Chapter 6: Undone
The medical bay is actually like a dream. A last meal before death I think of it as. There were only medical droids and JC-2010, he seemed friendly enough. He didnt talk which is why I found him friendly. He stood at his post in the corner of the room. One less person to talk down to me. I frown, I never thought i would feel so little in the universe. Now a prisoner of the First Order being sent to her death in a matter of hours or days. How ever long they felt it was necessary to keep me here. But when i walked into the fresher i wasnt expecting a floor length mirror to cover a whole wall allowing me to get the first glimpse of myself since... since.. i cant even remeber anymore. My face is noticeably thinner, my petite frame even more petite. Almost like a walking skeleton with skin, its unsettling. The rest of the bathroom was genuinely normal. Besides the shower was behind two large glass doors. The shower itself was almost the size of my cell, this is to big to be a normal medical bay fresher but I dont care. I quickly pull off my blood stained clothes and refuse to look at myself again in the mirror. I dont know who that girl is anymore.
The shower was like a warm blanket on a cold night. I allow the water to just flow down my body and soak into my skin. I take my time washing my hair and scrubbing my scalp. Avoiding the cut on the back of my head which seemed to be closed up but i dont need to reopen it. I showered for as long as I wanted for the first time in my life. I allowed myself to relax for a few minutes. Slouching my shoulders and rolling my head to stretch my muscles. Just letting the water slide down my skin.
A knock on the door startled me, almost causing me to loose footing a slip. A droid entered carring a pile of new clothes. It was hard to see in the steamed up bathroom.
"Miss, these are for you. fresh undergarments and a change of clothes. Your others are to be incinerated immediately." She sets them next to the sink and retreats with my old clothes. I take this as a cue to get out. Slowly i dry off my body. Examining my hand, it looks worse but thats the least of my worries. I thought this was the med bay, i thought thats what we were coming here to have checked. I dont know why thought, Ill be dead soon anyways. After i dress in what seems to be a perfect black fitted leggings and black shirt with wraps for the arms. The underwear was the best touch. soft against my freshly soft skin. Iv never worn anything so nice. I shake my head. I finish getting dressed. I was also provided with a new pair of boots, perfect fit no doubt.
Nice enough to be buried in. How are you going to kill me? Will it be fast? Please, i cant take this anymore.
Silence. I dont know why I am trying so hard to make a connection, I dont know why I asked those questions. They popped in my head before i even thought about them.
'Do you really want to know?'
The voice makes me feel unsettled. Tears swell in my eyes.
I dont know why I asked that. No, I dont want to know. Just make it quick. Thats all i ask, you've stretched out my suffering long enough dont you think?"
I cringe. Sudden feeling of guilt washes over me. His guilt? No, my own for allowing myself to think he could care enough to give me a dignified fast death. As soon as i feel it, its gone.
'Are you suffering now? Is the med bay not better than your cell? I can have JC-2010 to walk you back?'
Nooo! Im sorry. This is better than my cell. At least i can see the death slowly eating me away clearly in the mirror. I squeeze my eyes. Tears falling onto my new shirt. Im going to die soon.
'Eat Rey'
And then I dont feel him anymore, roaming my mind. The only thing im suppose to have to keep me sane. Its not even safe. I peak out of the fresher and see a small bowl and a plate with a red meat cut into small cubes sitting on a table near a window overlooking the stars. It smells mouthwatering. Quickly i dash to the chair and sit down and just gaze at what looks to be the best meal in the universe right now. I eat so fast i didnt even taste the food but my stomach wasn't screaming at me anymore and i felt some color come back to my cheeks. i sighed and got up to look out the window. Loosing myself in the passing stars and planets. Its actually beautiful up here. The lights twinkle in all colors, like a song.
"Beautiful isnt it?" The voice came from behind me, startling me I jumped and turned around to see Kylo glaring at me behind his mask. Head slightly cocked to one side. I didnt even hear him come in. Taking in a deep breath I tense. He dismisses the Stormtropper and the droids and turns back towards me.
