Just got off oovoo with my bestie so I'm feeling SUPER chipper today. Probably going to be two updates once again :D

Enjooooy

The rest of the Glee members looked at the pair of you oddly. You didn't blame them. "Hey." Mr. Schuester said happily. "We weren't sure you two were going to make it." He admitted. Quinn took her typical seat, second row far right side. A quick glance over at her and your gut hardened, a familiar sting came to your eyes. Your Quinn was gone, not a single sign of contentment on her face. Where soft expressive sad eyes were now held stone cold hazel orbs. Where a gentle sad smile once was now was a thin line, all traces of any emotion gone. You missed your Quinn, you missed her smell, her touch. It killed you to see her so stiff, so stone-cold. Your chest was getting the recognizable weight back. It was weird, the depression held its own numbing agent for the pain Quinn brought you yet holding Quinn was a numbing agent for the depression.

Glee rehearsal continued as normal, you still hadn't spokne of you 'aha moment' idea and you were pretty sure you never would.

People in glee were starting to notice your metaphorical absence as well. You saw glances from Tina every now and then, Finn would sit next to you and take your hand and give it a squeeze. It felt foreign in your small hand. There was once a time where this gesture would make you squeal and bubble over with excitement and joy. Now, it barely sparked any kind of reaction from you. In fact, it was starting to annoy you, having his oversized palm engulf your own.

It was almost impossible to avoid Kurt, his knowing yet curious eyes following you around, every move you made was tracked by his gaze. Deep down you knew you were going to need these people, but at this moment their glances and hand-holds were more pissing you off.

Was it too much to ask to be left alone? For once you wanted to keep a secret, you wanted to hide your feelings. Maybe if you hid them well enough they would just go away.

This was, of course, an impossibility. You could hide your feelings from the glee members but you couldn't ignore the feelings. You couldn't ignore the impossibly quickened hear rate brought on by Quinn looking in your direction. Couldn't ignore the eruption of jealousy caused whenever Sam or Finn made her laugh. You couldn't ignore your gut freezing when she caught you looking at her. And you knew you would never be able to ignore her voice. Quinn was one of the few members of glee you felt could actually make it in the music industry. She had the had looks, the voice, the determination. She could get so far and it hurt when you saw the uncertainty flicker in her eyes right before she would sing. "Rachel, you still in there?" it wasn't a voice you cared to hear so you didn't flinch any.

"Maybe she fell asleep." Finn. Once upon a time his voice would have woke you from your haze but now your feelings for him were either too diminished or your utter demise of depression gone too deep. Maybe even a combination of both.

"Her eyes are open retard!" Puck.

"You can sleep with your eyes open!" Finn.

"Yeah, if you're like possessed or something!"

"You think she's possessed?"

"I watch it on TV all the time. Person stops talking and just sits there with a crazed look on their face."

The talking subsided for a beat.

"She does look kinda crazy."

"Oh my god, I can't believe I dated either of you." Ow you think as yet again a sharp knife-like stings runs from your gut to your chest. "She just needs…" Quinn's voice stops short and your heart rate picks up.

How did you let this haze take you over like this? You didn't even feel it come on. You guessed it made sense though, you were so lost in your thoughts about Quinn, your secret numbing medication for the depression, that it crept up on you without warning.

Quinn still hadn't finished her sentence, you wished she would because you weren't even sure what you needed. "What? What's she need? Water? A cross?" Finn's tone was frantic. You wished you could speak but everything felt so heavy. You weren't even sure if you could lift your arm to shush anyone. Your legs were back to being dead weights like they had when this all started. When you figured this all out.

Yet again your heart rate was picking up, slowly increasing as your mind tormented you with thoughts you had pushed back for too long in your efforts to comfort Quinn. Your chest clenched, tightening its grip on you, almost as if it was trying to stop your lungs from having the ability to move. Next was the ice cold sensation in your stomach, branching out to every other organ slowly. You're breathing quickened, chest heaved and grip tightened its hold on the chair. All because of your thoughts. They raced around buzzing from memory to memory. "I don't hate you." "You don't belong here Rachel." "You can't hate me for sending you on your way." "Don't pretend we're friends!" Your whole body shook with the dry sob that escaped your lips. It was like you had been holding your breath for the longest time and forgotten that air was necessary to live, and now that it was reminded to you, you frantically took in as much as you could. Some breaths short others long, and some sounding more like hiccups. Where was everyone? Why weren't they doing anything. "Finn, do something!" Your eyes squeezed shut and a groan left your mouth as another eruption of pure unadulterated pain washed through you. Quinn's plea was so full of emotion.

If only she hadn't asked Finn to help you, he was patting your back like one would do to a chocking person. His hand smacked your back once more and you winced as some air was knocked out of your lungs. "You're hurting her!" Quinn shouted frustrated.

