Disclaimer: See first chapter
A.N: After yesterday's angsty little oneshot, I am so glad I have this to come back to. Thanks to Dee, gurugirl, Louey06 and edwardfiend for your great reviews.

The Prince of Darkness woke mere minutes later and inspected himself. No apparent gaping wounds, a few little bruises and all of his hair. He had also awoken beside a traffic cone and had no memory of the previous night's festivities. All in all, it must have been a good night.

He padded into a clean drawing room in an attempt to trace his steps. It was the only way he would remember what happened to the last bottle of his mother's homemade wine. Finding Tonks and Lupin sitting on the loveseat and laughing, he backtracked slightly. Perhaps he'd go in later. Yes, that was for the best. After all, Remus hadn't got his leg over in years.

Sirius was halfway up the stairs before he remembered that Tonks was family and it was his job to check out any possible conquests and deem whether they were worthy enough to engage in a relationship with his baby cousin. He would take that job seriously and Lupin was anything but suitable boyfriend material.

They didn't seem to mind that Sirius had joined them, although Tonks had shot him a look that could have turned milk sour when he tried to sit between them. Lupin seemed slightly disgruntled but said nothing.

"Oh, this place is nice."

"That's because it's clean," joked Tonks, grinning at Sirius and trying not to laugh as Lupin winced and massaged his temples. "So don't touch anything."

"Can you both stop shouting please?"

Sirius smirked. This was priceless. "Remus, we're not shouting."

Lupin groaned and stood slowly. "You know, I think I'm going to make some tea. Would anyone else like anything?"

Sirius shook his head. Lupin made tea like dishwater with about six sugar lumps and the tiniest splash of milk. It made him feel sick but Lupin appeared to be obsessed with it.

"Actually, I'll go down with you," said Tonks, tapping her pockets to ensure she had remembered her wand. "I'd better be getting home. I have work in the morning."

Sirius smirked. He had done all he could for the girl and still she insisted that she needed to be alone with Remus Lupin. "If you've cleaned this, we'd better sit in the kitchen Remus. I'll be down in about five minutes. I have to get dressed."

Lupin rubbed his eyes. "It's half past seven and I don't know what you have planned but count me out."

Sirius grinned. "I'm going to cure your hangover."

Lupin was forced to agree to placate his friend but inwardly, he wanted to scream. He nodded towards the door and waited for her as Tonks was enveloped in a bear hug. She struggled slightly but, as most people realised, there was little point attempting to escape Sirius.

Sirius waited for several minutes, giving them enough time for a quick goodbye and, he frowned slightly, possibly a goodnight kiss. He sighed and headed down to the basement kitchen, hoping to avoid Kreacher who would find much amusement in his master's situation.

He flung himself into the kitchen and slammed the door shut behind him, finding his housemate leaning over the kitchen counter, counting sugar lumps and grinning inanely.

"What are you doing?"

Lupin looked up and beamed. "I'm making tea." He appeared to have been cured of his hangover anyway. "Five…and…six. Sure I can't tempt you with some tea?"

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "I'm positive. You don't need tea anyway. You need hair of the dog and a Marauder sandwich. We're going to need a new one. Fuck Peter and his chicken breasts. He only liked them because it was the closest he was ever going to get to breasts. I'm choosing fried egg."

"A fried egg sandwich?"

Sirius grinned. "Hell yes! We'll assume Prongs will stick with his beloved ketchup. If you pick Branston pickle, I'll kill you."

Lupin groaned. "But I like pickle."

"I know," Sirius assured him. "I've seen you spoon it straight out of the jar. What else do you like, other than chocolate and sweet tea?"

Lupin smirked. "Well I'm partial to cheese on toast so here's what we're going to do. You toast the bread and cheese and I'll fry the eggs." He would never have agreed to this had he not been high on euphoria. "I'll even let you spread the ketchup because you'll put obscene amounts of it on there and James would have liked that."

As the hiss of frying oil filled the silence, Sirius frowned. Lupin glanced over at him and raised his eyebrows.

"Sickle for them?" he asked, tossing the pan with a slight movement of his hand and flipping the eggs.

"How do you do that?"

Lupin grinned. "Practice," he laughed. "Now what's up?"

"It's nothing."

Lupin reached for the toast and distributed the eggs, tossing the ketchup bottle to Sirius who caught with less ease than he would usually.

"Doesn't look like nothing," muttered Lupin, taking his sandwich and praying for mercy as he took a tentative bite. "This isn't bad actually."

Sirius shrugged. "It doesn't matter to me or anything. I honestly don't care."

"But you want to know what happened between myself and Nymphadora in the hallway."

Sirius nodded, taking a large bite of his sandwich and staring Lupin out, daring him to lie.

"Nothing happened, Sirius. I just saw her out and bid her goodnight."

Sirius smirked. He had spotted the loophole. "What did she do?"

Lupin sighed in half mock exasperation and half worry.

"She kissed you, didn't she?"

"She might have done."

"Where?"

"On the porch."

