I thought I should clarify, the different sounds between Aristel (Ellie) and Arizael (Anna), as a couple people have confused the names. Arizael's name is pronounced with a short 'A,' as a pirate would say "arr." The 'I' is brief and not heard when her name is spoken. The ending "zael" is pronounced as the end of Raphael's, so her name sounds like Arr-zai-ell. Aristel is simpler and pronounced as Air-iss-tell.

Every gesture,
Every move that she makes
Makes me feel like never before,
Why do I have this growing need
To be beside her...
~Phil Collins

Upon entering Ellie's home I found her asleep, lying curled against the arm of the couch. It crossed my mind how I'd almost never found her sleeping in a bed though she had one in her room connected to her kitchen. Only the light standing near her bookshelf was on, illuminating her spot on the sofa while the rest of the flat was left dark.

The cat perched on the bookshelf, it's tail curled around it's paws as it squinted at me. 'Bright,' it thought irritably to me upon catching glimpse of my grace.

"Hello," I replied simply before turning to Ellie's sleeping form.

I debated on waking her, though our earlier conversations of her rarely sleeping came to me, and instead, I decided on an alternative. I took a seat on the edge of the couch beside her and focused, closing my eyes.

When I reopened them a moment later I found myself sitting on a bench in an English garden on a sunny, warm day. Ellie sat in front of me in the grass, a large, black panther with yellow eyes lay on it's back beside her as she rubbed it's belly eagerly. The panther rolled and growled with enthusiasm at her scratching, squeezing it's eyes shut and curling it's lips in a frightening smile.

I stood up, tilting my head at the large animal, and Ellie looked up from talking sweetly to it. I noticed she didn't have her glasses on, and her hair was tied and braided down her back.

"Hey, Castiel," she exclaimed with a questioning look. "What are you doing here?"

"Hello, Ellie," I replied evenly, stepping over to her. "I didn't want to wake you."

"Wake me?" She knitted her brows together in confusion and looked around the garden before her eyes slid back to the panther lying beside her. Her eyebrows went up. "Oh. Oh!" She stood up and backed away from the animal. "Oh, my. This seemed normal a second ago."

I grinned slightly at her reaction and gestured to the panther. "Who is your friend?"

As I watched her, the braid in her hair seemed to simply fall away, her brown, messy locks flopping suddenly past her shoulders. A second later, I seemed to blink and her glasses were on her face. She was pushing them up nervously. The panther was also gone and in it's place, her cat rubbed contentedly against her leg. "Oh," I commented, finding the answer to my question. "He's not usually that large, it seems."

The cat turned to glare at me from between the girl's legs, tail held high, and spoke in a smooth, British accent. "You're not usually this slow."

I blinked and raised an eyebrow at him.

Ellie glanced around again, seeming to question everything with her eyes. "I'm asleep." It came out as a statement though she looked to me for an answer, and I nodded in return. "But you're real."

"I didn't want to wake you," I said again.

She nodded in understanding, unblinkingly. "I see," she managed out before breaking into a smile. "You're visiting me in my dreams, that's wicked. I wouldn't have minded you waking me up though. This is a tad bit edgy."

"I can wake you if you'd like."

She held up a hand. "No, no, it's fine. I'd been laying there a while anyway. I'd been reading Wizard's First Rule for a good four hours and my head started to hurt." She glanced around again. "I certainly wish I could do this all the time."

I put my hands in the pockets of my overcoat and took a step towards her. "Elizabeth, I do need to speak with you."

She turned to me from gazing around the garden, looking concerned. "About what? Is everything all right?"

Nodding once, I offered her a soft smile. "Yes. I came to tell you that I'll be leaving soon. Sam and Dean were successful." I paused as her eyes snapped up to mine, glistening with hope. "They stopped the Apocalypse."

"How?" Her voice was a whisper as she gazed at me wide eyed.