You watched out of the corner of your eye as she sat next to you and gingerly took your hand. Another dry sob escaped from you. She pulled her chair so it touched yours and wrapped her available arm around your side. Your breathing only became more frantic, she was holding you again. "Rachel, you're okay." She whispered. You took an attempt to gain a more regular breathing pattern but failed miserably. Strong hands let you go and you felt your first tear betray you. They weren't gone for long though, they returned to bring your legs up and drape them over Quinn's. "Help lift her" you hear her demand to someone. The other listened and hoisted you off your seat quite uncomfortably, and you found yourself in an incredibly warm lap. One breath in through your nose and you realized you were sitting in Quinn's lap. For the hundredth time you let out a dry sob

No, no, no. This was too close. She was too close. You were too vulnerable. You weren't ready for your heart to be shattered. It had barely recovered from before! Being near Quinn always meant heart ache was soon to follow, it's just how things worked. Surprisingly enough she traced patterns on your back that you actually found quite soothing if you got past the trail of fire they left behind.

You fisted her shirt and squeezed your eyes tight as you pressed your body further into hers. She wasn't speaking, only running her fingers around your back ghosting over it, sending chills throughout your body. You buried your head under her chin, your face hiding from the other members. Taking in her scent through frantic breaths you squeezed her shirt tighter preparing yourself for the ache that you were sure would attack your body. It happened when you merely thought about her, why not when she held you too?

But it never came, and instead you felt your first sigh run from your lung, a sign your breathing was at least starting to slow down. When did she start humming? You wondered. It was the same song she sang that day and it sent chills down your spine, butterflies through your stomach, and warmth through your chest.

You loosened your grip on her shirt but still held to it, not quite ready to let go. This was your Quinn, she was back temporarily and you were going to milk this moment for as long as you possibly could. She stopped singing and let go of the feather light grip she had on your hand, her motions on you back stopping too. Your heart picked up speed once more, thudding so hard it felt it may burst its way out of your chest. Your hands and body pressed impossibly closer to the blond, silently begging her to not let go, not just yet. Please not yet. You felt you might suffocate even with how fast you were breathing. You completely forgotten your panic attack routine, too focused on Quinn, don't let go, come back, please, please, please! You screamed in your head. And she answered by taking your hand again and placing something wet and cool around your neck.

You shivered but instantly started feeling better. You felt light again. Another shiver ran down your spine as you felt her fingers rub circles at the base of your neck where the cold wet garment wasn't covering. Your mind finally kick started and you remembered your routine. Breathe in. Shaky breathe out. "There you go." Quinn whispered to you knocking out all the air you sucked in right back out of your lungs. "In again." She stated. You obeyed easily. Her hand moved to your spine and she trailed her fingers down it as she whispered 'out' into your ear. A whole new kind of shiver took you over. It was erotic, her lips so close to your ears, her fingers trailing down your back. "Breathe." You obeyed. "Exhale." You did so, smiling slightly as she used different words to tell you to do the same thing.

Soon you were gaining your breathing all on your own and there wasn't any pain. It was like Quinn had magic powers to make all the negative around you disappear. "Better?" she asked. Another shaky breath out and you let go of her shirt, slowly prying your own body off of her. Your eyes bugged and you apologized as fast as you possibly could seeing the tear stains on her shirt. You hadn't even realized you were crying apart from the one tear. "Shh, Rachel it's okay. Don't give yourself a panic attack because of that." She scolded and your mouth shut quickly.

But your eyes were slowly trailing down from her own, leaving hazel to search for her perfectly cute nose, and landing on soft plump lips. A simple lean and yours would be touching hers. Just one simple lean and you could feel just how soft her lips were. The thought made you blush and you looked back into her eyes.

It happened again, you forgot the rest of the world existed, not really sure when it faded in the first place, again, but it all came flying back to you once you took your eyes away from Quinn.

"Rachel, are you okay?" You really had to try and stop your eye roll. Couldn't anyone have said something first? You didn't have the energy to deal with his sad puppy eyes.

"Jus sleepy." You manage to say. Shaking your head you try to sound more coherent. "I should be heading home. Daddy will be sure to send out a search and rescue team if I'm too late." Was it late enough to say that? Or would glee still be happening at this time? A gentle hand squeeze and your sleepy daze comes back over you. It amazed you how conflicting your feelings were with Quinn. You've never felt so comfortable and safe with someone just holding you and yet make you feel so terrified and depressed.

Quinn squirmed under you and you realize how uncomfortably embarrassing this must be for her, but when you go to scoot off her lap she squeezes your hand again. "Are you okay to stand?" Whether you were or not you were going to get off her lap this second. It was the first time you were able to smell her breath and God was it heavenly. A mixture of peppermint and sweet fruit. Was it oranges? You nod and get to your feet, not really letting go of her hand but seriously loosening your grip. To your surprise she didn't let go either, probably afraid you may faint. "I'm fine Quinn. Really." You tell her. You didn't want her to let go, but you felt it necessary to say.

"You're sure?" You blush, looking around at your fellow glee clubbers. Why was she being so nice? Laughter fills your head at the similar sentence Quinn asked you only an hour ago but you don't let it leave your lips. Instead you nod and are surprised to find you're the one to let go of her hand. "I'll be heading home now. Thank you everyone for taking care of me." Your eyes flicker away from hazel long enough to look at everyone else. "I'll see you tomorrow." You finish before shakily making your way out the chorus room.

