A/N: Warning: really long chapter lies ahead. I hope you guys enjoy reading. Please review!
Chapter 6- '…I can't shut myself away…'
18 years later
"Tomorrow I'm going to Hogwarts, tomorrow I'm going to Hogwarts, tomorrow I'm going to Hogwarts…"
"Daddy, this isn't fair, I want to go to Hogwarts!"
"You will in three years time Lily, so while we wait why don't we try to help James pack?" Harry suggested kindly, realizing that something as boring as packing would never deter his daughter from James' chants.
"Tomorrow I'm going to Hogwarts, tomorrow I'm going to Hogwarts-'
"James, I know you're excited but you really should continue packing, sweetie." Ginny had entered the room shocked that her husband and children had made so little progress with the packing. "Your father is trying to do the best he can, but he doesn't know what you want to take."
James ceased chanting and began to help his dad, still humming the tune under his breath.
Finally, James' trunk was packed and sitting next to the door, ready to be leviated down the stairs the following morning.
"Mum, Dad, can you tell me about Hogwarts again?" James asked, getting into bed, his little sister still congregating nearby.
"You are going to see the castle for yourself tomorrow, James. Why don't you wait and see for yourself?" Harry reasoned with his eldest son, knowing too well that such reasoning was fruitless.
"Please, Dad just once mor,." James begged.
"Please, Daddy; I want to hear it too."
"And me," said Albus who had just walked into his brother's room having finished brushing his teeth.
Harry and Ginny looked at each other and smiled. They had lost track of how many times they had told the 'Hogwart's story' to their children, but enjoyed telling it all the same. Nevertheless, they were a little surprised that their children weren't sick of it yet. Both of them silently knew that this story, though exciting, was nothing compared to the several other things that happened to them whilst at Hogwarts, but they always told themselves that the children were still too young to know everything about their past.
"Well, Hogwarts is a magnificent castle full of surprises and secrets. When you sit down for meals, the food appears by magic and has an endless supply (Harry thought that telling his children that house elves in fact made the food would take away some of that magic). Sometimes you'll see the house ghosts floating around and if they fly through you, it doesn't hurt, but feels like you've been dunked into a bucket of ice." Lily shivered. "There are so many paintings on the walls that you could probably just sit all day and watch them run in and out of one another's frames, talking to each other, playing cards or having tea. Hogwarts is so big that sometimes you get lost, especially when the staircases decide to play a trick on you early in the morning and change direction or otherwise all the stairs disappear and you simply slide down."
"That would be so much fun!" Albus exclaimed.
"Well normally it would be if you weren't carrying a bowl of ice cream at the time," Harry explained, grinning broadly at the memory of Ron's expression when he walked into Gryffindor tower covered in icecream.
Lily giggled.
"But what is probably most exciting," Ginny continued for Harry, "is that when we were at Hogwarts someone found a room known as the Room of Requirement and if you find it, it will adjust itself to suit your needs."
"Awesome!" James yelled. "I'm going to make it a secret hide out where my friends and I can think of ways to annoy Filch!"
Harry smiled. Only a few nights ago, Ginny and he were telling their children about Filch the caretaker, not knowing if he would still be at Hogwarts after eighteen years, but nevertheless decided to amuse their children by telling them what they had done to annoy the man. Harry hoped, however that he wouldn't be receiving too many letters from McGonagall insisting that his child was a trouble maker.
When James received his letter from Hogwarts, Harry was delighted to see Professor Minerva McGonagall's name signed at the bottom, as he always thought that she would be a wonderful Headmistress. Of course, Harry and Ginny had to tell their children about McGonagall and what they knew about her: the fact that she was animagus and a very strict but excellent professor, even if she gave them piles of homework. The former fact interested the children the most and each of them knew that the first thing they would do when they saw McGonagall was to ask her to transform. Harry doubted she would appreciate the requests, but hoped she would humour his children nevertheless. Now that Minerva was Headmistress, she would no longer be teaching the students, but Harry felt certain that his children would be safe at Hogwarts with her around; she may be strict but she is passionate, determined and extremely resourceful.
"What else could the Room of Requirement turn into, Dad?" Albus asked, wide-eyed that such a room existed.
"Anything you want, Al, but remember your mother and me never found out where it is so it could just be a rumour." Harry smiled to himself. As much as he would like to tell his children exactly where the Room of Requirement was and what they had done in there, he didn't want them, especially James, to be deterred from their school work.
"Can you tell us about Hagrid again, Dad?"
Albus was especially curious about Hagrid for none of his children had ever met a half giant before. But they also wished to know more about the dangerous, scary creatures Hagrid had exhibited during their time at Hogwarts. Harry had already told his children about the Hippogriffs and Thestrals, both of which excited them greatly. He even discussed the fact that Thestrals pull the Hogwarts carriages, though didn't elaborate on the fact that he could see them; he didn't wish to reiterate the night Cedric died, it wasn't that pleasant of a story.
Ginny, Harry and their children were up until very late that night. Yet, despite their better judgment, the two parents continued to give in to their children's requests for previous Hogwarts stories. After talking about the giant squid, the Fat Lady, Merpeople, Moaning Myrtle, Quidditch and Neville Longbottom and his aptitude for Herbology, Lily was lolling to sleep, leaning on her brother's bed and Albus too, was very drowsy. It seemed that James was only awake due to the adrenalin coursing through his body at the very thought that this time tomorrow he would be in his four poster at Hogwarts.
