Chapter 6
As Callie pulled into the driveway, a huge wave of relief rushed over her. Her biggest fear at this moment was that something would happen to Zac while in her care. She couldn't stand the thought of something happening to him and it being her fault. She couldn't fathom something happening and having to tell Arizona.
Stopping in front of the house, she grabbed her purse and proceeded to go unbuckle Zac from the back seat. "You ready to go in the house and show me your books Zac?"
"Yeah!"
Setting him down beside the car, he waits for her as she grabs his bag. She shuts the door and takes his hand and they head for the house. As they walk, she looks around and notices some things that she missed yesterday.
Arizona has done a lot of work to the outside. The most notable thing she sees is a small barn off towards the lake. A fence is half put up but she can see a pile of wood beside it like it is still in progress.
"Are you going to be getting some animals Zac?"
"Yeah. Mommy wants chickens. And I want a goat. But mommy says we have to wait a little longer. She says the fence needs to be done first."
"I'd say Mommy is a smart lady. You don't want the animals to get out."
As they approach the door, Callie hesitates. It's been six years since she has been in the house. So much has changed since then. She is filled with a sense of "home" as she walks in, which is unexpected. She also doesn't think she has a right to feel like that anymore.
The door is unlocked just like Tim said it would be. Upon entering the house, the first thing she sees is the fireplace that adorns the living room. A sense of nostalgia washes over her as memories come flooding back. Who would have thought that looking at a simple fireplace of all things would send a rush of memories through her? So many nights were spent in that very spot. She isn't given long to get lost in the memories though.
"Come on Callie! I wanna show you my room! I have lots of books and trains and cars and all kinds of stuff!" Zac continues to tell her what all he has in his room. She hurries and puts his things down, along with her purse, and follows the little boy upstairs. He sure does get excited, she thinks.
She notices the pictures that line the hallway going up. She has always had a fascination with looking at pictures. These are no exception and these pictures are giving her glimpses into Arizona's life after she left.
Similar to what she observed in her old room at her parents' house, she sees some of just Zac and some of Zac and Arizona both. She notes that she doesn't see any of Arizona with another woman along the way, not that it would matter if she did though. As she tops the steps, she falters as she passes what used to be "their" bedroom. She doesn't look in right now. She is too overwhelmed as it is. As they head down the hall, she just knew which room he was heading to.
The last time she was in this room, it had been painted a pale yellow, upon Arizona's request. They weren't sure of the sex of the babies when they painted, so Arizona wanted something that would be neutral. They never finished decorating the room. The accident happened before they had a chance to.
A sadness engulfs her but Zac again doesn't give her time to get lost in her thoughts as he bursts through the door excitedly. He seems to have a way about him that way. Callie takes a deep breath as she enters. She is surprised to see the walls have been painted a light blue on top with a darker blue on the bottom. The dark blue is very uncharacteristic of Arizona. She usually preferred only the lighter shades and argued when Callie suggested anything different.
A small toddler bed was covered in a Thomas the Train bedding set. A railroad light hangs in the corner and looks to be used as a night light. Zac runs over to a rather large bookshelf for a three-year old and says, "Callie, come see my books!"
"Wow Zac! You have a lot of books!"
"I know! Mommy reads to me all the time. I have lots of books about trains too! See?" Zac shows her two books that he has just pulled off the shelf. "These are my favorite!"
"Really? I'll tell you what, why don't we take you to the bathroom and then maybe we can sit on your rug over there and read them?" Callie had no idea if he was potty trained or not so it is better to find out now before they get situated.
Zac yells, "follow me!" He once again grabs her hand and heads back into the hall and towards the restroom. It is decorated in a mint green with a farm animal theme. Pretty fitting, Callie thinks.
After getting him situated and hands washed, they are once again headed back to his room. Turns out, he is potty trained. She doesn't have to worry about that now.
As they walk in back into his room, he pulls a red blanket off the edge of his bed and hands it to Callie. She listens as he chatters away. He doesn't seem to ever be at a loss for words. Finally, he grabs his books and instructs Callie to sit on the rug. She does so and is surprised when he plops down onto her lap as he giggles.
"Here Callie! Read this one first!"
"Let me see...," Callie says as she reaches for it. They settle in and read the first two books Zac picked out, followed by a third and fourth. After that, he wanted to show her his Thomas the Train collection. The little wooden trains sat on a table in the opposite corner. He showed her each train and named it as he rolled them around the little wooden track.
Callie decides to pull her phone out while he is playing and text Addie. It should be almost time for the meeting with Bobbie Daniel.
"Hey Addie. Just checking in. Things aren't quite going the way I hoped and I'm not sure exactly when I will be back now. She is refusing to sign the papers. Again. Apparently, she had to leave for work today and won't be back for a few days. I'll wait until she gets back but if she won't sign them, I'm going to have to get a lawyer."
