Story: Beneath the Mask, Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia.

My fans, pleeeease forgive me that it's been so long. A lot of things have been going on. Right now, I recovering from the flu, but I decided I was gonna try to whip you up another update since it has been so long, so here it is~!

By the way it makes me so happy that so many have taken an interest to this story. Every single one of you out there, thank you so much for your support. :3

He hadn't actually wanted to go, but he didn't want to 'disappoint' or sound 'rude', or let them down, either.

He hadn't even had an idea as to what to say all of a sudden when England had asked him that, but he wanted to try to be nice and somewhat sociable, considering how all of them had seemed to be able to push aside their differences to go somewhere like a restaurant, even.

So here he was now, standing outside of a Golden Coral, a buffet restaurant, being hugged by a cheery North Italy, and being 'graced by the awesome presence' of 'the awesome Prussia'.

He forced a smile, anxiously trying to push back the knowledge of, and ignore the obviously worried glances he was receiving.

Unknowingly, North Italy had brushed a semi-sensitive area, and he barely held back the urge to laugh.

"So, dudes, how's it going, Prussia? Has Germany been taking care of you?"

Prussia just smirked. "Hah. As if. I'm way too awesome to need some baby sitter, so I've been watching after him, instead. Keseses~"

"No you haven't." Germany looked away, a bit awkwardly. "Quit being so cocky, Prußen..."

"Aw~! Come on now~! Don't be shy~! Awesome big brother dearest always knows his almost as awesome little bruder best of all, no matter what he says or may insist." Germany seemed to jump slightly, startled when an arm was suddenly thrown around his shoulders.

"H-hey." Germany looked over at his brother, and, for once, there wasn't a cocky grin; the albino was giving a truly graceful and genuine smile to him, and he couldn't help but give a small smile back in return, albeit a little red.

"Yo. What do you guys we go ahead and make our way inside, already? I'm starving!" America suddenly said, receiving odd and almost surprised looks from both England and Japan.

He just had to play along this one time, if only to not burden or worry any of them. He could throw every single bit of it up, after excusing himself to the restroom, after 'stuffing his face', like he usually did', anyway.

"Yes, of course, America..." England said, giving a strange reminiscent sort of smile.

"Si~! I'm hungry as well! Come on, you big slowpokes~!" North Italy then beamed in agreement.

"H-hai. For once, I do have to agree with Italy-san." Japan tried to keep from smiling, but suddenly it was obvious that he was just as excited about this get-together as the rest of them.

"Sorry, but you'd probably agree with anyone or anything if it has to do with food..." Germany muttered.

"O-oi! No, I-th-that's...! It's not my fault...! My citizens have made me that way, Germany-san...!" the Japanese man insisted, stammering and suddenly flushing in awkwardness a bit at the comment. Yes, he did love trying many different foods, as long as they weren't dyed any weird colors like purple, blue, or green, like in, 'Green Eggs and Ham'... Surely, there wasn't anything wrong with that, was there...?

"Yes, yes. We know... Come on, ol' chap. It's perfectly fine with me, myself." England assured with a smile, along with most everyone else, in some form of amusement at how 'passionate' Japan could all of a sudden get over certain things, at times. It was understandable, though, as he was a nation, they had to admit.

Everyone seemed to be snickering or at least smiling a bit, except for America, and Japan(for obvious reasons), and then North Italy, who suddenly looked over at America, momentarily studying him with a... understanding gaze. Germany noticed his happy expression seemed to fade a bit, a brief look of worry and melancholy in his eyes, before he retracted back to brightly smiling and encouraging them to just hurry on in. Something told the blonde that Italy had noticed something just then that had made him... sad, but before he could have the chance to call on the usually cheery Italian, Prussia was already pulling him on in.

"Keseses~! Come on west...! Don't be so slow! You're gonna be the last one in, if you don't freaking hurry, already...!"

"Yeah, dude, what Prussia said; don't start getting worried or depressed on us, now!" America told him.

"Now look who's talking... I'm such an idiot. If both Germany and Italy are acting like that, too, then at least I'd be less suspicious, and it would just be seen as anxiousness for this unlikely gathering. Still, what if someone starts wanting some kind of explanation as to everyone's weird behaivor...? It would probably all just go back to me then... What will I even say, anyway...?"

