Look who's back!!!
No, I haven't died or fell off the face of the universe, but life's been really hectic lately and I just don't have as much time to write as I would like. Hopefully the next chapter won't take me as long, but I'm not makeing any promises. (been there, done that...) Don't worry, though, for I will continue writing this fic and have no plans to stop writing.
As always, I do not own anything of the HMC univese so don't sue me, please.
And now that that's taken care of, I would like to dedicate this chapter to avidlydreaming for actually sparking me to write again by her review. Thank you so much. You totally rocked my world!
Ok, I've rambled long enough. Happy reading and for all those who are reading this or are so kind as to review,
I am forever greatful.
Chapter 6.
Another gust of wind cascaded through the balcony, stirring up the soft moonlight hair and causing it to gleam in the darkness. The silhouette to whom it belonged though, did not even register that her hair was in disarray. Instead, her unyielding eyes continued to stare blankly at the vast expanse before her, never really seeing what was there. As the wind ceased once more, her hair silently settled back to cover her neck and shoulders, letting her soft outline yet again become almost unidentifiable in the thick obscurity of night. Before her, the courtyard was silent, the other inhabitants residing inside the palace having the sense to be in bed at this hour.
Not Sophie, though. Sleep had now tilted the scale, becoming more of a burden than a necessity. To her, the night was more of a comfort, a new world that dulled the ache that had engulfed her life for the last few days. It was at this time that she felt like she could let her mask slide without the annoyance of other people finding her. It was here, in the dead of night that she could just bask in the silence and forget. Here everything was fine.
And if she kept telling herself that, it may just come true…
No matter how much she tried to block them out of her life, those images would be forever implanted in her psyche, coming to the surface at every opportunity. What happened on that day would haunt her forever.
The day that…
She still couldn't believe that it had only been a month… exactly one month tonight that she had woke up in this place so far from home and learned the truth. At first, she didn't want to believe it, didn't want to believe that he was really gone.
He was the great wizard Howl, for Heaven's sake. He triumphed over impossible odds before, always coming out victorious. That's what he did! He would laugh in the face of death just for the heck of it!
But not this time…
Death had grabbed him by the neck and dragged him back down, proving to be the victor in the end.
How she missed him. The way the sound of his laugher would cascade down upon her, engulfing her in pure happiness. The way that she always felt safe and secure in the shelter of his arms. The way he…
Sophie shut her eyes tightly, trying desperately to stop the tears behind her eyes from falling.
She had cried enough already, the feeling of the unshed tears always present behind her large, brown eyes.
"Why can't I pull myself together?" Sophie muttered, lowering her forehead to the cold wood of the banister.
She had believed it would get better as time went on, but it had only gotten worse. Especially these last few days, it seemed that she couldn't go one second without thinking about him, causing the whirl-wind of hurt to break through to the surface over and over again. It was as if she was plagued with it, his name and loving face haunting her every waking moment and causing a new flow of tears to flow down her face.
Sophie had never felt this utterly broken in her life. Even after her father died, it was no comparison to the feeling of never seeing Howl's goofy grin again. It was as if her heart was ripped in two, leaving a dull, heavy stone in its place. Who knows how long it was since she had a decent night's sleep, or when she had eaten last as well. It all didn't seem to matter anymore.
Nothing mattered…
Slowly, Sophie's eyes fluttered shut; her form still slumped against the dark railing. Taking in a few deep breaths, Sophie just stood there, basking in the coolness of the night. Another gust of wind rushed past her, the force of it raising her hair and tugging at her simple blue dress.
As she stood there, a figure slowly walked the halls, his mind in deep thought. The slight echo of his footsteps bounced off the silent walls, sounding louder than it really was in his ears. As he turned the corner, he was surprised to see her, slouched over the balcony, the slight rise and fall of her shoulders the only sign that she was real. He stood there for a moment, not knowing what to say.
"Sophie," he tentatively whispered, extending his hand out in front of him, then thinking better of it and letting it drop to his side once more.
Slowly, she turned around, her face rising just a bit so that she could see him clearly in the darkness. In a way, he almost didn't recognize her. The soft smile that had always been present on her lips had been chipped away; her sparkling eyes now dull and puffy. There were dark purple circles under her eyes, a clear contrast to her nearly translucent skin. The only thing the same about her was the silver hair, slightly moving in the breeze.
"What are you doing out here?" he softly asked her, taking one step towards her. She just stared at him for a while, then slowly turned her head back to stare at the silent courtyard underneath.
"I guess I should ask you the same question," Sophie's elbows were propped against the banister, her eyes never faltering from their fixed position below as she spoke.
"Why don't you come inside, Sophie," he asked gently, reaching his hand out to her once more. She didn't take it, though, and slowly blinked, not moving from her pose.
"And why should I?" her words were soft and mumbled, almost whispered. "Would it really matter if I was in there or not?"
"Of course Sophie, you…" he passionately started, then was silenced by the force of her gaze meeting his. He was overcome by the intensity of it; as if by looking strait into those dark, brown pools, he was able to understand everything, even the distinct throb of mind numbing grief that clasped around her bleeding heart. In that one instance, it was suddenly overwhelming, as if the weight of it all was crushing him as well. Quickly, he looked away, not knowing what to say. Silence once again surrounded them, the whole world seeming to hold its breath as not one sound echoed in the darkness.