I was suddenly aware of the sound of waves and glanced about to find we were now standing on a beach, the sun dipping low in the sky, causing the horizon to glow with a peaceful, orange light. I turned back to her, only to stare in reverence as the dimming sunlight reflected beautifully in Ellie's dark eyes, and gave her hair a blazing outline.

"How?" She repeated the word more intently, leaning in slightly as if to be sure I knew what she was asking.

I blinked and shook my head slightly, remembering our conversation. "It was Sam," I said slowly. "He accepted Lucifer, but somehow he was able to regain control of himself. He sacrificed himself, throwing himself into the cage. He took Michael with him…" I trailed off, staring out to the horizon at storm clouds rapidly building, covering up the sun.

"Sam is…" Ellie's voice was harsh, as though her throat was dry. I looked back to her, trying to keep my face tranquil.

"He's gone."

"Oh." Her tone was morose and her eyes dropped to the ground before coming back up. "Dean?"

I looked to the sand, kicking at it absentmindedly. "Dean is fine. As fine as he'll be for a while at least." I looked out to the ocean and sighed irately. "He's so complicated and stubborn, he won't show any emotion over losing Sam if he can help it. He did a little bit at first and with Bobby's help, but an hour later he was almost right back to himself, just less adamant Bobby really isn't help either. It seems like he almost encouraged it this time. As soon as we made it back to his home he was going through a normal routine as if-"

"Castiel." Her voice was forceful but light, and I jumped at her interruption, realizing that I was rambling profusely. Pausing for a moment I noticed that my heart was beating abnormally, and I took a breath to calm myself.

"My apologies," I stated with a small sigh. "I suppose Dean is a sensitive subject. I'm not entirely sure why, I've always had an odd connection to him. I wish he'd be easier on himself."

"Is he often so emotionless?" She walked up closer to me, and took a lapel of my overcoat, tugging me with her as she continued on. Taking the hint, I stepped next to her and walked with her on the shoreline.

"He tends to sway in two directions," I replied. "More often than not, he shows nothing. No fear, no sorrow. The only way you can tell he's taking things roughly is by the way he treats himself. This time I suppose it was understandable. The three of them have all lost each other so many times, this time they were prepared for the worst for all of them."

Ellie was nodding thoughtfully, watching her feet kick up the sand. "He's been through a lot, it sounds like."

"You have no idea."

She managed a small smile and turned to look at me, squinting her eyes in the orange light. "So what happens now? Now that it's all over. Heaven's knackered, Hell is too, but what about you?"

I let out a small sigh. "That's what I wanted to speak to you about. My home, I'm sure, is in utter disarray, and I've decided that I should probably be the one to mend things. I am, after all, one of the main causes of," I took a breath and raised my eyebrows, "the current disfunction that the universe is suffering from."

Ellie stopped and turned to me, folding her arms across her chest. "Won't that be difficult? Won't the other angels be wary of you?"

"Yes, but I'm prepared for it. I know many of them will stand with me. I don't feel that my family should live in the tyranny that it does now. We archangels have always had oversee of the rest. Well, unless you've got my reputation at least. Michael and Gabriel used to lead us with velvety, iron fists long ago. Only they and Lucifer have even seen God, so they always had the superiority. Raphael, though, he has much power now. I'm sure he'll want to run things his way, but I can't continue to let him force the rest to bow down at his will. I'm the only one who can challenge him."

"Why you?"

I gave her a small smile as I attempted a joke. "Who else to challenge Tuesday but Thursday?"

Ellie didn't laugh. "Doesn't that mean he has more power than you though? Uriel was the Guardian of Wednesday and he almost had you if not for Arizael stepping in. I mean, you know how it goes, 'Monday's child is fair of face, Tuesday's child is full of grace, Wednesday's child is full of woe-'"

"'Thursday's child has far to go,'" I finished as I narrowed my eyes. "How did you know that?"

"Sunday school."

"No, I mean how did you know Anna's true name?"

Ellie stopped, almost tripping int he sand, before turning and staring past me for a moment, her face in a mild state of shock. "Uh, I… I don't know. I'm assuming I heard it from the others. I mean, I do hear a lot, you know."