Are you going to kill me now? My eyes start to water.
"No Im not", he answer back. But out loud and it catches me off guard. I felt his whole body relax. He withdraws his hands from behind his back, allowing his cloak to shift and I see the hilt of his lightsaber and catch myself glaring at it. He reaches up and removes his helmet. For the first time since he kidnapped me from Ach'To, I see his face. His features are just as stunning as I remember. His dark hair laying perfectly around his face, his masculine but beautiful features. His full lips and dark eyes, truly if this man wasnt a murderer I could look at him all day. But my eyes are drawn to the large scar the stretches from the forehead across his right cheek. The scar I gave him. I catch myself gasp and turn and face back out the window. Until now I only thought of him as that mask. Trying to forget the face behind it. The murderer he is.
"Do you want me to put it back on?" he questions me. I shake my head but dont turn around. I hear the loud thud of him setting his helmet on the table and then his footsteps draw near. "I thought it be more comfortable like this. Easier to see." He sounds almost genuine. "You look... better. Please, let me see your hand." He's close, i feel his body heat on my back. Slowly i turn and hes nearly inches away. Taking off his right glove he reaches down and grabs my hand and examins it carefully. I close my eyes, out of habit now, afraid hes going do something painful. He is suppose to end my life at some point in the near future.
'I'm not going to hurt you'
I open my eyes back up and he looks almost sorry as he is looking at my hand. Does he know I fell when he startled my mediation. He basically caused it, but i doubt he knows that. Maybe he does, he was in my head. He removes his other glove and sets it on the window ledge behind me.
'Trust me'
Okay.
His skin burns against mine only in the way of comfort. Its soothing and his hands are soft against my freshly clean skin. His fingers are long and his hand is wide.
No wonder you have a better grip on your lightsaber than me. My hand is so little.
My hand look so small in the plam of his hand, im anticipating anything to happen. Im not scared, Im nervous.
"That may be one of the reasons." He lets out small chuckle. "This isn't as bad as it looks. Though you did a sloppy job of keeping it clean. I guess thats my fault though"
I dont say anything, Im just staring at him with my eyes as wide as i think they can go. Did the King of Rens just chuckle?
Why are you helping me now?
"Rey. I know that you think of me as some monster. And I am. But honestly, you looked horrible and I couldnt allow you to just in that filth anymore. Supreme Leader would not be pleased at how our guest is being treated."
Im so stunned I cant move. Hes like two different people. One behind the mask and the one without it. Both i find intimidating. I dare not say anything because I dont want to go back to that cell. I rather walk strait to my death. I try and retract my hand, Im starting to get scared that Im being tricked and hes going to kill me right here and now. He glasps my tiny hand in between his two large hands and pulls it back a little.
"Don't move" He says quietly.
He closes his eyes and a small tingle emerges in my hand. It doesnt hurt, it actually feels like a refreshing cool wave emerse my palm. The feeling travels up my wrist to my elbow. Its so calming, I close my eyes, relax my body, and just enjoy the sensation. I can feel the force being drawn in around him. And as fast as the sensation was there is was gone and he was stepping back and dropping my hand. I snapped my eyes open and look right at my hand and nothing but confusion filled me.
"Its gone. What did you do? Its gone!" I almost catch a hint of joy in my own voice but I know its just shock. Why didnt he do this to my head when he nearly let me bleed to death bringing me here.
Hes already putting his gloves back on while I carefully examine my hand. He looks at me and hes actually smiling. He turns towards me about to put his helmet back on but pauses.
"Not all things on the dark side are bad." And just like that his helmet is back on and it hisses shut. "JC-2010 will take you to your new headquarters on the outer deck of the ship" his mechanical voice says. "Don't try anything funny, I know what your doing at all times."
'All times'
And just like that hes gone and JC-2010 enters. "This way Ma'am."