A/N: Even though this story is nearly over over *sniffles*, I can't believe how much people have been enjoying it. After i've finished posting, I was wondering what people thought about me doing another fic just like this with a different movie? I was thinking possibley Singing in the Rain, OR Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. Anyway, tell me what you think. Enjoy this chapter, and thanks again to my beloved aunty blucougar57 for writing this with me =) Reviews are always loved

It wasn't long before our valiant, if somewhat idiotic heroes found themselves lost in the Haunted Forest somewhere west of the Emerald city. Toshiko had – on multiple occasions – tried to run away from them, only to have Owen grab her tail to prevent her from going anywhere.

"You're such a big baby," Owen grunted still gripping onto the costume's tail. Toshiko wasn't happy about this at all. In fact, it wouldn't have surprised Jack that those two ended up getting married, or something. After all, opposites attracted. He leered at Ianto as he thought that little thought, and hoped that his gorgeous tin man was thinking the same thing.

Doing his best to ignore the bickering couple, Jack crept carefully through the completely and utterly and stereotypically spooky forest.

Ianto examined their surroundings with detached interest as they walked, completely oblivious to Jack's lecherous looks. Or, perhaps not so oblivious so much as uncaring. It was hardly his fault if the silly twit in the long billowing, strangely attractive coat couldn't remember that he didn't have a heart.

The trees were a dull boring grey with typical dead leaves hanging off them, giving off a gloomy atmosphere that would frighten the wits out of any unfortunate soul that dared to pass. For some inexplicable reason, horror music was playing out of the owl holes that were situated inside some of the trees they'd passed.

"Will you shut up?! We're trying to hurry up and get through this bloody plot!" Ianto yelled down one of the holes. He couldn't help but notice how disturbed and scared Jack looked as he clutched Coco tightly, with Ollie trotting alongside, and somewhere deep inside his empty tin chest, he felt a sympathetic twinge. Of course, he didn't recognise it for what it was, because he didn't have a bloody heart. So he just assumed it was indigestion from all the cold coffee.

Immediately the terrifying music that had previously filled the air stopped. Jack seemed to brighten up, his face changing from the scaredy cat he'd been only moments ago, to a joyful hero worship look that was directed straight at Ianto. The tin boy didn't quite know what to do about that, and so he did the only thing he could. He completely ignored it, much to Jack's enormous disappointment.

Jack didn't stay despondent for long, though. He would win over his gorgeous tin boy sooner or later. Hopefully sooner, rather than later, because frankly, he didn't want to be in this loony place any longer than he absolutely needed to be.

Before long, they found themselves in front of a wooden sign with an arrow pointing in the direction of the hills ahead. Jack stared at it and began to read it aloud.

"Witch's Castle one mile. I'd turn back if I were you."

Toshiko agreed with the sign, and attempted to turn away back in the direction they'd come. But Owen again prevented her from going anywhere.

"You're not going anywhere," Owen grumbled once Toshiko gave up trying to escape.

"Why don't you two just get a room already," Jack retorted, unable to take his eyes off Owen's scrawny hands, which were currently clutching hold of Toshiko in a very provocative way. He yelped twice as loud as usual when Owen's hand whacked him across the back of the head, and Toshiko thoroughly slapped his face with her tail.

"Care to say that again?" Toshiko asked embarrassedly, but trying to act fierce in a cute lion-cub sort of way.

Jack shook his head vigorously as he deliberately backed away in the direction of Ianto, managing it so that he bumped squarely into his tin soldier.

"Oh, sorry," Jack said to Ianto with an innocent look that was anything but innocent. Ianto of course, just gave Jack a long suffering sigh.

"Of course you are, sir."

All of a sudden, owls and vultures that had been sitting on the tree branches above came alive with sound. Now, if they'd been real birds, then the four companions might have been a tiny bit frightened, seeing that the bird's eyes were glowing bright red. But of course, just by looking at them Jack could tell they were mechanical birds with LED lights where the eyes should be. But as it was part of the plot, and in the script, they all act terrified.

"I believe that there're spooks around," Owen said with his arms crossed, waiting for the next line, but it never came.

Directing his attention to Ianto, Owen repeated his line. "I said, I believe that there are spooks around."

Ianto lowered his head, looking embarrassed.

"I've forgotten my line..."

Owen, of course, gave a grunt of annoyance.

"You're supposed to say, 'That's ridiculous. Spooks. That's silly'."

"Oh," Ianto said in realization. Giving a preparing cough, he said his line. "That's ridiculous. Spooks. That's silly."

