The Duke of Weselton's eyes shifted around under a heavy cloak that he was wearing to "disguise" himself at Arendelle's most shady and notorious pub. This wasn't a place where he would normally like to find himself, but when one was plotting revenge against the kingdom, desperate actions needed to be taken.

Who knew that ordering for the queen to be assassinated might end up backfiring on you?

He sat down at what he prayed was the right table, where a small group of thugs was seated.

"You the one who wanted us?" one of them asked.

"That depends," said the Duke. "Are you the ones who agreed to kill the queen?"

"Kill the queen?!" they went, sounding shocked. "We thought you were the guy who was looking for a personal grocery shopper!"

The Duke pulled a small crossbow and killed all of them.

"Wrong table," he said with annoyance. He hated to get his hands dirty, but at a place like this, people weren't likely to report a murder.

"Hey, bald guy," he heard a voice whisper. "You the one who wants the queen dead?'

"Indeed I am," he said with an evil grin. "Would've been nice for you to notice me before I had to murder those guys."

He let out a small groan as he sat himself down in a seat that was a bit too tall for him.

"So," he said. "You already know what I want. So let's talk about how we're going to do it."

"I'm not so sure about this job," a thug with a hook for a hand said. "Didn't you already hire two guys to murder the queen before?"

"Yes, and they would've done so, too," said the Duke bitterly. "If only Hans hadn't been there to come to her rescue."

"I'm still confused by that," said one of the thugs, scratching his head. "I mean, he wanted the queen dead, right? Why risk his life to save her skin if he was just gonna kill her later on anyway?"

"We aren't here to talk about that," said the Duke, starting to lose patience already with this lot.

"Also, he stopped her from killing your assassins," another thug observed. "Why the hell did he do that? He could've twisted the story around, made it sound as though she had murdered them in cold blood instead of out of self-defense, and boom! He gets a dead Elsa."

"He didn't want her dead yet," said the Duke. "He had to marry her sister first."

"Yeah, but then he almost got away with telling everyone that he and Anna had said their wedding vows," the hook-handed thug said. "Even though there was NO ONE around to witness the marriage, he was still able to charge Elsa with high treason and sentence her to death."

"Which also didn't make sense!" another thug chimed in. "How can you charge the freaking QUEEN with treason in her own kingdom?!"

"Enough of this!" yelled the Duke. "Are you boys going to help me out or not?"

"That depends on what the plan is," said a thug with a paper bag on his head. "And on the price, of course."

"Everyone in the kingdom is talking about Elsa's upcoming marriage to Prince Hans," the Duke began explaining. "This will be an ideal time to pull off her demise."

"Isn't he in prison for life?" asked a thug with an arrow in his head.

"I thought Elsa was a lesbian," said another.

"Do either of those things matter?!" yelled the Duke, wondering if he should just forget the whole thing and use his crossbow on these guys. "Now Queen Elsa is moving along quickly with the wedding. It's said to happen in a matter of days."

"A matter of days?!" yelped a thug with a fish on his head, sounding alarmed. "Isn't Queen Elsa on her time of the..."

All of the thugs gasped in unison.

"Let's get out of here!" the hook-handed thug cried out, and they all left the pub before the Duke even had a chance to thinking about pulling out his crossbow.

"Cowards!" he yelled. "You call yourselves lowlifes! I'll find lowlifes that are ten times lower than you are! You hear me?!"

While the Duke was busy hopping up and down and throwing a hissy fit, Queen Elsa was busy planning out her big wedding day. Of course they were going to have soup, roast and ice cream, but she had yet to choose a kickass band. She would've asked Hans what he thought, but he was an idiot who was just hiding behind the table and saying "Yes!" to everything Elsa suggested.

"So, Hans, you gonna invite any of your brothers to our wedding?" Elsa asked casually as she wiped the blood off of the tip of a feather pen which she had just used to kill a servant who was humming way too loudly for her liking.

"I doubt any of them would want to come," he whimpered. "But maybe we should have the wedding after your..."

Elsa cracked her knuckles together.

"Never mind!" Hans squeaked. "Whatever you want to do, we'll do, okay?!"

"You really are boring, you know that?" said Elsa has she pulled a cookie out of a jar and jammed it into her mouth...and then spat it right back out.

"SON OF A BITCH!" she said in a disgusted voice. "This is AWFUL! I've told my kitchen staff that I HATE raisins, but do they listen?! NOOOOOOO! Pardon me, Hans, but I have to quickly go kill one of my cooks."

She went off to that, and returned five minutes later with some poor bastard's head on a spike.

"So, Hans, where were we?" she asked. But there was no answer. Hans had run off.