Once James fell asleep, Harry carefully lifted his daughter with both arms as if she were a baby and carried Lily to her bedroom down the hall and tucked her in. He then came back and did the same for Albus who was also sound asleep. Once all of their children were tucked in and sleeping soundly, it was midnight and only seven hours before they had to wake up to escort James to Platform 9 3/4.
However, Harry and Ginny knew that there was more to talk about. Together they silently walked downstairs to the living room and sat together arm in arm, Ginny laying her head on her husband's shoulder.
"You scared?" she asked quietly.
"A little… are you?"
Ginny nodded. "What if he finds out? Hagrid may say something; you know how he doesn't keep secrets well."
"I'm sure Hagrid will have better things to talk about than my defeat of Voldemort."
"Do you think it is wrong of us to send James to Hogwarts without knowing anything about it? All the kids there will probably know your name and he won't even know why."
"I know but you, Hermione, Ron and myself all agreed to keep it to ourselves for as long as possible."
"I know, but surely they are old enough now; I mean, you faced Voldemort for the first time when you were James' age."
"I agree with you, Ginny, but Hermione is so protective of her children as well as ours and I think she still believes them too young to know the whole story."
"But perhaps if they just knew a little bit? We could tell them that you defeated Voldemort at the age of seventeen and that you are famous for it."
"But you know that our children will be suspicious as to how I managed to win against the darkest wizard of the age. They'll ask questions. We'd have to tell them everything."
Ginny nodded. "Well, what should we do?"
"I guess we'll have to hope that no one mentions it to James. He doesn't look too much like me and Potter is a pretty common surname. Only the professors will know who he is because he is named after my dad. But when Albus goes to Hogwarts next year…"
"People will surely recognise him, everyone in the wizarding world must have seen your picture at least once."
"Maybe…"
"Albus wouldn't last a week without finding out the truth from someone."
"Well let's put it this way. If Mcgonagall asks me to do another speech for the Defense against the Dark Arts class, then I'll ensure that you and all three of our children attend it. As you know, I spend the majority of my speech talking about the subject itself and only at the end do the students ask me about Voldemort. So the good thing is that the children won't find out too much about it, but enough to satisfy them long enough until we have the time to get together with Ron and Hermione."
"That sounds like a reasonable plan. Well, I suppose we'll just have to wait until you receive another invitation from McGonagall and then go from there. I hope she invites you again soon"
Harry nodded. "So do I, Ginny. Well we better get to bed, tomorrow will be a hectic morning, I expect."
Ginny smiled. "I can't believe James is going to Hogwarts! He's already 11 years old, it seems like it was only yesterday that we were there ourselves!"
"Time flies," Harry replied smiling.
Together Harry and Ginny walked up the stairs to their bedroom. With his arm wrapped around Ginny's waist, Harry couldn't believe how amazing his life was. Yet, despite the plan he had devised with Ginny just now, he still felt anxious about James leaving for Hogwarts the following morning. Although his past made him who he is, Harry wasn't sure he wanted his children to be exposed to the death, evil and trauma he experienced. Even though he would simply be telling a story when giving his Defense against the Dark Arts speech, he remembered how vivid his imagination was at that age and knew they would see terrible images- Lily may even have nightmares. Harry didn't want that for his kids, but knew that someday, he would have to tell them everything.
It took Harry a while after the Battle at Hogwarts to open up to Ginny and allow her to really get to know him. But once he decided to open the door and let her in, he has never looked back…
One day he hoped he would have the courage to open that same door for his children, but at the moment, he wasn't quite ready.
"What do I do, Mum?" James asked, jumping around with excitement.
"See the barrier with the numbers nine and ten above it?"
James nodded, hardly keeping still.
"You need to run into it," Ginny whispered so that none of the muggles nearby could hear her.
"I've got your trunk, James. Hold onto your mother's hand and-"
"I can do it by myself!" James exclaimed excitedly and took off towards the barrier, seemingly without a fear in the world. And then he was gone.
"Awesome!" Albus exclaimed. "Can I go next?"
Harry nodded his assertion and soon his second son had disappeared through the barrier.
Harry looked down at his daughter and saw Lily holding tightly onto Ginny's hand; it seemed she was not yet as brave as her brothers.
"Come on, sweetie," Ginny said reassuringly as she and Lily ran at the barrier.
Having watched them safely enter, Harry pushed the trolley holding James' trunk and Thor, the owl Harry and Ginny bought their son for his birthday, into the barrier. Harry loved the familiar sensation of him being sucked through the magical wall and couldn't believe that after eighteen years he was back on Platform 9 ¾. Harry found his family nearby and together they walked towards the train and loaded James' trunk onto a carriage.
The whistle on the steam engine blew, a signal for the parents to say goodbye to their children.
"Goodbye, James. Say hello to Hagrid and Neville for us when you see them, okay?" Harry said as he gave his son a one armed hug goodbye.
James nodded excitedly; he couldn't believe he was actually going to meet Hagrid- a half giant and Neville, one of his parents' greatest friends. Ginny bent down to give her son a hug, a tear in her eye as she kissed him on the cheek. "You be good."
"I will, Mum." James whispered as they let go of one another.
"Bye, James!" Albus said excitedly. "Send us a letter when you get there; I want to know everything that's happening. Oh, I can't wait to go to Hogwarts next year!"