At that very moment, Ianto was lifted up off the ground by an unseen foe up high into the air. Seconds later he was dropped unceremoniously, landing with a loud crash of metal.

In an utter state of panic, Jack rushed over to Ianto and dropped to the ground, checking that his precious metal boy was alright. He began checking all of Ianto's vitals to see if he was okay. And after that he began to check that everything was intact, that meant everything. Of course, he knew immediately Ianto was alright when he slapped away Jack's hand from below.

"That is fine, thankyou very much."

Pouting, Jack helped Ianto up. Toshiko stood a few metres away and began chanting.

"I do believe in spooks, I do believe in spooks."

It was pretty obvious that she didn't wish to be airborne like Ianto had been moments ago. Perhaps by admitting that she did believe in the invisible Ianto-attacker – whom Jack would probably kill if he ever got his hands on them – then she would be left untouched. Though, it never occurred to any of them at the time that they couldn't kill something that was possibly already dead.

"Are sure you're okay?" Jack asked Ianto just to double-check he wasn't badly injured.

"Yeah," Ianto said, "I'm fine."

He was touched by Jack's concern… but then again, maybe it was still just that damned indigestion…

*

Peering into the crystal ball with her flying monkeys surrounding her, Gwen cackled madly.

Those idiots had no clue what was about to hit them. Jack belonged to her now, just like she was certain he was always meant to. It naturally never crossed her mind that they might have been on their way to kill her. After all, why would her beloved soul mate-to-be Jack ever even think about hurting her? She was the one person he could ever truly love. It was madness, that's what it was. Since that very first moment they'd met, she could tell that he'd fallen instantly in love with her utterly beautiful body.

It was only that ruddy toy that stood between them. Well, that and the bloody tin boy that seemed to have caught Jack in his nefarious charms. And the idiot scarecrow. And that damned lion wannabe…

Okay, so maybe the whole world was out to stop her from getting what she wanted and deserved to have, but she'd have her way. Nothing could stop her, nothing!

She shrieked in a very unwomanly and Spice Girlish way when one of the monkeys landed on her head and smacked her on the face with his big, ungainly paws, bringing her back to reality.

"You bloody hairball!" she screamed as it flew off with a distinct smirk on its monkey face. Then, she realised that the monstrously ugly creature had been trying to get her to focus again properly on the task at hand. Of course, it was right, though she'd never admit that. Daydreaming was never going to bring Jack to her loving bosom.

Rushing away from the crystal ball, Gwen faced the closest of the balding, chubby flying monkeys.

"Take your army to the haunted forest and bring me Jack and that dog. Do whatever you want with the others, especially that metal moron, but I want Jack to be left unharmed."

The creature replied with suitably incoherent monkey noises and flew towards the open balcony. The sky outside began to fill with chatter as hundreds upon hundreds of flying monkeys – all with the same disturbingly familiar bald-heads, and round, spectacled faces – filled the sky with their pointless chatter.

"Now fly, my pretties!" Gwen cackled. "Fly!"

An instant later, her gleeful laughter was cut brutally short when a bolt of lightning came out of nowhere and hit her square between the eyes. It left her slightly dazed, but unfortunately, no brain – no pain.

*

Exactly one mile away from Gwen's castle, the four companions looked to the sky as a horde of the ugliest creatures Jack had even seen began to fly towards them. They were almost blinded by what seemed to be the sunlight reflecting off glasses that each of the flying monstrosities wore.

As they came ever closer, their inane, hysterical babbling gradually became clear, and Jack and his terrified companions could make out the strange, nonsensical sound of "Four-Five-Six" being chanted over and over again.

The wind began to pick up as Jack tried to run away in terror as the monkey-like monsters swooped down from the sky to chase after him.

Owen was caught almost straight away by the creatures, and his protesting bellows could be heard clear from there to the Emerald City as they began to pull out his insides, scattering the straw all around him.

Toshiko tried her best to flee from them, clambering up a nearby tree in a panicked effort to escape the winged beasts. Fortunately for her, they seemed to be more preoccupied capturing Jack, who was running around the tree below her in a continuous loop and shrieking like a ten year old girl as the monkeys followed stupidly, not realising that they were going in circles.

As Jack continued his endless and somewhat pointless loop of the tree, Ianto stepped bravely in to try and block the monkeys by belting them over their heads with his coffee tin.

It was moderately effective, until yet a second wave of monkeys swooped down from the sky. In the chaos that naturally ensued, two of the beasts each grabbed one of Jack's arms (because really, he'd had one too many sugary treats lately and rather needed to go on a diet) and lifted him up into the sky, legs kicking in panic – although he managed to keep a firm grip on Coco despite his unseemly predicament.

