so...hi!

Here's that update i promised. Just the morning after.

per usual... i own nothing.

TRIGGER WARNING:DEAL WITH/ MENTIONS SELF HARM (IF THAT MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE...DON'T MIND IF YOU PUT IT DOWN NOW)

Thanks for you time

r/r/e

Spencer wishes the bed would swallow him whole. He knows where he is, and he's kicking himself for it.

He hears the soft jangle of Clooney's dog chain- the sputtering coffee pot in the kitchen.

His bare back presses against worn cotton; curses himself internally.

Spencer turns over to find Derek staring at him. Spencer snakes a hand up from under the cocoon of sheets to poke Derek in the center of his forehead.

"Hey Kid." Derek murmurs, a smile creeping into his voice. "Set the pot last night, wanna cup?"

Spencer shakes his head no, not yet. Derek's raises his brow in shock, a mocking smile settling on his lips. Spencer grins back; the chapped, thin skin on his bottom pulls, splitting down the middle.

Derek frowns, swiping his thumb over Spence's lip' smearing the speckles of blood.

"'m sorry." Spencer whispers,his eyes hot as he squeezes them shut. He takes his lip between his teeth and bites down hard, twisting his head to press his face in the pillow.

"Reid? Come on baby boy, open those beautiful brown eyes for me." Derek coaxes, running his thumb against the imprint of Spencer's teeth on skin. He rakes his fingers through Spencer's hair. Spencer's whole body's warm, blush spreading.

"You saw?" Spencer's breath hitches as his gaze finds Derek's. Derek shifts on his side, running the tips of his fingers along the slender column of Spencer's neck.

"Yeah." Derek's gaze sweeps over Spencer's face. Spencer bites down hard again, willing himself not to scream.

"Most of them are old...fading." Spencer's voice worn, tired.

"Kid, you don't have to talk about if you don't want to." Derek runs his hand along Spencer's shoulder.

"Well, that'd be the easy way out; but if I do talk, maybe the elephant sitting on my chest would budge up a bit." Spencer says.

"'m all ears then." Derek ruffles Spencer's hair, letting his hand rest at the crown of his

head.

Spencer plucks at he corner of he pillow he's craddling.

" I've been doing it as long as I can remember...another way to deal with stress. To escape pain...to cause pain...so...utilitarian. I mean, as a kid, what's one more bruise hidden in sweaters? One that wasn't put there by someone else. One that I deserved. One to block out jibes and blows from my classmates. One for failure when I can't catch on. One when I am more trouble than I'm worth. One to numb me when I feel too much. One to make me feel alive... like I'm here, this is real. I'm in pain and here's the physical mark to prove it. It's addictive-easier to hide than the drug abuse." Spencer's knuckles go white as he grips the pillow beneath him, breath hitching as he squeezes his eyes shut."The rational part of me knows that the self-injury makes no sense; it's making my situation worse than ever. Most days are better than others. But some days it doesn't matter. It's just easier to give in." Tears fall in earnest, Spencer stubbornly swipes at his face to clear them away.

Derek rolls over, reaching over to the night stand, pulling off a couple of sheets of Kleenex He sits up completely, pulling Spencer with him until his arm's wrapped around Spencer's middle. Spencer rests his head against Derek's chest, tucking his hand behind Derek. Derek gently wipes the tears from Spence's face.

"I'm sorry for putting this all on you. It isn't fair to you." Spencer whispers.

"Kid. Look at me?" Derek asks. Spencer tilts his head. "You're a pin-feather. This is what friends are for. Lean on me when you need to." Derek squeezes Spencer to him, giving a small smile.

"But you're always giving so much, you shouldn't-"

"I don't like to see you hurt." Derek laces his fingers through Spencer's. "Just like with the nightmare and the drugs, I'm not going anywhere. You need me, I'm there. Got it?" Derek gives Spencer a full-blown smile, and Spencer ducks his head.

"Got it." Spencer ascents.

"For a genius , you got a pretty thick skull." Derek teases. Spence lets out a huffy breath, teasing back.

Spencer stiffens.

"Um...Derek...can I have my shirt?" Spencer crosses his arms in front of him. Derek untangled himself from Spencer, leaning over the side of the bed. He hands Spencer the shirt, who tugs it quickly over his head, wincing as he puts pressure on some of the fresh bruises.

"Thanks. For everything." Spencer whispers.

"No problem pretty boy." Derek says. He only hopes he's making any difference.

a/n: So...sequel coming to a screen near you.

What'd you think?

Thanks for your time, always great to hear from you. *Hearts* DA-sm!