"Don't worry, Al, I'll tell you all about it and make you really jealous," James smiled menacingly; he had intentions of telling Albus everything, both real and made up.
"Bye bye, James!" Lily yelled excitedly, though still jealous of James' going to Hogwarts, she was happy for her brother and couldn't wait until one day, she too would be catching the Hogwarts Express.
"Bye, Lily," James said, giving his sister a quick hug. "When I get the chance I'll send you a letter too, so keep an eye out for Thor, okay?" Lily nodded, slightly sad now that her biggest brother was leaving for such a long time.
Finally James went up to his father again and Harry bent down to see his son face to face.
"Take care, James. Hogwarts is a wonderful place, but make sure you don't get into too much trouble with Filch; I don't want a letter from Professor McGonagall for at least a month." Harry smiled at his son.
"Okay, Dad."
"Make sure you write to us when you get there and remember to tell us which house you get into."
"Dad, you know I'm going to get into Gryffindor! There's no doubt about it!"
"But just incase, James. Send us a letter or your mother will go crazy with worry."
"Okay, Dad," James sighed.
"Good, well you better get on the train, the final whistle just blew. See you at Christmas"
"Bye, Dad," James whispered as he hugged his father. He knew that it was hard for his parents and siblings to see him go and although he will miss them, he couldn't wait to get on the train, make some friends and finally learn magic with his new wand.
After releasing his father, James leapt onto the train and waved to his family from the window. As the train moved away from the station, Harry noticed that James wasn't the only one looking at him; several of the other children were also staring at him in a peculiar way. All of a sudden, Harry's heart began to race; the next time James writes to him, he may know the truth about Harry's past. This terrified Harry tremendously and was now even more anxious to hear from his eldest son.
Together the family exited the platform. Secretly, without his children seeing, Harry looked at Ginny to see if she too, noticed the many students looking at them. She had and Harry could see her eyes were wide with worry and anticipation.
Harry could only hope that things would turn out for the best.
When the Potters arrived home, Lily and Albus went upstairs to watch television, still talking about Hogwarts and what James may be doing right now. Meanwhile, Ginny and Harry went to the kitchen to find a letter on the table. Harry looked at the letter, knowing too well it couldn't be from James. Looking closer at the writing, he realised it was Ron's messy scribble and tore the letter open, Ginny watching close by.
Hey Harry,
I hope you and Ginny managed to get James safely off to Hogwarts and that Al and Lily are not missing their brother too much.
I'm at the office at the moment and thought I should write to you because Kingsley has just told me that a couple of Aurors saw three or four Dementors in a clearing not too far from Hogwarts.
Harry signaled to Ginny to read over his shoulder. As they continued to read, Ginny's grip on Harry's arm became tighter and tighter.
Of course the ministry will not allow them to get into Hogwarts and have put the necessary security measures around the castle. Obviously, McGonagall has put her own protections up so there is no reason to think that the Dementors could get inside Hogwarts, but perhaps you would like to warn James when you next get the chance, to not go wandering; if he's anything like Fred, George or even your father, you know he'd want to explore.
Anyway, Kingsley has informed McGonagall about the Dementors and she will be warning the students about it once they arrive at Hogwarts.
Kingsley is not too worried about there being a few Dementors around the place as there aren't many left. He believes they just escaped when one of the guards forgot to replace the protective spells from around the enclosure in which the Dementors are kept. The man will of course be fired- oh well he probably deserves it, poor guy. The Dementors are so weak from not having any dose of 'happy thoughts' for so many years, that they didn't even have the opportunity to affect the Aurors who found them. They probably won't cause any harm, but you can never be sure. Anyway, there is nothing to worry about; the Aurors have already captured the Dementors and all is well. Just tell James to be on his guard.
Say hello to Ginny, Al and Lily for me,
Ron
Harry turned around to look at his wife; she seemed to have frozen in shock. Harry had to admit that he too was slightly worried. Although Ron seemed to think everything was fine, in the last eighteen years, no one had been stupid or careless enough to accidentally forget to put the protective spells around the enclosure. This worried Harry greatly, but as Ron said, the Dementors are back in the enclosure and too weak to do any serious damage anyway. But this did not seem to calm Ginny and Harry felt sure she wouldn't be able to relax until she heard from their son. Harry hoped that James didn't forget to write. In all the panic regarding the Dementors, Harry completely forgot about the possibility that James may already know about his past. But that didn't matter right now; he just wanted his son to be safe.
After spending half the night convincing his wife that James would be okay, she eventually fell asleep. The following morning, Thor was waiting for them at the kitchen table with a letter in his claw. Ginny ran to grab the letter from the owl which hooted madly at the harsh welcome and flew out of the window. Harry looked over Ginny's shoulder and began to read James' letter.
Hi Mum and Dad,
I made it to Hogwarts! I cannot believe how awesome this place is! And of course, just so you know I'M IN GRYFINDOR! It's so exciting! I met Nearly Headless Nick last night and he remembered you both, stating that he was good friends with you, Dad. But before he could say anymore, a ghost called the Bloody Baron came over and Nick glided away without saying another word. It was a little strange…
Also, I met McGonagall and she does look really strict, but seemed kind when she addressed us. I haven't had the opportunity to ask her to transform yet, but I will one day soon! I can't wait! Hagrid greeted us at the station (he's huge and not at all scary!) and took us on the little boats across the lake. I kept my eye out for the giant squid, but I didn't see it. Oh well, maybe another day I'll get into my swim clothes and jump into the lake to find him for myself. Just joking, Mum!
