I watched the barrier for what seemed like three eternities. The very instant I saw a black smudge wiggling through it, I hastily stood up and sprang across the hollow.. I skidded in front of my beloved and worried a-loud, "Hollypaw, I'm sorry about earlier! I should have gone with you. I should have never chosen anything over you. I'm so sorry."

I knew how much it hurt to have the cat you love deem something as more important. It was not long since my bleeding had stopped. Not long since my heart was wrapped with cobwebs.. I was still healing. Hollypaw had the power to fix my wounds, as she had the power to deepen them until they were lethal.

She was both my warrior and my medicine cat. I had to be the safe for her, which meant I always had to put her first.

Hollypaw's ears flicked and she purred lightly, "Stupid furball, it's okay. I know that you need to protect the clan, too." She nudged me and added, "ThunderClan would never manage without my big, strong warrior."

I felt myself swell with pride and hope alike, to a degree I'd never experienced before. She called me hers. She claimed me as a possession, something that she and only she was allowed to have. That meant she finally knew the rules of my game and she was not only accepting them, but she was enforcing them on her own end.

Excellent.

"Do you still want to hunt?" I asked her before anything else. If she wanted it, then it was the most urgent of things. I'd chase my tail at the Gathering if she'd only ask.

"No, but I need to talk to you." She informed me, flicking her tail for me to follow her. We retreated to the far end of the hollow, out of the range of even Brook- who could hear extremely well because of where she was born.

"Do you really love me?" Hollypaw asked, shocking me to the core.

I glanced at her and agreed, "Of course I do!" Didn't she know that already? How did she have trouble figuring it out; when I was so willing and ready to do anything for her? "How could you have to ask me that?"

I fell silent when she shook her head at me. She asked suddenly, "Would you fight for me, Ashfur?"

She knew I would. I had done it yesterday. Perhaps that was not enough for her, though. Maybe she wanted to hear something better than that.

I jerked my chin up in a flare of defiance towards all I knew, and I promised, "Hollypaw, I would fight Starclan if you asked me to."

I watched her carefully. She seemed to glow with the happiness my words spread through her. I leaned forward and purred tenderly, "I would die for you." That left her looking stunned. I brushed my cheek against her affectionately, trying to make a point that I was here for her always. Even during a simple conversation like this.

I felt her eyes looking over my head. I followed her line of sight to see Mouseclaw crouching there, looking at us from over his should from where he was sharing some freshkill with Berrynose. Why did she keep clinging onto him? I felt a snarl, darker and more passionate than usual, rumble from my chest. I would put a stop to this instantly. I would let her know that if I was to be only hers, she was to be only mine.

I shifted myself so that I stood in front of her, cornering her to the edge of the hollow as well as blocking her view from everything other than myself. I glared down at her, flickering my eyes back to the insolent boy. She was mine. This was only a two player game, sorry Mouseclaw. Under my breath I promised, "Hollypaw. I would kill for you."

Our eyes locked. I was internally struggling against my own desires to hurt her. To bite her shoulder and leave a mark--my claiming scar--on her flesh forever. To claw her in the ears and demand she stop having disloyal thoughts.

The young cat shrank under my gaze. I realized it was time for me to turn away from her. Time to give her some space as well as take some space to avoid my wildler half. I collected Cloudtail and Thornclaw and led the two toms off on a hunting patrol by the lake.

I was kept busy the next two suns when Brambleclaw asked me to keep up Foxpaw's training while Squirrelflight was in the medicine cat's den. Spiderleg was helping, because the large apprentice posed a risk to my just-healing wounds.

Sundown, the third day after my conversation with Hollypaw, Firestar approached me. He said that now that Lionfang could walk well enough, his and Hollypaw's official warrior ceremonies were going to be held. I collect my former apprentice. He was already a warrior, and he seemed a bit nervous to be participating in a ceremony when he didn't know why. I gave him a reassuring nudge to his good shoulder as we settled in front Hollypaw and Graystripe.

"Today I call us together to recognize the bravery and skill of two fine cats." Firestar yowled strongly, indicating for me and Lionfang to come forward. I led him to the bottom of the highrock, in front of our leader, with pride in m step. As hard as it was to get along with the fiery and independent tom, I really had to admit he was a cat the whole clan would one day honor and respect. He had the makings of a clan leader in him.

Firestar's deep green eyes shined. "Lionfang, do you promise to uphold the warrior code, to serve and protect this Clan, even at the cost of your life?"

Lionfang purred proudly, "I almost have already."

I couldn't help but chuckle under my breath. Firestar smiled a bit before declaring loudly, "Then by the powers of Starclan I confirm your warrior name, Lionfang, and welcome you as a full warrior of Thunderclan."

Lionfang beamed in pride, wincing only a little as the wound across his throat bothered him. I backed away and settled in beside Daisy, watching the other half of the ceremony with acute interest.

"Hollypaw, please come forward." Firestar summoned. Graystripe set his tail on her flank as they obeyed the request. I felt myself sort of leering at her as she regally approached her leader. Her body rippled with the strong, toned muscles the best of warriors had. She was so lean and beautiful and perfect...

My time taken to bask in her glow deafened me to Firestar's voice. I turned back in just in time to hear her name announced. "...moment on you will be known as Hollythorn. StarClan welcomes you as a full warrior of Thunderclan."

I sprang to my feet, feeling my fur fluff out in excitement for these two young cats, both connected to me. I yowled as loud as I possibly could, "Lionfang, Hollythorn! Lionfang, Hollythorn!" The rest of the clan joined in, our voices thundering off the steep edges of the hollow.

I settled back and watched, pride swelling within me, as the two cats took off for their vigil. Hollythorn shared a few words with Brackenfur before the disappeared through the thorn barrier.

It was barely into daytime when I woke the next morning. The den was nearly empty. Lionfang was sleeping in a newly built nest, and Dustpelt was curled up with Ferncloud. I think he liked having her back in the den with him.

Stretched the stiffness from my legs and back, I padded out into the hollow. I settled back to watched Hollythorn and Mouseclaw when I spotted them talking at the foot of the highledge. Mouseclaw laughed, and she brushed her muzzle against his. I felt my fur bristling with hostility as the two of them started whispering.

She was keeping something from me.. Her actions towards me, all the purrs and rubs and idle conversation, were clear indications that she loved me. Why would she keep doing these things then? Why would she intentionally hurt my by wasting her affection on him?

Maybe she doesn't love you.

I felt myself growling at such nonsense thoughts. Of course she loved me! She wanted to be with me!

She's never said it...

I shook my head. She had to care for me. She... just... had to. I had nobody else. I had nothing, except for her.

I had zoned out in thought, missing a few exchanges. I was surprised to see Hollythorn give a sad head shake. Mouseclaw sighed heavily and pressed his nose to hers in farewell. She licked his cheek and turned away from him.

Hollythorn met my eye. I felt hate start to blacken my chest as we looked at one another. Have I been living in my own lie? Was it possible that I couldn't make her feel for me the same way I felt for her? Were we really doomed to that bitter sort of fate?

I didnt know.

But I was sure as Starclan going to find out.