A/N: Buzz omni-tool, Duty bio-amp and other equipment you saw and will see here are completely made up and do not exist in the game (though the companies that supposedly made them all exist in the game and the names I'm choosing for them make some sense according to the way each company named the rest of their stuff). Since this story begins thirteen years before the first ME, I thought it wouldn't be right if their equipment were the same.

I'm changing the rating to M, because of language, violence and future steamy bits.

Thank you to the lovely Suilven, my beta for this chapter. And to everyone who reviewed and/or added this fic to alerts and favorites. You make my day!

Chapter 6 – Amends

11/05/2170

The paint on the walls was a different color, the pillows were too soft, the family sleeping in the next room wasn't hers. It was all wrong.

It wasn't that Lisa didn't like living with the Alenkos. She did. They had been nothing but good to her. It was just that everything reminded her of Mindoir. Every damn thing. And it didn't happen only at the Alenkos. At school, out on the street, in a fucking supermarket… Memories of her old life on Mindoir would come to her everywhere. All the time.

By now, she had learned to live through the memories without breaking down, always keeping a straight face and carrying on with whatever she was doing. It was the nightmares that killed her. During a nightmare, she couldn't compartmentalize the pain; there was no holding back her emotions. It was exhausting to say the least. She always woke up a nervous wreck, sweaty and shaky, in tears and with her biotics on fire.

That was how Lisa had awakened today. To make things worse, her right shoulder had hurt all day and she hadn't been able to concentrate and study for the exam she would have at school the next morning. So, when Mrs. Alenko knocked on her door and insisted she'd come out to see Kaidan, she felt like pulling her hair out. His father had left for Arcturus only minutes ago, and Kaidan had appeared there as if on cue. No doubt he had come to scold her because of what had happened at her birthday party, and she was not in the mood to take any shit from him. Her day was already crappy enough as it was; she didn't need him to add to it.

However, not to upset Mrs. Alenko, she dragged herself out of her room. She felt the tingling of dark energy starting to amass and stir inside her; maybe because she was irritated and impatient, maybe because there was another biotic in the next room. If he pissed her off, she could always use a flare to scare him away, so she didn't bother focusing to keep it in check.

Mrs. Alenko left them alone to talk in the kitchen. As she sat across from him at the table, Lisa noticed he only shuddered at her proximity instead of his usual flinching and wincing and gritted teeth. Was he trying to be polite, reining in his aversion towards her? Then, to her utter surprise, he gave her the Buzz IV omni-tool he had set up for her a few months ago. "I want you to have this."

She hesitated. "I'm not going to st–"

"I don't want you to."

Lisa studied his face, trying to figure out why he was doing that, what had changed, but she couldn't tell. There was a flicker of anxiety in his eyes, but nothing else. Giving up, she thanked him and powered on her Buzz I and the Buzz IV, setting up a link to transfer her files from the old tool to the new one.

As she switched the tools on her left arm, she hissed and rolled her right shoulder. It was hurting with her every move. Probably it had something to do with the weather; the doctors had mentioned she might experience more pain in the cold. Although Mrs. Alenko had told her that, thanks to global warming, it hadn't snowed in Vancouver for at least sixty years, they still had low temperatures beginning towards the end of fall and during winter.

When the Buzz IV tool was properly adjusted on her arm, she looked up at Kaidan again and caught him staring at the scar on her shoulder. Ever since she had gotten shot, she only wore sleeveless shirts when alone in her room. Except for today, when she had been angry and upset, and hadn't bothered changing out of her tank top. So, it was the first time he was actually seeing that scar. It was a weird one, sunken down into her shoulder; the tissue puffed and discolored where the entry wound had been.

Embarrassed, he immediately looked away and then a thought hit her and she couldn't stop the sparks of dark energy that crept on her fingers. "You're not giving me this out of pity, are you?"

"No," he quickly answered. "Of course not. I just… it's just…"

She was surprised to see him just letting it happen when the faint blue light started to envelop him. If she didn't know him any better, she'd say he looked almost pleased.

The biotic sparks on her fingers evolved to a full-body flare when he flared. Their mass effect fields clashed violently, making every object in the kitchen shift, until they found balance with each other and finally mingled, making them both gasp.

It was a wonderful feeling and for the first time he smiled at her. Forget cute. Emily was right – he was gorgeous.

"Jane, uh…" He rubbed the back of his neck, a little embarrassed. "I need your help with something. There's no one else I can ask."