"Hey, guys, listen, um... Can I cover your meals?" He suddenly decidedly offered, wanting to see everyone there smile in appreciation only so he himself, could as well, just like them, even if he wasn't all too fond of the idea of using a huge portion of free spending money that he had been trying to save up. He could already hear China in the background, and even England fussing at him for wasting all that money on luxuries, but he wanted to do this, if only to see.

Besides if someone else payed for his food, he'd only feel really bad later for certainly letting them wasting their money, in that manner, on a relatively 'good', but still 'inconsiderately' wasted meal, when he was done, later.

"What? America? You can't be serious, can you? That would be really unnecessary, you should know. And if your going to do something like that, then at least let me he-"

"No. I can't." America cut him off, rather seeming to take him by surpise. At this point, everyone was studying him in worry, but not exactly; more like with an almost baffled look, expressing something along the lines that said, "Is America, of all people really asking to cover our meals...? That's not that like him. It's almost like the look in his eyes is saying 'I know I have other things I should be using it on, but I do want to do this for you all'.".

"Well, um... I want to cover your meals, kinda to say, 'thanks', I guess... Not only that, but... well this is America, isn't it...? It's my homeland now, so I want to." he smiled at them, somehow hiding the pain in what he was saying from his voice.

"Well, if that's the case, I won't object, I suppose... Thank you, America." England nodded in understanding, and a slight shrug, momentarily patting his shoulder.

"Si~! Grazie, America~! That's really nice of you~!" North Italy chimed, smiling innocently at him.

'He's wrong. I'm actually not all that nice, North Italy...'

"Mn." Germany just nodded in respect.

'Germany is probably still mad at me, after all we've been through... He's just acting nice out of obligation, right...?'

"Kesese~! I actually don't mind paying for it all, myself, and originally I was going too, considering I can tolerate all you guys, and that you guys can tolerate my awesomeness." Prussia laughed.

'...Huh?'

"..but, if you really insist, I won't stop you."

"Yeah. Thanks, dude... And I'd be glad to do this again some time. Maybe in another country?" America spoke, looking at them.

A sudden silence had settled between them after he said that. His heartbeat sped up immensely, and suddenly he hoped he hadn't said something weird or something he just shouldn't have.

However, he was relieved when Italy once again spoke up, breaking through the awkward tension which had almost completely enveloped them, and was nearly managing to suffocate him.

"Si~! It would be a lot of fun, if we could get fratello Spain and fratello Romano, and even... well... Sig. Russia, and... Sig. China... Ve~ Next, let's all go to Italy~!"

Honestly, nobody seemed to know what to think about what Italy had said.

Germany, who had been the most silence the whole time, next to Japan, seemed unsurprised. Even if Russia and China, could be terrible nations at times, just like all of them..., they were human down deep, where it counted, right?

"Ja. I agree with Italien... All of us may have our personal grudges as nations, but... if we're going to be gathering like this again, it would be wrong to not invite anyone who would want to go because of what the nation inside of us may feel. To be honest, all of the nations out there... are just as human as all of you are... That's my own opinion on this, so I can't hate you, though if you don't agree me." he told them, straight up, not regretting in the slightest, but still not all that tuned to the silence that was now quickly ruining the mood.

"H-hai... I also agree with Germany-san, Italy-san, and America-san."

"...Right, whatever..." England just mumbled, not particularly wanting to hurt any of their feelings. Regardless if he knew what Germany had was true, he still wasn't all that fond of China, even as person. Honestly, though, now that he thought about it, Yao was one of the oldest nation personifications of them all, so he, of all people, had definitely faced some of the worst tragedies in history. The guy's citizens and huge unhappy population, and the depression and anger from his people, must have had a rather large effect on his mental status...

Russia couldn't be all that different then, could he? Maybe... he just handled in a different way...?

"I also agree as well." he then said, in acceptance.

"Then we're all in agreement, right?" Prussia smiled, once again throwing an arm over Germany's shoulder.

"Das war mutig. Du bist wirklich genial. Danke, deutschland..."

"Yeah," America nodded, giving a thumbs up. "thanks, guys."

Some stupid and frustrating voice in the back of his head might question why he couldn't have "just taken up their offer to begin with and let them pay and simply stomach the food they'd kindly covered for him, if he really wanted to show them kindness and 'appreciation'", but the only possible way to answer that was... it wouldn't work, because he couldn't just look past his obsession with loosing this weight and making them and him happy and proud of him.

