Disclaimer: See general disclaimer in profile.

A/N: I'd figure it would probably be good to post another one before I go on vacation. This one takes place immediately after Aftershock: Part 2

Oh and a great big ginormous THANK YOU to everyone who has reviewed. You guys are great!

EDIT!- Thank you to -EHWIES and vinnie the geek for pointing out some horrible errors in my writing. I have gone through it and hopefully fixed everything involving my tenses and quotations. Gack, me hate tenses…

Unforgivable

The wind wraps me in its cold fingers, blowing my hair and cloak about wildly and making my eyes water. The horizon is grey with storm clouds, bunched together in towering masses that threaten to swallow the remaining blue sky. But I'm numb to most of it. Strangely detached. My body is heavy and my mind is blank.

It's as if someone has pushed the reset button on my brain because it is too much. Because all these emotions, all these 'what-if's and 'could-have-been's are way too foreign for me to comprehend. In other words, I'm protecting myself. Sealing away and erasing all the possibilities that might upset me. That is the way I work. It's my body's natural process of eliminating anything that threatens to send me over the edge.

I know I could have said 'yes'. I could have just let my mind explore those dangerous thoughts despite my better judgment. But I didn't. Now all I have are memories. Pictures and sequences of what I have just witnessed without the emotion that goes with them. I stare off into the ocean and the clouds where I can see her eyes. The eyes that had been as dark and cold as the water below me, and just as unforgiving.

"She would have done it." I state plainly. It is a fact and nothing more. The boy next to me doesn't respond. He seems frozen as well. Just the two of us staring blankly out into the curve of the Earth below the dangerous sky.

"I know." He replies. No feeling in those words. Another fact. My announcement needs no explanation or argument for him to understand. A shiver cuts across my flesh that has nothing to do with the wind. A gull cries from somewhere above us.

"Why didn't you morph?" I ask. There's the sound of a shoe scraping against stone as he shifts position. I sense a shift in his attitude as well. While I stand there waiting for his reply, I know that if my mind wasn't in shock I would probably be fearing the answer to that question, but at this moment I can't seem to feel anything if I tried.

"I needed to know." The wind almost carries the words away before I can catch them. Something in me plummets and before I know it, I'm stepping forward to lean over the edge of the cliff. Bent and spasming, I watch the contents of my stomach plunge towards the rocks and the sea. But even then I feel nothing. It was mainly reflex. Like when you smell something rotten and gag on impulse.

The vomit spatters on the jagged edges of the coast and I stumble back from the dizzying view and wipe my mouth, willing myself not to retch again from the taste. My breath comes in small pants, and a cold sweat erupts on my skin making my limbs tremble from the cold. It's like my body is reacting to what my mind cannot. I lick my lips and taste bitterness.

"Why would you do that to us?" I ask in a hoarse tone. The wind answers with a lonesome howl and then suddenly I realize my lips have stumbled and brought out another question entirely. There's something strange in the atmosphere, stranger than the electricity from the approaching storm, and I'm threatening to be sick all over again from the realization of my mistake.

I clench my fingers into fists, nails digging into the soft flesh of my palms and turning my hands into little balls of pain. He is silent and pale beside me, with a face that gives me nothing and an aura that floats dead and heavy around him. I turn and stare hard at him, hating what I see. Blank eyes that sit like dull marbles in their sockets, a mouth relaxed into a heavy frown, and hands that fall limp at his sides, grasping and reaching for nothing.

"Why would you do that to me?" And this time when the words flow, none of them are a mistake. I see the shudder that passes through him as some part of him comes back to life, back to the present.

"I'm not strong." He whispers and something wet trails down his face.

Suddenly I'm submerging back into the memories, fresh, sharp memories that aren't dulled yet by the sleepless nights and active mind that strips the details. These are crisp and vivid, all senses still intact. I'm seeing her again for the first time, feeling the painful clench of my stomach and the breathlessness that accompanies that image. Her hands held high, her muscles twitching with the pressure of restraint, and her eyes cold and dead with what she's about to do.

She's done this before but it's much different now. Before it was always an accident, always a thousand nameless faces, merely numbers on paper. But to do it up front, to kill someone who you have laughed and cried with and who has shared with you the most intimate details of their life, that is another thing entirely. Some part of you must die before you can commit something as unforgiving as murder.