Sirius stared at his friend as though he had grown a spare head. "I despair of you."

"It was a peck on the cheek. I didn't throw myself at her!"

Sirius sighed and glowered. "Hurt her," he warned in tones that would not have felt out of place in The Godfather. "And I will decapitate you."

"Fair enough."

Sirius offered his hand for Lupin to shake and failed to be amused by Lupin's laughter.

"Remus, we have entered a gentlemen's agreement and it is customary to shake my hand."

Lupin rolled his eyes but shook the outstretched hand anyway and collected their plates, allowing the washing up to, for once, wait until morning. He took his mug of cold tea and bid his friend goodnight.

"It's not even nine o'clock. You only just got up!"

Lupin raised his eyebrows. "No. You only just got up. Don't drink. Don't get out pictures of James. Above all, don't wake me at three in the morning to burn books with you. Tomorrow will be difficult enough without sleep deprivation."

Shit! That was why he had a headache. That was why his hangover had mysteriously disappeared with Tonks. Sirius gave him a knowing half-smile.

"Do you want me to stay with you?"

Lupin shrugged. His monthlies were still a sore subject. "If you want to."

Sirius laughed. "If you think I can be trusted to keep myself entertained, more like. I'll be there. I'm a less expensive, poisonous and complicated version of Wolfsbane, right? You always said you felt better when we were there. Well, it's only me now but I'll do my best, okay?"

"Sirius?"

"Yeah?"

Lupin pulled his friend into a one-armed hug. "Thanks."

Her pink hair was covered with tiny white flakes as she flung open the door of Grimmauld Place and gasped as her bitterly cold skin was warmed as much as it could be in Grimmauld. It was painful but it was heavenly.

Sirius shut the door to the kitchen behind him, whistling Werewolves of London as he carried a plate of chicken along the corridor. He jumped when he came face to face with Tonks who smiled at him but did not apologise. She looked toward the coat-rack. Good. It was still there. Her excuse was valid.

"Hi. I forgot my scarf."

Sirius raised an eyebrow and smiled. "He's a little busy at the moment. Why don't you come back tomorrow, after work?"

Tonks blushed; her crimson cheeks clashing violently with her hair. Sirius could only assume she was glad Lupin was busy enough to miss this.

"Busy?" she asked, finally able to morph her complexion.

Sirius resisted the urge to laugh. "Yeah, he's…um…he's hunting."

"Hunting?"

Shit! What the hell was he saying? He would have to go with it now and face Lupin's wrath when he found out.

"Well, you know Remus. His father used to be a farmer and some of his old friends invited Remus to go fox hunting with them and he thought that he had better go so as not to offend them." Sirius smiled, knowing that she had detected his lies.

"Oh…okay then."

"Sirius, could you give it about an hour? Make sure you can see the moon before you come up, okay?"

"That was Remus, wasn't it?"

Sirius groaned. "Yeah, he's just putting his jodhpurs on. They like to go at night. I'm using his bedroom tonight. I'm reading some of his books on…um…pornography."

Tonks stared him out. "Okay. Bye."

Sirius grabbed her hand and pulled her back. "Okay, I'll admit it. I'm lying. I'm lying appallingly. Remus' father worked for the ministry. He's not going hunting and he doesn't own a pair of jodhpurs. He doesn't have any porn either, much to my dismay, because he's the old fashioned sort. Look Tonks, if it was my secret, I would tell you but it's not. It's his. He'll tell you as soon as you let him know that you won't run from him. I'm terrified that I've cocked this up for him and you're the best thing for him, really. He just doesn't know it yet. I mean, you should have seen him last night. I should just shut up right about now. I'll tell him you called anyway. Come back tomorrow at half past six and I'll make sure I'm out, okay?"

Tonks nodded; her confused frown lines still evident on her face. "Sirius, you can't go out. You're a wanted criminal."

Sirius rolled his eyes and handed her the chicken. "Watch," he instructed, lowering his wand to his head and she barely had time to blink before Tonks found herself standing before a large, black dog.

"You do realise that this is totally illegal?"

The dog barked and Tonks gave him an exasperated shrug. She watched him adopt the form of her cousin and, handing back the plate, asked, "What the hell was that?"

"I said," Sirius informed her, smirking. "Yes, I do know, and if you tell anyone I will piss on your leg."

She couldn't help herself. She had to laugh despite her confusion and slightly hurt feelings at their blatant lack of trust in her.

"I'll see you tomorrow. Well, I won't because presumably you'll be chasing your tail in the garden, won't you?"

Sirius sighed as the door slammed behind her.

"Who the hell was that?"

"I'll explain in a minute, Moons!" Sirius called up the stairs. "I'm so dead," he muttered to himself.
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A.N: And this is where I bribe you for reviews. Next chapter up on the 23rd because I have something fluffy and Christmassy so it will be a quick update if I get some reviews. In the words of our favourite werewolf, "It's certainly blackmail. I'm not sure if it's of the emotional sort just yet. Though I will most certainly be more than willing to progress to it if you refuse."