I thought for a moment, considering her words as my eyes search the horizon. That could be the only real explanation, but for some reason I found it doubtful. Angels made a point to not speak a brother's or sister's name to each other once they'd passed on. It was considered saying it in vain. Something gnawed at the corners of my mind but I couldn't place the feeling.

"Castiel, is everything going to be okay?"

Her concerned question pulled me from my thoughts and I looked back to her chocolate eyes.

"Yes, Ellie," I spoke gently. "Nothing unfortunate will happen. Even if it does, I can promise you I will put a stop to it."

She grinned her second long grin for me, and nodded in understanding. "You'll still visit me?"

I nodded contentedly. "Yes. It may not be as often, but I promise I will when I can. Raphael my be more powerful than I, but I'm confident he will see reason." I let out a breath. "I should go. Speaking of this makes me want to get it over with."

Ellie nodded again and looked about her. Suddenly, the ground dropped out from under us to be replaced by fluffy, white clouds. It was as though we were standing on glass. Below us, I could hardly make out the ground, and all that surrounded us was blue and silent.

"What's it like to fly?" Her question came wistfully, and I looked to her to see her looking upward, a light breeze wisping strands of her hair about.

I grinned at her softly. "Exhilarating."

"I want to try it," she replied, her eyes snapping to mine again. "I always have."

"Well, now you can."

She smiled brightly and moved to hug me around the neck. "Thank you, Castiel."

I put my arms around her and squeezed her in return, grinning happily. "Call me Cas."

I opened my eyes and looked down to Ellie's sleeping form. Glancing to the clock on her bookshelf I noticed that only seconds had passed since I'd arrived at her home, and the cat still sat watching me.

'Slow.' it teased.

"You shouldn't mess about in people's dreams," I replied. It blinked and looked away from me, tail twitching.

Beside me, Ellie was stirring, letting out soft groans as she started to become conscious. I reached over and gently touched her temple, and her body relaxed into the pillows.

Gazing down at her calm face I felt a feeling come over me that I'd never felt before. Ellie Williams was such the opposite of Aristel. The trials of her human life had seemed to chisel away at the lively, curious, mischievous personality that was once my partner until she had become a soft, introverted reflection. Though at times I could see glimmers of Aris in those brown eyes, it was like they were two different people sharing the same soul. Both different in their ways of wisdom and love, yet each just as heartfelt and forgiving as the other.

Somehow, I now seemed to understand why it was that Aristel had fallen. Perhaps she was redeeming herself. Perhaps, this is how she wished it to be...

Speaking with Raphael didn't go as well as I'd planned. You probably know that. Most of what followed didn't go well either, but you probably know that also. As I said before, you probably know most of what took place up until my short-lived redemption, so let's skip everything you are already are aware of. I'm not proud of it, I don't like talking about it, I don't like thinking about it, and I'd rather just forget it ever happened.

There are important events, however, that you don't know.

Months went by and not once did I check on Sam and Dean, though the younger Winchester often prayed to me for answers about his release from Hell. I didn't know what to tell him. I didn't want him to know I'd tried saving him and failed. It had been on a whim, an arrogant one in defiance of my brothers. I hid from him because of it. When I did show, all new kinds of Hell broke loose. Those stories, I know you know of.

I wasn't lying to the brothers when I told them I'd much rather be on Earth than in Heaven. The battlefield was the last place I'd like to be, but in reality, being around Sam and Dean pained me. It reminded me only of the deception I was keeping from them, the mistakes I had made, and the lies that I was telling every day. In truth, there was only one place that I'd like to be.

There was never a moment in Ellie's time that she didn't hear the angels. When the war in Heaven began, the voices had only gotten worse for her.

At times, by mistake, she'd end up writing out full sentences of words she'd heard instead the ones she meant to put on paper and would have to erase until she got frustrated. At her job at the cafe, she'd sometimes mix coffee orders up because of the whispering in her head and would end up going home annoyed. Other times, she would find herself stopping in the middle of whatever she was doing, working or not, to listen to them upon hearing my name, fearing that something had happened to me. During those times she would pray silently, simply asking for me to check in with her, and I did whenever I had a moment.