I'm convinced now it was already long dead in her when we first met. With a jerk I'm brought back to the present. There's a cold sensation on my face and when my fingertips brush against it they come away wet.

Tears.

I stare at my hand dumbly, not understanding how I can cry when I only feel numb. I realize my mistake as dark circles dot the ground around me with the first rain we've had in a while. It's just a light drizzle and neither of us make a move to leave, but I know somehow that it could pour and we would still be standing here like statues. I realize right then, that I don't want to go home. I don't want to creep into my familiar dark corner to be left alone. Even in this deadened state a part of me longs for company.

The ocean whips about more angrily with the approach of the storm and I'm colder than ever with the wind blowing against my damp skin. Goosebumps rise, along with some strange demented satisfaction that forms from my thoughts. It is the first thing I can feel in what seems like a very long. However sick it is, there is a small part of me glad to have witnessed such a breakdown.

To know deep down inside that I was right all along, to know that I'm better than her in some way makes me content. To know that she could have killed him brings me a shameful satisfaction. The satisfaction that I'm stronger than her, that in the end I, with demon-blood flowing thick in my veins, was the more human between both of us. It's relief more than anything, but for what it's worth I don't think I would ever want to see it proven again.

"I needed to know if what I had with her meant anything." He says suddenly, catching me off-guard. His voice is still calm, and when I glance over his face betrays nothing of his thoughts even as these painful words are born.

"How could she do something like that? What made her this way?" He rambles tonelessly, staring off into the frothing sea. I shrug my cloak closer around me as he asks the questions my sick satisfaction doesn't want to hear.

I'd rather look at the reality of the matter, not what caused it. It's so much easier just to say she was born that way with the evil already deeply instilled within her. It's so much easier just to believe she had it in her from the beginning, that it was a part of who she was. But I can't tell him these things for two reasons.

One is because I'm not that cold-hearted and sick to say such things, especially so soon. And the other is because they are lies. A part of me knows that during some time in her short life, she couldn't have done what she almost did today. There was something that brought her to that point and made her mind strong enough or broken enough to kill another human being in cold blood.

"Something happened to her. I sensed it when we first found her. Maybe all the people she's accidentally killed finally got to her, or maybe someone really important to her died. Whatever it was, it destroyed the part of her that keeps us from taking the life of another. Maybe she lost somebody she loved…" I trail off, allowing that last sentence to be taken by the wind.

There's a part of me that is afraid to let him hear that thought and pretty soon I'm content enough to leave it to fate to decide whether he caught it or not. He seems to try and digest what I've said, chewing his lip and rolling his eyes over the ominous horizon. While he thinks, I'm left here to catch up with my own words and reasoning. The city is dead behind us, a modern day ghost town. I wonder for a moment how many died during the brief invasion and how it is those loses don't affect me the same way a near-loss of my friend has. A dark truth dawns on me as I delve deeper into the meaning of what I've told him, but just then he interrupts with another question.

"Raven, if she did it, if you guys hadn't gotten there in time…would you have-"

"In a heartbeat." I respond, fully accepting the fact that by saying so it makes me no better than Terra herself.

But as he flashes me a bittersweet smile and leads me away from the cliff and the approaching storm, I feel like I could have lived with her blood on my hands had she taken him from me. I feel like for all the pleasure I've managed to squeeze out of revealing her darker nature, I know in my very core that had she brought that rock down on him, whatever had shattered in her long ago would have shattered in me and I would have followed in her footsteps without regret.

A/N: This one-shot was done for a number reasons and has managed to morph from one purpose to another. Originally I wrote it because it bugged the crap out of me that Beast Boy didn't just morph when Terra had him trapped and was about to go in for the kill. Then as I kept writing it became more of how I wanted to show the fanfic world that Terra probably would have killed him had the Titans not interfered. This was relatively easy to spit out compared to the other one-shots I'm working on right now. And sorry if there's any grammer mistakes. I was pretty rushed to get this finished with packing and all...

Hope you enjoyed it. Feedback is greatly appreciated and if you have any questions feel free to ask.

-BN