Voices linger behind you as you make your way to the entrance of the school. It seems Quinn's magic powers only work when you're around her for you can feel the dark haze looming over you already, waiting for the perfect moment to take over completely. It all dissipates, however when you feel a hand wrap fingers around your arm. "Where are you going?" Quinn demanded. Her tone caught you off guard, as did the left over panic in her eyes, and you actually had to think about where you were headed.

"Uh…I told you…I'm sure I told you." You say more for yourself to try and remember what you said.

"Yeah, home but where did you park? You're not even in student parking." If her eyes didn't look so gentle you would have thought she were angry with you.

"I don't own a car." She stares at you incredulously and you can't help but blush and pout. "Driving isn't one of my finer talents." You mumble.

A smile slowly spreads across her face and soon she's laughing loudly. Your heart jumps. You did it. You got Quinn Fabray to laugh. You made her smile so brightly that you thought the sun was merely a mirror of the girl's eyes. Joy consumed you as you try your best not to smile at her laugh. She would have questioned it, she'd want to know why you were smiling as she laughed at you. "Come on Berry, I'll give you a lift." She says as she turns. You don't move though, you're back to not trusting her.

"Why?"

She turns to face you, her expression hurt. If you wanted to kick yourself before, you desperately wished you could now. "Fine, whatever, I was only trying to help Berry." She said your name with such toxicity you actually flinched. "Stupid, stubborn, annoying ass." You hear her mumble. Now she was just being unfair.

"I wasn't being stubborn!" You yell. "If you were in my shoes what would you think? If the girl that tormented you for years suddenly held you and consoled you and then offered you a ride what on Earth would you think?" You had her. You knew by how her shoulders slumped and how she stopped walking.

She sighed and turned to face you, her own face now apologetic. "No tricks, I promise." For further measure she put her hands up in mock surrender.

You can't help but eye her suspiciously as you slowly make your way up to her. Once you reach her side she starts walking too, her strides matching yours.

Quinn's car was small looking on the outside but the second you sat in it you felt like you could sprawl your entire body out and still have room for two more bodies. It was probably due to your short size.

She turned her car on and made her way out of the parking lot. "Mind if I make a quick stop?" You froze. This was just great, you let her trick you into her car and now she was already about to humiliate you. "God you are so frustrating!" she yelled and you flinched. "I promised! I mean, Christ!" And cue guilt.

But you had a right to be worried. You had the right to believe she was going to break you again with no mercy. You sigh and try to diffuse her.

"Sorry. I'm just, it's not every day someone is nice to me just to be nice. There are usually ulterior motives or they feel obliged to because they're my boyfriend." You admit bashfully.

"Sorry," was her only reply.

You felt your eyes droop as the ride grew silent and comfortable. It always surprised you how much your panic attacks took out of you. "Rachel?"

"Hmm." You hum lazily. There was a beat before she spoke again.

"Would you like something?" Your eyes flashed open confused by what she meant.

Oh.

You two had stopped at a gas station. "No thank you." You tell her politely.

She exited the car after cracking the windows for you, leaving you with your thoughts. Had this all really happened? Or would you wake up on the auditorium floor having fainted for some peculiar reason? You let your head rest on her window. It was cool, the starting of fall already having its effects. You began to wonder what you would be doing right now had you walked instead. No doubt the haze would be looming over you if it hadn't consumed you already. And you were pretty sure you'd be clutching at your sides desperate to keep your body from ripping in two.

This was how you knew it was love with Quinn, neither Finn or Jesse made your insides feel as though they were torn, ripping themselves in two just because you felt you didn't have a chance. The other clue was that Quinn brought on your panic attacks, all with just a touch or a word; she made breathing the hardest and easiest thing to do. And she was making sleep possible again; you thought feeling the unconsciousness slowly wash over you.

"Well that's safe, falling asleep in an unlocked car at a gas station." Quinn's sarcasm wafted over you and you couldn't stop the sleepy smile that spread over you. "I got you something." You hear her say in a tone that was apprehensive. What could have possibly caused that? You keep your face straight but heart prepared at what is displayed before you when you look over at her. A grape slushie, with sweat dripping down the side. Panic slowly made its way out of your body when you notice there's a plastic lid over it.

"I said I didn-"

"Consider this my truce, you didn't have to do what you did today. So, yeah as a thank you I offer you a truce via slushie." This wasn't real; this was your mind playing tricks on you. You were dreaming, that must be it! You were dreaming and soon you'd wake up and go about your day per usual. Cry, workout, cry, pretend to eat to please dad and daddy, go back upstairs and try not to let your body rip apart as you attempt to sleep.

If it were a dream you wondered from which dream possibility, the one where you fainted in the auditorium or the one where you just happened to fall asleep in Quinn's car. "Are you going to accept or not?" Quinn's voice pulled your thoughts to a close. "This isn't exactly the most comfortable thing to hold."

Cautiously you took the cup preparing for a slushie explosion.

Her glare clearly told you that just taking it wasn't good enough, so you wrapped your lips around the plastic straw and took your first sip of what soon would be your daily slushie.