She raised her eyebrows. This ought to be interesting.

11/09/2170

Lisa felt like an idiot standing in front of Kaidan's apartment building waiting for her watch to hit 5:40 pm. He had asked her to meet him there at 5:30 pm, but Emily had insisted that she shouldn't arrive exactly on time for some stupid reason Lisa couldn't even remember right now. This was not a date, no matter how much her friend wanted to believe it was. She was just going to assist Kaidan while he put on his bio-amp and, since he didn't want his parents to know, he had asked her to come over instead of going to his mom's. Surely, if he knew any other biotic in Vancouver, he wouldn't have called her there. Plus, he was way out of her league.

Yet, Lisa had let Emily pluck her eyebrows and she had put on some light make-up, as her friend had told her to. As if her eyes were ever going to be pretty enough to draw attention from the scar on her cheek…

At exactly 5:40 pm, Lisa buzzed in and he let her in. He shook her hand, but this time he didn't let go as if she had burned him. The contact made his breath catch in his throat and… he smiled again! She hoped it would become a habit. It was much better than the old flinching and wincing.

His place was small, clean, and organized. He took her coat, but then he didn't even tell her to sit down and went straight to retrieve his amp. It was not a date.

She sat on the couch to wait for him and, when he returned, she was looking at this image of him and a beautiful blonde girl on his picture frame.

"Girlfriend?"

"Uh… ex-girlfriend. I should have changed these pictures a long time ago…"

But he hadn't. Clearly, not a date.

Sitting by her side on the couch, he carefully opened a small plastic case and detached his amp, a Duty II made by Sirta Foundation. He told her how to put it in and turned his back to her. She scooted closer to him and knelt on the couch behind him so her legs wouldn't touch his. Not that she would mind, but he probably would.

His hair was a little too long, partially covering his headjack. As she moved it out of the way, she noticed the skin there was ragged and blemished with old burn marks. "Are you sure this is safe?" she asked, lightly running her fingers over the small scars there so he would know what she was talking about. Goose bumps raised on his skin, so she pulled her hand back, thinking that her biotics might be bothering him.

"This amp, yes. The ones Conatix developed and tested on us, not so much," he said with a bitter laugh.

"I didn't know Conatix made amps."

"They don't. But they made several attempts before shutting down their amp development division."

"I'm sorry." What a nightmare it must have been for those kids over at Jump Zero at the mercy of some greedy unscrupulous company...

"It's okay."

They were quiet for a second and then she put a hand on his shoulder. "Are you ready?"

"Yeah… listen, if I can't control it, I need you to…"

"Lift you upside-down?"

He looked over his shoulder and smiled at her. "I'd say take it out, but that works too."

As she slid the amp in, his whole body tensed, and a strangled groan escaped his throat. She noticed the muscles on his neck, arms, and back flexing, and there was a powerful discharge of dark energy that caused her to jump back and avert her eyes. Thankfully, when she looked at him again, he was already in control and there was only a perfectly even and stable light blue corona around him.

The same couldn't be said about her, though. Incited by his powerful surge of energy, her biotics fired up messily, knocking over the stand by the couch.

With an incredibly fast and efficient movement, he used a biotic lift on her. It took her by surprise, and she let out a girlish squeak. Lisa had used lift, pull and throw thousands of times on many targets while practicing and on her friends at the orphanage, but she had never had them used on her. It felt amazing and she chuckled wholeheartedly, like she hadn't done in a long time.

That "technique" was effective indeed and, seconds later, her wild biotics had settled down and he had a cheeky grin on his face as he lowered her softly to the couch. His content look quickly turned into a frown though, when he noticed his picture frame was broken on the floor.

"Shit! Kaidan, I'm sorry," Lisa hastily apologized, realizing what she had inadvertently done.

"It's fine. It's… no big deal." But the gloominess that took over him as he knelt down to gather the pieces of broken glass said otherwise.

"I'll buy you a new one," she offered. Why was he so sad? The image files surely could be retrieved and pictures frames like that were pretty common and cheap.

"There's no need, Jane. It's fine, really."

It didn't seem like it was though, and it got too uncomfortable for her to stay there. "I better go. I'll see you later."

"Yeah," he said simply.

Lisa let herself out and went home upset, still not quite understanding what had just happened. Tiptoeing around him and all his stupid issues and insecurities was exhausting.