Those times were hard for me. I knew she worried greatly, the possibility of me being in danger always in the back of her mind. The only times she felt relief were when I was with her, or when my own voice happened to leak into the constant radio of whispering in her head.

Out of everything I'd told her in the past, everything I continued to tell her, this was the first time that there were things I couldn't let her know. Things that would scare her, things that would hurt her. Things I was too ashamed of. She didn't know I was working with Crowley. Even if it wasn't to my liking. Just as Sam and Dean, I felt that if I told her, she'd think far less of me. Maybe lose faith in me. Maybe even hate me.

Crowley enjoyed mocking me for it. Similar to my connection with the Winchesters, he found my emotions towards Ellie to be "exceedingly laughable." Most of his teasing was harmless, and I let him throw his insults around as much as he liked, but without comment from me. As much as he thought he knew about her, I knew that his assumptions were wrong.

Walking along the courtyard of Notre Dame cathedral, a day after arguing with the notorious King of Hell, I found my mind in a whirl of confusion and frustration. Something about Elizabeth, how she'd known Anna's true name, had been bothering me for some time, though I'd pushed it to the back of my mind. It had surfaced again, after a visit to her when she'd mentioned Anna once more, commenting how she sometimes wished she'd chosen to return to Heaven so she'd at least know I was all right.

It gnawed at the edges of my mind, like an itch I couldn't scratch. In her state, Ellie should have no memories of her time in Heaven. Nothing of me, nothing of Arizael.

Arizael. Anna hadn't even had an inkling as to her true identity until she'd been hypnotized, but she had had visions. She'd known the sigil could banish angels for a short time if used, and she'd known how to draw it, even that it was to be done in blood. Perhaps the memory of our superior had leaked through to her subconscious. Then again, maybe it was something else.

The itch in my mind almost seemed to hurt and on a sudden whim of worry, I went to her home.

I appeared in Ellie's apartment in my spot by the window, only to find the entire place dark, the cat curled into a black, furry ball on the back of the sofa.

My troublesome pondering had left me greatly concerned, and it had been some time since I'd visited last. Over a month. I suddenly found myself cursing my neglect, and the dammed war above me in that I had just left her for so long.

I checked the kitchen and then her bedroom, only to find the sheets made up as they always were. Moving back out to the living room, I tried calming myself, telling myself that had something happened to her, I'd have felt it. I told myself to stop being ridiculous, but out of worry, I decided to wait.

Hours went by and I tried to keep my patience. The tugging of concern for Heaven was active in the back of my mind. Another itch I couldn't scratch, but I knew that there would be no less tribulation were I there. I had faith in Rachel and my other siblings who'd chosen to stay beside me. They could handle things. Still, I never felt anything less than guilt for my absence.

The sound of voices broke me from my thoughts, and I turned towards the door, seeing silhouettes through the blinds over the window. Ellie's voice was apparent and I felt relief come over me like a wave. I was hardly concerned with the second voice until she opened the door.

I froze in my spot at the window, my face suddenly feeling very warm. A hot tingle shot up through my chest, my knees felt weak, and I suddenly had the need to swallow. I wondered if this is what Dean meant when he said that Lisa made him feel "all funny" at times.

Ellie walked quietly into the room, placing her keys on the table beside the door, and switched on the light. A slender, velvety, red dress covered her from her chest to just below her knees, exposing her ankles on which she wore a pair of black dress shoes with high heels. Her dress was held up by thin straps that tied around the back of her neck, exposing her shoulders and most of her back. It hugged her perfectly. Her hair was pulled up into a lovely tail that seemed to be held up by two thin braids she'd looped around it numerous times. I took note that she wasn't wearing her glasses, and her brown eyes were outlined with a dark shade that made them seem to stand out from her face.

