I'm sorry, I'll be back tomorrow, I promise." I gushed
"No… but what if you're not?" He started crying again
"I will, I promise." I stated "I'll be here right at 7am if you want!"
His face went back to the way it was when I came in and I hugged him
"Please don't be upset. I'll come back." I whispered
I pulled away and he looked at me, right at me, crying.
"Promise?" He whimpered
"Promise. 7am" I smiled
He kissed me on the forehead and held me close for a few more seconds. I walked out the door a few minutes later. I really wanted to stay, and take care of him, but I had to go. I couldn't stay. All the way home I was gleaming. I got back into the apartment that Lexi and I lived at. I put my things down and right away Lexi came running in.
"How was it?" She squealed
I smiled and laughed,
"Good"
"Awe! What happened? What did you say?" She nagged
I smiled and walked into the living room and sat down.
"Are you back together?" She yelled
"Umm, he wants to be, and I want to be, but I'm not sure if we should," I stated
"Awe! Did you guys talk about what happened? Is he okay?" She questioned
"He's in a lot of pain. The stitches were bleeding, and I had to change the gauze and all." I voiced
"Oh my god! That's adorable! Ella. You have to get back together! All those fans will kill you if he dies."
I shook my head. Why would he do that? Why would someone die for me?
"I'm going to see him again tomorrow, he wanted me to stay but I said I had to go."
"Awe! You should have stayed, I wouldn't have minded! You're so lucky, I wish I could find a guy like that Ella." Lexi
explained I smiled and got ready for bed. It was already 10pm and I was exhausted. Even though I was tired, I couldn't sleep. I wanted to be with Josh, make sure he was okay and, eating. Make sure he was alive. It was the hardest thing to do, leave him, but now he's back. What if he was hurt and needed me to be there. I sat in my bed and slowly waited for it to be 7am when I could see him again.