Hi!

Thanks to all you wonderful reviewers out there! I will be replying to you soon, but wanted to get this chapter posted first. It was supposed to be longer, with a poem at the end, but I've chopped it off to enjoy in a better context in another chapter (not sure quite where yet, but ah well...).

I got my review target! Yay! 20+ for next chapter, please? :)

This is the last of Arya's musings for a while, action is to happen soon! I hope you enjoyed them.

The Meepsta :) :)

Chapter 5- Loivissa

I told him.

I told him how in my dreams it haunts me.

I told him that when I dream, I smell burning flesh and feel the pain... the pain... that tears me apart.

I told him how I wake up screaming, only to find I'm in my bed, not strapped to the table in a cold, bare room.

I told him.

What does he think of me now... a coward, or a weak female? Or both? Why... why did I tell him?

I look down, surprised, as he places his right hand gingerly over my left, comforting me. It feels right... so... so good, so nice, the unexpected warmth in the crisp winter night.

"The stories about the heroes of old never mention that this is the price you pay when you grapple with the monsters of the dark, and the monsters of the mind. Keep thinking about the gardens of Tialdari Hall, and I'm sure that you'll be fine." He assured me.

His words surprise me by their wisdom; he speaks now like a true elf, his actions and thoughts mature and sensible. Not at all like he should be at his age... but that is one of the mysteries of magic...

That night, we sat there under the stars, sharing a precious moment of companionship that neither of us could bear to lose.

That boy... that man in the vision. He haunts me, my dreams, my visions, what is left from my life. Who is he?

He comforts me when I'm down... finds me when I'm lost and far-gone.

But who is he?

Of course he's a Rider, his dragon 'Saphira' tells me that much.

But who really is he, to invade my privacy?

"Loivissa."

And guided by the power of the true name, Eragon found a seed buried deep in the dry soil. Then, he began to sing, in lilting and soft tones, in the fashion of our race...

Purple with blue streaks... it was my favourite colour, similar to the shade of a morning glory, and glowed in the setting sun. It reminded me of something... somebody maybe, from long ago? But what... who?

Faolin sung a lily for my pleasure, twenty years ago.

The two lilies in the vision have made me realise the fault with our relationship, Faolin and I. Everything... oh... everything was all too 'perfect... too 'ideal'. I never imagined a world without him at my side, and he never imagined one without me.

This was our downfall, and his lily's too.

We were made perfectly for each other, an 'ideal couple', as my mother once boasted to her Elven nobles. Play-mates, rivalries, from our very earliest years, I can never remember a time without him. He was my older sibling, my protective guardian, my opponent and rival. He was the mother and the father I never had... the sibling... the friend I never had. This was all until he came. He changed my world... my life. My love.

I suppose my mother was right, in a way. We were the most perfect couple you could ever find: him being the Eldest son of the richest Elvin noble and a great friend of my mother's, and I the Princess of the Elves. My skill and wit was only matched by Faolin, Glenwing (on a bad day), my mother, and the Rider, Oromis. But the Elder Rider was not exactly your normal Elf, being crippled, but still had his mind and dragon.

We both wanted the same things in life: a future outside Ellesméra, and each other for company. Taking up the roles as Ambassador and Chief Protector of the Dragon Egg were the only way for our wishes to come true.

I suppose I got my first wish in my capture. Torture in a prison cell in Gil'lead was of course outside of Ellesméra, but it was not to say I enjoyed my 'holiday' in the least. However, I know there is no way of my second wish ever coming true; Faolin's body was already beginning to stiffen in the grasp of death when we parted. I have to face the truth. He is never going to come back...

Only later, when we were in our late 20's did we realise our feelings for each other. The next 70 years were spent in a state of bliss and happiness, but we felt that something was missing. That 'something' was adventure, an ambition to see the world outside. We were invincible... unstoppable. We were the finest of Elves, stong and proud of our race. But how, in our great wisdom, did we ever expect the pleasantries of Ellesméra to extend outside our borders?

So then, you know the rest of the story: the Shade's ambush, my capture, the torture, and the rescue.

And I swear never... never in my life, to love again...