Ellie was speaking, and I'd missed what she said, but I was aware that it wasn't to me. I'd chosen to stay hidden when I'd heard the other voice, for fear of startling anyone. It was only now, when the man stepped through the doorway that I concerned myself with who he was.

He was young, perhaps a bit older than Ellie. Light skinned, with dark hair and eyes, and was built somewhat like Dean, though perhaps a bit thinner in the shoulders. He was dressed as extravagantly as she was, in a dark suit and tie and he was looking at her in a way that I didn't approve of. His thoughts were quite harmless, but there was an underlying intent beneath them that made my stomach sink. I didn't like that either.

"I found Johnson's sketches to be rather abstract," he was saying in a smooth voice, accent matching Ellie's northern English. "Not in a bad way, but not to my liking. There were too many harsh edges. Parteli's were much more my style. I don't think any of them were quite as attracting as your drawings though."

Ellie smiled brightly in a way I'd never seen before, and I tilted my head in observation. She'd never had that look about her around me.

"Thank you," she said through her smile. "I hope to go with you again some time, whether I'm featured there or not. It was very enjoyable."

The young man grinned broadly and nodded in approval. "As do I, it was rather fun. I hope to see more of this angel of yours, even if they are just hung in the cafe. He's quite the attractive character."

I blinked in confusion. Ellie smiled wider.

"He is, isn't he? Sometimes I think he's all that keeps me sane." She looked down at the floor for a moment, her face seeming more flushed than it had been a moment before. When she looked back up at the young man, her face was more serious, though she still held the hint of a smile. "Tonight was grand, thank you for taking me."

He grinned and nodded again. "Any time, Ell. I'm sure I'll see you at the cafe on Monday." Ellie nodded as he kept her gaze for a moment before leaning down and gently pressing his lips to her cheek. Somewhere inside me, I felt something grow dark.

A moment later, the young man was gone, and Elizabeth shut the door to her home before turning around to lean against it, a grin spread across her face. She let out a small laugh and tilted her head back, closing her eyes.

I quietly made myself visible, and stepped away from the window so not to scare her. "Hello, Ellie," I murmured, surprising myself with my morose tone.

Ellie's head came up and her eyes opened before a moment of surprise took over her features. "Castiel. How long have you been here?"

I lowered my eyes to look at the floor, the uncomfortable feeling still brewing inside me at the sight of the two of them. "A few hours."

She stood up straight, moving away from the door, concern covering her face. "A few hours? Cas, are you all right? Why have you been here so long?" She dipped her head a bit, trying to capture my eyes, but I found another spot on the carpet to study.

"I hadn't come for some time. I suppose I was irrationally worried about you."

Ellie blinked and tilted her head a bit, her brow furrowing. "Castiel, you don't have to worry about me. What could happen?" She turned her head again, still trying to look into my eyes. "Hey, why won't you look at me?"

Hesitantly, I pulled my focus back up to her face and let out a shallow breath. "Ellie, may I ask who that was?"

She tilted her head at me again, but her faced softened into curiosity. "Alec?" I nodded, looking down at the floor again, only for her to put a finger under my chin and gently lift my face back up. Her dark eyes were shimmering.

"He's a friend of mine," she said gently. "I was at an art gala with him tonight at a small gallery his mother owns. He comes into work a lot for tea and worked it out to put a couple of my drawings, one's of you, into one of the display rooms. Is that all right?"

Her last question was genuine, though a bit of impatience seemed to leak through her tone. She rose an eyebrow in an almost scolding manner and I felt a stillness come over me, somewhat drowning out the dark feeling that had been lingering. "Yes," I managed out. "I am happy for you." My voice was still empty, and I could tell she knew I wasn't satisfied.

"What is it?" She asked it in a coaxing voice as she lowered her hand from my chin.

I ended up looking straight back down at the floor, and she let out a resigned sigh. Hearing it, I turned my gaze back to her eyes apologetically trying to keep it there. "He kissed you."

Ellie blinked, her face flushing a bit. She swallowed and nodded slowly. "Yes, he did. Well, sort of."