Ginny breathed a sigh of relief.
I said 'Hello' to Neville for you, though I have to call him Professor Longbotttom, which will be weird. In fact, my first lesson this morning is Herbology. Professor Flitwick is still here teaching charms and Filch is also here and he has a huge list on the wall with all the objects that are banned from Hogwarts. It seems that the Defense against the Dark Arts teacher has been here since you both left Hogwarts. His name is Professor Derwent and he seems nice enough, but pretty old. Also the potions master is still Professor Slughorn, I remember you talking about him. He doesn't seem to be doing his Slug club thing anymore, I think McGonagall might have banned it as so many of the students were fighting over who should or should not be members.
Now it was Harry's turn to breathe a sigh of relief. That's all he needed, Slughorn raving to his son about all the marvelous things Harry did. Poor James wouldn't have any idea why he'd be singled out and couldn't help but pray that McGonagall had indeed banned the club.
Also I made friends with the other boys in my dorm and they're pretty awesome guys, but I don't really know them that well yet. But one of them has an older brother who said at the feast last night that he couldn't wait for Mr. Potter to give a talk again. Is he talking about the Defense against the Dark Arts talk you gave a few years ago? When you make the next talk, can I come and listen? I'd really like to!
McGonagall told us about the Dementors that were seen near Hogwarts and no doubt Mum has been worried. Don't worry Mum, I will stay out of harms way.
Anyway, I better get to class.
Tell Al and Lily that I'll write to them soon.
And Dad, tell Mum to stop worrying about me!
James
Able to breathe once again; delighted that James was safe and that he was still ignorant of his past, Harry allowed Ginny to continue holding the letter and stood up to get his quill and a pile of parchment. Writing back to his son, he wrote:
Dear James,
I am so glad that you are enjoying your first day at Hogwarts. It was the place I considered to be my home for many years. Nearly Headless Nick and I were good friends when I was at Hogwarts. Myself, Uncle Ron and Aunt Hermione even went to his 500th Deathday party. You should ask him about it sometime. The Bloody Baron is the resident ghost of Slytherin house and most of the ghosts, even Peeves, are scared of him. Have you met Peeves yet? If you do, make sure he doesn't get you into trouble.
Yes, McGonagall was always very strict, but fair and generally a kind woman. I'm sure you'll grow to like her and I'm sure she will transform for you if you ask.
Please stay out of the lake, I'm sure you'll see the Giant Squid at some stage, just be patient.
Professor Flitwick is still there is he? That's excellent for he is a wonderful charms teacher; you'll have a lot of fun in his classes, but make sure you pay attention. Filch may be fun to annoy like I have told you, but he does give gruesome punishments, so just be responsible or your mother will be more worried than she already is. I do not know of Professor Derwent, but tell me what he's like when you get the chance. Professor Slughorn did hold Slug clubs and I am glad that Professor McGonagall has put a stop to them for they did cause a few arguments when I was at Hogwarts.
It's excellent that you're making new friends and hopefully they turn out to be nice people with whom you'll have a long lasting friendship with.
Yes, the talk your friend's brother was talking about is the one I gave a few years ago in the Great Hall. Professor McGonagall hasn't requested that I give another talk, but perhaps with popular demand, it won't be long before I am at Hogwarts giving the talk once again. And yes, if I do give a talk, I'll make sure you are able to attend.
On a more serious note, however, Uncle Ron sent me an owl the morning you went to Hogwarts telling us about the Dementors. He said there was nothing to worry about but told me to tell you to keep your guard up. I want you to be careful, James. I know we haven't told you much about Dementors, but from what you do know, I hope you will take every precaution to ensure that you do not get in their way. They are dark creatures that can do a lot of harm, so please, for our peace of mind, be careful.
We'll pass on your message to Al and Lily.
Take care James, we miss you and hope you write again soon.
All our love,
Mum and Dad.
Harry handed his letter to Ginny for her to read. While she read, Harry became lost in thought. Harry knew it was foolish to think that Snape would still be teaching at Hogwarts because if he were, someone would have seen him. But nevertheless, a small part of Harry hoped that that's where Snape was; after all these years, Harry still desired to talk to Snape but now, after reading James' letter, he was forced to push the possibility out of his mind.
When Ginny finished reading the letter, she called Hedwig (named after Harry's original snowy owl) to take the letter to her son.
Harry looked eagerly at Ginny's face, seeing if she was still worried about the Dementors. She seemed okay, though perhaps a bit shaken. Harry gave her a hug and together they walked upstairs to tell their youngest children that they heard from James.
Severus Snape was reading over his potion instructions one more time while he waited for the dark purple liquid in the cauldron to turn into a mauve colour. According to his calculations, the potion should have already changed colour; fifteen minutes of simmering was over. Surely he couldn't have made a mistake, but then again, this was his own concoction and knew very well that he did have some flaws; he wasn't perfect. Snape continued to stare at his handwritten instructions, trying to decipher where he went wrong when green flames appeared in the fire place in front of him. Brandishing his wand in front of him, Snape stood up ready to hex whoever entered his home without an invitation. When he finally saw Lucius, he lowered his wand and scowled at his friend.
"I'm sorry, Severus; did I alarm you?" Lucius asked, stepping towards a vacant chair and sitting down.
