Thanks again for reading. I'm so pleased I managed to get the last chapters posted.

Thanks to E.L. James for giving me these characters to play with.

Chapter 6

As Christian and I leave our parents home, we stop to chat for a while.

"So how do you feel about bringing Ana for dinner tomorrow?" I ask tentatively.

"It'll be strange and I don't know how Anastasia will feel about it. She might be ok if she knows that Kate is coming too, sort of moral support."

"Kate says she is very shy"

"Mmm she is, so don't try and embarrass her if she does come will you?" He seems anxious.

I look at him speculatively. He seems different somehow perhaps not so self assured, vulnerable.

"Of course I won't, but Mia might. Are you ok? You seem a little bit off kilter."

"Come and sit in the car with me"

"Ok"

He points the key at his car and bleeps unlocked. It is a sleek black Audi R8 Spyder. And I know Christian loves it; next his helicopter I think it's his favourite toy.

We settle ourselves into the seats. For a while he sits there looking straight ahead, thinking. He turns the key in the ignition and presses some buttons on the consol. A piano piece is playing;

"Do you know what this piece is called?" he asks me quietly

"Yes, it's Phillip Glass's Metamorphosis. I've heard you play it"

"It helps me think and the five movement's suite my moods" I haven't a clue where he is going with this.

"Elliot, I'm in hell here. I-I don't know what I'm feeling for Anastasia and I'm a bit scared."

"Can you explain a bit?"

He sighs "you asked me on the plane, no told me on the plane, that you knew I wasn't gay"

"Yes, I remember. And you told me to mind my own business"

"Yes and I said that my sex life, or how I manage it would disgust you"

"I don't know that unless you tell me do I "

"Well I think it's time that I explained what I meant." he takes a deep breath.

I find that I'm holding my breath too.

"Go on I won't judge you."

"Well" he sighs "you know that I have problems with people touching me" I nod

"A few years a go I learned that there were women around who would stick to the boundaries, if you pain them enough. And you can imagine there are certain areas of my body where I don't mind being touched. But that has meant that what ever women I have had sex with there were no ties, no feelings, no commitment involved. I paid them to do a job, relieving me of my sexual needs. That's all"

"Hookers!" I'm amazed that he would be so careless.

"No, well yes I suppose, high class hookers, nothing off the street. They are booked through an agency "Escorts with benefits "you might say"

I really don't know what to say to him at this point.

"So what's your problem now? You've got a nice little girl friend who obviously knows your boundaries"

"We'll you see that's the problem. When I met her something happened to me. I couldn't get her out of my mind. So I said to myself, don't take offence, go on Grey do an Elliot fuck her and leave her."

"Thanks bro' "I say sarcastically, "So what happened?"

"So, having made my mind up I decided to fly down to Portland and go and see her, like on a date. I went to Claytons where she worked and on the pretext of buying something, I didn't even know what at the time I just wanted to see her again to see if I still felt the same, "he paused taking a deep breath

"Go on,"

"Well, I became breathless when she looked up at me from the checkout desk. She blushed, beet red, and said "Mr Grey" and for a second neither of us could say anything. I pulled myself together and we chatted, I bought some masking tape, that's all I could think of. Any way I asked her about the student news paper article she mentioned that Kate would have liked some photos. I don't know what came over me I told her I would do a photo shoot for them. Elliot, I don't do photo shoots!"

He was on a roll he had his arms on the steering wheel and his head on his arms. He sat up, rubbed his face with his hands and through his hair.

"So, I guess you did the shoot"

"Yes, at the Heathman, next morning. God, I kept catching her looking at me and every time our eyes meet she blushed. Well that really turned me on. So when the shoot was over I asked her to have coffee with me. Well I thought it's make or break time either fuck or a slap in the face. Stupid, .eh? Well all went well until I was walking her back to the car park and she tripped and nearly fell into the path of a cyclist, I grabbed her and next thing I know she is in my arms with a kiss me, kiss me look and I so wanted to; then the fog cleared. What was I doing? She wasn't just some cheap pickup for a one night stand. So, I told her that she should steer clear of me that I wasn't the man for her. She looked as if I had slapped her. I let her go and the rest as they say is history."

"And ever since you have more and more intense feelings for her, you can't get her out of your mind, feel lost when she is not there, dreaming a little. Feeling happy when she is with you?" he nodded, I put my hand on his shoulder, he stiffened but didn't shrug me off.

"Oh you poor smuck you're in love with her"

"Don't talk such fuckin' crap, I'm not capable of loving anyone I don't have that gene, I don't do hearts and flowers."

"And what if I told you that Ana is in love with you, would that make a difference?"

"Then she shouldn't no one should love me "

"Oh stop with pity party, you are such an adolescent at times. You put up barriers between me our folks, everyone all in the belief you are not worthy of us loving you. For fucks sake go and see Flynn perhaps he can make see how you are hiding in your past"

Christian looked at me his eyes wide "What are you a fuckin shrink now"

"No I'm not I'm your brother and I want to see you happy; you've got to give yourself a chance. Don't push Ana away, if you do you will love to regret it. I'm going home now, and if you don't come to dinner, with Ana, I'm gonna kick your ass. And as for the other stuff, in your position I probably would have done the same" and I climbed out of his car, into my own and drove away.

Christian POV.

I watched Elliot drive away and after a moment to gather myself together I followed him down the drive. I was so het up on the drive home I nearly crashed the fucking car on the I.5 to Seattle.

Phillip glass was still pounding through the speakers; a piece called Mad Rush. Its intense rhythm matching my mood. When I got back to Escala and parked the car I made my way in the elevator to my home. Taylor was there to meet me but seeing my face said nothing.

"run in the morning usual time. Er and I'll need to to drive Miss Steel and I to my parents for dinner tomorrow " I turned on my heel as he said "Very good ,sir" and when into my bed room and sat on the bed. Flopping back my head was in a spin.

What if Elliot was right, no Elliot a romantic fool. At least he seemed ok with my edited version of my true self. But that's not the reality of my life. Ana knows my true self, Ana knows about the BDSM life I live, lived until I met her that is. Did I want to give that up? Could I give that up? Compromise Ana said, could I have both worlds a submissive girlfriend? Perhaps I should talk to Flynn about this or perhaps Elena.

I get up off the bed and get ready for bed. I know I won't sleep so I go into the main room and to my piano and looking out over the dark skyline of Seattle. Just lights from the surrounding buildings relieving the darkness. Again I play Metamorphosis. It provokes my thoughts and feelings.

Having Flynn on one shoulder and Elena on the other was like having the devil on one side and an angel on the other and I couldn't decide which was which. What did I feel for ana? I really don't know. I know I feel at peace when she's there. When, on the odd times I've slept with her, I haven't had a nightmare. I've had really restful sleep waking up feeling good and relaxed.

And if she touches me on my naked chest, say during sex it's still painful but not as intense.

The girl has me spell bound and it's hard for me to name these feelings. I am beginning to feel that I can't let her go. Ok she knows about my life style, she has agreed to try. But even she doesn't know the true me what depths I have sunk to, to satisfy my needs. Only Flynn and Elena know that part of me.