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Dead Nature

(Five)

Greg leant back in his seat looking around at the people milling around the booth he had chosen to sit at while he waited for Sara. She had promised that they would be able to talk over breakfast; once and for all sort of what was going on between them. But as he glanced down at his watch it hit him that she was already an hour and a half late. The smell of coffee overwhelmed his senses as his body attempted to wake up and get a grip on the day, trying to figure out what Sara's absence meant.

The night before had felt so surreal and as Greg tried to come to terms with what had happened it was as if he was deluding himself. He had went to see Sara, to say sorry because no matter how much her distance hurt him he wasn't ready to let go; to lose her. He'd armed himself with her favourite chocolates, having picked out the coconut ones he knew she hated. They were only going to talk, clear the air between them.

But like before they went too far- like the last time all the boundaries they had put in place melted away. They had found themselves in bed again giving in to the strange weakness they had attempted so many times to push out of their systems.

All of that resistance had turned into passion; all of the things they had been trying to hide had lit up once again in their eyes as they gave in to something as powerful as waves.

Greg had been terrified by the fall out- he had tried so hard to prepare himself for the blame, the anger and the resentment that would no doubt present itself once again in Sara's eyes. The past few weeks had been more painful than he could have ever imagined- the way she had pushed him away, and shut him out- seemed to reinforce just how much he needed her.

It hadn't happened- Sara had simply just looked at him with a sad smile and no words letting him wrap her up in his arms. She hadn't lost her temper; she hadn't hurt him by telling him that it meant nothing. But as Greg glanced around he realised that perhaps he had been fooling himself all of this time by thinking that everything would be okay- that they would be able to simply just be together.

Looking around once again her nervously wondered if Sara's conscious had spoken up about the way they had collided and the regret she had tried to fight off had made its way back firmly in the forefront of her mind. Greg glanced down at his phone but there was no message to explain why she was not there.

With an exhausted sigh he finished the rest of the coffee in the mug in front of him, wincing as the bitter cold liquid slid down his throat. He wondered what would happen at work when they saw each other- would he be able to look into her eyes and not give away what had happened?

He had been warned enough times by Nick to remember that Sara was now married- that she had given her heart to someone else. Would he really be able to pretend that he was now not more in love with her than he had ever been?

The question that really needed an answer- did she love him?

As he slowed at the traffic lights, Greg couldn't help but wonder if that was what the guilt she had been feeling was about- was she guilty that she no longer loved her husband? Or was it simply just the fact she was ashamed about giving her body to someone else?

All of these years he had attempted to convince himself that one day Sara would see just how much she meant to him- that she might one day feel the same way about him. But as Greg cast his eyes over the grey skies above them he wondered if he had just been lying to himself just to have something to look forward too.

In the past few years he couldn't start to deny the feeling that there was something missing in his life. Perhaps this was just growing up. All of the years in the field had changed him- he no longer had the detachment away from the realities. Things were no longer measureable and easy; he had finally be exposed the dark, disgusting realities of life.

With a deep breath, he turned up the music on the radio and considered when he had started feeling so alone. They had all become so jaded- there was no way anyone could deny that.

Greg pulled up his car in his usual parking space, casting his eyes over the parking lot to see if Sara had made it to work but there was nothing- he could not see her car. He could imagine her having locked herself in her room- attempting to think away all of the mistakes that seem to be unfolding in her life.

As he made the short walk to the break room he attempted to picture her calling Grissom in tears- telling him what they had done. Greg wondered how their ageing ex-boss would react to the news. Perhaps he had always been expecting it- perhaps his resistance to Sara originally had come from the knowledge that maybe one day she would hurt him.

If Grissom left her- surely she would turn to him? She would be his.

It was a horrible thing to think, Greg realised as he poured himself a cup of coffee- he couldn't wish that on her or on Grissom. They didn't deserve that. But that was the only way he could see things going the way he wanted them to.

That or adultery.

"Ah Greg there you are" Nick's voice seemed to drag him back to reality pushing away all the thoughts that had seemed to plague him since the night before. It struck Greg then just how exhausted he was.

"Here I am" He said with a sleepy smile as he sat himself down at the table looking up at his friend. "What can I do for you?"

