Tapping her foot, Serena waited outside of Blair's door. It was locked and Serena had the perfect plan to sit Blair down and talk to her, ease her pain. She knew Blair woke up around nine in the morning and it was almost quarter to nine, so she still had some time to think about the upcoming day.
Serena missed her old friend. She missed their late night Audrey sessions and their talks about boys or what lip shade suited their skin-tone the best. Now, all Blair did was walk around aimlessly then go into her room, lock the door and repeat the same routine the next day.
She knew both boys were going to sleep into the afternoon. She had told Nate about her plan and Nate was supportive, she assumed Nate would tell Chuck, so she had left him alone.
Hearing the rustling of the comforter and a few groans from the sunlight, Serena knew her friend was awake. So, she waited until the door opened to reveal a tired-looking Blair. She was rubbing her eyes and had no make-up on, but looked radiant nonetheless.
"Serena? What are you doing up, it's early?"
"I am up, B because we are going shopping!"
Serena squealed as she pulled out two silver credit cards and smiled behind them. Blair tilted her head and furrowed her eyebrows.
"You do realize, we are in a cabin right? And I don't think we'll find a Fendi or Ferragamo anywhere Serena." Blair giggled at her friend's innocent face, she appreciated the gesture she really did, but Serena could be clueless sometimes.
"So? There are plenty other stores to rummage through, and what do you need Ferragamo pumps for here?"
Blair held up one finger."First of all, Blair Waldorf doesn't rummage." Serena nodded trying to hold back a smile. "And secondly, I know we are in Aspen, but couture dresses, vintage pumps, here in Aspen there are always charity dinners, and especially Aspen because of the nature. If God forbid, Blair Waldorf was seen at a Save the Owls dinner, I would hope she would be wearing something to do her justice."
"Okay, you have officially lost it, we're going now, get ready."
"Fine." Blair bit out. "But if you must know, I lost it a while ago when I fell into that damn lake! Give me fifteen minutes."
The door slammed behind her, A Blair Waldorf tradition.
Fifteen minutes passed, and as Blair said she would, she came out of her room looking refreshed and ready to go, in a black, tweed coat and burgundy tights finished off with her smallest black heels. She would not be breaking anymore ice.
"Shall we?"
Blair held out her arm to Serena who gladly locked her arm into hers.
"We shall."
Four hours later after buying up all of downtown Aspen's finest clothing, Blair and Serena sat in a local restaurant enjoying a small lunch.
Blair ordered a salad with a light Italian vinaigrette and Serena settled for a bowl of chicken soup with a small piece of bread.
"That's all you're going to have, B?"
Her deep blue eyes showed concern and Blair just waved her off.
"Yes, I'm not even that hungry, all this stress makes me feel full and sick all of the time."
"Talk to me, B."
Serena reached out her hand and Blair reluctantly took it from across the table. Serena's eyes urged her to speak and so Blair gave in.
Clearing her throat, she began. "It's just so hard. All of my feelings are going haywire, and no it's not hormones, S." Serena smiled and let her continue."For a while when I was in the water, a part of me didn't want to be rescued, a part of me just wanted to not feel the hurt anymore." Her throat was closing up and tears were welling up in both of their eyes.
"I-I just wanted to make everything easier for all of you. Bringing me along anywhere is basically bringing excess emotional baggage, and I know that. I don't know, and when Chuck," she closed her eyes," When Chuck pulled me out, I-I was so delirious, I think I called him Nate, he must hate me for that, it wasn't intentional at all. After I was back in the cabin, he helped me out of my wet clothes by the fireplace and we just embraced each other, no questions asked."
Serena was wiping tears from her eyes and was rubbing circle on Blair's hands letting her know she understood and was there for her.
"These past days, I keep thinking about what would be different, if he hadn't found me. If things would go back to the way they used to be like. But also, you know how they say when you're about to die, you're life flashes before your eyes?"
Serena nodded and Blair took this as a sign to continue.
"Well, it is somewhat like that except mine was so short and you only see the parts where you felt the most emotion, good or bad."
Serena paled knowing what Blair meant by that. She had seen a fair share of Blair's emotional memories beginning from when she returned from boarding school in junior year and now this.
"It was strange because it started with memories of you and me during our preteen years; we were so happy and carefree. Then it went to when you left, I didn't know what I had done wrong to make you leave, but you know the rest. Strangely enough, there weren't any flashes of Nate because I never felt any type of emotion except annoyance or hatred towards myself. The ones with Chuck", she closed her eyes again and her lip quivered," were so overwhelming, I felt the passion and thrill for the chase all over again. But then it was all gone and you get that grim reminder that it would be the last time you remember you see those moments and you are sent to cold, miserable fate."
The silence between them was deafening and Blair realizing the awkwardness stabbed a piece of lettuce and began chewing it politely. She took her napkin and dabbed her eyes, pretending like their whole conversation had never occurred.
"I'm glad you talked to me about it."
Serena dabbed her eyes also, and offered her napkin to Blair who graciously took it. All of this compassion was making Blair think more. Her head lifted up to meet Serena's.
"We've really come a long way, haven't we?"
Blair looked nostalgic waiting for Serena's reply. Serena instantly glowed feeling Blair's acceptance towards her.
"We did, and Blair…I really am sorry for leaving, I was just so lost, and didn't know what to do, what place to go, how to move on from what I had done."
"I know the feeling." Serena looked down knowingly, but Blair reached over and grasped Serena's face. "Hey." She positioned her face to meet hers. "I forgive you, you came back. You helped me, when I couldn't help myself. You were there for me when I needed someone that wasn't going to hurt me or screw me over. You're my best friend, we're sisters."
Serena gave Blair a watery smile.
"I love you, B" Serena whispered through her tears.
A single tear made a path through Blair's blush and she smiled back.
"I love you too, S."
But while in their most emotional embrace, Blair couldn't help but think about Serena would never know the feeling of telling someone those precious words, and never hearing them back.
AN: I am aware that most likely there is a Fendi or Ferragamo in the wealthier part of Aspen but let's just keep it this way. Thank you for reading the chapter, if you review I might be able to finish the next one in the next couple of days. Your reviews and opinions motivate me. If you haven't already read my newer stories, please do and let me know what you think about them. Thanks again. Love you all. -Emily.