"You liked it," I murmured.

Ellie flushed a bit more, tucking a loose strand of hair quickly behind her ear. She crossed her arms across her chest. "Yes, I did. Why?"

From somewhere, the dark feeling seemed to seep back into my chest and I clenched my jaw. "I didn't."

The woman in front of me took a step forward, looking up at me with questions dancing in her eyes as she craned her neck a bit to keep eye contact, but I wasn't looking at her. I kept my own eyes forward, staring now out the window as I tried to overcome the emotion that was stirring in the pit of my stomach.

"Did it bother you or something?" Ellie's voice was gentle and curious.

I swallowed and the dark feeling grew as I replayed the scene in my mind, seeing the way she'd been smiling at him, and the thoughts running through his head. The image of him kissing her made my face burn. I stayed silent, clenching my jaw still, and Ellie seemed to take it as an answer.

"Why did it bother you?" Her voice still held it's gentle, almost soothing tone, but the curiosity in it was more persistent.

I opened my eyes and, for the first time, tried to think of an answer to her question. Why did it bother me? My focus strained as I tried to make sense of it. I'd never felt this way before. Not about anyone. There were times when I'd felt something similar with Dean when I'd seen him with women, but it wasn't nearly this uncomfortable. I thought about what it was that bothered me most. Not seeing the young man kiss Ellie, or even his thoughts about her, but the fact that she had seemed to appreciate the attention almost immensely. She'd never looked that way in my company.

Something like fear crept over me at that last thought, and I realized something. I was afraid of losing her. Just as I had always been, from the day she fell to Earth and I'd taken it upon myself to protect her. Just as I was during these times of tribulation when I needed an airway to breath and regain my focus. Yet now, the fear of losing her was even more intense, to the point that I found others a threat? How long ago had my emotions run away with me? How long had I'd feared losing her in such an emotional sense?

I swallowed hard and lowered my eyes from her again. I knew my face held an image of shame before everything else. I had the sudden urge to vanish. To fly to Sam or Dean before she questioned me again, but before I could truly consider it, her fingers were under my chin again, lifting my face so she could look into my eyes questioningly.

"You're not jealous, are you?" A smile hinted at the edges of her mouth, and her eyes shimmered as they had before. The warm feeling I felt earlier seemed to return, and my knees suddenly felt wobbly again.

"Jealous?"

She studied me closely, standing on tip-toe to look intently into my eyes. I gazed back shamefully, but when her own eyes widened in near amazement, she spoke again, her voice light, not a bit of negativity heard. "You are jealous. Castiel, isn't that a sin or something?"

I swallowed and blinked morosely. "Envy is one of the deadliest sins, Ellie."

She placed a hand on my shoulder to steady herself as she lowered herself back onto her heels. "When did this start?"

I shook my head in consideration, trying to think. "I don't know. My bond to you is exceedingly strong. I'd thought it to be as deep as I could afford after all this time. These past months that I've visited so little have been harsh on me. During the past year I've barely even been able to help the Winchesters and…" I trailed off, trying to get my thoughts in order as pressure came in from every side. I took a breath and tried to speak more slowly.

"There's been so much happening at once. So much to balance together. I've been away from you because I've so much responsibility, but the entire time I've missed you terribly and worried about you every moment, just as I have Sam and Dean, even though you're in far less danger than they by comparison." I let out a shaky breath and avoided seeing Ellie's expression. "I don't know what it was just now. All I could think was that you never looked at me like that after all this time. I wanted you to. I wanted you to feel that way around me. I want that smile to be-"

I knew I'd been rambling again, as I often did when I was flustered. I still blamed my lack of understanding for humans, my foolish over thinking, and my constant second guessing of myself. I should have stopped myself before I'd gone too far. Even still, this time, I was thankful that I'd said the things I had, no matter how irrational or wrong they were.

All I knew about that moment was one second I couldn't stop myself from talking, and the next, she was kissing me.

To be continued. Writing the next couple chapters is going to be intense. Please review?