"You are not alone, Sophie, there are people here that care about you, that want you to be happy." Cautiously, he raised his eyes, but she had already looked away, resuming her silent vigil.
There was a long stretch of silence, both not knowing what to say. Finally he let out a heavy sigh in defeat. Casting one final glance towards the unmoving women next to him, Justin started to walk back the way he came, his head bowed and hands thrust into his pockets.
Soon, his footsteps ceased, the night becoming quiet once more.
…….
It did not take long for the small reign of self control that kept her on her feet to wane and shut down, as she stood on that balcony, now fully alone.
Once she was sure that no one would hear her, Sophie slid down to the floor, her legs pulling up against her chest as she hid her face in the many folds of her skirt. For a few minutes, she just sat there, her breaths coming in short shutters, letting the pent-up emotions that she so carefully hid behind her porcelain mask breach the surface. If she still had any tears left to shed, the intensity of her sobs were a clear sign that she would have been crying by now.
What was wrong with her? Why couldn't she pull herself together? Why couldn't she just go with Justin and move on with her life?
Another thundering sob echoed through her being. How in the world could she even think that she could get on with her life? The pain was still too fresh, too close at hand. They always say that holding on was unhealthy…
But could she really forget him?
In a way, she envied the stark numbness of before, when she didn't have to think about things like this. The numbness was easier. Even if she was sacrificing the happy memories as well as the horrific, it was better to forget, because in truth, she was afraid to remember. She was afraid to remember the good times, knowing that the bad were just around the corner. No matter what she did, there was no way to escape from the present, a world now filled with immeasurable pain and stark loneliness. At times, the hurt would be too much to bear, making her vainly wish that she had never stepped foot in that moving castle, never met Howl or Calcifer or anyone else for that matter. Vaguely, she would fantasize on how different their lives would have been: whether they would have been happy without her…
Whether they had lived…
But even if she acted like she wanted to wish it all away, Sophie would never give up the memories that she had shared there. Though it was painful to brood on them, there were happy memories at that homey castle. There were times when she smiled, when she was fully content to just bask in the moment and the overwhelming feeling of warmth that she felt around her. Not for anything would she give up the memories of her little adventures around the castle, cleaning and whatnot. There was nothing to offer that could ever come close to the feeling of love she had felt there. The feeling of strong arms encircling her, holding her close. The slight tickle of his breath on her neck as…
Stop it. You must think about something, anything else but him…
Her mind screamed at her to stop, trying to stop the whirlwind of emotion to engulf her once again. It was too late, though. Her mind had already crossed the line into that forbidden space.
"Why did you have to die." She whispered brokenly, not expecting an answer. She didn't dare say his name; it was too painful. New tears formed and spilled over, causing Sophie to burry her face into the folds of her skirt once more. Sophie shook her head back and forth involuntarily,
Sophie felt totally and utterly alone. Everyone she had ever cared for, everyone that she had ever loved was gone and she was never going to see any of them again. There was still no word from the flower shop. As each day war on, the sense that no one was left of her make-shift family but her was getting stronger and stronger. Countless times, Prince Justin had tried to get her to go back to Market Chipping, if only because he believed that spending time away from the castle and with her family would bring Sophie some comfort. But Sophie wouldn't go. She was afraid of what she would find there. Afraid to actually see for herself the empty shell of the home she had so dearly loved and the ghosts that resided there...
Sophie was so caught up in her grief that the small sound of footprints gently padding toward her was completely overlooked. It was not until the slight pressure of a small, furry head pressed against her knee that she even realized that she was no longer alone. Raising her head from her lap, Sophie turned to see a small dog with a peculiar grin staring up at her. For some reason, the dog seemed important, familiar somehow.
There was a sharp intake of breath from behind her, causing Sophie to gently turn around. A young boy with reddish-brown hair was standing only a few feet away, hugging the wall behind her.
No.
It couldn't be…
"Markl?"
Yay, now the fun part begins!
Thank you so much each and every person that reviewed last chapter, especially Schrouded View (as always), shiroi-miko (sorry for the wait), Dreamz (I'm so sorry I made you cry. And yea, at the moment I live in the South, but I'm not from here), zenbon zakura ( what can I say... both creepy and touching at the same time), 11My-Cookies11 (you'll just have to find out for yourself), vivid dreamer (thank you so much for the review), NeRd4LiFe2007 (that was not the end, I'm just getting started), Spam Hearts Jasper (don't worry, just wait a little longer and it'll get better, I promise), Cagalli-01 (Thank you so much! I'm so glad you like the story), meaningfulnonsense (I have to say, I love your name... it's awsome) FlayiusD (don't worry, I'm not giving up yet!), Unsavory Charlatan ( thanks for the review!), and finally avidlydreaming (thank you so much for reviewing. Your review actually got me thinking about picking up the fic again. Thank you so much and I hope you liked the chapter.)
As always, any misspellings are the sole fault of my evil Spell Check.
I hope to get back to you as soon as I can and I hope you liked the chapter.
As always, Thank you for reading my fic and to those who take the time to review, I am forever in your dept.
until next time...
OneRogueAngel