"Have you heard from Sara?" The older man asked, and it was as if it had been a catalyst for his heart sinking.

"No" Greg replied, taking a sip from his coffee hoping to cover up the feelings that had overwhelmed him.

"Oh- it's just she's not in and no one can seem to get hold of her" Nick said slowly as if the words would mean something special to him but no such response came.

"She's been feeling unwell a lot the past week or so- maybe she's sick?" Greg suggested with a small shrug.

"Yeah I noticed that...but you know Sara- she's not going to take time off" He laughed with a small knowing smile.

"Well it looks like she has" He responded, the slight bite in his tone not going unnoticed by his friend. But as much as Nick wanted to ask what was wrong realised that it would only make Greg defensive.

"Okay...well if you hear anything from her- let Russell know what's going on" And with that he disappeared out of the room leaving Greg alone with all of his thoughts.

He couldn't help but feel a small amount of anger bubbling up in his system as he tried to work out where Sara was. Abandoning his coffee Greg made his way to Russell's office realising that he had no good reason not to be working but he needed to sort all of this out.

For once he just needed a straight answer from Sara.

"Hey- have you heard from Sara yet?" DB asked sensing who it was before he had even bothered looking up from his papers.

"No but I have a good idea about where she is" Greg announced, his hands limply at his sides as he attempted to think of an excuse to go and find her but realised that he came up empty and decided to simply just state his intentions. "I'm going to go find her"

"Greg... Don't get me wrong, I know how complicated relationships can be but when people I rely on start disappearing or causing discomfort in the office I take notice. And when I start taking notice... I notice a lot of things you know?" He said as if warning the younger man of what he was aware of but Greg was in no mood to be reasonable.

"And what, exactly, have you noticed?" He asked with raised eyebrows.

"You and Sara...whatever is going on between you- you need to leave it at the door when you clock in..." Russell clarified.

"Easier said than done" Greg frowned, crossing his arms across his chest standing his ground.

"What you get up to behind closed doors isn't my problem...My problem is the fact that Sara is not here and she's supposed to be" He took a deep breath. "...And I don't need you to disappearing either"

"Yeah" Without another word Greg turned around making his way out of the office realising that there was no point in forcing Sara into talking to him- she would only push him away more.

"So Mr Vickers...Can you tell us what made go from promoting adultery to killing your clients?" Morgan asked as she slipped into the seat beside Nick.

"I haven't killed anyone..." He stated.

"Can you provide an alibi for the times of all five of these murders?" Nick raised his eyebrows.

"Actually...yes I can...I was on a Cruise until two days ago..." Adrian said nervously. "With my girlfriend...over 2,000 people can verify where I was"

"How does your wife feel about that?" Morgan asked with a small smirk.

"She left me"

The CSIs couldn't help but feel a strange feeling of wariness as they made their way out of the interrogation room realising that their only suspect had fallen through. It had taken almost two hours attempting to get straight answers out of Adrian Vickers and still they knew nothing more than they had done since starting.

Greg watched the clock, the end of shift drawing near as he anticipated the ability to finally be able to do something about the situation he had found himself in. And once the time came, he made his way to his truck without a word.

From the outside Sara's house looked as it always did, there was nothing about it to suggest that anything had happened. The clouds gave a rumble above him, and he thought it strange how the weather had decided to match his mood.

With a deep breath Greg made his way up the stairs of the town house to the door, he rang the bell and stepped back. There was no response. So once again he tried but still no one answered the door.

"Sara, answer the door you can't shut me out forever" He shouted through the letter box but no reply came from the other side. Greg found his phone calling the house phone; from the door he could hear it ring, echoing around the house but still there was no movement- nothing to suggest that anyone was in.

He glanced around, remembering that Sara had mentioned not being close to her neighbours; they would have no idea where she was. Greg climbed back into his car running through all of her usual haunts, through the places he knew she would hide as he began his drive around the city.

Almost four hours had passed when he finally gave up, driving back to his own house. Greg hit Russell's speed dial realising that he had no other option but to report what he had found. The phone rang for a few moments before the clicking sound of someone answer entered his ears. He realised that all he could think to say was state the truth.

"I think Sara's missing"