"Oh no. That's not what you wanted. Hopefully she comes back ready to sign them."
"Yeah, I hope so. I have already made a mess of things, I don't want to make things even more difficult for her."
"You ok?" Addie asked. She knew Callie had been dreading this and really had been worried about her.
"Not exactly. Tim made me babysit... for Arizona's son. So, I am currently at Arizona's house...my old house... with her son. It's tougher being here than I thought it would be."
"Sounds like a lot has changed since you have been gone. Look, I see through the window that our next client is here. Meredith is talking to her. And I have to say, boy would you think she is hot!"
"Addie….my life is already complicated enough. Just seal the deal."
"You got it Mustang Sally."
"What?"
"That's your new nickname. Shoot, they are heading this way. Gotta go."
Callie puts the phone down wondering what that was about. She listens as Zac continues to talk. She is starting to wonder how much longer Tim will be.
"Hey, you know what? Maybe we can take a walk down by the lake. What do you think?"
"Can I swing too? I Love swinging!"
"You sure can. Let's put your shoes back on and we will head outside then." The truth was, she needed some fresh air. Being here in this room, in this house, she just needs to take a breather.
After his shoes are on, they head outside. Once on the other side of the small barn, she notices some chicken coupes.
As they approach them, Zac pipes up, "that's where mommy's chickens will live. She says she wants 4 of them. She said I could have 2 goats. I'm going to name them Thomas and James."
"Oh, I see. You are going to name them after the trains?"
"Yeah! I think mommy should name her chickens after trains too," he laughed. "She said we would see." Apparently this kid lives and breathes trains.
While walking around the lake, she made sure not to let go of his hand. No way was she taking a chance with him running towards it.
"Can we swing now? I want you to push me!"
"Sure. Lead the way," Callie told him. And sure enough, still holding her hand, he pulled her toward the swing set.
After a little fun on the swings, Zac asks about lunch. They head back to the house and head to the kitchen. She sets him in his booster seat and looks for something to fix. Everything is in the same spot as it was before.
"I see some chicken nuggets, what do you think? Sound good?"
"I love chicken nuggets! Can I have some juice too? Apple juice is my favorite."
"Let me look and see what's in the fridge." Callie opens it and grabs the juice. Finding a sippy cup in the cabinet, she gets him set up with his juice and fixes his lunch. She finds stuff to make herself a sandwich and the two eat together. After not eating breakfast this morning or dinner last night, she makes herself eat a little.
"So, Uncle Tim should be back any time, but until then, how about we go find something to watch on tv after we are finished eating?"
"Can we watch Thomas?"
"We will see what we can do." Boy does he gave a one track mind, she chuckles.
They finish eating, chatting the whole time. Once they are done, they head to the couch and she finds the remote. The furniture is new and the living room has been decorated in a farm house contemporary décor. It really suits Arizona, she thinks.
After finding a show he is happy with, she sits down and finds him crawling right back into her lap. He is apparently a big cuddler.
The next thing Callie knows, she is woken up by her phone. She lays Zac down and goes to get it out of her purse. She didn't get to it in time but sees it was a call from Cameron. She hates to admit it, but she is glad she missed her call. She doesn't want to call back right now and decides that can wait. She then notices a new message pop up.
"I miss you."
Deciding she shouldn't totally ignore Cameron, she decides to send a simple message back.
"Sorry I missed your call. Been a busy day. You too."
"That's all I can give her right this second," she says to herself. "Now , let's text Tim and see where he is. I thought for sure he would be back by now," she says after noticing the time.
She pulls up his number and sends a text.
"Zac is taking a nap. Has been out for a little bit. You coming soon?"
"Just a sec…"
About a minute later, her phone rings with Tim's number. "Hey Tim."
"Hey Callie. Everything ok?"
"Uh, yeah. Yeah, everything is fine. We kept busy earlier and then had some lunch. After that, we decided to watch tv and he fell asleep."
"Cool. He's a great kid. Look, I know I told you we would talk, and we will, but, well, I hate to ask this, but can you keep him a while longer? Work just called and there was an incident I need to take care of."
"Tim, I shouldn't even be here in the first place. I can't stay all evening."
"I wouldn't ask if I had other options. I already checked with a few people and everyone already has stuff to do. Mom and dad are out of town and I even checked with Lucy and she said someone called off so she has a double shift tonight."
Callie can't believe this is happening. She is already here though so she doesn't have much of a choice.
With a heavy sigh, she breathes out, "ok."
"Thank you so much Callie. Look, I gotta go, I'm just pulling in. I'll check in with you in a bit."
"Yeah, ok. I'll talk to you later."
"Bye"
Just like that, the call was over.
Sitting at the diner, Tim hung up the phone. "Well?" Lucy asked.