"It would have been appreciated if you had contacted me first to say you were coming."
"Well due to your fireplace still being connected to the Malfoy Manor floo network, I didn't think it was necessary. If you do not wish for me to drop by like this, please feel free to disconnect your fireplace from the network."
"I merely asked for some notice, Lucius. I thought you of all men would have been courteous enough to give your friend some warning."
"Why? Did I interrupt something important? Are you hiding something?" Lucius sneered.
"No, Lucius, it is the mere principle of it!" Snape was becoming furious with the man. What did he want anyway?
"I apologise Snape," not sounding at all sincere. "I just came by to see how you are doing."
Snape stared at the man, not knowing whether or not to believe him.
"You have taken time out of your precious day to see how I am doing? You're joking, right?" Snape asked without any hint of humour in his voice.
"Do you realise that you haven't been out of this house for weeks? The last time I visited you, which was about a month ago, you looked extremely pale. And I return today and you're even paler. This is ridiculous, Snape! You have to stop this little game and return to the wizarding world."
Snape was about to retort, but paused thinking. As much as I hate to admit it, Lucius is right. After eighteen years I am tired of being here at Spinner's End. As much as I love the solitude, traveling to the muggle markets up the road is no longer the successful trip it once was. I do want to go back to the wizarding world (I'm running out of potion ingredients) but after eighteen years, the idea is too absurd to even consider.
"I understand that you are concerned, Lucius. But I am fine here and would much rather stay put than enter the wizarding world and cause havoc and concern."
"So you plan to live like this for the rest of your life? Do you plan to die alone? If I didn't visit you every so often, I wouldn't even know if you were alive! You never make the effort to keep in contact."
"Since when have you ever worried about me, Lucius? You have your own family to think of and incase you hadn't noticed I am a grown man who is perfectly capable of defending and caring for himself."
"You may be an adult, but you're being extremely childish, Snape! You are hiding out in your house like a puppy dog scared of the big bad world. Sure, everyone thinks your dead, but the fact is that you're not. You are very much alive, though your skin is so pale I wonder how much longer that will be the case. I risked my life for you and I think it is about time you entered the wizarding world again. I cannot believe you have managed to survive so long by yourself. I don't think I would be able to last a week living in a muggle infested town, having no contact whatsoever with people in the wizarding world."
"Well that would be because you have a family, people who care about you and things you would like to do. Unlike you, I have no one and am perfectly content brewing potions from my lab. Do you have a problem with that?" Snape spat at his friend.
"Don't you start getting angry with me, Snape; I am only trying to help you realise the stupidity of your actions. It's been EIGHTEEN years! It has been so long that Draco is married and has a son and you haven't even met Scorpius- he's ten years old! That is how long you have been here Snape! Enough is enough! I am tired of keeping your secrets for you, it is about time you take responsibility for your own actions- your own choices. Stop shutting yourself away and face Potter, talk to him about his mother, for goodness sake, we all know that's what you think about-"
Lucius stopped himself from continuing when he saw the look his friend gave him. Snape wasn't angry, but hurt. What Lucius accused him of was entirely true and it worried Snape that even Lucius, who visits him only once a month, could tell what he was thinking- Lucius wasn't even capable of doing Legilimency. Was Snape really that transparent?
"Do you even know what Potter has been up to these days? Do you know what's being happening in the wizarding world?"
In truth, Snape originally received the Daily Prophet every morning, but eventually became so involved with his own creations and inventions that he hadn't read a newspaper for the last five or six years.
Snape shook his head in response to Lucius' question.
Malfoy's eyes were popping; he couldn't believe how much his friend had isolated himself from the wizarding world.
"Okay, well allow me to enlighten you. Potter has three children. I don't know their names or how old they are, but I have seen them once when Potter brought them to work with him to show them around. One of his sons looks exactly like him- it's unbelieveable, an almost exact resemblance. Potter is still working as an Auror in the department, but is now Head of that department, only recently Kingsley promoted him. Speaking of Aurors, a couple of them spotted some Dementors not far from Hogwarts. It was all over the papers. I wouldn't be surprised if it shocked a lot of people because, in case you weren't aware, a Dementor hasn't been seen out of their enclosure for about eighteen years."
Snape didn't know this. Although he used to get the Daily Prophet, he rarely read the entire thing and mainly kept an eye out for information about Harry and anything about himself that may be in there. It was becoming clear to Snape that he had completely lost touch with the magical world, which prompted him to consider the possibility that he should return to the world he knew he was a part of.
"The real reason why I actually came to visit you this morning was because I heard a rumour yesterday afternoon that Minerva McGonagall is looking for a new Defense against the Dark Arts professor as Professor Derwent, I think his name is, is retiring at the end of this year."
Snape had a confused look on his face. Was Minerva Headmistress of Hogwarts?
"Please tell me you knew Minerva was Headmistress of Hogwarts," Lucius asked his friend bitterly.
Snape shook his head.
"My God, Snape, I can't believe your seclusion! You really have shut yourself away from the world, haven't you? To update you then, Minerva has been Headmistress ever since the Dark Lord's downfall, the ministry has been very pleased with the changes she has made to the school and I believe she does need a Defense against the Dark Arts teacher for next year."
"And what has this got anything to do with me?" Snape asked, knowing too well what Lucius was implying, but wanting to hear his response all the same.
