Disclaimer: Rizzoli and Isles does not belong to me.

Chapter 6

Jane paced the bullpen like a caged animal, wearing thin the linoleum on the floor. One end to the other, up, down, muttering to herself. She was a woman possessed, she was a woman on a mission. Except, she had no idea where to start. It was just as well everyone had gone home for the night. If they hadn't done so willingly, they would definitely have done so just to ensure that they didn't incur the wrath of one Detective Jane Rizzoli.

Just over two days ago, she had replied to the email saying that she would accept and when was she to start. And she thought she'd at least have a couple of weeks to prepare but the phone call immediately after, and the voice at the other end asked if she could get to DC by the beginning of next week, and before she's even thought about it, she's said yes, and the person on the other end, hangs up leaving her with the details of the address to her apartment and an empty dial tone. And now she's wondering what on earth made her agree. Despite having told her family and her partners, past and present, that she'd put in for this change and been accepted, she has not yet told the blonde she used to call a friend till the whole relationship business went tits up, and she herself is barely prepared for the change that seems to be drawing only closer and closer. She thinks of her apartment still scattered with dirty laundry and beer bottles, and of Jo Friday, for whom she's made no prior arrangement for via the airline even though she knows dog whisperer Korsak would be happy to fill in till she got things sorted. But she knows that if the blonde were to find out from someone else other than herself, then the woman will be pissed or if she leaves it any later she'll chicken out. She's got to start somewhere so she does.

"God dammit!" she growled, as she whisked her jacket off the back of her chair. She knew where Maura was, the restaurant Christoph had taken her being the one where he wanted to propose tonight. And despite the slight crimp it might cause his plans, she thinks, there's no time like the present, and before she even thinks about what he consequences her showing up is going to have, she's already squealed out of the parking garage and towards her fate.

Jane enters the dimly lit French restaurant in a slightly calmer yet no less determined mood than she was a mere 20 minutes ago, and her eyes roam the place, searching for the blonde before she spots her and that idiot of a Frenchman, sitting in a quiet booth away from everyone, and she strides over. It's clear from both their faces that they're surprised to see her, Maura especially whose expression is mixed with a tinge of apprehension because despite the space she asked the brunette to give her to process, they haven't exactly spoken more than their count of civil words to each other at work since and she thinks that perhaps, she's tired of waiting.

"I'm sorry to interrupt your evening, but do you mind giving us a couple of minutes? I need to talk to Maura. Urgently." The Frenchman nods, none the wiser. He doesn't see her as a threat even though he should and Jane can't help but feel a degree of melancholy and an intense amount of sadness for the cloak of oblivion and romanticism he has wrapped himself in, far enough to believe that no one could ever take his girl away from him simply because in his eyes, the love he has for her is enough. Never mind the fact that they hardly knew each other, or that love isn't simply based on the emotion you feel for that one person but rather a combination of things; trust, honesty, compassion, friendship. She slid into the booth, resolve and bravery gone, the minute she does so and instead picks at the scars on the back of her hands.

"Jane?" The sweet and melodic voice draws her out of her trance and she looks over to see concern in hazel eyes. "What is it you need to speak about that's so urgent?" Jane cleared her throat.

"Well, I..." As if by a bizarre twist of fat, they are suddenly interrupted by two violinists who started playing some such sappy song or other. Jane scowled. "You got any Black Sabbath." Maura held back a giggle.

God, it felt good to be friends again, to pretend, if only for a moment, she thought. The brunette's sense of humor was one of the things she loved about her, regardless of the times when she didn't seem to 'get it'. They discreetly moved on.

"You were saying?"

"Yeah. So, this urgent thing I need to tell you about..." she started, only to find herself interrupted yet again, this time by Christoph himself who has decided to make an appearance. The brunette stifled a groan, resisting the urge to face palm herself. Clearly, the fates weren't on her side. At least, not tonight.

"Are you two alright? Do you need some more time?"

Jane stood. "No. No, it's fine. I'll leave you two to it. I'm sorry to have interrupted your evening," and before Maura can even bat an eyelid, she's gone.

She's standing in front of the coffee maker in the break room, trying to dissolve the countless heaps of sugar she's just thrown in to her morning cup of Jo's when she hears a throat clear behind her, and she turns to see the ME standing in the doorway.

"Would you like to tell me what last night was about?" she asks with a pointed look. Jane sighs. She had hoped to at least have had some time to prepare before heading down to the morgue to try again. Coffee at least, before even being able to operate but then she thinks of the job in Washington and how she's accepted it, and she knows that Maura deserves to know. Nodding her head towards the seat, they both sat down, Maura a little more hesitantly. The distance between them does not go unnoticed by either. Jane cupped her hands around the steaming mug, grateful for the temporary relief it provided in her hands before she began.