As he threw the remains of the frame in the garbage can, not bothering to download the images of his ex-girlfriend to his tool first, Kaidan mused bitterly over the irony of that incident. Biotics were inherently destructive, and it seemed some things were always meant to be broken by it.

12/02/2170

Mrs. Alenko had to make a last-minute trip to Singapore, where she would meet her husband and attend his grandmother's funeral and last will reading. She would be away for at least a week, so she had asked Kaidan to go check in on Jane every now and then so the girl wouldn't be alone all the time.

When he got there that evening, Jane was on the couch watching TV. Her hair was damp, she was barefoot, and wearing shorts and his old Star Wars t-shirt. She clearly wasn't expecting anyone to show up there.

"Why are you wearing my shirt?" he asked her.

"This? I sleep in it. It's comfortable."

"It's mine." His retort sounded harsher than he'd intended. He didn't care for that stupid t-shirt; he'd just found it odd that she was wearing it.

"If you wanted it, why did you leave it here when you moved out?"

"I don't want it. I thought Ma would throw it away when I left it. This movie sucked anyway."

She rolled her eyes. "Let me guess—there's a much older version that is the real deal and a thousand times better than this holo-trash."

"Well, yeah."

"So, you really don't want this shirt back; you're just bugging me about it for no reason whatsoever!" God, he was so frustrating!

"Look, I didn't mean it, okay? You can keep it."

"Now I don't want it anymore." She hastily took it off and threw it on him with a little more force than necessary. "And send the old version of this movie to my tool. I want to watch it," she said as she went into his—no, her room—wearing only shorts and a white bra, and locked the door behind her.

He had gotten only a quick glance at her as she had turned around and walked away, but it had been enough for him to notice that her toe nails were painted red, her legs were toned and lean. She had a taut stomach, and yet another nasty scar right under her left breast, but her breasts were beautiful, round and small and perfect.

Fuck! What was he doing checking out that crazy biotic kid? His… foster sister or something. Was that really a thing? Foster sister? Hell, he needed a girlfriend ASAP. A normal one.

12/04/2170

It was Kaidan's birthday. Lisa knew it was, because Mrs. Alenko had mentioned it several times. Since his mom wouldn't be back in Vancouver until the end of the week, Lisa had thought he would never show up there on his birthday. Yet, after work, there he was.

Didn't he have any friends? Not that Lisa was complaining, of course; just wondering. This was the most she'd seen of him since she had been to his apartment and broken his picture frame.

At least she had the chance to give him a gift, like Emily had insisted she should do. Her friend was right. Despite everything that had gone by between them, in the end, he had given her that expensive omni-tool for free and it would be nice of her to return his kindness. But, in her own way, of course.

Their whole debacle over his Star Wars t-shirt had given her a good idea for a gift, and now he was holding the small rectangular package in his hands and frowning. "You didn't have to get me another picture frame. I told you that, didn't I?"

"You did, and I didn't."

The package really seemed like it could have a picture frame inside. It had the same shape, and it wasn't too thick or too heavy.

Kaidan didn't look happy to open it and find out it was the hardcover edition of Childhood's End that his father had given to him a couple of years ago.

"I finished it already and thought you might want it back," she said.

"I don't. That's why I left it here."

"Well, you should take it with you. If it means nothing to you anymore, sell it on the extranet. I bet you can find a very good price for it."

He ran his fingers over the cover and then opened it to re-read the dedication his father had left him inside. "Fine," he shrugged. "Thanks, I guess."

Although he was acting aloof, as if he didn't care for the book, she noticed he had gingerly placed it next to his keys on the stand by the front door. She was sure he wouldn't sell it.

"If you had told me you were coming, I'd have baked you a cake," she said.

He shot her an incredulous look. "You bake?"

"Sure. I lived on a farm until… uh… you know. There wasn't much to do there." Another subject, fast! her mind practically screamed at her. "I was going to make spaghetti for dinner. You want some?"

"Ah, yeah. Sure."

They went into the kitchen together and she thought he would just sit down and wait. Instead, he hovered over her the entire time, watching her every move and giving his unsolicited opinion on everything—the ingredients she was putting in the sauce, the quantities, the cooking time. He obviously didn't trust that she knew what she was doing, and she made a point of refusing every piece of unwanted advice from him, just so she could prove him wrong. When he took his first bite, she was staring intently at him so she wouldn't miss his reaction and, though he tried, he did a poor job of disguising his delight, barely holding back a moan of approval.