Ollie growled in a cutely threatening way at one of the monkeys in front of him. The monkey regarded him with a curious stare before picking up the tiny ball of fluff and carrying him away into the sky.

As the monkeys finally began to leave, Toshiko climbed down from her tree. She and Ianto quickly made their way over to Owen, whose insides had been removed almost completely.

"What happened to you?" Toshiko asked trying to sound kind. But Owen wasn't in the mood to return that kindness. And really, could you blame him? Anyone would be a tad grumpy after they'd effectively been gutted, even if it was only straw.

"What do you think happened?! They tore my legs off and threw them over there. Then they took my chest out and threw it over there. Not to mention the very important parts that I have no idea where they put!"

"Well, thankyou very much," Ianto snapped back at Owen's rudeness. "There's an image that neither of us needed to be stuck with. I'll be borrowing that bleach of yours later on."

Looking up into the sky, Ianto watched as the monkeys flew into over the mountains ahead towards Gwen's castle, taking Jack with them. He could take care of himself... couldn't he? That thought gave Ianto a strangely acute sense of dread, and he was surprised to find himself hoping that Jack would be all right.

He nearly smacked himself over the head with his coffee can. Jack, in Gwen's clutches? Of course he wasn't going to be all right!

He sighed melodramatically, because he was so good at it. So much for Plan A.

*

Jack actually found his trip rather pleasant as the monkeys flew him to the top of the castle, landing him on a balcony. At least he didn't drop the magical muse; Jack had a feeling that it was going to come in handy pretty soon. Another monkey flew on the balcony behind him holding Ollie. Jack rushed over and picked up the small puppy, grasping it closely to him. The poor animal was probably in shock. And if it wasn't now, it sure as hell would be as soon as it saw Gwen.

As the monkeys flew away, Jack began to examine his surroundings. The room was rather small compared to other dark, confined spaces he'd been in his lifetime. Drapes covered the walls, and in the middle of the room sat a large crystal ball. He rolled his eyes in a very Ianto-esque way. A witch's castle, and there was a crystal ball. Could it be anymore cliché?

That wasn't what scared Jack the most, though. It was the life-size cardboard cut-out of the Captain leaning neatly against the wall that scared him the most. He paused, a smirk curling up the corners of his mouth as he admired the image before him. He had to admit, he was one devilishly gorgeous bloke…

He yelped a little as Ollie growled and nipped his fingers lightly. Of course, that wasn't the point. The point was that Gwen had a life-size cardboard cut-out of him, and who knew what she might have done to it while waiting for the real thing.

Images of certain obscene acts raced through Jack's mind, and made him want to puke…

*Attention, audiences. This scene was removed by the censors due to inappropriate explicit content, in order to keep it within suitable family viewing ratings. The cut scene may appear at a later date in the extended DVD release, with a higher rating for content.*

The door to the tower opened behind him to reveal the most horrifying sight he had ever seen. It was Gwen. She struck a pose in the doorway that she clearly thought was sexy, but frankly, it just turned his stomach even more. Especially when he caught a not so tiny glimpse of the black lingerie she was wearing.

"Sweetheart, you're finally here!" Gwen squealed as she ran towards Jack, jumping up into the air, expecting him to catch her. Jack's eyes widened a little as he realised instantly what was about to happen, and he quickly side-stepped to avoid having her so much as touch him. After all, he really didn't want to have to go through the hassle of biological decontamination when all of this rubbish was done with.

Gwen flew through the air, only to land on the floor with a very painful thump. Jack couldn't quite stop himself from smirking. Now that was a tumbling routine.

At that moment, though, he suddenly caught a glimpse of the shiny wedding ring on Gwen's finger. All he had to do was get it off somehow… but to do that he would have to kill her. He grimaced as another unsavoury thought occurred to him. To do it, he would probably have to touch her. Bloody hell, there was a catch to everything, wasn't there?

Ollie had cowered into an even tinier and cuter ball of sooty white fluff as soon as he saw Gwen, giving Jack the opportunity to look somewhere other than at the scheming green cow.

Gwen looked at the dog with disgust. Even she, with her limited skills of observation, couldn't fail to notice how much attention Jack was giving the puppy, and not her. It so had to go.

Grabbing a basket off the floor, which she'd planned on filling with lots of toys that she and Jack would later be able to experiment with, Gwen swiped Ollie out of Jack's hands and shoved the animal into it, locking it securely. Or, so she thought.

"What are you doing!?"