"I thought that the perfect way for you to re-enter the wizarding world would be to teach your favourite subject at Hogwarts. If you apply for the job, I am sure Minerva will hear you out and likely hire you if all goes well at the Ministry and they give you permission to teach. If Minerva does forgive you, then you can return to Hogwarts and teach. You would no longer be stuck in this dreary place, moping about the past and all you have lost."
"I am not going back to Hogwarts, Lucius. I spent so many years of my life there and I would rather not teach little brats again."
"Listen to me, Severus. This is the perfect opportunity. I am sick of seeing you cooped up in your home year after year. It is about time you left this place and went back to the Wizarding World. Why don't I inquire about the teaching post for you? If you wish, I can talk to Minerva and see what I can do."
"Minerva actually talks to you?" Snape asked, somewhat jealous. He doubted very much that Minerva would ever talk to him after what he did.
"Of course she does. Minerva believed Potter's assertions about me and has consequently put any resentment or hatred aside. And I must say that she has done an excellent job with the school."
Snape almost choked on the mead he was drinking.
"What did you just say?"
Lucius smiled. "As I said, Severus, things have changed. There is harmony in the wizarding world now- it will surprise you greatly. Although some people are still suspicious of me after so many years, a majority of people are quite civil towards me and I to them."
Snape couldn't believe what he was hearing. Maybe the wizarding world really had changed for the better. Perhaps his returning wouldn't lead to court cases, punishment or interrogation. Maybe he could just enter the world, stay at Hogwarts and never be seen out of the castle. That way he would never see Potter and be forced to hear the outburst the man so badly wanted to give him eighteen years ago.
Deciding that perhaps he will heed Lucius' advice, Snape said: "Fine, Lucius. I give you permission to inquire about this job. Make sure you have a private meeting with Minerva and ensure that no one else hears what you say; I don't want people knowing the truth until I have decided for certain that I am going to teach at Hogwarts."
Lucius nodded and stood up.
"I congratulate you, Severus for taking this first step." Lucius said smirking.
Does he think I am a child or something?
"I will go to the Ministry now and send an owl to Minerva. If you've lost track of the time, it is September the 3rd so another year of Hogwarts has only just begun. I'll ensure that she contacts you if she is interested."
Snape nodded.
"Stay alive, Snape. I don't want to return here in a few days time to find that all my efforts were for nothing."
Snape nodded again, knowing that Lucius' attempt at harshness was in fact his way of saying 'take care'.
Snape watched the tall, slightly graying man being dissolved by the green flames before picking up his handwritten script and continuing to decipher where he may have gone wrong; the potion was still a deep purple.
The following morning when Snape was eating breakfast, an owl pecked on one of the few windows in Snape's house. Standing up to open the window, Snape noticed the owl was a tawny, the breed usually used at Hogwarts. Gulping his food down, Snape carefully took the letter off the owl's leg and stared at it. He didn't know why he was being so stupid. After all, it was just a letter, not a howler. And yet, Snape felt the letter was more than an indication of whether or not Minerva wanted him to teach, but what she thought of him… if she understood what he did and why. Her response, to Snape, wasn't about whether he got the job, but whether he would be accepted back into the wizarding world. Having worked with Minerva for many years, he knew she was strict but fair. It gave Snape hope that if she was able to understand, then perhaps others will too.
Sliding a knife under the Hogwarts seal to open the letter, Snape's hands were shaking as he opened the parchment out and began to read:
Dear Severus,
Lucius wrote me a letter yesterday afternoon requesting that he see me in private. I had no idea why he would want to do such thing, but never did I think it would be to inform me that the rumours from eighteen years ago were actually true. He saved you that night and you have been alive ever since without telling a soul except the Malfoys? I didn't believe him, but he insisted that it was true and to send an owl to you if I still doubted him.
Lucius told me about your lifestyle and what you have been doing and he asked me to consider you as the Defense against the Dark Arts professor for next year. In all honesty I was inclined to say 'no' because for all I knew you and Lucius may have been up to something. However, I thought about Albus and how he always had faith in you and I remembered that when you taught Defense for one year, the students you taught did very well in their exams. I decided that you at least deserved the opportunity to teach at Hogwarts again if that's what you desire. I must also apologise for the way I treated you the last time we met at Hogwarts. From the various accounts I have heard from Albus' portrait and recently from Lucius, I am forced to believe that you were always on the Order's side and more loyal to Albus than any of us thought possible. I deeply apologise for my judgment and I do hope you will forgive me, especially if we are to work together in the near future.
However, before I accept you as a member of staff, the ministry must know of your continued existence and they must also have some form of proof that you are in fact, not going to kill Harry, for example, as some sort of revenge on Voldemort's behalf. Of course, the ministry would be foolish to think that you have waited so many years for the sole purpose of killing Harry. With Kingsley as minister, I am sure we won't have a problem. If you wish I can ask Harry Potter to give the evidence required; he was the one who cleared Lucius' name after all.
Once the ministry knows of your existence and you have been cleared of all charges, I will gladly accept you as a member of staff at Hogwarts for the year 2016.
Please send your reply as soon as possible.
Yours sincerely,
Minerva McGonagall
Snape read the letter over once more to ensure that Minerva was in fact willing to accept him after everything he had done. Snape was grateful that Lucius did not attempt to explain why he had changed sides; somehow he didn't want people to know about that side of him just yet. First, they had to accept he was alive before they learnt he was in love with Lily Potter.