Lisa smirked and shook her head. The guy was a biotic, for crying out loud; she knew what that was like. Her cooking was not bad, but even if she had served him plain white bread he would have feasted upon it as if it were a juicy piece of steak. That was just the way human biotics were with food.

"Are you comfortable around me?" she asked, breaking the silence while they ate. "I mean, my biotics are not disturbing you anymore?"

"You… hmm… you feel very different. Unlike any other biotics I've known. But I'm getting used to it. To you."

She gave him a crooked smile. "You feel different, too. Compared to Private Mitra, I mean. I don't know any other biotics."

"Hendel Mitra?"

"Yeah. They assigned him to train me while I was at Arcturus. He told me the commander's son was a biotic, too, and that he had met you at Brain Camp, but I didn't know you back then."

Kaidan suddenly looked apprehensive. "Did he tell you what happened there?"

"No. I know it was something bad. Your mom told me you came back different from there."

"Let's just drop it," he said at the same time she asked, "What happened?" It must have been something really serious, because not even her friend Emily with her investigative reporter tendencies could find out a thing about it.

"It was so fucked up. I don't want to talk about it," he said.

"Come on. It can't be worse than what happened to me."

"I didn't know it was a competition. And you never talk about what happened to you."

"But, you know, don't you? It was all over the news. While I don't know anything about your thing. It's not fair."

"Okay, if you really want to know, I killed someone," he spoke sharply.

She was unimpressed. "Bullshit. If you're just trying to scare me, it won't work."

It didn't seem like he was even listening to her anymore though. Dragging his hands over his face, he exhaled heavily and muttered, "God, I need a drink."

Lisa leaned back on her chair and crossed her arms over her chest. "I know where your father stashes his liquor."

Now he was listening.

12/05/2170

Lisa Mae woke up with a start. There was too much light in the room and she blinked a few times until her eyes grew accustomed to the brightness. She instantly jumped to her feet, knocking an empty bottle of whisky on the floor, when she realized that she had slept snuggled on the couch with Kaidan. Her skin was still warm and tingling from being close to him and his biotics for so long. Ha! She had to tell Emily about this; her friend was going to have a field day!

And that reminded her… Shit! She was late for school!

It took Kaidan a few moments to realize where he was and what was going on. The first thing he saw was a frantic Jane running around, getting ready for school.

"I'm taking your car. Is it okay if I take your car?" She was trying to put on her shoes as she walked. It wasn't working.

He stretched out his arms and yawned. "Why don't you take Mom's?"

Jane made a face. "Yeah, about that... She might have made me promise that I wouldn't take her car while she was traveling. And I usually walk to school, you know, because it's not that far and I always wake up early."

"Just not today," he pointed out.

"Not today," she repeated under her breath as she grabbed a bunch of snacks in the kitchen so she could eat on her way to school.

"I'll drive you," he offered. "Just give me a minute."

Kaidan went into to the bathroom to freshen up and straighten himself up as quickly as he could and then met her outside. It was not that he didn't trust her with his car, it was just that… well, he had a feeling that he shouldn't trust her with his car, since his mother apparently didn't either.

As she settled on the passenger seat, she handed him an apple. "For us biotics, skipping breakfast is not very wise."

He smiled and took the apple.

"Why don't I have a hangover?" she asked.

"Was this the first time you got drunk?"

"Yeah."

Damn, what had he done? She was just a kid; he shouldn't have agreed to that. "Well, it's different with biotics. We just sort of power through it. As long as you keep yourself fed and hydrated you should be fine."

"Oh? That is good to know."

He could only hope she wouldn't take that as encouragement to keep on drinking.

When he pulled over in front of her school, she thanked him and kissed him on the cheek before getting out of his car. It was just a quick peck, but it was enough to disturb his biotics. That was odd. They had just spent the night sort of together; his biotics should have been used to hers by now and not getting all riled up with such a small contact.

Already outside the car, she bent over to look at him through the passenger's window. "By the way, did we… hm... make out or something?"

"No. Of course not. God! I'd never… No!"

Blushing, she turned around and walked away from him as fast as she could. She looked disappointed and embarrassed. Had he offended her? Maybe he had been too vehement with his denial, but she couldn't possibly be thinking he would try something when she was drunk, even if he was drunk, too. Or, that he would be interested in her that way. Because he was not. She was just too crazy. And weird. And not right for him.