"I wanted to tell you this yesterday. That's why I showed up so suddenly but then after one interruption after another, it just became more difficult to get the words out. I'm sorry too, by the way, for interrupting your dinner," she sidetracked. Maura cocked her head to one side.

"Jane, if this is about what you said a few weeks ago..."

The brunette's hand shot out to cover the dainty one that belonged to the ME. "It's not," she reassured, before re-thinking her words. "At least, not entirely. I know you said you needed time to process and decide and do whatever it is that goes on in that big brain of yours, but I figured you should know...I put in for a job elsewhere." The shock Maura feels is beyond description. She had never thought it would amount to this, but clearly, she was wrong. "Angela asked me to go to DC with her. She put in a good word for me with one of her colleagues, who has given me a position. But it's just temporary," she hastened to add. "Just till you figure where you want to go with all this." She shrugs continuing. "I thought maybe, the distance would do us both some good, give us some space, let you think without the added pressure of my presence." She tries to convince herself of her words and that the silence that follows is a good thing, but she knows she's only kidding herself. She lifts her head to look at the window, in an attempt to put her jumbled wanderings into coherence and focuses instead on where the rain is pelting at it, leaving long, wet streaks down its pane.

"When do you leave?" The question comes out of the blue and it's not the one Maura wants to ask, but she finds herself doing so anyway.

Jane turned to face her best friend, looking uncomfortable. She gulped, suddenly nervous, as if she knew what the blonde's reaction would be.

"Four days"

And then it comes.

The whirlwind torrent of question and statement all rolled into one. "Four days!"

"Yeah...Look, I know it's short notice..."

"Short notice?!" Jane winced. This was not going well at all. "Thi...this isn't short notice! It's..It's no notice at all! How long have you known?" she demanded.

"About the offer, or since I accepted?"

"Is there a difference?"

"Well...yes. For a start, the timeline is different, though not significantly so, unless you're willing to calculate it into hours, minutes, seconds and milliseconds..." she's aware of how much like Maura she's starting to sound. "Although, if you're talking about how long I've known about the offer to put in a good word, that, I can confirm is longer, but it was by no means a confirmation, so technically, there was nothing to tell." Maura's eyes narrowed.

"It's been about a month since Angela said something?" She doesn't think it's possible but somehow, the blonde's eyes contract even more, leaving a dangerous glitter of gold flecks to the already darkened hazel. "Coupla' days since I accepted and they confirmed." she squeaked. "But in my defense, I thought I'd have longer. I thought they'd give me longer and not want me to come right away." Maura looked at her incredibly and she grasps for whatever hold she can get on this conversation, whatever sliver it may be.

"Why didn't you say something? Why keep it to yourself for so long? Does your mother know? Do Frankie and Tommy? Cavanaugh? What are you going to do with Jo Friday?" The slew of questions hit her head on. They just kept coming and coming. She'd barely had the time to think of a response to one before the next one was shot out.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Slow down there. First of all, yes, Ma knows. So does Frankie and Tommy and Frost and Korsak. And before you start shooting loads of questions at me again," she said seeing Maura open her mouth and promptly cutting her off, "I told them not to tell you." Maura felt physically ill. She knew she'd told Jane to give her some space but did she really think, she couldn't come to her? Tell her what she was thinking? And the others...why hadn't they said anything? Hinted even? But just as Jane had been doing ever since they had met, she answered the questions that had been on the forefront of her mind. "I thought it'd be better if you heard it from me," she said. "It wasn't their place to break it to you, to hit you with news that big, and I knew you'd be furious if it came from someone other than myself. And well, let's face it, Maur. Ever since I told you how I felt, you've barely been able to look me in the eye. It's a struggle some days to even get you to stay in the same room as me."

Tell her you love her.

"I..."

But then they're interrupted by Frost at the door saying they've got a lead on their suspect and Jane takes that as her cue to leave. It's her last case after all, and she'll be damned to not go out with a bang, to not let it go cold.

"I have to go..." Maura nods. And despite her complacency and apparent on the surface nonchalance, deep down, she's experiencing a turmoil of emotions that she's been experiencing since the day she realized the change in her affections toward the brunette which she thought she'd put a tamper on. But Jane's confession has opened it all up again, causing her to feel raw and vulnerable and confused. And she wants to stop her, to shout from the rooftops that she loves her too, that she's in love with her but that she's scared. She's scared that if she changes the dynamic of their relationship, that somewhere along the way, she'll lose her too because in the end, everybody leaves. It's what she learnt whilst growing up. And even though all she wants to do is put her arms round that long neck to draw her closer and kiss the brunette's soft lips, and show her just how she feels, she can't because in the event that it all somehow goes wrong between them, a life without Jane Rizzoli is no life at all.

She watches silently as Jane gets up and goes to the door, turning to look back her way once to give her a small smile before disappearing out of it and there's still that niggling voice in her head saying,

Tell her you love her.

But the words just would not come.