Jack attempted to grab the basket to release Ollie, but was stopped. During the time Gwen had entered the room, Jack never noticed the balding monkey that followed her, and was now preventing him from touching the basket.

"Jack, it's all for the best. No one will get in your way again to stop you from having me all to yourself," Gwen cooed to him. "I've seen the way you look at me, your eyes full of lust."

She was trying her best to act sexy, but the green of her skin, not to mention the fact that one of her arms was now red from the earlier accident with her potion, along with the black lingerie was very off-putting. Though, even when she wasn't half naked she was extremely off-putting.

"I think you're confusing lust with a stomach bug," Jack suggested, trying to keep his stomach from churning even worse. But Gwen was just laughed it off, playfully slapping him on the arm. She knew he was just trying to be noble, and play hard to get.

"You're such a kidder, Jack. Now…" Gwen turned to the monkey, her ugly green face twisting into something even more hideous than Jack had imagined was possible. Which was saying a lot. "Take that dog to the river and drown it."

"What!?" Jack burst out, stunned. "Don't you dare, you crazy witch!"

It was at this moment that Jack realised that his clever little ball of fluff had managed to escape from the basket that Gwen had apparently failed to secure, and was scampering away out the doors to the tower.

"Run, Ollie, run!" Jack shouted to the dog.

It took Gwen a few moments to realise what was going on, because for a while she just stood there with her eyes glazed over as she ogled Jack's body and imagined everything she was going to do to it.

"Don't just stand there!" she shrieked at her loyal monkey. "Capture him you fool!"

But it was no use. For a small piece of fluff it could certainly run pretty fast. Rushing down the stairs, the little dog didn't pause for a moment as the drawbridge to the castle began to close. With the monkey right behind him, Ollie bolted up the drawbridge and vaulted over the moat of the castle. Gwen's faithful soldiers began throwing their spears at the innocent animal, but missed each time, because they were the evil minions, and the bad guys are never supposed to have decent aim. That, and we never permit any form of cruelty to animals in our productions. Needless to say, the idiot minions allowed Ollie to escape.

Jack couldn't help but give Gwen a smug grin. She had just been outsmarted by an animal probably about fifty times larger than her brain. As terrible as his situation seemed to be, there was still hope because he knew his faithful little furball would find his friends and bring them to rescue him. Not that he needed rescuing, of course, but it would give their confidence a boost. That, and they needed to be at the castle in order for the plot to be resolved.

For now, however, Jack had a very good idea of what Gwen had planned for him – unfortunately. In the meantime he found it much better to live in denial.

Sighing, Gwen turned back to her newest toy, deciding to forget all about Ollie. Some creature in the haunted forest would eat it, she was sure.

"Now that your distraction is gone, you can have me just like you've always wanted. Take me now, my love!"

Again, she lunged towards him, but this time our poor hero didn't have enough time to move out of her path, and that's when the strangest thing happened. A blue light suddenly encompassed Jack, shrouding him in some sort of force field that caused Gwen ricochet backwards across the room, slamming into the crystal ball and in turn causing it to roll off its pedestal, and bounce across the floor. It tangled in one of the drapes, tearing it from its hooks, and bringing it down over the top of the witch, covering her completely.

It was quite an improvement on her looks.

Jack looked down into his hands to see Coco glowing.

"Did you do that?" he asked the toy.

He could have sworn a smile spread across Coco's face as the blue light disappeared from around him.

"Blue!? Why does he get blue when I get stuck with pink?" Gwen shrieked from somewhere underneath the drape. After some effort, she eventually managed to crawl out from under it.

It was only then that Gwen realised what had happened. As long as the magical muse was in Jack's possession she wouldn't be able to touch him, and she couldn't have that. Her face lit up like a creepy Christmas tree as a brilliant idea occurred to her. All that she needed to do was convince Jack to let her have the toy! However, after what that meddling Witch had told Jack in the Weevil city, she knew that he'd never willingly let it out of his grasp.

She needed time to think, which happened to be something Gwen didn't do very often. Walking towards one of the tables, Gwen picked up an hourglass filled with red sand.

"When the sand runs out, I'll be back my dear. I promise."

And with that final threat, Gwen swept dramatically the tower, closing the doors and locking them behind her. Her exit might have worked, had her camisole not gotten caught in the door. There was a distinct ripping sound, followed by a muffled shriek. The door opened again just a fraction, and the material was yanked all the way through the gap.

Then, he heard her footsteps fading away very fast, sounding much like she was running. Jack sighed, his mirth quickly fading as he and Coco were left alone to try and think of a way to escape the witch's grasp.

To be continued...