Recalling the interview Harry gave eighteen years ago, Snape doubted Harry would clear his name and so decided to suggest that, if the ministry would accept it, for them to ask Dumbledore's portrait for the required evidence, rather than Potter; he would rather not bother Potter with his continued existence; it would only complicate matters.
Minerva,
I maintain no harsh feelings towards you with regard to how you treated me that night. You were doing what you thought was best and if I were you I would have done the same. I was on your side, but acting a different part, I didn't expect you to see that and I completely understood why you acted as you did. However, I must admit that I was surprised you wrote to me regarding the teaching position and never thought it possible that you would forgive me. Of course, I am not complaining.
On a separate note, I suggest that rather than asking Potter for evidence of my innocence, that you ask Dumbledore's portrait instead. I don't know how the ministry will react to that request, but I do not feel it would be suitable to bother Potter after all this time; I am sure he would rather forget the whole ordeal ever occurred. I hear that he has children now and I wouldn't want to disrupt his life. Also, if possible, could you attempt to keep my continued existence solely between those who must know because I would rather not draw attention to myself and what I have done. Ideally I would like to reside at Hogwarts, except for holidays and be asked as few questions as possible, especially by the students who have undoubtedly heard a lot about the Battle at Hogwarts, having parents who fought during that time.
Once you have obtained the necessary documents and cleared my name via Albus' portrait I hope to hear from you. I understand that my requests are rather selfish, but as Lucius may have told you, I am reluctant to return to the wizarding world after so many years and don't wish to waste my time proving my innocence when I know too well who I am and what I have done. If they need proof, Albus or Lucius can give it to them for I will not represent myself in court begging for their forgiveness and understanding.
I thank you for your continued trust in me and will do whatever is necessary to ensure my employment so long as it doesn't involve me entering the wizarding world until September 1st 2016; I don't want to be exposed to ridicule and questioning until I have to be.
Remember not to bother Potter.
Severus
Snape read over his letter before summoning an owl to deliver it to Minerva. He hoped that Minerva would take his advice and not ask Potter for evidence. He dreaded the look on Harry's face, his green eyes glittering with anger and making every effort to see Snape to give him a piece of his mind. That was the true reason why Snape didn't want Minerva to contact Harry and inform him of his continued existence; he didn't want to see Lily's eyes reflecting the hatred, anger and conceit he always feared Lily felt towards him after he called her a 'Mudblood'. He would rather never see Harry again and hoped Minerva would respect that and keep his appointment a secret until it was necessary. Now all he had to do was wait until the following year when he would once again return to Hogwarts. As long as he never saw Potter and that the ministry accepts his innocence, Snape would be happy to return to the wizarding world because as much as he hated to admit it, he missed the magical world and couldn't understand how muggles can be so content within their world- obviously they didn't know any better. But Snape was becoming restless in Spinner's End and couldn't help but hope that everything would turn out for the best, after all, he was tired of shutting himself away and Lucius was right; it was time to open the door…
"Kinsgley- Lucius- Percy- we are to keep this quiet, understood?" Minerva addressed the three men standing in her office.
"Of course," Kingsley replied.
"Absolutely," Percy answered.
Lucius nodded his head in response.
"Excellent. Kingsley and Percy are here because they require some account or proof as to Severus Snape's innocence or rather, evidence that he was fighting for Harry Potter's side as opposed to Voldemort's eighteen years ago. The minister has graciously accepted evidence from both Albus Dumbledore and Lucius Malfoy if they are willing to give it. Do you wish to go first, Lucius?" Minerva asked Malfoy, realizing that the man looked a little nervous, though she had no idea why.
"Not a problem, Minerva. I- I suppose you want me tell you what happened eighteen years ago?"
"Whatever you please, Lucius, as long as it reflects Severus' true loyalties," Minerva replied nodding her head.
Lucius gulped; he didn't know if he was ready to retell the story as he had made every effort to forget it himself. "That night, Snape had failed to retrieve Potter for the Dark Lord which I thought was a bit strange at first, but I didn't question Severus about it. Of course, the Dark Lord tortured Severus for failing to capture the boy but when he saw Potter running into the forest, he ordered Nagini to kill Snape and went to pursue the boy. Later that night, after we thought Potter was dead, Narcissa and I were walking a bit further away from the party trying to find Draco. Ahead we saw a figure lying on the ground and as we walked closer we recognised it to be Snape. I couldn't believe he was still alive as the Dark Lord implied he had killed the man with the Avada Kedavra curse. Snape told us that Nagini bit him but was summoned to the Dark Lord before she could finish him off. He was very weak and after much persuasion from Narcissa, I took Snape back to the Manor. Once we arrived, I told Greagor, our house elf, to tend to Snape whilst I went back to help Narcissa find Draco. Snape stayed at the manor for five days and on the third day, my family and I decided to confront Snape; we were still suspicious as to why he couldn't find Potter that night as Draco said he saw Harry several times. He told us, after much persuasion that-" Lucius stopped speaking and looked around the room as if hoping someone would continue for him. Although he had forgiven Severus, he still found it hard to speak of it in such a light manner. Looking towards Dumbledore's portrait, he saw the old wizard smile at him, encouraging him to continue. Lucius found it strange how much the wizarding world had changed since the Dark Lord's downfall; never in his life did he imagine that Dumbledore would be smiling at him. Boy was Snape going to get a surprise when he returns to the wizarding world.