...Would he ever be happy, in the end, with who he was, and what he was...? Maybe, but... he completely doubted he'd ever be able to be as happy as everyone else, and... as 'awesome' and likable as someone Prussia or his brother, or even Italy, But, as long as there was some kind of happiness or satisfaction from someone, he had to admit it was... enough, even if he would always feel a bit jealous of them. Why couldn't he be happy, just like them, without having to give away all of his own stuff, and practically his own soul...?

Why did he always sacrifice nearly everything of his to see other people happy about him even being there, if he still knew that he wouldn't be happy or anything, after they left and were gone later...? Why was it such a bad habit of his, anyway?

He knew he couldn't stop, wouldn't stop, with the self-harm, self-loathing, and nor even hating himself when he couldn't hate himself, so... why should he even bother trying, and, considering that he didn't care or want to try to stop, he still couldn't help but just think about it and let it continue to frustrate him so much.

All just because he was addicted to it...

And of that, alone, hurt him more than he could ever understand or even begin to comprehend, so he just continued to brood about it, because over time of being used to it, he'd almost began to want to hurt, because it was a part of him, now, even with other people around.

He still somehow wanted to reach out, but he didn't know how, nor did his mind seem to want to reach out, as he wasn't going to 'seek attention out of pity', because he didn't want it, nor need it.

Yet his heart yearned to understand it all... It knew that he needed someone to be there to embrace him, and to be able to cry over their shoulder every once in awhile, so why couldn't he reach out...?

Simple, he was a hero, and America didn't want him to reach out and ask for help.

He didn't need it, as he'd brought all of it on himself, with only himself to blame for it.

...So Alfred did nothing. That was all he knew, or was allowed to feel, and because of that he hated being a nation, and... he hated himself for that, but, at the same time, just accepted it... Because that's all there ever was, anyway...

~ End of First Part of Chapter 7.

Next part hopefully will be coming soon...

Translations:

"Das war mutig. Du bist wirklich genial. Danke, deutschland..." -

"That was brave. You really are awesome... Thank you, Germany..."

A/N: What do you all think? I'm planning to eventually go back over this story, and re-edit it. I've been working on a Durarara fanfiction about Izaya Orihara called 'Hope of Morning'(very similar concepts to this fanfic) and since I've started it, and have been working on deconstructing his complex masochistic personality/ longing, and 'love of humans', it's really been improving my writing, at least I think. I've been really busy lately, though, and I've been going through a lot of stuff in my life.

So it really does make me happy and content to read and write fanfictions, and to be able to know that there are other people semi-like me. Writing about characters like this helps me be able to connect to things easier. Again, it really means a lot that there are people out there that are supporting me in someway or another, by just the fact that they reading my more serious stories, especially ones like these, with this heavy content being what is.

Thank you, all of you out there for letting me know that least some people are enjoying and listening to part of my own story, even if it is through a 'fake' character from some TV show or anime. Not a lot of people out there understand, and they just say crap like, "It's only fiction, so your just being delusional and insist on dramatizing things."

But you know what? It's the fact that it is fiction that you get to experience feelings that you may have never been able to experience before. And that's nearly enough for me, myself. No, I'm fully aware that anime isn't "real", but to be honest, at times, anime and fanfiction, are the only things that ever allow me to open my 'shell' and truly feel real. In truth, it isn't the character or animation, or book or items you can hold in your hand, including even pictures, that matters.

It's the depth, and the fact that I'm actually to feel connected with somebody, whether they're 'real' or not. It's not the character, but it's the character that matters to me. They may not be 'real', but their character is real, or feels real enough to me, anyways. Call me delusional if you want, but... this is the way I feel.

Anyway..., I just wanted to say 'thank you' to all of you out there, for reading and supporting this story, if you still will, and, hopefully, I'll be able to update some more, eventually. And I still haven't forgotten about that hetafic about Mr. South Italy, yet, and I still certainly do plan on writing it once I get the chance, and am not in an author's block. In fact, I even have two or three pages of lined paper as a rough draft already written for a starter, so maybe one day soon, you all be able to see it, ne~? Well, Ja ne~

Ciao, friends~ Ve... that's it for now~

Gomenasai...