Theme: Small
In which Ren wonders if things will start looking up.
A/n: Listen to the song Looking up by Paramore, Hate on me by Jill Scott, Airplanes pt2 by B.O.B and Eminem, or All the right moves by One Republic for some ambience while you read.
Ren felt smaller than usual in his larger than life new bedroom.
Even though he had been living there for about three weeks he just couldn't get used to how big everything was. In fact because of how large the house and everything in it were, Ren felt intimidated just being in any given room. Frankly he wanted to just run and hide from it all, but that was hard to do in a place that seemingly lacked small spaces. Ren tried to remedy this by sitting in the corners of his room with his knees tucked to his chest (as he was going now) and thinking about home.
His old home that is.
In that corner every day he would imagine himself back in Gunma and think of all the good times he had while he lived there. There were a lot of good memories for him to hide in while his parents unloaded their things from boxes downstairs. For example there was the time that he Ruri and Shuu-chan (though he didn't like being called by that old nickname anymore) had gone to a summer festival and he kept trying to catch the goldfish, but it didn't work. Shuu-chan and Ruri helped him out in the end, and he felt loads better.
However today, he wasn't able to delve into those positive memories because he finally was reminded of the not so sunshine and rainbows one he had been avoiding. Ren knew that it was going to happen eventually, but he was hoping that he could have repressed them for a tad bit longer; possibly until he was so immersed in his new school that he had no time to think about baseball of all things.
But he hadn't been that lucky.
His father had been unpacking things that morning during breakfast when he had come in with a symbol of the things he was trying so desperately to forget: his old pitching target. Ren nodded meekly when his father asked if he wanted him to set it up, unable to tell his dad that he was truly thinking about giving up baseball forever for his own safety.
So there he sat in the corner that afternoon thinking. The memories that came to him were not pleasant in any way. The first that came was of when he had been walking through the school one afternoon when he passed by a classroom. For a moment he thought that he not only heard voices coming from inside, but also his name. Ren peeked in to see and he saw Hatake along with two other members of his team. The moment he heard his name again he moved away from the door so he could no longer see inside, but he could still hear. Ren heard them talk about how much they wished Shuu-chan (though they weren't on given name basis with him so they called him Kanou) was the ace, but that wouldn't happen since he held monopoly on the position. Hatake was the one who brought up the scariest part of their conversation.
Hatake mentioned, albeit briefly that maybe the answer to getting Shuu-chan the ace number was to break their current ace's arm so that he would never dare to pitch again. It was all his fault, Hatake had insisted, so it was perfectly alright to do something that drastic. Ren noted that the three of them talked in angry tones, not even hushed as if they knew that even if they were caught talking like that no one would really punish them. Ren knew thit to be true since he knew that most of his team felt the same way.
That was the second memory that came; how everyone just up and ignored him. If they had known how much it hurt him or Ren had gone to an adult they all would have defended themselves by saying that they weren't bullying him, in fact they were leaving him alone which was the complete opposite of bullying, right? It didn't matter that in team meetings when everyone else got to give their opinions on a specific topic his was blatantly ignored or that when he was paired up with someone for one on one practice that someone would leave him and become the third man in another group.
The thing that hurt the most about the ignoring was that Shuu-chan did it too, and this made Ren even sadder. Wasn't Shuu-chan supposed to be his friend? Before he could let himself wallow in self pity over that thought he reminded himself that Shuu-chan had every right to hate him since he didn't deserve the ace number and Shuu-chan did.
Of course it came full circle when after the last game of his middle school career Hatake cornered him. They had lost badly and though Ren saw it as all his fault what little sense of reason told him that if the others worked with him just a little bit the circumstances would have been a touch bit different. If Hatake had given him some signs and the team worked as a team instead of a united force against their pitcher they wouldn't have won, but maybe their loss wouldn't have been so dramatic.
That day Hatake had taken him by the wrist them moment after they had reluctantly congratulated the other team. Ren remembered that as he was dragged off no one from his team even looked back. He had called out to a few of them, but as usual they all ignored him. Hatake had finally gotten him into the clubhouse when he threw him to the floor. Ren remembered landing on his back and then scooting back into a corner as his catcher had advanced on him explaining all the misdeeds he had committed against their team as a pitcher.
Suddenly, Ren shuddered at how vivid the memory was, Hatake snatched his right arm and calmly explained that he wanted him to quit baseball forever and that if he ever played again he would break both of his arms, a leg, and possibly his nose for even daring to hold back another team like he had Mihoshi.
All the while Hatake said it with a smile.
Ren shook himself out of that memory, rubbing his shoulder. One thing he wished for after when he moved away was that he would be able to keep his promise with Hatake. He knew that his old catcher was serious, and even moving away wasn't enough to keep him safe if he so chose to play baseball again. All he had to do was make it through school and ignore baseball one hundred percent. Maybe he could take up a new sport or club?
However there was one problem to that plan, and that was a promise that he had made to Shuu-chan before he left. It wasn't exactly a promise he had agreed to, but Shuu-chan being Shuu-chan it was forced on him. In the snow Shuu-chan told him that he needed to stick with baseball no matter what he did and if Ren didn't he would never be forgiven. This confused Ren to no end since it had seemed that Shuu-chan had been ignoring him along with the rest of the team.
Maybe his plea was out of guilt?
Either way, baseball or no, Ren knew that his life was going to be different at the school he was enrolling in. what was it called again? Nishiura. The only thing he hoped for was that things got better, because he was tired of feeling so small.
You all know the drill by now. Give me a theme and pairing and I'll write you a drabble too. All you have to do is ask. LOL!