"She bought it. Now, to keep her there until Arizona gets back. And if I know my sister, she will change her flight from in the morning to tonight. She hates being away."
"I know she does. Let's just hope this doesn't backfire."
"It will backfire or they will both thank us. One or the other."
At Arizona's, Callie decides to go ahead and text Cameron again since she has a few minutes while Zac is still sleeping. She lets her know she will be out late babysitting for a friend. Hopefully that way she is off the hook for another phone call later. She knows Cameron doesn't deserve the silent treatment but she hopes the texts will suffice for now.
Callie decides to look around since Zac is still out. She notices Arizona's book shelf and notes how their tastes are still similar. Just like before, they still read a lot of the same books. She sees that Arizona even has the collection of Bobbie Daniel just like she does. Some might find that strange, but it just reminds Callie how alike there interests were. Best friends were like that she guesses
She needs to use the restroom, so she checks to make sure Zac is still sleeping and heads upstairs. After using the restroom, she stops outside Arizona's room. She doesn't have a right to go in there, but she can't help herself. She feels a need to go in. So, albeit hesitantly, she opens the door.
It takes her breath for a second. It's exactly the same. Arizona even has the same bedspread she had on there when she left. The only thing that has changed are the pictures. The frames that used to hold pictures of her and Arizona now hold only pictures of Zac and Arizona.
As she is about to pick up a picture on the dresser, she looks over to see
what used to be their jewelry box. She opens it and finds several pieces she remembers. She is surpised to see a pair of matching necklaces they both used to have still there. Arizona used to love jewelry, so she would buy it for her for special occasions like birthdays and Christmases. She lifts the tray to look at what is underneath. She notices that Arizona doesn't have her wedding band in there. Not that she expected her to still have it though. She wouldn't blame her for tossing it along the side the road somewhere.
Zac opens the door as she is just closing the jewelry box back up.
"There you are. I've been looking for you."
"I'm sorry buddy. I had to come to the bathroom and got lost." She can't help but adore the blonde tussled hair little boy. Sweet doesn't even begin to describe him. He has so many of Arizona's physical characteristics but also has so many similarities in their personalities. "Come on, let's go to the bathroom and then maybe we can find a snack."
The afternoon is spent doing a lot of the same things they had done throughout the morning. She explains that Uncle Tim is taking care of something and will be tied up for a little bit. He doesn't seem phased and pulls her along from one activity to another.
Before she knows it, Callie is fixing them dinner. He asked for mac and cheese for dinner and it happens to be one of her favorites too. After dinner, she decides he should probably have a bath. She decides to rummage through his drawers to find jammies then draws his bath water.
After he is all done with his bath, Callie takes him into his room. He talks her into reading him a bedtime story and she is getting to where she can't hardly tell him no. He picks out another train book and Callie sits down beside him. After she starts reading, it doesn't take him long to fall asleep but she sits a while longer.
The day, although somewhat awkward because of the circumstances, has been very enjoyable, and it just serves to remind her of what could have been. She made mistakes and now has to live with the ramifications of those though. Being a mom was something Arizona always wanted...they both did. She is glad Arizona has Zac. She really is. She just wished she could have been the one to make her dreams come true.
Watching Zac turn in his sleep, she takes a minute to look at him. He is as close to a miniature Arizona as he can get. His hair is the same golden color, he has dimples just like her, his nose is shaped the same. She feels sadness wash over her. She will never know what her children would have grown up to look like.
When the babies were taken through c-section after the accident, they were 8 weeks early. Both appeared to be darker skinned, just like Callie. Neither had hair yet and of course they would never see smiles to know if there would have been dimples.
There are so many things she will never know. There isn't a day that goes by that they aren't on her mind. Or Arizona for that matter.
Although Arizona has not been here, she has been on Callie's mind all day. Being here and not being with Arizona is why she had to leave in the first place. It was too hard. She is starting to feel like that may still be the case. But once again she tells herself Arizona is better off without her.
Cameron should be the one she is thinking about, not Arizona. She knows it would hurt her tremendously if Cameron had access to her deepest thoughts today.
She pulls out her phone to see if there is a missed text or anything from Tim or Cameron. She wasn't expecting to hear from Cameron but is a little discouraged when she sees that she still has nothing from Tim. Since he hasn't texted, she decides to text him.
"Hey, just checking in to see when you will be back. He is down for the night."
"Oh man, I'm so sorry. It's been one thing after another. Be there as soon as I can, just not sure how soon."
"Ok."
What more can she really say? She really needs his help to get her to sign those papers. So, that means she babysits.
Callie puts her phone back in her pocket and closes her eyes for just a minute. She hasn't been around kids in a while. None of her friends in New York have kids and she forgot how exhausting they can be. It's a good kind of exhausting, but she is tired none the less. Hopefully Tim will be home soon.