Someone on here, I don't remember who, had a dream...and this is the result. This is long overdue.

Rice, Rice, Erik

It was a Wednesday evening, and Christine was being a whore—like always. She had Erik cornered with a blindfold and reddi-whip. Just then, a rumbling sound echoed throughout the cavern.
"I'm hungry," Erik whimpered.
Christine giggled. "That's what the reddi-whip is for," she said almost seductively. Erik's stomach let out another growl.
"Nah, I'm in the mood for Chinese," Erik said.
Christine's face fell.
Suddenly, Erik pushed pass her. "Not just Chinese—Rice!" Erik began to sing."Rice is the world! Rice prevails the song! Forever going on, as we sing along!"

"Not this again." Christine rolled her eyes. "You know what it does to you. Remember?"

"Rice!" Erik spawned a bowl of rice and rubbed it against his face. "This is rice! Best food in China—for a low price! It is my favorites of foods to be precise! Oh, I love you, Rice." He stared at the bowl thoughtfully.

"Owwww! It hurts my head!" Erik whined. "Ricey ricey rice! Rice, I will be fed!"

"I guess if you can't beat 'em, join 'em..." she sighed. "Rice is quite fluffy and white to my liking. Oh, god, here comes Carlotta dressed like a viking!" Christine sang.

"Yes, it is I. And I 'ate my 'at, but this 'bout rice. You think you can sing ballet brat?" Carlotta smirked and blew the phantom a kiss.

"Oh, Carlotta, it's not your horned hat! It's your voice for heavens sake! The sound—crossed between a plumping repair and a dying cat!" Christine sang back, flashing gang signs with her hands.

"Rice is the world! Rice prevails the song! Forever going on, as we sing along!" Erik bellowed, while stuffing his face ungracefully with rice.

"What are you talking? My voice flows! Your part is silent, you little toad!"

There was a loud crashing sound from the other side of the lair. All three turned, to see Raoul standing there.

"Oh, shit! What is this?" Raoul sang nervously. "I was only looking for a place to take a piss!"

"What are you doing here, Raoul?" Erik growled, grabbing his lasso. "You are the biggest fool!"

"No, no Erik. If I might, I think it is a great time for some rice!" Christine jumped between Raoul and Erik, holding up a bowl of rice. "Rice is the world! Rice prevails the song! Forever going on, as we sing along!"

"She's right you, know," Raoul said. "Phantom, Carlotta, Christine, hello."

"Why are you here?" Christine asked all flustered.

"Vicomte, how nice to see you! Christine's voice is out of tune," Carlotta greeted.

"This isn't about us, me or about you! It's about rice—tried and true!"

"Rice is larger than life!" Erik chanted. "Rice, so white! We shall recite..."

All four singing together: "Rice is the world! Rice prevails the song! Forever going on, as we sing along!"

"Bye-bye and ciao! I'm really leaving. Some of that rice, I be retrieving." Carlotta waved her hand. "Goodbye toad, Vicomte, and phantom..."

Erik and Christine became involved in a giant bowl of rice as Carlotta walked off.

"You know, rice sucks," Raoul muttered.

The two looked up and stared at him incredulously. "Rice. Does. Not. Suck." Erik growled. "It has no lips!"

"Erik—what?" Christine raised an eyebrow at the phantom. "What was that?"

"I'm trying that humor thing, you said to do..."

"Yeah... Just stick to your emo/anger thing, kay?"

"Kay." Erik agreed. He hung his head. "Can we beat up the fop?"

"Now, that's the phantom I know!"

"Guys, can't we talk about this?" Raoul asked nervously as they backed him into a corner.

"Rice does not suck, fop! Rice is the world! Rice-"Erik sang angrily.

"I know, I know...Rice prevails the song-" Raoul interrupted.

"Fop, shut up! You don't sing! You don't do that!"

"Yeah, Raoul!" Christine exclaimed. "Shut up!"

"Christine, dearest," Erik said with a sly smile as he stared at Raoul.

"Yes, Erik?"

"Do you still have that blind fold?"

Rice, rice, Erik! Do do do-doot doot do do!

-E.O.L.