Search For The Devil's Arms

I'm bored, I wrote another funny thingy. Its probably not that funny, EXTREMELY WEIRD, so here:

In this one, the main characters are Abyssion and the spirit of Nebilim constantly near Abyssion on his search for the Devils Arm.
Abyssion's search for the Devil's Arms, takes him to places he doesn't wish to be. The Dark Lord Nebilim calls upon him to go where no man should go...

ABYSSION- Ok, I didn't find anything but this key, and it points me... HERE? Oh no, not here, anywhere but here!

NEBILIM- You Must... Go In... To Revive and Receive my Power!

ABYSSION- No Ultimate Power is worth going into the very bowels of Hell! Not even you, the Ultimate Darkness, was able to withstand its evil aura.

NEBILIM- Go In! I Sense one of the Devils Arms... I know of this Place's Horrors... But My Power Must... Be Received. Now GO!

ABYSSION- Alright... (Walks into the Wal-Mart, looks around for hours.) This is gonna take forever!... THERE'S ONE!
(He see's Disaster, the Devils Arm Kendama, reaches for it, then someone else grabs it) Hey, what the Hell!

GUY- What?

ABYSSION- I was going to get that!

GUY- Well, ya snooze, ya looze!

ABYSSION- But you don't even know what it is!

GUY- Yeah I do, it's a Kendama. I'm gonna buy it at this low price, and then sell it for a higher price!

ABYSSION- Hmm, that's very evil... I like i... Wait a minute; you think it's a normal kendama! You have no idea what powers you are messing with!

GUY- It's not like you can use it... unless you're a HALF ELF!

(Nebilim controls Abyssion for the moment)

ABYSSION/NEBILIM- How Dare You... Call Me By That Race... We Are The Most Powerful...

(Wal-Mart security grabs him, Abyssion's in control now)

ABYSSION- What the Hell!

GUY- You Are A Half Elf! What human can change his voice so eerie, and change his hair from dark to red?

ABYSSION- ...I'm a magician?

WM COP- Sorry! But did you read the sign out front! No shirt, no shoes, No Half Elfs!

ABYSSION- But I'm not a Half Elf, I'm just better than all of you...

ABYSSION/NEBILIM- In Fact... I Am of a power Far Superior to that of your Mighty Elfs, Gods and Angels. Now, Hand me the Disaster, or suffer the fate that is...

(Guard throws him out into the streets)

NEBILIM- ...Those guys are asses!

ABYSSION- Dammit, how many times have I told you not to do that!

NEBILIM- You, command me! No one shall...

ABYSSION- Well it doesn't matter, that Devils Arm is out of our reach.

NEBILIM- What are you talking about! If he is a follower, He Will Give it to You!

ABYSSION- How many times do I have to tell you that? You can't control people by them touching it alone, they have to be... I dunno, special. But, this won't be the last we see of the Disaster, I'll tell you that!

NEBILIM- Why don't you just beat him up and steal it! You have no pride!

ABYSSION- Shush, the key is pointing to a new Devils Arm... and you won't like where it points to next.

(Abyssion goes to the nearby Circuit City and buys a 'Computer', they go back to whereever they live in Flanoir and go onto the internet.)

NEBILIM- What is this Device! It is of a Higher Power than me!

ABYSSION- Of course not my master, but apparently this device is the portal to the 'Internet'. The Master of vital information. See, like this:

(They see a dancing banana you see on a video singing IT'S PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!)

NEBILIM- That Banana... Defies ME, No one shall...

ABYSSION- Ok, lets see now. I'll type in Devils Arm... nothing yet... How about... Diablos...nope...Nebilim... WAIT, someone is auctioning it!

NEBILIM- Buy that weapon, we'll be one step closer to my Revival!

ABYSSION-... I keep on betting gald, but someone keeps betting more!

NEBILIM-... ARrrrrrrrrrrrrrhhhhggggg!

(Enters computer, comes out of another one, controls the person biding)

Someone/NEBILIM- Fool, do not think you are worthy enough to receive my powerful weapons! I've chosen my vessel! You are as useless as you are ugly! God you are ugly!

(Smashes head into screen, Nebilim returned to Abyssion)

ABYSSION- Excellent, I won the Nebilim!

NEBILIM- Ah, my finest of weapons. Now, onto the next...

ABYSSION- This is becoming a inconvenience. Damn... If it took this long to get one, by the way it'll take two weeks for it to be delivered, imagine how long it'll take for the rest. Especially for those in the horrid land of Sylvarent!

NEBILIM- Don't worry, you have all of your life span to look. Then you'll die, than I'll move on to the next possible vessel. Huah ah ha.

ABYSSION-... What?

NEBILIM- What?

ABYSSION- What did you say...

NEBILIM- I didn't say anything.

ABYSSION- Yes you

NEBILIM- NO I DIDN'T!

ABYSSION- Whatever.

One week later

ABYSSION- About damn time it came to me, woops, slippery ice.

(Slips and falls, then out of no where, Lloyd and the others come to him)

LLOYD- Are you ok.

ABYSSION- Augghhh, yes... Is that the Evil Eye?

(Looks, and grins.)