"He told us that he was the Death Eater that overheard the prophecy regarding Potter and that he told our master immediately what he had heard not realizing that the prophecy referred to Harry Potter. I continued to question him about it, knowing that he and James Potter deeply disliked each other at Hogwarts. Eventually it occurred to me that he and Lily Potter were in fact friends at Hogwarts and Snape had fallen in love with her…" Lucius trailed off at the end. Everyone in the room was silent, not even the portraits of previous headmasters and headmistresses made a sound. After what felt like an eternity, Lucius continued, having thought of a polite way of describing what happened afterwards without going into huge detail about his disgust at the idea that Severus risked everything for love.
"Severus told me that ever since the Dark Lord killed Lily he has been working for Dumbledore in an effort to redeem himself. And according to Severus, he had been working for the Order of the Phoenix ever since. I assure you that Severus was not lying to me, there is no way he would have said those things unless they were the truth."
Albus was nodding his head in agreement.
"Did you have something to add, Albus?" Kinsgley asked, Percy's writing hand poised above the parchment ready to write the second account of Snape's loyalty.
"I will only second Lucius' assertions and add that everything Lucius has said with regard to Severus' interactions with myself and Lily are true. Severus made me promise not to tell anyone about his love for Lily and I have kept my word until this day. Severus organised to meet with me when he found out that Voldemort believed the 'boy' implied in the prophecy to be Harry Potter. He insisted that i take every precaution to ensure Lily's safety which was completely unexpected on my behalf and i must admit i was hesitant to trust him. But after questionning him further and ensuring that he was in fact telling the truth, he continued to give me updates on what Voldemort was doing with regard to the prophecy, whilst i protected Lily. He was giving me regular updates and i have no doubt that Snape was already spying on Voldemort and giving me truthful information even before Lily died. At the time, I thought that Severus had a fondness for Lily, but never did i expect that he loved her so deeply that he would have done what he has since her death. The night that Peter betrayed the Potters and Lily and James sadly lost their lives, Severus came to me again. I could tell that he was extremely distraught so I decided to not question him further regarding his attachment to Lily although there was no doubt in my mind that he loved her deeply. With some persuasion, Severus agreed to help me protect Harry, in honour of Lily's sacrifice and has done so ever since. With regard to him killing me all those years ago, I will openly state for the records that I ordered him to kill me for I was dying anyway and it was necessary for Voldemort to maintain his complete trust in Severus. Severus didn't want to obey my orders, but true to his word he murdered me when the time was right. I ask that you do not punish him for any of his actions because there was hardly anything the man did that was not first my idea."
"So do you, Albus and you, Lucius believe that Severus Snape is fit, able and deserving of the post of Defense against the Dark Arts professor at Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry?" Kingsley asked in a professional tone.
"Absolutely, I am only sorry I wasn't able to give him the job for all the years he was teaching at Hogwarts, but as you probably know, the position was jinxed and so I couldn't give him the job. I would be very happy if Severus were to return to Hogwarts and be able to teach his favourite subject, it is the least he deserves."
"What about you, Lucius?" Kingsley inquired.
"I feel he is ready to leave his home and face everything he has left behind. Eighteen years is more than enough time to absorb what has happened and I feel that a position at Hogwarts would be an ideal step for him to take."
"Very well, I give you permission to inform Severus that he is allowed to return to Hogwarts to teach and I will send you the official documents tomorrow morning to show that Severus has been let off with no charge for any of his crimes," Kingsley addressed Minerva. "Have you written down all the notes we need?" Kingsley addressed Percy.
"Yes, Shacklebolt, everything we need is here."
"Well done, Percy. But before we depart, I thought I would tell you Minerva that a couple more Dementors were found a couple of kilometers from Hogwarts this morning. They have been caught, but we are still no closer to finding out who the perpetrator is, I am sorry to say. But nevertheless, I thought you should be kept informed of what is happening with the regard to matters such as these."
"Thank you, Minister, I appreciate the update," Minerva asserted, a little worried that the release of the Dementors didn't seem to be an accident.
"Good day Lucius, Albus, Minerva; we'll be in touch."
"Wonderful, Kingsley, thank you very much for taking the time to come here and accept a rather strange mode of evidence.
"It is my pleasure, Minerva. I assume you will inform Severus of his appointment?"
"Yes, I will minister. Thank you."
"Come on, Percy, let's get back to the office." Percy looked around the office one final time, the expression on his face made it clear that he could hardly believe that everything Harry had told him about Snape was in fact true. Although he was disappointed that he couldn't tell anyone about what he heard, especially the fact that Snape was still alive, Percy knew better than to disobey a direct order from Kinsgley; there was no way he was risking his position at the Ministry of Magic.
Once Lucius followed behind the Minister, thanking Minerva as he left, Minerva was left to her thoughts. Although she didn't know the full reason as to why Severus wished to keep his existence a secret, she did know how much it would mean to Harry Potter that Snape was still alive. Minerva was puzzled as to why Snape seemed to think Harry would not wish to know about his continued existence and consequently convinced herself that she knew better than Snape in this particular situation. Although Minerva was not someone to meddle in other people's lives, she felt that this was something she had to do…
A/N: Sorry for such a long chapter. I know it wasn't that exciting, but some of the things that occur in this chapter are very important, so they needed to be included. The next Chapter: 'it's not much, but it's home' has already been written and is set the following year- this is where things start to get interesting- I promise!
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